« Quote Of The Day - Energizing The Troops Edition | Main | All your space are belong to us »

New Wizbang midweek contest -- getting down in the gutters

OK, it's not Tuesday any more (except in a couple time zones well west of here), but I'm gonna toss up the latest Wizbang Midweek Contest. This week, we're looking for the dirtiest-sounding words or phrases that are really utterly innocent. And as is my wont, I'm gonna toss out a few examples to steal away some of the better entries:

Kumquat
Angina
Touchhole/Bunghole
Penal System
Cold Enough To Freeze The Balls Off A Brass Monkey
Shooting Your Wad

Remember, it's gotta SOUND dirty, but it can't actually BE dirty or have a raunchy origin. And winners oughta be (notice I don't say "will") announced Thursday evening.

J.


Comments (110)

Uranus (OMG that is soooooo... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

Uranus (OMG that is soooooo old)

I'll throw in:Balls ... (Below threshold)
Kin:

I'll throw in:
Balls to the wall.
Meaning to go all out. The origin of which is arguably in either aeronautics or railroad when throttles had ball shaped heads and to go full speed meant pushing the throttle as far forward as it would go...that is against the walls.

Ooo...of course you could a... (Below threshold)
Kin:

Ooo...of course you could add half-cocked and in the pink.

PenuryPenal colony<b... (Below threshold)

Penury
Penal colony
Fartlek
Titmouse
Wankel Rotary Engine (courtesy of Monty Python)

Laying pipeBallCocks... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Laying pipe
BallCocks

dinghymasticate an... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

dinghy

masticate and it's derivatives, mastication and masticator.

Nutcracker

May not be but since my mind is generally in the gutter I think "pianist" fits this category.

Titicaca - a lake in Peru.

OK, so I have a thing about... (Below threshold)
epador:

OK, so I have a thing about the oldest profession:

Trollopian - refers to admirers/followers of specific writer(s), not ladies of the night

Trick-madam - edible plant

Tit for Tat...based ... (Below threshold)
Kin:

Tit for Tat...
based on the German Dir fur Dat

The load goes there.... (Below threshold)

The load goes there.

Hmmm...bit of research has ... (Below threshold)
Kin:

Hmmm...bit of research has turned up these good ones...
Canonical Erection
Fornical
Hoary
Ulva
Vagile

Bushmaster snake... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

Bushmaster snake

Spotted Dick (British Desse... (Below threshold)

Spotted Dick (British Dessert)
Lickety Split
Volvo
uvula
coxswain
Bag o' Nuts
Honey Hole
Pole Sitter
Sextant

Bush HogShuttlecock<... (Below threshold)

Bush Hog
Shuttlecock
Lancet
shitz-hu
cock-a-poo

Cocktail... (Below threshold)
Kristian:

Cocktail

Hump Day!! btw..I'... (Below threshold)
Denise:

Hump Day!!

btw..I'm new to your site and it rocks!! :-)

WizBang... (Below threshold)

WizBang

niggardly.... (Below threshold)

niggardly.

Hindrocket and the Trunk</p... (Below threshold)

Hindrocket and the Trunk

Who, alas, have gone legit and now insist on using their given names. For months I thought they were gay Republicans. I wasn't the only one, they eventually wrote a post about it.

Damn, someone "beat me" to ... (Below threshold)
dodgeman:

Damn, someone "beat me" to "Lake Titicaca".

Bangkok... (Below threshold)
Dave A.:

Bangkok

"Subduction causes orogeny.... (Below threshold)
BLT in CO:

"Subduction causes orogeny."

(Plate tectonics cause mountains to form)

For "fun-sounding words, ho... (Below threshold)

For "fun-sounding words, how about:
petcock
thespian
asinine
goober
Shiite
dicker
blowhole

A few things got unfortunate names, like the test for scarlet fever named for its inventors: the Dick test.

We can't forget that some of the words counted as "dirty" now weren't a century ago. "Faggot" used to mean a bundle of sticks, and "thongs" were a type of shoes (now bearing the infinitely inferior moniker, "flip-flops")

There are a couple of words in the Bible I've always liked, like the ever-popular construction
product "shittim wood."

The PC-Police over at the DMV wouldn't let my brother get a vanity plate with "Kraut" on it, even though that's his last name.

And we can't forget the hullabaloo over the proper use of the word "niggardly."

But my favorite, of course has to be:
MEECROB

"Dick Army"!Come o... (Below threshold)
Rick13:

"Dick Army"!

Come on, it just sounds dirty and scary at the same time!

fuchsiauvulaM... (Below threshold)

fuchsia
uvula
Middlesex
assoile
niggardly
formication
fucus
titubation
tittilate
cumquat
penal
public
vacuole
usufruct

Dick Butkis. Former NFL fo... (Below threshold)
schwerv:

Dick Butkis. Former NFL football player

peter outpipe nipple... (Below threshold)
Dave A.:

peter out
pipe nipple
matriculate

Dick Trickle. Former NASCA... (Below threshold)
schwerv:

Dick Trickle. Former NASCAR Driver

Pipe Pigging(The pro... (Below threshold)
Poolman:

Pipe Pigging
(The process whereby a mechanical tool is dropped into an empty pipeline, and checks for leaks, corrosion, etc.)

Goldenrod... (Below threshold)

Goldenrod

Woodpecker... (Below threshold)

Woodpecker

I think Letterman did this ... (Below threshold)

I think Letterman did this years ago....my favorite was:
"Windsurfing Mt. Baldy"

I already submitted my entr... (Below threshold)

I already submitted my entry, but I'd like to take this opportunity to thank The Royal Tit-Watching (Ornithological) Society of Britain.

An oldie but a goodie...coc... (Below threshold)

An oldie but a goodie...cockpit.

master debatorswallo... (Below threshold)

master debator
swallow
stickball
PowerGen Italia.com (can't take credit, but this one from the last contest still cracks me up.)

cornholder... (Below threshold)

cornholder

mensurationhas to ... (Below threshold)

mensuration

has to do with geometry formulas...

Cunning Linguist... (Below threshold)
jim:

Cunning Linguist

Gotcha by the ball-joints. ... (Below threshold)
Faxhorn:

Gotcha by the ball-joints.

cock fighting... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

cock fighting

Outbuildings.(Thin... (Below threshold)

Outbuildings.

(Think about it.)

There is a verb "fard" whic... (Below threshold)
OregonMuse:

There is a verb "fard" which means "to apply make-up."
Rush Limbaugh used to mock-complain about women farding in their cars on the way to work...

wow no one has this one yet... (Below threshold)

wow no one has this one yet? holy crap it was the lamest joke when i was a kid

"mastacate" - to chew

hey how often do YOU mastacate?
hahaha you moron you mastacate at least 3 times a day.

'Philately' as in "fathers ... (Below threshold)

'Philately' as in "fathers and sons engaging in philately together."

Oh, and don't forget 'Dick Butkus'.

<a href="http://www.m-w.com... (Below threshold)

frigorific, dude

rump-fed runyonShake... (Below threshold)
PTG:

rump-fed runyon
Shakespeare

hump - forced march or hike... (Below threshold)
Robb:

hump - forced march or hike with full packs, usually attributed to those in the military
Ex. During boot camp, we had to hump for miles.

<a href="http://www.m-w.com... (Below threshold)
ClusterChuck:

Snatch Block

It was a piece of equipment that came with many of the Army's trucks. Worked well with a winch (wench? heh, heh).

I called it a chastity belt as a joke.

black-balled - A negative v... (Below threshold)
Robb:

black-balled - A negative vote, especially one that blocks the admission of an applicant to an organization
-sounds like a naughty movie title

shag -
-was the name of a haircut style when i was younger. Thanks Austin Powers.

DSL's - Digital Subscriber Line
-slang for "d#[email protected] sucking lips"

beaver - you know

kitty - see beaver

Sorry, keep thinking of mor... (Below threshold)
Robb:

Sorry, keep thinking of more---

pigeon-holed

The Glory Hole - in Lake Berryessa, CA. A non-regulated spillway in the lake behind the Monticello dam
- link - http://www.trophybassonly.com/id56.htm

filibuster
cock o' the walk
poker - "poke her"???
blowing one's own horn

Betwixt the Devil and the D... (Below threshold)
Outlaw_Wizard:

Betwixt the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.

The Devil being the seam closest to the waterline...

Da_Wiz Sends

From the world of weightlif... (Below threshold)
Loon:

From the world of weightlifting : snatch and jerk

How about the character nam... (Below threshold)
Old Coot:

How about the character named "Tigger" in the Winnie the Pooh series?

From the world of rowing an... (Below threshold)
Loon:

From the world of rowing and boating :

oars

punt pole

rollocks

From the world of ice hocke... (Below threshold)
Loon:

From the world of ice hockey and Shakespeare : puck

From the world of sports ge... (Below threshold)
Loon:

From the world of sports generally : coming from behind

From the world of bar room ... (Below threshold)
Loon:

From the world of bar room etiquette : to push in his [her] stool for him [her].........

From the world of tough pla... (Below threshold)
Loon:

From the world of tough places and tougher choices [or else a day of gastric 'flu] : caught between two stools....

From the world of Osama bin... (Below threshold)
Loon:

From the world of Osama bin Laden's solitude :

A pig in a poke.......[any pig will do]

I'll probably do purgatory ... (Below threshold)
Rob:

I'll probably do purgatory time for submitting this; but, ....

Penal Beads

Penal Beads are a rosary chaplet (one decade) used in prisons where the full rosary isn't permitted for security reasons. Originated in Ireland when the Brits outlawed most Catholic items.

Tits on baconCathous... (Below threshold)
Stan25:

Tits on bacon
Cathouse
Bald as cueball
Blue balls

ululatejactitation... (Below threshold)
D. Carter:

ululate

jactitation (a sudden movement, e.g., when you're about to drop off to sleep, and your leg jerks).

Bushtit... (Below threshold)
McCain:

Bushtit

peckerhead (part on ... (Below threshold)

peckerhead
(part on an electric motor)

Pile-Driver! Or is piledriv... (Below threshold)
biker babe:

Pile-Driver! Or is piledriver?

Colder than a witches' tit in a brass bra at the bottom of a well in January.

Colder than a welldiggers' ass.

Hotter than the hubs of Hannah.

My husband does computer pr... (Below threshold)

My husband does computer programming for the education department at the university and there's a project in there called "The Education Repository." Every time I see it, I can't help but think about them rolling up a textbook and sticking it where the sun don't shine...

prickly heatprig<br ... (Below threshold)
john richburg:

prickly heat
prig
titalate
tit mouse
booby hatch
nippy
pussy willow
jiggly
ramrod

"wow no one has this one ye... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

"wow no one has this one yet? holy crap it was the lamest joke when i was a kid

"mastacate" - to chew

hey how often do YOU mastacate?
hahaha you moron you mastacate at least 3 times a day."

Ummm, I pointed it out along with masitcation about 30 posts before yours.

Legal - "Have you seen her ... (Below threshold)

Legal - "Have you seen her briefs"
Legal - "He's a hard judge"
Legal - "For $200 an hour, he/she better be good!"
Legal - "Think you can get me off?"

Golf - "Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more"
Golf - "Hold on, I need to clean my balls"

Business - "It's not fair, I do all the work, and he/she just sits there."

Slippery Dick, the fish.</p... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

Slippery Dick, the fish.

http://www.enature.com/fieldguide/showSpeciesSH.asp?curGroupID=3&shapeID=1004&curPageNum=2&recnum=FI0214

Once when snorkeling on the reef here a slippery dick found a comfy home in the ample bosom of bullwinklette and hitched a ride for about thrity minutes.

Boy did we ever have a laug... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

Boy did we ever have a laugh when we got back and found out what that fish was called in the reef fish identification book.

foreskinAs in "I o... (Below threshold)
Clash City Rocker:

foreskin

As in "I once had a foreskin wallet, when I rubbed it, it became a piece of luggage."

Do people's names count? I... (Below threshold)
OregonMuse:

Do people's names count? If so, you've gotta love that Bosnian woman basketball player who moved to America to play for the Charlotte team. Her name?


Ivana Mandic.

(giggle! snort!)

dongleFrench Lick, I... (Below threshold)

dongle
French Lick, IN
Aei Lingus (airline)
foccaacia
pianist
seaman
homo erectus
bishopric
fallacious
cuneiform
seminal
poop deck
Boston Butt
Pulled Pork
Pork Loin

When my 13 year old daughte... (Below threshold)
David Eccles:

When my 13 year old daughter was 7, she and I were having a conversation about getting a kitten.

She became so excited, she went into the utility closet, grabbed a broom, and began marching around the house thrusting the broom up and down and shouting "PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY, CAT CAT CAT."

After I recovered from the pepsi blowing out my nose from laughing so hard, I finally calmed down enough to tell my wife about it. Ever since, it's been a private joke between my wife and I.

Come to Wisconsin and smell... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Come to Wisconsin and smell our dairy air.

We once accused a girl of masticating in public. She denied it.

Eat a beaver, save a tree.<... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Eat a beaver, save a tree.

Blowing the Chofur <p... (Below threshold)
CrankyOldConservative:

Blowing the Chofur

(This is what our Jewish brethren do on Yom Kippur I believe; though it sounds like what Paris Hilton might have to do when she loses her wallet.)

Cock-a-doodle-do!... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

Cock-a-doodle-do!

"Hold my naked mole rat, bo... (Below threshold)
Wes:

"Hold my naked mole rat, boys. I'm going in."

-quote from episode of Disney's "Kim Possible"

acerosecoccyx... (Below threshold)
SA:

acerose

coccyx

dongle

futtock

puckfist


Nomenclature:

Harry Johnson

John Astor

sorry faith+1 i must have m... (Below threshold)

sorry faith+1 i must have missed it

from engines, both diesel + steam:
thrust
cylinder
piston
lube
jerk pump
crank arm
drain plug
surface blow
bottom blow
blowing tubes

Bill O'Reilly says no blovi... (Below threshold)

Bill O'Reilly says no bloviating - it's his job!

At Notre Dame, every year i... (Below threshold)

At Notre Dame, every year is held the largest basketball tournament in the world. Nearly every student and faculty member plays. Every year the student newspaper publishes the best names. If you wind up playing "Team 342" that means the team name was censored by the school.

The best name for a basketball team I've ever heard:

Popeye and his Dribbling Seamen.

It got censored.

This was indeed a Letterman... (Below threshold)

This was indeed a Letterman top 10 list a while ago.

My favorite was "Shaking hands with Abraham Lincoln".

myocardial infarction... (Below threshold)
biker babe:

myocardial infarction

With two cities in Minnesot... (Below threshold)

With two cities in Minnesota named Climax and Fertile, there is a purportedly true story going around that a newspaper headline once read:

"FERTILE WOMAN DIES IN CLIMAX"

A phrase from another joke ... (Below threshold)

A phrase from another joke I one heard: cunning stunts.

(Think about it.)

Don't forget the pilot's to... (Below threshold)
Flyboy:

Don't forget the pilot's tool - the joystick.

I request your forbearance ... (Below threshold)
Boyd:

I request your forbearance to let me tell a little story in this vein.

Back when I was in the Navy and stationed at the National Security Agency, the standard practice was to put a placard by each door with the name of the most senior person inside (lotsa desks, and maybe a few private offices were to be found if you went through a door).

"Next door" to our Navy office was an office where The Big Man was named Dick Shaker. My friend Eric managed to control himself for many, many months, but one day, he could control himself no longer. He took a piece of paper, wrote the word "Official" on it, and stuck it in front of Dick Shaker's name.

The next day, the placard was changed to "Dr. Richard Shaker."

True story. Or as we say in the Navy, "this is no shit..."

Hate to break it to you, bu... (Below threshold)
Mabel:

Hate to break it to you, but "shoot your wad" isn't something you'd want to say in Sunday school. The links are too disgusting, go search for yourself.

Despite the fact that a pac... (Below threshold)
techno:

Despite the fact that a packed-bed reactor is a common component of chemical processing plants, our dean of engr. wouldn't allow us make t-shirts that had anything to do with "reacting faster in packed beds".
:-)

Some engineering terms:... (Below threshold)
Richard Sharpe:

Some engineering terms:

suction head required (used in specifying pumps)
perfectly rigid member (used in intro civil eng. courses)
stripping section (distillation column terminology)
rod loading under compression (reciprocating compressors / pumps)
rod wiping (reciprocating compressors / pumps)
channel lube (rotating equipment)
packing box (rotating equipment)
discharge relief (safety valve)
packed bed reactor (mentioned already by techno above)
temperature induced shrinkage (civil/mech)
eccentric orifice (used to measure flows containing solids)

Yeah, I need to get a life.

RS

red-bellied sapsucker... (Below threshold)

red-bellied sapsucker
cunning linguist
Satchel Paige

We almost forgot the ever-p... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

We almost forgot the ever-popular Tailgunner!

Or the other military one, ... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

Or the other military one, Rear Admiral, and don't leave out the medical profession, gotta include the Head Nurse.

Mill Bastard. The name of a... (Below threshold)
Stan25:

Mill Bastard. The name of a type of file (not cyber).
Buck the trend.
Golden Shower. He stood in a golden shower of sunlight.
Here pussy pussy
A hand in the bush
tool chest
tool box

Not kidding here, was in co... (Below threshold)

Not kidding here, was in court this morning with an attorney named Harry Johnson.

Cumming, Georgia.... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Cumming, Georgia.

From the English vernacular... (Below threshold)
-S-:

From the English vernacular, an expression that MEANS, "be direct, don't avoid the subject, don't evade looking directly at/for/about a problem, etc."

"DON'T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH."

Or, said thusly:

"LET'S NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH."

Virgin WoolExtra V... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Virgin Wool

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

When I was a kid there was ... (Below threshold)
Denis:

When I was a kid there was a bar in Clovis, CA. where card games were allowed. It was named "Liquor Up Front, Poker In The Rear." Of course I didn't get the joke until I was much older.

Pussy willowWeiner... (Below threshold)

Pussy willow

Weiner dog

Cock sure

Screwball

There's a town in Pennsylva... (Below threshold)
Beck:

There's a town in Pennsylvania named "Gobblers Knob."

Oh yeah, and a disease (whi... (Below threshold)
Beck:

Oh yeah, and a disease (which afflicts pregnant women and women who have just given birth) known as "milk leg"

When learning ship design a... (Below threshold)
Dave A.:

When learning ship design and construction, there are lots of terms that take awhile before you can use them conversationally without blushing. Probably the worst is "breast hook", a generally triangular plate connecting the stem post with the gunwales.

Rocket to Uranus... (Below threshold)

Rocket to Uranus

A semi-permanent rental at ... (Below threshold)

A semi-permanent rental at Dirty Pete's Lake...

Back stage pass...... (Below threshold)

Back stage pass...

Box Lunch... (Below threshold)

Box Lunch

Intercourse, PA... (Below threshold)
Mean Spirited:

Intercourse, PA




Advertisements









rightads.gif

beltwaybloggers.gif

insiderslogo.jpg

mba_blue.gif

Follow Wizbang

Follow Wizbang on FacebookFollow Wizbang on TwitterSubscribe to Wizbang feedWizbang Mobile

Contact

Send e-mail tips to us:

[email protected]

Fresh Links

Credits

Section Editor: Maggie Whitton

Editors: Jay Tea, Lorie Byrd, Kim Priestap, DJ Drummond, Michael Laprarie, Baron Von Ottomatic, Shawn Mallow, Rick, Dan Karipides, Michael Avitablile, Charlie Quidnunc, Steve Schippert

Emeritus: Paul, Mary Katherine Ham, Jim Addison, Alexander K. McClure, Cassy Fiano, Bill Jempty, John Stansbury, Rob Port

In Memorium: HughS

All original content copyright © 2003-2010 by Wizbang®, LLC. All rights reserved. Wizbang® is a registered service mark.

Powered by Movable Type Pro 4.361

Hosting by ServInt

Ratings on this site are powered by the Ajax Ratings Pro plugin for Movable Type.

Search on this site is powered by the FastSearch plugin for Movable Type.

Blogrolls on this site are powered by the MT-Blogroll.

Temporary site design is based on Cutline and Cutline for MT. Graphics by Apothegm Designs.

Author Login



Terms Of Service

DCMA Compliance Notice

Privacy Policy