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New Wizbang midweek contest -- getting down in the gutters

Posted by Jay Tea
Published: April 13, 2005 - 6:27 AM

OK, it's not Tuesday any more (except in a couple time zones well west of here), but I'm gonna toss up the latest Wizbang Midweek Contest. This week, we're looking for the dirtiest-sounding words or phrases that are really utterly innocent. And as is my wont, I'm gonna toss out a few examples to steal away some of the better entries:

Kumquat
Angina
Touchhole/Bunghole
Penal System
Cold Enough To Freeze The Balls Off A Brass Monkey
Shooting Your Wad

Remember, it's gotta SOUND dirty, but it can't actually BE dirty or have a raunchy origin. And winners oughta be (notice I don't say "will") announced Thursday evening.

J.

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Comments (110)

Uranus (OMG that is soooooo... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Maggie | April 13, 2005 7:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maggie:

Uranus (OMG that is soooooo old)

1. Posted by Maggie | April 13, 2005 7:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:13

I'll throw in:Balls ... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Kin | April 13, 2005 7:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kin:

I'll throw in:
Balls to the wall.
Meaning to go all out. The origin of which is arguably in either aeronautics or railroad when throttles had ball shaped heads and to go full speed meant pushing the throttle as far forward as it would go...that is against the walls.

2. Posted by Kin | April 13, 2005 7:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:21

Ooo...of course you could a... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Kin | April 13, 2005 7:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kin:

Ooo...of course you could add half-cocked and in the pink.

3. Posted by Kin | April 13, 2005 7:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:27

PenuryPenal colony<b... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Ian Hamet | April 13, 2005 7:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ian Hamet:

Penury
Penal colony
Fartlek
Titmouse
Wankel Rotary Engine (courtesy of Monty Python)

4. Posted by Ian Hamet | April 13, 2005 7:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:29

Laying pipeBallCocks... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Faith+1 | April 13, 2005 7:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

Laying pipe
BallCocks

5. Posted by Faith+1 | April 13, 2005 7:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:30

dinghymasticate an... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Faith+1 | April 13, 2005 7:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

dinghy

masticate and it's derivatives, mastication and masticator.

Nutcracker

May not be but since my mind is generally in the gutter I think "pianist" fits this category.

Titicaca - a lake in Peru.

6. Posted by Faith+1 | April 13, 2005 7:35 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:35

OK, so I have a thing about... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by epador | April 13, 2005 7:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
epador:

OK, so I have a thing about the oldest profession:

Trollopian - refers to admirers/followers of specific writer(s), not ladies of the night

Trick-madam - edible plant

7. Posted by epador | April 13, 2005 7:35 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:35

Tit for Tat...based ... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Kin | April 13, 2005 7:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kin:

Tit for Tat...
based on the German Dir fur Dat

8. Posted by Kin | April 13, 2005 7:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:42

The load goes there.... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by EdWonk | April 13, 2005 7:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
EdWonk:

The load goes there.

9. Posted by EdWonk | April 13, 2005 7:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:43

Hmmm...bit of research has ... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Kin | April 13, 2005 7:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kin:

Hmmm...bit of research has turned up these good ones...
Canonical Erection
Fornical
Hoary
Ulva
Vagile

10. Posted by Kin | April 13, 2005 7:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:48

Bushmaster snake... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Maggie | April 13, 2005 7:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maggie:

Bushmaster snake

11. Posted by Maggie | April 13, 2005 7:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:51

Spotted Dick (British Desse... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by oceanguy | April 13, 2005 7:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
oceanguy:

Spotted Dick (British Dessert)
Lickety Split
Volvo
uvula
coxswain
Bag o' Nuts
Honey Hole
Pole Sitter
Sextant

12. Posted by oceanguy | April 13, 2005 7:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:51

Bush HogShuttlecock<... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by oceanguy | April 13, 2005 7:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
oceanguy:

Bush Hog
Shuttlecock
Lancet
shitz-hu
cock-a-poo

13. Posted by oceanguy | April 13, 2005 7:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:57

Cocktail... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Kristian | April 13, 2005 7:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kristian:

Cocktail

14. Posted by Kristian | April 13, 2005 7:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:58

Hump Day!! btw..I'... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Denise | April 13, 2005 7:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Denise:

Hump Day!!

btw..I'm new to your site and it rocks!! :-)

15. Posted by Denise | April 13, 2005 7:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 07:59

WizBang... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Remy Logan | April 13, 2005 8:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Remy Logan:

WizBang

16. Posted by Remy Logan | April 13, 2005 8:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 08:40

niggardly.... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by steve sturm | April 13, 2005 8:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
steve sturm:

niggardly.

17. Posted by steve sturm | April 13, 2005 8:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 08:43

Hindrocket and the Trunk</p... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Remy Logan | April 13, 2005 8:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Remy Logan:

Hindrocket and the Trunk

Who, alas, have gone legit and now insist on using their given names. For months I thought they were gay Republicans. I wasn't the only one, they eventually wrote a post about it.

18. Posted by Remy Logan | April 13, 2005 8:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 08:47

Damn, someone "beat me" to ... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by dodgeman | April 13, 2005 8:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
dodgeman:

Damn, someone "beat me" to "Lake Titicaca".

19. Posted by dodgeman | April 13, 2005 8:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 08:50

Bangkok... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Dave A. | April 13, 2005 8:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave A.:

Bangkok

20. Posted by Dave A. | April 13, 2005 8:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 08:59

"Subduction causes orogeny.... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by BLT in CO | April 13, 2005 9:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BLT in CO:

"Subduction causes orogeny."

(Plate tectonics cause mountains to form)

21. Posted by BLT in CO | April 13, 2005 9:01 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:01

For "fun-sounding words, ho... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by BoDiddly | April 13, 2005 9:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BoDiddly:

For "fun-sounding words, how about:
petcock
thespian
asinine
goober
Shiite
dicker
blowhole

A few things got unfortunate names, like the test for scarlet fever named for its inventors: the Dick test.

We can't forget that some of the words counted as "dirty" now weren't a century ago. "Faggot" used to mean a bundle of sticks, and "thongs" were a type of shoes (now bearing the infinitely inferior moniker, "flip-flops")

There are a couple of words in the Bible I've always liked, like the ever-popular construction
product "shittim wood."

The PC-Police over at the DMV wouldn't let my brother get a vanity plate with "Kraut" on it, even though that's his last name.

And we can't forget the hullabaloo over the proper use of the word "niggardly."

But my favorite, of course has to be:
MEECROB

22. Posted by BoDiddly | April 13, 2005 9:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:03

"Dick Army"!Come o... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Rick13 | April 13, 2005 9:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rick13:

"Dick Army"!

Come on, it just sounds dirty and scary at the same time!

23. Posted by Rick13 | April 13, 2005 9:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:04

fuchsiauvulaM... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Sean Gleeson | April 13, 2005 9:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sean Gleeson:

fuchsia
uvula
Middlesex
assoile
niggardly
formication
fucus
titubation
tittilate
cumquat
penal
public
vacuole
usufruct

24. Posted by Sean Gleeson | April 13, 2005 9:08 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:08

Dick Butkis. Former NFL fo... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by schwerv | April 13, 2005 9:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
schwerv:

Dick Butkis. Former NFL football player

25. Posted by schwerv | April 13, 2005 9:08 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:08

peter outpipe nipple... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Dave A. | April 13, 2005 9:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave A.:

peter out
pipe nipple
matriculate

26. Posted by Dave A. | April 13, 2005 9:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:09

Dick Trickle. Former NASCA... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by schwerv | April 13, 2005 9:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
schwerv:

Dick Trickle. Former NASCAR Driver

27. Posted by schwerv | April 13, 2005 9:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:10

Pipe Pigging(The pro... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Poolman | April 13, 2005 9:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Poolman:

Pipe Pigging
(The process whereby a mechanical tool is dropped into an empty pipeline, and checks for leaks, corrosion, etc.)

28. Posted by Poolman | April 13, 2005 9:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:31

Goldenrod... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Bruce | April 13, 2005 9:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bruce:

Goldenrod

29. Posted by Bruce | April 13, 2005 9:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:34

Woodpecker... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Bruce | April 13, 2005 9:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bruce:

Woodpecker

30. Posted by Bruce | April 13, 2005 9:35 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:35

I think Letterman did this ... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Dignan | April 13, 2005 9:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dignan:

I think Letterman did this years ago....my favorite was:
"Windsurfing Mt. Baldy"

31. Posted by Dignan | April 13, 2005 9:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:38

I already submitted my entr... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by Sean Gleeson | April 13, 2005 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sean Gleeson:

I already submitted my entry, but I'd like to take this opportunity to thank The Royal Tit-Watching (Ornithological) Society of Britain.

32. Posted by Sean Gleeson | April 13, 2005 9:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:43

An oldie but a goodie...coc... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Deliverance | April 13, 2005 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Deliverance:

An oldie but a goodie...cockpit.

33. Posted by Deliverance | April 13, 2005 9:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:43

master debatorswallo... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Kadnine | April 13, 2005 9:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kadnine:

master debator
swallow
stickball
PowerGen Italia.com (can't take credit, but this one from the last contest still cracks me up.)

34. Posted by Kadnine | April 13, 2005 9:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:48

cornholder... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Laurence Simon | April 13, 2005 9:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

cornholder

35. Posted by Laurence Simon | April 13, 2005 9:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:54

mensurationhas to ... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Larry | April 13, 2005 9:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Larry:

mensuration

has to do with geometry formulas...

36. Posted by Larry | April 13, 2005 9:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 09:54

Cunning Linguist... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by jim | April 13, 2005 10:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jim:

Cunning Linguist

37. Posted by jim | April 13, 2005 10:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 10:16

Gotcha by the ball-joints. ... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Faxhorn | April 13, 2005 10:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faxhorn:

Gotcha by the ball-joints.

38. Posted by Faxhorn | April 13, 2005 10:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 10:26

cock fighting... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Faith+1 | April 13, 2005 10:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

cock fighting

39. Posted by Faith+1 | April 13, 2005 10:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 10:31

Outbuildings.(Thin... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by McGehee | April 13, 2005 10:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

Outbuildings.

(Think about it.)

40. Posted by McGehee | April 13, 2005 10:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 10:34

There is a verb "fard" whic... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by OregonMuse | April 13, 2005 10:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OregonMuse:

There is a verb "fard" which means "to apply make-up."
Rush Limbaugh used to mock-complain about women farding in their cars on the way to work...

41. Posted by OregonMuse | April 13, 2005 10:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 13, 2005 10:36

wow no one has this one yet... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by Henry | April 13, 2005 10:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Henry:

wow no one has this one yet? holy crap it was the lamest joke when i was a kid

"mastacate" - to chew

hey how often do YOU mastacate?
hahaha you moron you mastacate at least 3 times a day.

42. Posted by Henry | April 13, 2005 10:41 AM | Vote up Vote down