Collective pun-ishment: the winners (Wizbang)

Dang, I think I had more entries for this contest than I did for my "movie pitch" contest. I keep getting overwhelmed by my own success (or, rather, the creativity and perversity of Wizbang's readers).

Judging this one was too tough, so I'm going to dispense with the standard first - second - third ranking, and just give out special awards in the extended section. And it's only about half as long as it should be -- there were some truly outstanding entries. Go back and see for yourselves.

The IKEA Bookends Award goes to Eric, for pairing up "a squeal of teenage girls" with "a slouch of teenage boys."

The Oedipus Award For Horrifying Imagery Award goes to bullwinkle, for "a crack of plumbers."

The Running A Theme Into The Ground Award goes to Doug Stewart, who put way too much effort into coming up with "Collectives of geese are called different things based upon what they are doing: "flock" in general, "skein" in flight, "gaggle" when earthbound, etc. I hereby suggest a similar naming scheme for engineers (feel free to add to the list):
* When discussing tech specs of cars, computers or anything technical, they become a geeking of engineers.
* When quoting The Simpsons or Monty Python, they become a snort.
* When discussing their current management, they become a carping."

The Bowdler Award goes to spacemonkey, for "a [bleep] of censors."

spacemonkey also takes a Truth Is An Absolute Defense Award for "a felony of rappers."

Most Subtle Political Plug Award goes to Ray Midge, who contributed "a Bushel of democracies."

The Burn The Blasphemer Award goes to jmaster, for "a shiite load of Iranian terrorists."

jmaster also takes the L33T Props Award for "a pwned of geeks,"
and the Best Combination of Ethnic Slurs And Vulgarity Award for "an erection of Japanese politicians."

The In Vino Veritas Award goes to Kadnine, for "a gutter of drunks."

The Most Flagrant Suck-Up Award once again goes to Leopold Stotch, for "a Tea of Jays." McGehee was the Runner-up for "a Wizbang of great blogging."

The Laurence Simon Sick And Twisted Bastard Award goes to Julie, for "a handful of Onan." First Runner-Up was arb, who stole Ed McBain's "a snatch of hookers." Second Runner-up was Laurence Simon, for his "a burst of Palestinians.

And finally, the E. Nough Is E. Nough Award goes to McGehee for "a groan of puns."

I dunno if I'll have another contest next week... judging these things is HARD. And so is coming up with original ideas. Maybe I'll just find a picture to let people caption...

Nah. Nobody'd be interested in that.

Comments (10)

Oh, thank you. My mother wi... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by julie | March 11, 2005 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

julie:

Oh, thank you. My mother will be so proud!

Posted on March 11, 2005 09:28

Thanks for award, J!<... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Kadnine | March 11, 2005 10:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Kadnine:

Thanks for award, J!

Now I can annoy my wife by telling her, "It's a major award."

Posted on March 11, 2005 10:52

Thank you Mr. Tea.... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by jmaster | March 11, 2005 10:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

jmaster:

Thank you Mr. Tea.

I am most proud of my “Best Combination of Ethnic Slurs And Vulgarity Award”.

That description sums it up perfectly.

Posted on March 11, 2005 10:54

I came in second for an awa... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Laurence Simon | March 11, 2005 12:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Laurence Simon:

I came in second for an award named after me.

So Chaplinesque.

Posted on March 11, 2005 12:03

Actually, Lair, you came in... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Jay Tea | March 11, 2005 12:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Jay Tea:

Actually, Lair, you came in third.

Second was so jejeune.

Posted on March 11, 2005 12:37

MY post came in second, and... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by arb | March 11, 2005 2:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

arb:

MY post came in second, and I attributed the line to Mr. McBain in my original post. Stolen? Hardly.

And jejune?

Not interesting? Dull? Lacking maturity? Childish?

Why, I've never been so insulted in my life!

(Well, it's early yet...)

Posted on March 11, 2005 14:54

Oh, just twist the knife a ... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Laurence Simon | March 11, 2005 3:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Oh, just twist the knife a little more.

Posted on March 11, 2005 15:31

I only came in second for S... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by McGehee | March 11, 2005 5:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

McGehee:

I only came in second for Suck-Up? How will I ever live it down?

Posted on March 11, 2005 17:02

I think I've found my calli... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Leopold Stotch | March 12, 2005 11:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Leopold Stotch:

I think I've found my calling.

Posted on March 12, 2005 11:39

Your "snatch of hookers" fo... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by John Blake | March 14, 2005 6:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

John Blake:

Your "snatch of hookers" follows in ancient and honorable tradition... one I remember, dating from the 1930s, was "a flourish of strumpets". If not Dotty Parker, who?

Posted on March 14, 2005 18:08