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A Whore of a different culture

There's been a bit of a buzz around the blogosphere today about Markos "Screw them" Zunika of Daily Kos having accepted payment for consulting on the Howard Dean presidential campaign. Kos insists he only consulted on "technical matters," but the people who actually cut the checks thought they were buying plugs and other favorable treatments from Kos.

I have to admit I'm jealous. Nobody, NOBODY's ever offered me any kinds of bribes or enticements whatsoever to endorse or condemn any position or person, and it's hurt.

So if Mohammed won't come to the mountain, this mountain's going to Mohammed. I'm hereby putting myself out for sale.

For the first five people who give either $100 or a day's pay to tsunami relief, you get to dictate a posting by me here at Wizbang. You pick the topic, you can even pick which side you want me to argue -- I'll force myself to do it.

Now for the fine print:
1) This is being done on the "honor system." Make your donation first, THEN post your claim in the comments to this thread. I'm not looking for pledges, but actual gifts. I won't ask for proof, but I would like to think the readers of Wizbang! are trustworthy.

2) I am committing to only the first five claimants. I will do more if I have the time and the inspiration, but I will do those five.

3) I am reserving the right to reject topics that are too "out there." I will stretch the hell out of myself for this, but I have limits. I could probably do pieces about "why John Kerry should be president today" and "How much better Massachusetts is than the rest of the country," but would probably pass on ones like "the Red Sox suck" (I neither know nor care much about sports) or "George W. Bush practices bestiality after the lights go out in the White House" (just too vile). Donors will have up to three chances to come up with an acceptable topic before I dump them and move on to the next entrant.

4) All postings I make as a result of this contest will include at least one link to the donor's web site (if they have one) and a kind word or two.

5) All postings will be done by January 23, if at all possible. I will certainly do my damndest to get them out sooner.

6) The donations must be made to a reputable charity, and earmarked for tsunami relief.

7) All these rules are subject to change at any time for any reason whatsoever. Especially if some wiseass finds a loophole (yeah, I'm talking about you, Rodney) and I find myself getting royally screwed.

OK, that's it. I'm officially prostituting my writing ability and posting privileges here at Wizbang! for a worthy cause. I'm tossing down the gauntlet. Break out your checkbooks, then come back here and BRING IT ON.

J.

(Updates below the fold)

OK, we have the first few winners for postings:

1) Doug Miller -- "How can we meet the current military staffing demands without extending the current tours of Guard and Reserve forces?"

2) Scott -- "Support a Rumsfeld/Romney Presidential ticket for 2008."

3) Rightwingsparkle -- "Describe how the Religious Right can reconcile itself with the South Park Conservatives away from the War On Terror."

4) Vanshalar -- "Describe why certain things have evolved as 'gay stereotypes' and why they're unfair."

5) Bill K -- "make the case against President Bush's tax cuts."

Some real challenges there (particularly Scott's requiring me to make the case for a 76-year-old man to be elected president), but no one went to out-and-out screw me over. Thanks, folks.

If anyone mentioned above feels I've misinterpreted their challenge, please speak up. And just because I've filled my minimum commitment doesn't mean I won't take more challenges. Let's keep those bucks rolling in, people...


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Comments (32)

I'm not a blogger, but a bl... (Below threshold)
Doug:

I'm not a blogger, but a blog reader. One of the few I think that doesn't have a blog (other than the one I keep for my 5 year old daughter)

I gave $200 to the American Red Cross for Tsunami Relief today.

Here is the position I want argued...as I don't have a stance, i would like your opinion, rather than dictating one to you.

I am a conservative, pro-war, Paul Wolfowitz lovin' guy from Texas that has voted for W 4 times. I even sat next to him at a baseball game here in Arlington once.

But, I am worried about the Guard and Reserves running out of Active Duty time....their 24 months have nearly ran out.

I also believe that if you try to extend their Active Duty, you will see a large influx of people leaving the Guard and Reserves.

So, your challenge is to convince me that either I am right to worry, or that Wolfowitz and Rumsfield have the situation covered, and I'm just being silly for worrying about this.

Thanks,

Doug Miller

BTW, In case your readers don't know, Girl Scout cookies are now on sale. And if you happen to be on a diet, most troops are arranging for any boxes of cookies that you don't want to be shipped to the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Damn, Doug, right out of th... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Damn, Doug, right out of the gate you're sticking me with a hell of a hard one. But it's a fair one, and I'll accept it. I'm already toying with a few ideas, but this one's gonna require a little research...

And thanks for the donation. That's what it's all about, in the end.

J.

You do realize that ... (Below threshold)

You do realize that you just created a "George W. Bush AND beastiality" google link...

- Kos has the advantage bec... (Below threshold)

- Kos has the advantage because he's willing to lie about anything.....Just put it in front of him and he'll post it....as long as your signing the checks....

Like Doug above I'm not a b... (Below threshold)

Like Doug above I'm not a blogger, more of a reader than anything else (although truth be told I did give blogging a half hearted effort a couple of years ago before my life became over taken by events I deem much more important than the ranting I was spewing out). Now I just livejournal the trivial, and enjoy the fact that those who can, do blog.

That said I just donated $150 to OxFam of America, because my last donation just wasn't enough to make me feel like I really did something.

I've been a fan of Wizbang (even though you lack a dedicated t-shirt babe) since I stumbled over here from IMAO a year or so ago. I've even managed to comment once or twice.

That said (and unlike Doug above, I'll take advantage of your offer to discuss things from a dictated view point), I'd like to read (and this is in all seriousness) is a compelling discussion on why you would support a Donald Rumsfeld/Romney ticket for President in 2008.

Ok, I already gave $100 to ... (Below threshold)

Ok, I already gave $100 to the tsunami relief, but I will give another $100.

I want you to blog on how Religious Conservatives and Southpark conservatives are going to have to get along after this war is over. I want you to argue the Relgious side ( I know your not that religious, but I could help you there...;-) We just had a great discussion at my site and Protein Wisdom's site about a few things, but there are lots of others. Mainly the social issues that we social conservatives care so much about and Southpark Republicans either could care less, or really want us to shut up about them. It is going to affect the Supreme Court nominees and future legislation on things like stem cell research. Just alot of things we don't agree on at all.
I do love the Southpark conservatives though. They are so much fun!!!

OUCH, Scott! I'm not gonna ... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

OUCH, Scott! I'm not gonna accept that one right away -- I'm going to give you a chance to reconsider. I'm seeing one HELL of a huge obstacle in that Rummy will be 76 years old in 2008 -- seven years older than when Reagan became president. If you insist, I'll do it, but DAMN that's a tough row to 'ho...

Anyone got one that's NOT about Donald Rumsfeld? Or do we have a secret cult of Rummy groupies here that I never noticed before?

J.

I graduated from college an... (Below threshold)
Vanshalar:

I graduated from college and don't have a job...so does the offer apply to me? I'll donate a thousand days' worth of pay to the tsunami relief fund! Really! I've um already done that anyway.

Anyway okay couldn't resist posting because I don't have anything to do but surf the net since I'm still looking for a job but um...good job blogging by the way, you're one of the blogs I check everyday ever since I caught the blog-reading bug back when the AP reported that the crowd at a Bush rally booed when he said Clinton was in a hospital, right before the whole Rather business.

If I could have a topic it would probably be something about people who do nontraditional things, since I'm an Asian guy who does gymnastics and was a cheerleader and stuff, and would rather watch a figure skating competition than a slam dunk competition, and I've had people ask me if I were gay before (I'm not), so why are some things associated with gays, especially when we're all supposed to be lovey-dovey accepting of everyone and not judge them by their hobbies and all that? I'm always curious about that. But I'll withhold submitting that until I scrounge around to see if the change under my couch adds up to $100.

Jay,I thought with... (Below threshold)

Jay,

I thought with age came wisdom! By 76, he's got to be a pretty wise (and electable) man...

But if I've got to replace him on my dream ticket then...hmmm...how about a Romney/Ziller ticket? Your choice on who gets to be on top.

Ok, so I crack myself up.

How about a report discussing the historical significance of the US Private industry putting the first man into orbit in the early 1950's.

That’s worded rather oddly isn't it? Maybe a better way of saying it would be a report about the space program would be different had private industry in the US put the first man into orbit written from the point of view that they actually had done so.

Ok, its after midnight and I've stopped making any sense at all...

OK, I'm sensing a theme her... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

OK, I'm sensing a theme here. Two guys obsessed with Rumsfeld, now Vanshalar wants me to address gay stereotypes. Maybe I'll tie all of them together, and say Rumsfeld is gonna run for president on a "draft the gays" platform. Romney will be his veep because it's the only way he'll turn over the lists of gays who got married in Massachusetts.

Seriously, Vanshalar... an exploration into gay stereotypical behavior, what can straight men who find themselves falling into those cliche's can do. Could be a challenge there... consider it tentatively accepted.

J.

Sparkle, you ask heaps. Uni... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Sparkle, you ask heaps. Uniting the Jesus Freaks and the Republican Party Reptiles (using the P. J. O'Rourke term), AND do it from the Jesus Freaks' side? Oh, Lord have mercy...

OK, I think I see an angle or two for this one. It'll have to be "why the Religious Right should do it" rather than a "why we, the Religious Right, should do it," but I think I can pull it off.

There's two solid taken (Doug's and Rightwingsparkle) and two more tentatively accepted (Scott and Vanshalar). Any more takers?

J.

I just wrote a check for $1... (Below threshold)

I just wrote a check for $150 to World Vision. I've been intending to get that done for a few days now, but your offer inspired me to do it NOW. The only problem is I can't think of a topic worthy of this opportunity, at least not at this particular moment. I suppose I could have you argue why my blog is the best ever, but that seems so, well, tacky. I'll have to think about this one.

I don't know if you are cou... (Below threshold)
Bill K:

I don't know if you are couting the unemployed guy or not, so you may be at five, but if not, let me know. I would like to take part in this.

I have already donated $150 to the tsunami relief fund, but since I really don't want to see the inevietable post from one of your longtime readers claiming I am lying, I will donate $100 to Wizbang and then they may dole it out to a charity.

Let me know if the offer is still available. If not, I will just send the $100 directly to the Red Cross.

Bill, it's all on the honor... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Bill, it's all on the honor system. I'm trusting people who say they donate the money to do so; anyone who questions it can kindly remember this is an single arrangement between me and the individual poster. If they don't like it, they can shove it.

I'm also considering the 5 a minimum. The more, the merrier. So toss your topic in, I'll put it on the pile. You've been around here a while; I'll trust you to not screw me too badly. And if you do... well, I knew that was possible when I committed to do this, and won't whine. Well, not too much.

J.

Well, maybe since I have de... (Below threshold)
Bill K:

Well, maybe since I have derived such enjoyment from your blog over the last couple of months I will do a combination of both. The donation to you will be to keep.

Topic? Simple. I would like you to make the arguement against President Bush's tax cuts. Its negative effects on the US budget and the middle class (short and long term).

Oh, if only Paul was doing this...

Jay,<a href="http://rightwi... (Below threshold)
not that i care, rea... (Below threshold)

not that i care, really. . .

but everyone deserves a
defense, right?

so -- what kos allegedly did
was not a crime.

i didn't see anyone say that the dean
funds belonged to the taxpayers. . .

not ethical? yes -- not ethical, unless
disclosed -- sunshine being the best
antiseptic, here. do we know he didn't?

what the bush administration did, otoh,
not once, not twice, but THREE separate
times (at least!) -- was to (allegedly) commit

c r i m e s . . .

but like i say -- i don't really
care (all that much. . .)

and, do tell -- will a donation to truth.com count?

c h e e r s!

increase the

p e a c e,

--tae, out.

erh --". . .the... (Below threshold)

erh --

". . .thetruth.com."

d a g. . .

Okay, I don't have $100 to ... (Below threshold)
Just Me:

Okay, I don't have $100 to donate.

I am however donating a couple of handmade jewelry items for an auction for Tsunami relief at www.sybermoms.com. All funds raised will be going to American Friends Service Committee. We raised 20k for breastcancer research and 7k for St Judes in December. My two items in the December auction for St Judes brought in $150. So does that count? The auction isn't until Feb 9 though.

If it does I would be interested in seeing you argue why private charity does a better job of reaching those in need than government run charity or the UN.

erh -- thanks -- i think(?)... (Below threshold)

erh -- thanks -- i think(?) -- for
stopping by my place, jay tea.

actually -- i was hoping my donation
to thetruth.com would get me a post
on "why the dean-kos kerfluffle
has captured your imagination in a
way that the armstrong-williams-bush-
administration-d.o.e.-allegedly-
CRIMINAL-pravda-by-proxy stuff

c a n n o t". . .

to each his/her own, i guess.

live well, jay tea, just the same.

p e a c e

-- tae, out.

Yes, "tae," that was me tha... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Yes, "tae," that was me that stopped by your place earlier. Let me also add my contempt for your nom de plume. Yes, I use a pseudonym, but it's obviously not a real name. You, on the other hand, are using the name of a real person to hide behind, and I find that contemptible.

The reason I singled out Kos and not Williams (as if I owe you an explanation) is that I am a blogger, not a columnist. If I was a columnist, I would have something to say. But others (especially Michelle Malkin) have said everything that need be said about it.

So there's your answer, "tae." Why don't you go find yourself an original pseudonym, a new fixation, and perhaps even a clue or two. I got NO stomach for your particular brand of crap.

J.

Yikes! tae diggs is the "La... (Below threshold)

Yikes! tae diggs is the "La Shawn Barber exposed" site. I just can't imagine dedicating my time to a site to diss one person.
I mean I can't stand Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, and Martin Sheen AND there are a few bloggers I'm not wild about, but I'm not gonna waste my time blogging soley about THEM.
Something must really touch a nerve here. And it's wierd.

erh -- whatever, jay tea.</... (Below threshold)

erh -- whatever, jay tea.

he spells his name
differently than mine.

"can i buy a "y" there,vanna?. . ."

yeah -- whatever --
i guess we all look
alike to you -- right?

he he!

but seriously, man. . .

be well -- take care.

bub-bye.

-- tae, out.

I'll pass.... (Below threshold)
firstbrokenangel:

I'll pass.

tae_diggs:I just n... (Below threshold)
-S-:

tae_diggs:

I just noticed on my one and only visit to your website that you have a highly modified rendition of my logo designed for the 2004 Weblog Awards.

Any modifications of that artwork are forbidden by copyright. The copyright is clearly stated along with terms of use for the artwork on the published site where the work is available.

You have twenty-four hours to remove your display and abuse of the copyritten work and that includes Google cached pages, if they exist -- you are responsible for looking into that and ensuring that those cached pages, if they exist, are also removed.

So, take it down, remove the cached pages or you are in violation of copyright protections for that piece of work of mine.

I've taken a screen capture for reference and will check tomorrow to see what's what. If it's still there, I hope you have some money available to pay for your theft and violations of the work.

sorry -- i was out late ... (Below threshold)

sorry -- i was out late last night (fri.). . .

erh, s. -- provide proof of ownership;
plus proof that mine is NOT fair
use "parody" - and i will comply.

do so PUBLICLY at MY site.

leave valid contact details.

do so promptly -- else i will rightly
presume you have consented to the parody.

and otherwise - in general, stop

i m p e r s o n a t i n g

people you are not.

and in either event, forget the sillly,
false and unreasonable 24 hour nonsense

deadline. . . oooh i am so scared.

p e a c e

through "parody" baby --

know the whole of our common
law before ye rant. . .

as always, you are an. . .

i n t e r e s t i n g

bunch, here.

-- tae, out.

sorry -- just back from ... (Below threshold)

sorry -- just back from my son's basketball
game -- and i was too hasty above in one respect:

scratch any reference to "impersonation."

i don't care who you are. my fair use
paraody is definitively NON-COMMERCIAL.

i seek nothing from it. but more importantly,
the first amendment grants me free expression
rights you've failed to consider.

i offer YOU no legal advice below -- this
is simply my defense of MY fair use. get
your own lawyer, here -- but i quoth the
ussct -- find it yourself -- dude/ette:

". . .The first factor in a fair use enquiry is "the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit. . . purposes." § 107(1). . .

Suffice it to say now that parody has an obvious claim to transformative value. . . Like less ostensibly humorous forms of criticism, it can provide social benefit, by shedding light on an earlier work, and, in the process, creating a new one. We thus line up with the courts that have held that parody, like other comment or criticism, may claim fair use under § 107. See, e. g., Fisher v. Dees, 794 F. 2d 432 (CA9 1986) ("When Sonny Sniffs Glue," a parody of "When Sunny Gets Blue," is fair use); Elsmere Music, Inc. v. National Broadcasting Co., 482 F. Supp. 741 (SDNY), aff'd, 623 F. 2d 252 (CA2 1980) ("I Love Sodom," a "Saturday Night Live" television parody of "I Love New York" is fair use); see also House Report, p. 65; Senate Report, p. 61 ("[U]se in a parody of some of the content of the work parodied" may be fair use). . .

[s. conceded that mine was TRANSFORMATIVE, above, or at least "highly-modified," no?

back to the case. . .]

For the purposes of copyright law, the nub of the definitions, and the heart of any parodist's claim to quote from existing material, is the use of. . . elements of a prior author's composition to create a new one that, at least in part, comments on that author's works. See, e. g., Fisher v. Dees, supra, at 437; MCA, Inc. v. Wilson, 677 F. 2d 180, 185 (CA2 1981). . .

[mine comments on the inherent
vapidity -- meaningless self-puffery -- of
all such "self-promotional" awards,
as well as la shawn's shameless
lobbying for the same. so, i find your
awards silly -- thus, i parody it. i do
not dilute what little value it may have
by doing so, because, as you admit,
mine is immediately distinguishable/
almost unrecognizable in its reference
to -- the original work -- but the hint is there.

that's parody, baby. more from this case:]

. . .Parody needs to mimic an original to make its point, and so has some claim to use the creation of its victim's (or collective victims') imagination, whereas satire can stand on its own two feet and so requires justification for the very act of borrowing. [n.15] See Ibid.; Bisceglia, Parody and Copyright Protection: Turning the Balancing Act Into a Juggling Act, in ASCAP, Copyright Law Symposium, No. 34, p. 25 (1987).

[any thoughts here, s.?]

and, now, in another ussct case:

"The jury found against respondent. . . when it decided that the. . . parody could not "reasonably be understood as describing actual facts about [respondent] or actual events in which [he] participated." App. to Pet. for Cert. C1. The Court of Appeals interpreted the jury's finding to be that the ad parody "was not reasonably believable," 797 F.2d at 1278, and, in accordance with our custom, we accept this finding. Respondent is thus relegated to his claim for damages awarded by the jury for the intentional infliction of emotional distress by "outrageous" conduct. But, for reasons heretofore stated, this claim cannot, consistently with the First Amendment, form a basis for the award of damages when the conduct in question is the publication of a caricature such as the ad parody involved here. The judgment of the Court of Appeals is accordingly. . .

Reversed."

i will await your contact details AT MY SITE.

and, i trust we will reason together there,
to reach some understanding -- if we don't,
it is actually a pretty shitty graphic anyway,
and i'll just morph it into something more
completely. . .

u n r e c o g n i z a b l e.

but ill do NOTHING until i hear
from you, on my site -- read my
legal mumbo-jumbo at the bottom
of my blog page.

p e a c e

through gnosis. . .

-- tae, out.

"tae," I'm not letting you ... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

"tae," I'm not letting you convert this thread (about helping people who really, REALLY need it) into yet another venue for your poorly-written, incoherent ravings. You have every right to vent your spleen all you like, and to nurture your perceived grievances and pathetic obsessions -- but we are NOT obligated to give you another forum. Here comes the magic mallet, scumbag... both your home address and your work address. Go bother others. Better yet, GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP.

J.

OK, I've given it some thou... (Below threshold)

OK, I've given it some thought, and my topic is: Indiana should not go on Daylight Savings Time. Boring, I know, but hoosiers are getting pretty worked up about it.

You got it, Diane. But I th... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

You got it, Diane. But I think I'll expand it to Arizona as well -- might as well irritate as many people as possible.

J.

I'm thinking "Tae" doesn't ... (Below threshold)

I'm thinking "Tae" doesn't understand who -S- is.
Come on -S-...Take her/him down!!!!!!

And don't go by Tae's rules either. Post back here what is going on or at least a link to your site for it.

Sparkle, -S- is way, way to... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Sparkle, -S- is way, way too decent a person to deal personally with such swine.

I'm not.

I've forced the fight on to his/her/its home turf, and he/she/it isn't doing too well. Go over there if you're curious -- and leave this thread for its intended, humane purpose. Now I got six pieces to start writing...

J.




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