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Quote Of The Day - 'Did You Ever Wonder..." Edition

"No, no, no, Mr. Rooney. The first rule is the witness never gets to ask any questions... even if he's a journalist."
Federal Judge Colleen McMahon, her head in her hands, admonishing CBS's Andy Rooney on the witness stand at the trial of the owner of a celebrity speakers bureau accused of bilking his customers of speakers fees. Even the oath was too taxing for Rooney, as this section of the story indicates.
Rooney, 86, entered the courtroom muttering, and he balked when asked to swear to tell "nothing but the truth, so help you God."

"I don't know about God," he said, taking the witness chair.

Pipe Down, Judge Tells Rooney [CBS]


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Comments (27)

Andy was funny, wry and ins... (Below threshold)
Jumbo:

Andy was funny, wry and insightful in the 70's on "60 Minutes." Then he became an acerbic "character" in the 80's. In the 90's he became an embarrassment, but we were too polite to talk about it, like the great aunt who forgot her underwear. By 2005 he's become a tiresomely bitter and disillusioned old fart who tries to seek out joy and happiness everywhere and kill it dead. I've heard far too much from and about him.

Awwww, come on, Andy Rooney... (Below threshold)
Omni:

Awwww, come on, Andy Rooney's a RIOT!! I don't always agree with him, but he usually cracks me up.

Well you gotta hand it to A... (Below threshold)

Well you gotta hand it to Andy --- 86 and not knowing about God, he's sure preparing for the end with due diligence.

Andy Rooney is the crabby o... (Below threshold)
Just Me:

Andy Rooney is the crabby old man that all the neighborhood kids are scared of.

And I thought curmudgeondry... (Below threshold)
epador:

And I thought curmudgeondry was dead...

Good for him, refusing to i... (Below threshold)
andy:

Good for him, refusing to invoke the name of someone else's deity in which he doesn't believe.

However, I do agree with the others who say Rooney just isn't very funny.

Sorry, Andy, but they have ... (Below threshold)
julie:

Sorry, Andy, but they have alternative oaths they can give if requested. Instead, Rooney chose to be disrespectful towards other people's beliefs and the court.

Oh, wait. You're Andy the O... (Below threshold)
julie:

Oh, wait. You're Andy the Oozer. You're both jerks.

"Instead, Rooney chose to ... (Below threshold)
Jumbo:

"Instead, Rooney chose to be disrespectful towards other people's beliefs and the court"

Julie nailed it. I'll bet my tv remote that this was not Andy Rooney's first trip to the witness stand. Anybody who is likely to take the witness stand in federal court knows that it is a simple matter to "affirm" your testimony. Rooney wanted to be more than disrespectful, he wanted to show the same passive-aggressive contempt for the way we do things in America that he has displayed for the past 20 years. Otherwise he would have merely said "I affirm" and moved his snide, faux-Will-Rogers ass on.

epador beat me to it - curm... (Below threshold)

epador beat me to it - curmudgeon was the term I was going to apply.

Andy is the poster boy for ... (Below threshold)

Andy is the poster boy for senility. He lost his mind a decade ago, but CBS found that he was living in a broom closet off the studio, so they couldn't fire him, since he really had no place else to go.

As the Brits say: he's past... (Below threshold)

As the Brits say: he's past it.

I'm sure with the attitude ... (Below threshold)

I'm sure with the attitude Andy Rooney has, a lot of people have already figured out where he's going to be going....

'Nuff said.

Oh, wait. You're Andy th... (Below threshold)
andy:

Oh, wait. You're Andy the Oozer. You're both jerks

Sigh, Julie - are you still hanging on to Paul's made up definition and his phantom ideological enemies who hold it to be true?

Now, granted, I can be a jerk - but you're an idiot, and I can change.

No, andy, I could care less... (Below threshold)
julie:

No, andy, I could care less about any ideology.

What I don't like is you and the gang of other whiny babies doing nothing day after day except whine how Paul criticized evolution! Paul picked on me! Paul eats babies! It reached the point of an ugly obsession a while ago. It controls your lives.

You attack him. You attack Wizbang. Why you are here posting beats me since you, et al, think this is such a vile place.

You're little shits that go behind someones back trying to get them fired. There is nothing that distinguishes you except that you are part of a mob. And no, you can't change. You'll always be a follower.

No, andy, I could care l... (Below threshold)
andy:

No, andy, I could care less about any ideology.

Actually, I think you meant "couldn't."

What I don't like is you and the gang of other whiny babies doing nothing day after day except whine how Paul criticized evolution!

But, you see, Julie, he didn't criticize evolution. He erected a strawman definition of it and then challenged it. He then denied doing so and engaged in other tactics such as moving the goalposts and deleted comments.

Now, perhaps you're a victim of MTV and have the attention span of a very mentally disabled gnat, in which case all is forgiven.

Paul picked on me! Paul eats babies! It reached the point of an ugly obsession a while ago. It controls your lives.

Yup, I stay awake at night thinking about it. I dream about it. I can't function or even do my job! My wife and daughter go hungry because of it!

Trust me, blogging is a hobby, be it taking on general stupidity or individual stupidity.

You attack him. You attack Wizbang. Why you are here posting beats me since you, et al, think this is such a vile place.

I do? I don't believe I've ever said such a thing. I think you're trying to paint an image of the opposition that isn't true, simply so you can feel good about not liking them. Very emotionally mature, that.

You're little shits that go behind someones back trying to get them fired.

Now you're just making shit up and lying through your teeth.

There is nothing that distinguishes you except that you are part of a mob.

Actually, I'm intelligent, well-spoken, and have a sparkling wit. And my mom thinks I'm the bees knees too. I am someone, Julie. Really I am!

And no, you can't change. You'll always be a follower.

Well, thus spake ZaraJulie and that settles that.

Meanwhile, I get the impression you dry hump the sofa arm thinking about Paul. Shudder.

Andy's no follower. He's th... (Below threshold)

Andy's no follower. He's the Pied Piper of the Oozers and I'm following him down his slippery slope of Paul bashing. Pretty soon, we'll be praising Hitler, killing the elderly, chasing Paul through the woods with pitchforks and torches, and eating all the babies Paul doesn't get to first.

All Hail The Oozers!

But, you see, Julie, he ... (Below threshold)
julie:

But, you see, Julie, he didn't criticize evolution. He erected a strawman

Who gives a shit? You and the other geeks? Almost all of you were obnoxious as hell in the comments and then whined when you got it thrown back at you.

Now, perhaps you're a victim of MTV

Only a person who is a victim of MTV would write the above.

Yup, I stay awake at night thinking about it. I dream about it. I can't function or even do my job!

One only has to read the crap you and the mob are posting to verify that.

Trust me, blogging is a hobby, be it taking on general stupidity or individual stupidity.

Yes, we know: You are both stupid as an individual and stupid in general.

I do? I don't believe I've ever said such a thing. I think you're trying to paint an image of the opposition that isn't true,

Bullshit. You and the mob have been attacking this blog nonstop. Most can be written off as jealously, the rest has risen to the level of a group psychosis. I refuse to post links for obvious reasons. And, anyone who doesn't join your mob gets attacked.

Now you're just making shit up and lying through your teeth.

The hell I am. The members of your mob even posted about it.

Meanwhile, I get the impression you dry hump the sofa arm thinking about Paul. Shudder.

Don't confuse me with your wife. And I get the impression a sofa arm is the best sex she has ever had in her life. Poor woman. Shudder.

Andy's no follower. He's... (Below threshold)
julie:

Andy's no follower. He's the Pied Piper of the Oozers and I'm following him

So, what are you? The camp follower? No surprises there. I loved your comment the other week. It was classic, I'm not taking sides, but . . . Nothing like a comment that starts off so disingenuously.

Julie is proof that evoluti... (Below threshold)

Julie is proof that evolution is suspect.

"So, what are you? The camp... (Below threshold)

"So, what are you? The camp follower?"

I am the camp activity director. Today's activity is laughing and pointing at Julie.

Well done, campers!

Who gives a shit? You an... (Below threshold)
andy:

Who gives a shit? You and the other geeks?

Neat, ad hom right off the bat. If you define "geeks" as "people who care about science, the scientific method, and resent those who are willfully ignorant about it - oh, and Julie too" then guilty as charged, m'lady.

I'm sorry that intelligence intimidates you, while ignorance makes you all gooey wet.

Almost all of you were obnoxious as hell in the comments and then whined when you got it thrown back at you.

Nope, I don't mind a little mudslinging, at least so long as there's valid argumentation lumped in with it. Name calling for the sake of name calling is silly; name calling in pursuit of a higher truth is art!

Only a person who is a victim of MTV would write the above.

I can see that witty repartee is not your forte.

One only has to read the crap you and the mob are posting to verify that.

See above.

Yes, we know: You are both stupid as an individual and stupid in general.

Better, but only slightly. That was the obvious insulting counterpoint, where a true comedic talent would have gone for something more original.

I give it a 4 out of 10.

Bullshit. You and the mob have been attacking this blog nonstop.

I have? Granted, I make a joke here and there about Paul, but I would hardly call that "attacking the blog nonstop." Are you a right-wing Christian perchance? I ask because your PersecutionComplex-o-Meter is pinging hard.

Most can be written off as jealously, the rest has risen to the level of a group psychosis.

Jealousy of... errr... hmmm?

I suppose I'm actually just jealous of Kos because I secretly want to be a left-wing nutjob. I suppose I'm actually just jealous of Atrios for the same reason.

It can't possibly be that I'm not fan of willful ignorance in the face of reality (be it Kos' political views or Paul's rejection of science).

I refuse to post links for obvious reasons. And, anyone who doesn't join your mob gets attacked.

Hey, pumpkin, you started in on me. I'm just returning fire.

The hell I am. The members of your mob even posted about it.

My mob? Wait, I thought I was a follower and now I have my own mob? Consistency of thought also doesn't appear to be a strength, my dear Julie.

I've no more interest in having anyone lose their job than I have in watching you gyrate against Sean Hannity's face. That is to say: none.

Don't confuse me with your wife.

Don't worry, darling. My wife is lovely, talented, and sane. You fail on all three counts.

And I get the impression a sofa arm is the best sex she has ever had in her life. Poor woman. Shudder.

Stop by and find out sometime Julie. Do however bring the meds so I can get rid of the scabies with which you've left us.

Hugs and kisses.

Gosh, I just love a ... (Below threshold)
Michael:

Gosh, I just love a good catfight.

I ask because your Perse... (Below threshold)
Michael:

I ask because your PersecutionComplex-o-Meter is pinging hard.

LOL

Focus, people...focus!... (Below threshold)

Focus, people...focus!

We're supposed to be tossing rotten tomatoes and horse offal at Andy Rooney, not at each other.

Let's get it together now, folks, and get back to heaping scorn and derision on Andy Rooney for his mountbankery or senility or hell-bounditude or whatever.

Can't we all just gang up together?

Jesus, Julie! Calm down! Ch... (Below threshold)
Foster:

Jesus, Julie! Calm down! Chill-ax! Listen to some Marley! They're just geeks in pajamas! With, you know. . . logic! And facts! Now since when has reason ever bothered religious folks like yourself?

And since when do good Christian women like yourself accuse another woman of having sex with furniture? In Biblical times you and her would be ripe for a public stoning.

Andy, have you given any thought what you'd like to call your mob?

Wow! It has been awhile sin... (Below threshold)

Wow! It has been awhile since I took a look at the comment section. Not to belittle the fine bloggers here but that cat fight was better than anything Ive seen posted all day. thank you. really, I mean it.




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