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I just couldn't get past the headline.

Headline:

Navy to Commission *Attack* Submarine Jimmy Carter

Now there is a misnomer if ever there was one. -- Unless, of course, it was named after the attack rabbit.

Update: I see Chris Muir had the exact reaction I had:

day-by-day-02-16-2005.gif


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» Speed of Thought... linked with A Peanut Powered Sub?

» Chicon: The Other Red Menace linked with Fill in The Blank

» You Big Mouth, You! linked with Military: U.S.S. Carter

» Truth. Quante-fied. linked with Navy to Submerge Jimmy Carter

» Cranky Neocon linked with I Pity Our Service People...

» Bad Example linked with ON THE USS CARTER (AGAIN)

» Josh's Weblog linked with USS Swamp Rabbit

» Ipse Dixit linked with SSN-23

» Literal Barrage linked with Nicknaming The USS Jimmy Carter

» The LLama Butchers linked with Folks, we need to look at the big picture here

Comments (37)

Borrowing from a commenter ... (Below threshold)
Red Five:

Borrowing from a commenter on the Rott, "with all that inflation, will it be able to dive?"

I WARNED you, but did you l... (Below threshold)
arb:

I WARNED you, but did you listen to me?
Oh, no, you know, didn't you?
Oh, it's just a harmless little BUNNY, isn't it?

As I just wrote over at my ... (Below threshold)

As I just wrote over at my blog: If there's such a thing as poetic injustice the thing will probably run aground in the Iranian desert while looking for North Korean nuclear missile launchers. Why would the Navy tempt fate like this?!

What's next, the John Kerry... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

What's next, the John Kerry Veterans Adminstration Building? A new model deep sea diving suit called the Kennedy for the Navy?

MAN- you guys are brutal. <... (Below threshold)
Paul:

MAN- you guys are brutal.

So...What will Cli... (Below threshold)
Al:

So...

What will Clinton get?
Both submarine _and_ carrier seem out of place.

ain't that the truth.... (Below threshold)
firstbrokenangel:

ain't that the truth.

Cindy

How about the Clinton Cente... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

How about the Clinton Center For Ethics?

Actually, I think a Clinton... (Below threshold)
mcg:

Actually, I think a Clinton submarine is more appropriate. It is, after all, long and hard and full of seamen.

mcq: But it would alwasy ve... (Below threshold)
julie:

mcq: But it would alwasy veer off course by 30 degrees.

LMAO!! Off course...OMG!!... (Below threshold)

LMAO!! Off course...OMG!!

USS Wascally Wabbit?... (Below threshold)
mojo:

USS Wascally Wabbit?

I think the headline was si... (Below threshold)
LF:

I think the headline was simply inappropriately punctuated, perhaps by a vindictive typesetter, whose motives are known only to him. The headline should have read a little more like this:

Navy to Commission: "Attack! Submarine Jimmy Carter!"

As for Clinton, thanks mcq and julie (LOL). I wasn't sure if I had the nerve to say it.

A Clinton submarine wouldn'... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

A Clinton submarine wouldn't be practical, it could be detected from the surface. There'd be a stain in the water everyhwere it went.

What, did they decomission ... (Below threshold)
Ray Midge:

What, did they decomission the U.S.S. Malaise? Now there was a ship! Why I remember...

You guys are being too hars... (Below threshold)
Eric:

You guys are being too harsh.

After all, if there had been no Carter, there may not have been a Reagan.

Besides, Carter was a sub-mariner and a Canoe U grad. Personally I figure some cargo vessel would have been more appropriate, but what the heck.

The USS Jimmy Carter... (Below threshold)
rocketman:


The USS Jimmy Carter comes with some special features..

1. Tomahawk delivered leaflets saying "stop it, or we won't come after you"

2. Anti-dolphin radar (Can't hurt any creature en route to conflicts)

3. UN GPS Transmitter to allow our allies constant view of our position to aid in the mission

Maybe they should name a su... (Below threshold)
Terry:

Maybe they should name a submarine after Ted Kennedy, he's experienced at sinking things

I'm simply looking forwards... (Below threshold)
Brian:

I'm simply looking forwards to hearing what it's crew ultimately decides to nick-name it. We've had the Ike, and the Abe, I think the Wabbit is a very real possibility, but we'll have to see what the troops settle on themselves. What fun!

oh man I just couldn't stop... (Below threshold)

oh man I just couldn't stop laughing at this entire comment thread, my sides are hurting.

I suppose an ex-President w... (Below threshold)
Charles R. Williams:

I suppose an ex-President who served honorably is bound to get a ship named after him. How high in the pecking order is an attack submarine? Reagan will probably get an aircraft carrier.

Charles,Reagan alr... (Below threshold)
jack:

Charles,

Reagan already has an aircraft carrier named after him.

http://www.navsource.org/archives/02/76.htm

Scott Ott has us all beat a... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

Scott Ott has us all beat again in the humor department.
http://www.scrappleface.com/MT/archives/002070.html

Think about it. Other than ... (Below threshold)
Eric:

Think about it. Other than the officers, most of the folks serving aboard this ship will have been born since Carter was president.

God, I'm old.

Check out today's Day by Da... (Below threshold)
Cousin Dave:

Check out today's Day by Day...

"Stop saying that!"

Finally, something to defen... (Below threshold)

Finally, something to defend America from giant swimming rabbits.

Hats off to bullwinkle. I w... (Below threshold)
da sting ray:

Hats off to bullwinkle. I will cherish the 'Kennedy diving suit' for many a day.

They'll call her "BunBun".<... (Below threshold)
htom:

They'll call her "BunBun".

I agree....for Jimmy Carter... (Below threshold)
Thomas:

I agree....for Jimmy Carter to have a nuclear attack sub named after him is analogous to George W. Bush being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

The story is all wrong. Wha... (Below threshold)

The story is all wrong. What the Navy named after Carter was a submarine sandwich.

I'm sure it's crew, and tha... (Below threshold)
Ray Midge:

I'm sure it's crew, and that of it's sister ship, the U.S.S. Diminished Expectations, must be very proud indeed.

htom - To steal a name from... (Below threshold)

htom - To steal a name from "The Drew Carey Show," shouldn't that be "Commander BunBun?"

The U.S.S. Jimmy Carter... (Below threshold)
Ray Midge:

The U.S.S. Jimmy Carter

Fleet: Submarine
Class: Attack!
Squadron sub-type: Boycott!

(sorry, i can't let go of this gem.)

I was refering to BunBun, t... (Below threshold)
htom:

I was refering to BunBun, the homicidal, psychotic, switch-blade wielding mini-lop in the webcomic Sluggy Freelance at www.sluggy.com (aka Professor Bun, Captain Bun, Subject 38AD-3UN-5.)

"Time to die, Nerd-Boy!" *Ka-Klick!*

I suppose it is the first o... (Below threshold)

I suppose it is the first of it's kind in the Malaise class sub.

THANKS FOR ALL THE LAUGHS !... (Below threshold)
BR:

THANKS FOR ALL THE LAUGHS !!

Let's all whisper in Carter's left ear: "Not in my name, not in my name, I can't accept it, no, no, I'll ask the Navy to change the name, I want to be remembered as a peace maker, I don't want to be connected to a machine of war, not in my name..."

It should blend right in with all the other voices he's already hearing. Just get into his head, think like he would, it's what he wants anyway.

Let's save the poor future seamen from the embarrassment.

Not to toot my own horn or ... (Below threshold)

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but, well, toot-toot.

Suggested names:

* “the Billy Beer Can”
* “World’s First Nookyular Sub”
* “USS Impure Thoughts”
* “Submerged Habitat for Humanity”
* and, if there’s any justice in the world, “History’s Greatest Monster“




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