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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Britney Spears poolside - March 2005


Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.


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Comments (56)

According to this article, ... (Below threshold)
PTG:

According to this article, if I lose more weight I'll be smaller target for deadly melanoma causing solar radiation.

I'm sorry Kevin, were you s... (Below threshold)
Paul:

I'm sorry Kevin, were you saying something?

Britney: "So...what's the l... (Below threshold)
Eric:

Britney: "So...what's the latest gossip about Britney Spears. I just love reading about Britney."

"Mmm...this looks intere... (Below threshold)

"Mmm...this looks interesting...'The Cheeto Diet For Dummies'...mmm...Cheetos..."

"Hmmm...this magazine says ... (Below threshold)
Insomniac:

"Hmmm...this magazine says I can lose weight by sitting on a lawn chair and reading this magazine..."

Whoever would have thought ... (Below threshold)
McTrip:

Whoever would have thought that a magazine about the Japanese parliament could be so interesting......

Less tar? Great taste? Why ... (Below threshold)

Less tar? Great taste? Why haven't I been smoking all this time?

ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ...snork... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

ZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ...snork...umppphhh....ZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZ

South Beach diet my ass! I... (Below threshold)
Mike:

South Beach diet my ass! I've been here 2 weeks and haven't lost a pound!

"Yuk -- who is that fat slu... (Below threshold)

"Yuk -- who is that fat slut with the cig in her mouth??? OMFG, it's ME!!!"

"Hmm...Dick Cheney....yummy... (Below threshold)

"Hmm...Dick Cheney....yummy.... Dammit, now I have to go change my bikini bottom."

"Hmmm. Where can I get one... (Below threshold)

"Hmmm. Where can I get one of those 'feeding tubes' I'm always hearing about?"

Britney discovers that her ... (Below threshold)
OneDrummer:

Britney discovers that her Spring Break one-nighter with Bill Clinton leaves her feeling hungover and a little bloated like she did growing up in the trailer back home...

"Kevin, you lying BASTARD! ... (Below threshold)
Rick13:

"Kevin, you lying BASTARD! I’ve looked through ton’s of these diet magazine’s and I can’t find one article that say’s swallowing will help me lose weight! ”

Say, miss, can I read over ... (Below threshold)
dchamil:

Say, miss, can I read over your shoulder?

Do these glasses make my as... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Do these glasses make my ass look big?

"Kirstie Alley was in 'Wrat... (Below threshold)
Salt Lick:

"Kirstie Alley was in 'Wrath of Khan?' Like, I've never even heard of them."

"Hay Kay-vun, thuh hint for... (Below threshold)

"Hay Kay-vun, thuh hint for five acrosst sayz, 'washed up skank...' Its two wurdz and starts wif B-R-I-T and endz wif E-A-R-S."

Hey Jay, bring me back a fi... (Below threshold)
Stan25:

Hey Jay, bring me back a fifth of Jack Daniels and a pack of Marlboros from the 7-11

Dooley: Damn you! You cause... (Below threshold)
Old Coot:

Dooley: Damn you! You caused another coffee spew....send money for cleanup.

Tragically, many Americans ... (Below threshold)

Tragically, many Americans could recognize Britney Spears from this test photograph, indicating that the nation requires more therapy.

Mark McGwire: "I ... (Below threshold)

Mark McGwire: "I knew I shouldn't have let Canseco inject me with those so-called steroids."

"Dee-ayt...Dee-yeht...Daiyt... (Below threshold)

"Dee-ayt...Dee-yeht...Daiyt....Deet....Dang, "Hooked on Phonics" didn't work for me at all!"

"I'm gonna need a bigger ma... (Below threshold)

"I'm gonna need a bigger magazine; my ass is STILL getting sunburned."

"Does this magazine make me... (Below threshold)

"Does this magazine make me look fat?"

"Is it my imagination, or a... (Below threshold)
Hanna:

"Is it my imagination, or are these magazines getting fatter...?"

Let's see, it says here the... (Below threshold)

Let's see, it says here they think I'm on a See Food Diet. Heh-heh. They're way off! I hate fishy stuff.

I sure hope that the diet t... (Below threshold)
Stan25:

I sure hope that the diet tips in this magazine work. I sure would hate to be on the beach and be called a whale.

Damned kabbalah didn't help... (Below threshold)

Damned kabbalah didn't help me get rid of 3 of my 4 chins.

Hmmm I wonder if there are ... (Below threshold)
Stan25:

Hmmm I wonder if there are any natural breast enhancement tips here.

Wow! If I do all of these d... (Below threshold)

Wow! If I do all of these diets at the same time in two months I'll look like one of the Olson Twins.

14 minutes 59 seconds, a... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

14 minutes 59 seconds, and counting

"So it says here that you'r... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

"So it says here that you're allowed to subtract the weight of implants from your overall weight. Cool! Easiest, diet, ever!"

"Hay, this here story looks... (Below threshold)

"Hay, this here story looks intrestin', "Debbie Gibson Diet Secrets".

JBX 37.58 -0.20, MCD 31.58 ... (Below threshold)
howard_dean_britney_spears_al_franken_love_triangle:

JBX 37.58 -0.20, MCD 31.58 +0.13, YUM 52.32 +1.72, DPZ 17.91 +0.22,... why did my broker say I need growth stocks when my butt is getting BIGGER!?!

Honey, does this bikini mak... (Below threshold)
Stan25:

Honey, does this bikini make me look fat?

[I hereby withhold my sugge... (Below threshold)
-S-:

[I hereby withhold my suggested caption because it is Good Friday, because I have limits to what I will and won't express, particularly publicly, and because I just can't bring myself to type out here what it is I'd guess Britney Spears might be musing about where diet and intake of calories is concerned regarding a certain trendy overweight publisher of trashy, trendy magazines that is well known for being crude in print and media about Britney Spears and whom Britney Spears is reasonable in responding in kind about....]

But, an alternative:<... (Below threshold)
-S-:

But, an alternative:

"Hey, look at THAT guy! I wonder how many calories HE is?"

"Here I thought this magazi... (Below threshold)
Hodink:

"Here I thought this magazine was about people who died! Everybody in here is fat and alive."

"Britney, it's your ass tha... (Below threshold)

"Britney, it's your ass that makes your ass look big. Have a marshmallow peep."


"What was it my mama said? ... (Below threshold)
KBiel:

"What was it my mama said? Something like 'You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but...', something. What was it? Oh well, I think I'll have another diet coke and a twinky."

"OK Kevin let's go over the... (Below threshold)

"OK Kevin let's go over the plan one more time. I'm going to 'accidentally' fall out of my top. Start checking Wizbang and see how long it takes for the pictures to show up. Is the stopwatch ready?"

"The things I'll do for a g... (Below threshold)

"The things I'll do for a guest shot on that stupid Kirstie Alley show!"

"Hmmm..I sure could go for ... (Below threshold)
dave:

"Hmmm..I sure could go for a little back-door action right about now."

I swear, next year it's bac... (Below threshold)

I swear, next year it's back to the top of the FHM List!

Gosh, I sure hope this new ... (Below threshold)
Dave:

Gosh, I sure hope this new diet works. My boobs are so big, I can barely hide them behind this magazine!

Reminds me of the time when... (Below threshold)
Anon:

Reminds me of the time when I bought a ballet video for exercise and fell asleep on the couch watching it.

Hey Dipshit, I would like a... (Below threshold)
Stan25:

Hey Dipshit, I would like a dozen oysters and a magumn of champagine

"wings . . . no wings . . .... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"wings . . . no wings . . . wings . . . no wings . . . wings . . . no wings . . . Gawd, keeping up on feminine hygiene products is such hard work."

Just add 10 million dollars... (Below threshold)
t. z.:

Just add 10 million dollars & 30 more pounds to get Rosanne Barr.....'bout right.

I'm not sure which is more ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

I'm not sure which is more pathetic, this picture or me still trying to think of captions for it.

(notice I haven't stopped trying yet)

The newstand, fresh out of ... (Below threshold)
Ray Midge:

The newstand, fresh out of Irony Monthly! and Things This I Ain't Never Tried, and by the Look of My Expanding Upper Thighs, You Should Know I Ain't About to Start In with Now Illustrated offered Ms. Spears a third option.

Gaah! I call do-overs.... (Below threshold)
Ray Midge:

Gaah! I call do-overs.

The newstand, fresh out of Irony Monthly! and Things I Ain't Never Tried, and by the Look of My Expanding Upper Thighs, You Should Know I Ain't About to Start In with Now Illustrated offered Ms. Spears a third choice.

Suddenly, it all comes toge... (Below threshold)
jmaster:

Suddenly, it all comes together in Britney’s head, as she discovers the recall notice for the condoms she bought at the Dollar General store.

Damn, I HATE these fall-out... (Below threshold)
Doug:

Damn, I HATE these fall-out advertisement cards....Wait,.... this one feels pretty good!

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.




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