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Shocking! Berkeley "Laptop" Professor Caught Lying, Expected To Blame Bush

Last Wednesday the internets were abuzz with techie gossip about the stolen laptop of Berkeley professor Jasper Rine. The last few minutes of the video of his biology class contain the professor explaining the terrifying consequences that will soon befall the student that stole his laptop. BoingBoing provides a definitive video and audio links, though this transcription is the easiest way to catch the professors smackdown.

From his bio:

Although I have unlimited respect for facts, and delight in their discovery and appreciation, I have come to the obvious yet almost blasphemous view that, with respect to teaching, the facts just aren't that important.

[and later this]

Thus, when in front of a large lecture class, I shed my self-consciousness, and throw as much energy, passion, and drama into the exchange as I can.

Today The Inquirer and Engaget report the obvious - the professor is full of shit. A university spokesman admits the professor made up the whole black helicopter/black ops story in an effort to scare the thief into returning the stolen laptop. The thief


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Comments (14)

Rine should contact <a href... (Below threshold)
mesablue:

Rine should contact this guy.

They'd make a great team. And get his laptop back.

Great idea, lousy execution... (Below threshold)
mcg:

Great idea, lousy execution on Rine's part.

Apparently the kid is suppo... (Below threshold)
dodgeman:

Apparently the kid is supposed to be in all sorts of shit for stealing a laptop containing top-secret info, but the professor who foolishly left the same top-secret info on a laptop, and then allowed the laptop to be stolen, doesn't have a care in the world?

Funny, I have all sorts of rules on what info I'm allowed to store on a laptop, and what security to use to prevent theft.

I agree mesablue, and if Ca... (Below threshold)
JEW:

I agree mesablue, and if Carlssin can give up Ussama I say let him keep the 350 million.

What? A prof at Cal telling... (Below threshold)
Rod Stanton:

What? A prof at Cal telling lies?! I dont believe it! Has not happened more than 10,000,000 times since 1963.

I'm so glad I'm not in coll... (Below threshold)
csh:

I'm so glad I'm not in college anymore. I think my head would explode. God help the generation of students that have to be taught by these fruitloops.

Hey! Someone stole the end... (Below threshold)

Hey! Someone stole the end of Kevin's post!

Where are the Southpark Duo... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Where are the Southpark Duo when you really need them...

...and then the people f... (Below threshold)
-S-:

...and then the people from the future came back and stole the laptop and, oh, yeah, theytoookourrrjaaaahhhhbbbs...

the facts just aren't th... (Below threshold)
mesablue:

the facts just aren't that important

Seems to be a recurring theme.

I was in a book store, and ... (Below threshold)

I was in a book store, and the fact that it was raining outside was Bush's fault...but of course if we were in a draught...that would not be the case.

Boy, when I used to take a ... (Below threshold)
epador:

Boy, when I used to take a draught in the old days, I never blamed the president.

To the thief of time and Ke... (Below threshold)
epador:

To the thief of time and Kevin's post's ending:

What the professor should have lied is:

I know who you are, and I am going to have both basketball teams [womens and mens] beat you into a sensless pulp (they owe me their grades) unless you return the laptop with a full confession by 11 55 AM.

Would have been about as effective and a whole lot more entertaining and less time wasting.

Ah, but J. Mark English, ab... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Ah, but J. Mark English, about that rain, next time anyone curses the rain, curses the 'cause,' remind them that throughout recorded history, RAIN IS A BLESSING FROM GOD/HEAVEN/THECREATOR/THEBIGSPIRITINTHESKY...

Rain is a gift from God/alljustlisted.

So, um, let them figure out the conclusions when they curse the rain and decry Bush as cause.




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