Shocking! Berkeley "Laptop" Professor Caught Lying, Expected To Blame Bush (Wizbang)

Last Wednesday the internets were abuzz with techie gossip about the stolen laptop of Berkeley professor Jasper Rine. The last few minutes of the video of his biology class contain the professor explaining the terrifying consequences that will soon befall the student that stole his laptop. BoingBoing provides a definitive video and audio links, though this transcription is the easiest way to catch the professors smackdown.

From his bio:

Although I have unlimited respect for facts, and delight in their discovery and appreciation, I have come to the obvious yet almost blasphemous view that, with respect to teaching, the facts just aren't that important.

[and later this]

Thus, when in front of a large lecture class, I shed my self-consciousness, and throw as much energy, passion, and drama into the exchange as I can.

Today The Inquirer and Engaget report the obvious - the professor is full of shit. A university spokesman admits the professor made up the whole black helicopter/black ops story in an effort to scare the thief into returning the stolen laptop. The thief

The Wizbang® Network

Wizbang Politics: Politics Is Not A Science

The fact that Barack Obama was elected President is a pretty clear indicator that Politics is not scientific. That is, with all due respect to the President, his resume was...

1:31 PM | 2 comments

Wizbang Pop!: This Week on Magazines

8:05 AM | 0 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Durable Oscar Winner Karl Malden Dies at 97

Karl Malden, the bulbous-nosed character actor who won a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Mitch, the guiless suitor of Blanche DuBois in the 1951 classic A Street...

8:02 AM | 2 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Sears Tower unveils 103rd floor glass balconies

Visitors to the Sears Tower's new glass balconies all seem to agree: The first step is the hardest. The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut...

7:50 AM | 0 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Jen & Angie Top Forbes Celeb 100

Angelina Jolie's was named highest-paid actress on Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 list. Coming in second behind Angie is Jennifer Aniston. Which would have the rag mags in a tizzy...

7:42 AM | 1 comments

Wizbang Pop!: David Carradine died of asphyxiation

It's still unclear what David Carradine was doing when he died, but a doctor knows what technically killed him. Having already ruled out suicide by hanging, the private pathologist...

7:37 AM | 1 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Movie and Television News

Dimension Films has acquired the remake rights to "An American Werewolf in London", John Landis' 1981 horror-comedy. Landis spoke to bloodydisgusting.com and said "Yes, Dimension is now in negotiation...

7:30 AM | 1 comments

Wizbang Pop!: 'Jackson not real father of his children'

article here!! Jackson was not the biological father of any of his three children, it was claimed yesterday - a revelation that may herald new complications in his family's...

10:06 PM | 4 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Real Estate: Alan Jackson Mega Manse

SELLER: Alan Jackson LOCATION: Moran Road, Franklin, TN PRICE: $38,000,000 SIZE: 19,000 square feet (approx.), 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms DESCRIPTION: Magnificent offering w/o compare. Bordered by...

7:57 AM | 1 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Weekend Box Office June 26-28, 2009

7:42 AM | 0 comments

Comments (14)

Rine should contact <a href... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by mesablue | April 25, 2005 3:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

mesablue:

Rine should contact this guy.

They'd make a great team. And get his laptop back.

Posted on April 25, 2005 15:48

Great idea, lousy execution... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by mcg | April 25, 2005 4:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

mcg:

Great idea, lousy execution on Rine's part.

Posted on April 25, 2005 16:29

Apparently the kid is suppo... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by dodgeman | April 25, 2005 4:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

dodgeman:

Apparently the kid is supposed to be in all sorts of shit for stealing a laptop containing top-secret info, but the professor who foolishly left the same top-secret info on a laptop, and then allowed the laptop to be stolen, doesn't have a care in the world?

Funny, I have all sorts of rules on what info I'm allowed to store on a laptop, and what security to use to prevent theft.

Posted on April 25, 2005 16:39

I agree mesablue, and if Ca... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by JEW | April 25, 2005 4:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

JEW:

I agree mesablue, and if Carlssin can give up Ussama I say let him keep the 350 million.

Posted on April 25, 2005 16:44

What? A prof at Cal telling... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Rod Stanton | April 25, 2005 4:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Rod Stanton:

What? A prof at Cal telling lies?! I dont believe it! Has not happened more than 10,000,000 times since 1963.

Posted on April 25, 2005 16:51

I'm so glad I'm not in coll... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by csh | April 25, 2005 4:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

csh:

I'm so glad I'm not in college anymore. I think my head would explode. God help the generation of students that have to be taught by these fruitloops.

Posted on April 25, 2005 16:58

Hey! Someone stole the end... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Jinx McHue | April 25, 2005 5:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Jinx McHue:

Hey! Someone stole the end of Kevin's post!

Posted on April 25, 2005 17:31

Where are the Southpark Duo... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by -S- | April 25, 2005 6:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

-S-:

Where are the Southpark Duo when you really need them...

Posted on April 25, 2005 18:01

...and then the people f... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by -S- | April 25, 2005 6:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

...and then the people from the future came back and stole the laptop and, oh, yeah, theytoookourrrjaaaahhhhbbbs...

Posted on April 25, 2005 18:02

the facts just aren't th... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by mesablue | April 25, 2005 7:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

the facts just aren't that important

Seems to be a recurring theme.

Posted on April 25, 2005 19:08

I was in a book store, and ... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by J. Mark English | April 25, 2005 7:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

J. Mark English:

I was in a book store, and the fact that it was raining outside was Bush's fault...but of course if we were in a draught...that would not be the case.

Posted on April 25, 2005 19:38

Boy, when I used to take a ... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by epador | April 25, 2005 11:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

epador:

Boy, when I used to take a draught in the old days, I never blamed the president.

Posted on April 25, 2005 23:01

To the thief of time and Ke... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by epador | April 25, 2005 11:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

To the thief of time and Kevin's post's ending:

What the professor should have lied is:

I know who you are, and I am going to have both basketball teams [womens and mens] beat you into a sensless pulp (they owe me their grades) unless you return the laptop with a full confession by 11 55 AM.

Would have been about as effective and a whole lot more entertaining and less time wasting.

Posted on April 25, 2005 23:08

Ah, but J. Mark English, ab... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by -S- | April 26, 2005 10:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Ah, but J. Mark English, about that rain, next time anyone curses the rain, curses the 'cause,' remind them that throughout recorded history, RAIN IS A BLESSING FROM GOD/HEAVEN/THECREATOR/THEBIGSPIRITINTHESKY...

Rain is a gift from God/alljustlisted.

So, um, let them figure out the conclusions when they curse the rain and decry Bush as cause.

Posted on April 26, 2005 10:51

Comment Preview

Posted by: