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Fill In The Blanks

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Some debates are worth having. One that always amuses me is what the tagline at Oliver Willis' site should actually read. If for some reason you're not aware of OW's tagline it is, "Like Kryptonite To Stupid."

It's time to put all the variations that have been mentioned to a vote.

First we need to get a definitive listing of all the best variation. Nominate your favorite or make up your own in the comment section by Monday evening.

Tuesday I'll put the 10 best taglines up for a vote.


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» Matt Margolis - Blog linked with You Gotta Love It

» hubs and spokes linked with What does Kryptonite have to do with Stupid?

» Oliver Willis linked with Wizbang: Caught In A Lie, But You'd Never Know

» Sortapundit linked with Oliver Willis Wins Prestigous Award

» The Political Teen linked with ODub Whines Again

» Les Jones linked with Oliver Willis: Like [blank] to [blank]"

Comments (112)

Live Shit to a Shoe.... (Below threshold)

Live Shit to a Shoe.

(obvious:) Oliver Willis: L... (Below threshold)

(obvious:) Oliver Willis: Like Shit to Flies

That's 'Like', rather...</p... (Below threshold)

That's 'Like', rather...

Like frosting to meatloaf.<... (Below threshold)

Like frosting to meatloaf.

Or gravy to cake.

Take yer pick.

Like Kryptonite but stupid?... (Below threshold)
Drew:

Like Kryptonite but stupid?

Steve at Hog On Ice called... (Below threshold)
Tugar:

Steve at Hog On Ice called used "Like Kryptonite To Cupid".

Like peeing in the pool... (Below threshold)

Like peeing in the pool

Like Professor Churchill's ... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Like Professor Churchill's inkstains to academic competency.

Not mine, but I concur: Lik... (Below threshold)
tweell:

Not mine, but I concur: Like Superglue to Stupid.

Like Magnets to Stupid... (Below threshold)
Paul:

Like Magnets to Stupid

Like buckshot to brains.</p... (Below threshold)

Like buckshot to brains.

(This also doubles as a Kurt Cobain tribute piece.)

Like bacon to ice cream.</p... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Like bacon to ice cream.

Like water to cats.

Like Nancy Pelosi's temples to her ears.

Like horse to water.

Like Clinton to interns.</p... (Below threshold)

Like Clinton to interns.

Oliver Willis: Like Cyanide... (Below threshold)

Oliver Willis: Like Cyanide To Intelligence

or perhaps . . .

Oliver Willis: Like Miracle-Gro To Stupid

Like praying to George Soro... (Below threshold)
Bullwinkle:

Like praying to George Soros. Either interpretation works just fine.

Cheesecake to Kirstie Alley... (Below threshold)

Cheesecake to Kirstie Alley's hips

Like Monica to Bill. (sucki... (Below threshold)
Anonymoose:

Like Monica to Bill. (sucking)
Like Hillary to Bill. (sickening)
Like losing does to Al Gore/John Kerry. (makes them lose their minds)

Like Democracy to Mullahs. (repellent)

Like gerbils to Richard Gere. (desirable yet sickening, but not in a good way)
Like Richard Gere to Palestinians. (goofy, irrelevent)
Like premature explosions to Palestinians. (you just can't help rooting for more, even if it gets messy)

Like Forrest Gump to China. (a dumb person in a sea of people he doesn't understand)

Like mirrors to vampires<br... (Below threshold)
Greg:

Like mirrors to vampires
(Look as long as you want, there is nothing there)

Like oil for food

Like Buffalo to Super Bowls

Like Rather to trustworthy

Like Nader to charisma

Like Me too Stupid... (Below threshold)
S.K.:

Like Me too Stupid

Like stink to shit.L... (Below threshold)

Like stink to shit.
Like flies to shit
Like fat to ugly

Um, yeah... I think the sh... (Below threshold)

Um, yeah... I think the shit jokes are now overdone, folks. Let's try being more creative. (Don't ask me for an example right now. My brain is fried for the day.)

Like bush is to Hitler.... (Below threshold)
Magnum Serpentine:

Like bush is to Hitler.


You repubniks have ran out of things to attack this hero of democracy so you make jokes, badmouth him and in general make yourselves look like the fools you are.

Like Losing To Republicans<... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Like Losing To Republicans

like sore to loser.... (Below threshold)
merc:

like sore to loser.

Oliver Willis as a "hero of... (Below threshold)

Oliver Willis as a "hero of democracy?" Are you fucking kidding me? Dude, pull your head out of Willis's ass.

Like driving to Cuba.... (Below threshold)

Like driving to Cuba.

Like the French to war.... (Below threshold)

Like the French to war.

Like Charisma to Harry Reid... (Below threshold)

Like Charisma to Harry Reid

Like four men in a wheelbar... (Below threshold)

Like four men in a wheelbarrow is to the Taj Mahal.

Yeah, I'm drunk, wanna fight about it?

Live Viewers to MSNBC... (Below threshold)

Live Viewers to MSNBC

Like deodorant to the Frenc... (Below threshold)

Like deodorant to the French.

Like Benedict to Arnold... (Below threshold)

Like Benedict to Arnold

Like darkness to light

Like vegetables to intelligence

Like Castro to freedom

Like Clinton to truth

Like Kerry to relevant

Like feathers to gravitas

Like Weird Al to music

Like ass to horse

Like sheep to leader

Like Custer to Indians

And my favorite:

Like troll to bridge

(see Billy Goats Gruff if that analogy is lost on you)

Like Going to the Bathroom<... (Below threshold)

Like Going to the Bathroom

Like venereal disease to pe... (Below threshold)

Like venereal disease to penicillin.

Like sunlight to negatives<... (Below threshold)

Like sunlight to negatives
Like bugs to a windshield
Like fertilizer to concrete
Like apathy to responsibility
Like Lycra to Ross Perot

Like a blind <a href="http:... (Below threshold)

Like a blind Sandra Bullock to the short bus.

Like expired dairy to the lactose intolerant.

Like a baker's dozen to triskaidekaphobics.

Like a one-way ticket to communism.

Like ass to mouthO... (Below threshold)

Like ass to mouth

OK I apologize, that's just wrong!

Like maggots to corpses<br ... (Below threshold)

Like maggots to corpses
Like termites to wood
Like Chapman to Lennon
Like chum to bucket
Like toilet to dead goldfish

Like "foo" to a valid e-mai... (Below threshold)

Like "foo" to a valid e-mail address.

Like Kevin to MooreL... (Below threshold)
minnie:

Like Kevin to Moore
Like Buchanon to Liebermann
Like Buckley to Rand
Like Chalabi to Wolfowitz
Like Boykin to Musselmen
Like Jesus to Jews
Like pretzels to windpipes

Oh, please, minnie...Jesus ... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Oh, please, minnie...Jesus Christ was and is Jewish, and He offers hope and eternal life, not limitation and destruction.

Those alternates are the territory of the anti Christ, not of Christ.

Although, I realize to the anti Christ fans, everything makes sense only when it's defined as the opposite of what it actually is, as in "kryptonite to stupid."

There really are great Americans but Oliver is surely not among them. But, applying the opposites-are theory, you then work out the preposterous defamation of honor and integrity and worse, when you go for that antithesis of reason.

I'd say it's a case of like-truth-to-darkness: the darkness hates the truth.

Like Nipples on Men<p... (Below threshold)
stoj:

Like Nipples on Men

(doh- i didn't use "to".)

Like Atkins to Michael Moor... (Below threshold)
stoj:

Like Atkins to Michael Moore

Like Facts to a Democrat</p... (Below threshold)
stoj:

Like Facts to a Democrat

Like Fingernails to a Chalk... (Below threshold)
stoj:

Like Fingernails to a Chalkboard

Like Salt to an Open Wound<... (Below threshold)
stoj:

Like Salt to an Open Wound

And, Finally... (Drumroll..... (Below threshold)
stoj:

And, Finally... (Drumroll......)


Like Taking a Blind Man to IMAX

Like <a href="magnumserpent... (Below threshold)
Krusty Krab:

Like Magnum Serpentine to tweezers.

Not mine, but still my favorite:

Like smegma on foreskin.

Like, gag me with a spoon, ... (Below threshold)

Like, gag me with a spoon, I'm totally going to hurl!

Like stupid to completely stupid

Like cream filling to twinkies. Mmm... twinkies...

Like kryptonite to smart

Like Windows Me to productivity

I have put my suggestion in... (Below threshold)

I have put my suggestion in a picture. Click on my name to see it.

First-time poster - hi! He... (Below threshold)
Matt:

First-time poster - hi! Here's a few that I can think of at the moment...

Like lemmings to cliffs?

Like cholesterol to arteries?

Like a vulture to a carcass? (Oh wait, thats DailyKos. They all tend to run together after a while. Can we do one for him too?)

Like snarky comments to an over-inflated sense of personal worth?

Like a call-girl to money. (Cruel? Yes. But what else do you call someone who acts at the behest of Soros?)

I'll ponder more over while I'm at work.

Like K-Y Jelly To Tr... (Below threshold)
LagunaDave:


Like K-Y Jelly To Truth

Like Shark Repellent to Reality

Like Armor-All to Ignorance

Like Sunscreen to Enlightenment

Like Viagra to Pricks

Like Fake to Accurate... (Below threshold)
Ted:

Like Fake to Accurate

Like stupid to stupid-peopl... (Below threshold)
Eric:

Like stupid to stupid-people

i like:BoDiddly's:... (Below threshold)
yankie:

i like:

BoDiddly's:

Oliver Willis:Like Cyanide To Intelligence

Oliver Willis: Like Miracle-Gro To Stupid

And Eric's

Like stupid to stupid-people

Like Mothership to Krispy K... (Below threshold)

Like Mothership to Krispy Kreme

Like Rubik's Cube to blind people

Like self-loathing, bought-and-paid-for, hysterical pain in the ass to the rest of us

Take heart, everyone: I no... (Below threshold)

Take heart, everyone: I noticed that Oliver's last ten posts or so are averaging only 2 or 3 comments each. People are catching on to his B.S. Plus, I checked his traffic stats and he is definitely trending downward.

Like dogs to vomit(s... (Below threshold)
Greg:

Like dogs to vomit
(see Proverbs 26:11)

By the way, shouldn't his slogan be "like kryptonite to stupidity?" It would still make no sense, but would at least be grammatically correct. Hmm, that suggests....

Like Oliver Willis to grammar

Like Quagmire To Quackmire<... (Below threshold)

Like Quagmire To Quackmire

How about:Like hon... (Below threshold)

How about:

Like honesty to liberal trolls.

Like George Soros to efficacy.

Like Theresa Kerry to sanity.

Like...hey! That's racist! (sorry, had to throw an actual Oliver Willis style quote in there)

Like methamphetamine to sch... (Below threshold)
d. Carter:

Like methamphetamine to schizophrenics.

Maybe we're not voting yet,... (Below threshold)
Bostonian:

Maybe we're not voting yet, but I vote for "Like driving to Cuba" by the evilwhiteguy.

Like Depends™ to Old People... (Below threshold)
DM:

Like Depends™ to Old People

"Like Kryptonite to Willis"... (Below threshold)
Ira:

"Like Kryptonite to Willis"
"Like Gravy to Sawdust"
"Like Swine to Perle"
"Like Thumbs-Down to Reality"
"Like Ducks to Quackery"
Note to Uncle Mikey - I once saw a blind person
do a Rubik's Cube that had Braille markings (ages ago on "60 Minutes" or some similar program.)

Like Lefties and Frogs' Ars... (Below threshold)
b C:

Like Lefties and Frogs' Arses to Watertight

Well, I might as well throw... (Below threshold)

Well, I might as well throw in some of my madeups:

1) Like Braile to a drive-up ATM Machine: It exists, but it's still totally pointless.

2) Like a Fur Coat to PETA

3) Like the KKK to Christianity: A bastardization and degredation of what orginially was a really good idea.

4) Like candles to Arsonphobics (people who fear fire)

Oh, and another one:<... (Below threshold)

Oh, and another one:

5) Like the ACLU to Democracy

Like Noise to Signal... (Below threshold)

Like Noise to Signal
Like Kryptonite to Reason
Like E to Potato
Like Bicycles to Fish
Like Shit to Shinola

I like Greg's "like dogs to... (Below threshold)
Amy:

I like Greg's "like dogs to vomit

This also recalls a great quote by Thoreau calling on reform in the corrupt, contemptable "media" of his time....essentially that those who rely upon them, "are like the dog that returns to its own vomit."

To me this is THE fitting image for the Lefty-loons who read and repeat their party's talking-points: a bunch of mutts licking up their own puke.

"Like a moonbat with his ow... (Below threshold)

"Like a moonbat with his own blog."

What, too literal?

Like Bill Clinton to a chee... (Below threshold)
mesablue:

Like Bill Clinton to a cheeseburger.

Speaking of cheeseburgers, has anyone seen a recent picture of Monica L. Yikes.

like lying to montel willia... (Below threshold)
merc:

like lying to montel williams.

Like boogers to a first gra... (Below threshold)
lunacy:

Like boogers to a first grader's finger.

Like hair to a tub drain.

Like muddy boots to a clean floor.

Like water to the wicked witch.

Like a popsicle to January.

Like salt to slugs.

BoDiddlyOliver Willi... (Below threshold)
Paul:

BoDiddly
Oliver Willis: Like Miracle-Gro To Stupid

stoj
Like Taking a Blind Man to IMAX

Marcus

LagunaDave
Like Armor-All to Ignorance

Laurence Simon once said:
Like Velcro to Stupid -- I liked that one

and mine of course

Like Kryptonite to reason (... (Below threshold)
Paul:

Like Kryptonite to reason (intelligence, thought, logic)

and <a href="http://wizbang... (Below threshold)
Paul:

and an oldie but a goodie:

Like a Hoover Self Propelled WindTunnel Bagless vacuum w/Easy-to-Use Flip-Top Lid to jelly donuts.

Like Preparation H to David... (Below threshold)
Mr. Snarky:

Like Preparation H to David Brock

Like a dildo to Hillary Clinton

Like a nose hair trimmer to John Kerry

Like Depends to Howard Dean

Like a dingleberry to George Soros

Like beer to hershey bars.<... (Below threshold)

Like beer to hershey bars.

Like Kerry to Cambodia<br /... (Below threshold)
Beck:

Like Kerry to Cambodia
Like Cookie Monster to cookies
Like a fish to a bicycle
Like vaseline to a lonely frustrated teenager

Like on, to, thre... (Below threshold)
m:

Like on, to, thre

Scott'slike sunlig... (Below threshold)
m:

Scott's

like sunlight to negatives

Good one.

Like Bush-love to Liberals.... (Below threshold)

Like Bush-love to Liberals...

like lakes to Ted...

like a real man to Liza...

and Democrats to red...

like objectivity to Moore...

like the Oval Office to Gore...

and like "is" is to Bill...

and so many more....

Like Arafat to the Middle E... (Below threshold)

Like Arafat to the Middle East peace process

Like an antidote to reason.... (Below threshold)
Pat:

Like an antidote to reason.

Like Dynamite to Truth<br /... (Below threshold)
AnonymousDrivel:

Like Dynamite to Truth
Like Alcohol to Sobriety
Like Dementia to Sanity

Like Rather to Bias... oops, forgot - supposed to be antagonistic.

Like Saddam to humanitarian... (Below threshold)

Like Saddam to humanitarianism
Like Michael Moore to tredmills
Like abortion to babies
Like Osama to peace

Like Crack Pipe to Stupid</... (Below threshold)
Rick:

Like Crack Pipe to Stupid

Like Slimfast to Ollie's di... (Below threshold)

Like Slimfast to Ollie's diet.

Like combs to his hair.

Like concussions to thinking.

Like Dean to winning.

Like Ted Kennedy to swimming.

Like Nancy Pelosi to beauty secrets.

Like Michael Moore to truth.

Like Ted Kennedy to intelligible speech.

Like Al Gore to gracious defeat.

Like Dan Rather to a grit-eatin', possum-chasin' day when the asphalt's hot enough to fry some cornpone.
(Note: if you understand most of that dimwit's aphorisms, it's time to up your medication)

Like buttholes to hot air.<... (Below threshold)

Like buttholes to hot air.

Like lucidity to potheads.

Like admantium to reason.


Worst attempts...

Like preaching to choir.
Like circles to jerks.
Like herpes to sexy.
Like Dan Rather to Truth.
Like bizarro to logic.


Like poopers to prisoners. ... (Below threshold)
McCain:

Like poopers to prisoners.

Greg:Like dogs to ... (Below threshold)
Mike:

Greg:

Like dogs to vomit
(see Proverbs 26:11)

______________

Ugh! You stole my thunder, man!

But Proverbs 26:11 makes a nice post-script -

"Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him. "

(boing)That should... (Below threshold)
Mike:

(boing)

That should be Proverbs 26:12.

(Like I should be trying to make sense at 12:45am)

Tugar noted that Steve at H... (Below threshold)

Tugar noted that Steve at Hog On Ice called used "Like Kryptonite To Cupid".

He was way ahead of this meme and did it on November 3.

And re Proverbs, I've got b... (Below threshold)

And re Proverbs, I've got better scripture for you to distinguish between Red and Blue staters:

A wise man's heart is at his right hand, but a fool's heart at his left. -- Ecclesiastes 10:2

...like poop in the punchbo... (Below threshold)
bobdog:

...like poop in the punchbowl...

Like a tractor beam to delu... (Below threshold)

Like a tractor beam to delusion.

Like a miraculous talking d... (Below threshold)
Jordan:

Like a miraculous talking deer that was taught speech by Michael Moore that's been fed by too many damned jackass tourists to a decked out Hummer H2 with floodlights(finally a laudable use for the damn things) and a wasted Charlton Heston behind the wheel.

<a href="http://www.watcher... (Below threshold)
I coined this one last year... (Below threshold)

I coined this one last year in someone's comments:

Like kryptonite to donuts

Like a penny to a billionai... (Below threshold)
rls:

Like a penny to a billionaire.

Like sunlight to a vampire.

Like a steak to a vegetarian.

Like sex to a prostitute.

Like a minnow to a shark.

Like Magnetite to Lipids<br... (Below threshold)

Like Magnetite to Lipids
Like Ipecac to Cupid

One I use a lot is 'Like Kr... (Below threshold)

One I use a lot is 'Like Krispy Kreme to Atkins'

Still appending? Well...</p... (Below threshold)
AnonymousDrivel:

Still appending? Well...

Like Troglodyte to Clever
Like Hemlock to Relevance
Like Poison to Pen
Like Headache to Thought
Like Lobotomy to Brain
Like Null to One (for those thinking binary)
Like Flatulence to Breeze (PG-rated version of Fart to Wind, too harsh)
Like Waste to Space (nah, too harsh)
Like Waist to Space (nah, too unfair)
Like Black to White (nah, too racial though the comparison is like contrarian wrong to right - again with the binary)

I'll agree with Krusty Krab... (Below threshold)

I'll agree with Krusty Krab (because I wrote it here on Friday) :)
Like smegma to a foreskin

Like "six pounds of shit" t... (Below threshold)
JD:

Like "six pounds of shit" to a "five pound bag".

Like a Screen door to a Sub... (Below threshold)
Jufray:

Like a Screen door to a Submarine.

Stolen from "The Venture Br... (Below threshold)

Stolen from "The Venture Bros."
Like cancer to a prostate.

Like Weight Watchers to Mic... (Below threshold)
Lee:

Like Weight Watchers to Michael Moore
Like common sense to a leftist
Like whiskey to a mormon
Like contraceptives to a catholic
Like psychotherapy to a Scientologist (obscure I know)
Like satan to jesus
Like democracy to north korea
Like rehab to Keith Richards

I'll repeat the one I out i... (Below threshold)
Dodd:

I'll repeat the one I out in the last thread:

Like flypaper to stupid.

Alternately:
Like flypaper to insipid.

I know I've missed the dead... (Below threshold)

I know I've missed the deadline. But here are some more:

"Like Tampax to Cranial Blood Flow"

"Like Ctrl-Alt-Delete to Common Sense"

"Like Oliver Willis to Political Analysis"

[Sorry, Oliver. You may not be a bad guy -- I don't know -- but you have earned the abuse many times over.]

Is this thing on? Hello?</... (Below threshold)
stoj:

Is this thing on? Hello?

Yeah, I'm late, but this on... (Below threshold)

Yeah, I'm late, but this one was too good to keep to myself:

"Like four race cards and a joker to a poker game."

!!MUST CREDIT MARK JAQUITH!! ;-)




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