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Beantownopoly

On a recent trip into Boston, I noticed one of those "Monopoly" games that's customized for the locals. Normally, they just change the property names and tokens, but Boston's version went a bit further.

1) "Free Parking" now costs $50.00, with the money going directly to the bank.

2) Any time a player leaves the table to visit the restroom or get a beverage, they have to pay $10 to the bank for the Massachusetts Water Reclamation Authority.

3) Whenever you pass "Go," you have to give back $10 in state income taxes, $5 in local taxes, and $5 token excise tax.

4) Further, property taxes are assessed every time you pass "Go" -- 5% of original purchase price, plus $25 per house and $100 per hotel.

5) The utilities and railroads are now named after various taxes and fees, and charge accordingly.

6) Thanks to rent control, all rents are halved, and capped at $200, regardless of development.

7) Fully half the "Chance" and "Community Chest" cards are taxes, fees, surcharges, and whatnot.

8) Any rolls of 11 or 12 result in a $50 "speeding ticket" charge, along with a $10 "insurance surcharge" the next seven times you pass "Go."

9) Every time a player rolls a 3 or a 9, they are "stuck in a traffic jam" and their turns ends immediately, without moving.

10) Chance features a card called "Income Redistribution," where the richest player and poorest player (cash-wise) combine their total cash, then divide it equally.

11) Community Chest has a card called "Chappaquiddick." When it is drawn, whoever owns "Martha's Vineyard" (formerly "Boardwalk") must immediately give it to the player who owns "Cape Cod" (formerly "Atlantic Avenue").

12) The "Get Out Of Jail Free" cards now allow you to also get out of one single tax, one time. The card is then removed from the game.

There were more differences, but even reading that much brought back a relapse of my gastroenteritis.

J.

(Update: Apparently, I wasn't blatant enough (although the "Chappaquiddick" reference should have tipped off most people). I have therefore changed this posting's category from "Humor" to "Satire." Do I really need to spell it out any clearer?)


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Comments (8)

Obviously, the makers of th... (Below threshold)
OregonMuse:

Obviously, the makers of the game are having a wee bit of fun at Beantown's expense.

We should come up with sugg... (Below threshold)
OregonMuse:

We should come up with suggestions for making this game even better. For instance, if your last name is "Kennedy", you are issued a permanent "Get Out of Jail Free" card and you can use it whenever you want...

One of the Chance cards say... (Below threshold)

One of the Chance cards says "You get elected state rep. Take an expense-paid trip to Martha's Vineyard, and collect $100 from private-sector players."

Obviously your "Leadership ... (Below threshold)
Mark:

Obviously your "Leadership " is having a wee bit of fun at taxpayers expense. Why not throw the tea in the harbor?

Be careful here! I smell st... (Below threshold)
Eneils Bailey:

Be careful here! I smell state and local legislation.

Beantownopoly still falls s... (Below threshold)
Paul Zrimsek:

Beantownopoly still falls short of realism in two key respects:

(1) The street names are actually printed on the board. You can tell where you are just by looking at them.

(2) You only have to pay taxes for passing go if you're actually playing Beantownopoly. In the next edition the rules will be changed so that even if you decide to play Clue of Risk instead, you'll still owe the bank in Beantownopoly the tax you would have owed if you were playing Beantownopoly.

Where's the toll road?... (Below threshold)
Just Me:

Where's the toll road?

Suggestion: For greater ac... (Below threshold)
Dave A.:

Suggestion: For greater accuracy, replace "Bank" with "State."




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