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A call for suggestions

I heard on the radio earlier that Bill Clinton is going to be at our local Barnes & Noble Thursday night, signing copies of his book. I probably won't get out of work in time to attend, but I'm toying with how I could properly recognize this momentous event.

1) Show up in a blue dress, black beret, and kneepads, and say I'd rather have a DNA sample than an autograph;

2) In accordance with recent trends, show up with a meringue pie and nail him with it;

3) Slip him a business card and tell him that if he needs a good lawyer to get his disbarment overturned, I'm his man;

4) Ask him to make the autograph out to "Ray Reggie;"

5) Ask him to make the autograph out to "Juanita Broaddrick."

Again, the odds of me actually being able to get to the signing are negligible, and of me going are non-existent. This is strictly for fun. If you had a chance to attend a Bill Clinton book signing, what would you love to do?


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Comments (26)

Sign the book..."To: Disap... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Sign the book..."To: Disappointed,"

Signed, "Impeached."

Hire a Chinese guy to show ... (Below threshold)
OregonMuse:

Hire a Chinese guy to show and up demand his "usual cut".

Take that tobacco spitting ... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

Take that tobacco spitting Viet Nam vet with you, that should take care of everything.

Have my copy dedicated to t... (Below threshold)

Have my copy dedicated to the wife and children of Vince Foster. How could he refuse? It's for the children!

Show up, then leave after m... (Below threshold)

Show up, then leave after making a fuss saying that you thought it was going to be Richard Nixon.

Or show up with the copy of his book stuffed in your pants a la Sandy.

I would suggest Bubba read ... (Below threshold)
Patriccio:

I would suggest Bubba read this accurate review of his book.

Show up in a blue dress,... (Below threshold)
Bill from INDC:

Show up in a blue dress, black beret, and kneepads, and say I'd rather have a DNA sample than an autograph;

You would be as a God.

The dude's book has been ou... (Below threshold)

The dude's book has been out for nearly a year and he's doing book signings in Manchester NH now?

This sounds like a grudging contractualy obligation, doesn't it?

So treat it as such. Bring the pie.

Offer him a cigar.... (Below threshold)

Offer him a cigar.

Ask him if he's "Ron Mexico... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

Ask him if he's "Ron Mexico".

Get Al Gore to accompany yo... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Get Al Gore to accompany you and yell, "he LIED to you, he LIIIEEEDDD to you!"

Avoid the shower and the de... (Below threshold)
jmaster:

Avoid the shower and the deodorant till the signing, put on some big head phones and an iPod (or walkman), and present him with a Parliament CD.

Ask him to sign it “Make my funk the P-Funk, man.”

Then casually walk away, smiling and grooving.

Secret service guys have no... (Below threshold)

Secret service guys have no sense of humor. Keep that in mind, because Clinton still has them around.

I would have him sign my ci... (Below threshold)
McCain:

I would have him sign my cigar, a nice fat 50x6 torpedo.

Read <a href="http://libert... (Below threshold)
Tom:

Read this to him.

Buy 2 books and switch the ... (Below threshold)

Buy 2 books and switch the covers so that he would actually be signing a copy of High Crimes and Misdimeanors by Ann Coulter, then send it to her as a present.

EXXXcellent (^^) !... (Below threshold)
-S-:

EXXXcellent (^^) !

Tell him he wasn't properly... (Below threshold)
Just John:

Tell him he wasn't properly appreciated until his successor took over.

If I had the opportunity...... (Below threshold)

If I had the opportunity...I'd not go.

I met the slime-wad back in the early eighties when he was governor of Arkansas and made a speech at the college I was attending. I had no dsire to meet him, but he grabbed my hand and shook it as I was heading to class.

I stood about 20 yards from Ronald Reagan once. Now THAT I'm proud of.

Try #1 - you should be used... (Below threshold)
trollee:

Try #1 - you should be used to that.

Buy 2 books and switch t... (Below threshold)

Buy 2 books and switch the covers so that he would actually be signing a copy of High Crimes and Misdimeanors by Ann Coulter, then send it to her as a present.

Wasp wins.

The rules are that he will ... (Below threshold)
kevino:

The rules are that he will only sign his name, you have to buy the book in advance, and you can't carry in anything but the book (i.e. no cigars).

Therefore, I'd pay a group of girls from the local strip club to walk in with copies of his book to sign. Then I'd photograph him leering at the girls and maybe chatting them up.

Thursday night, eh?

Ask him: "Mr Preside... (Below threshold)
LouisianaLightning:

Ask him:
"Mr President, since Hillary's book was called Living History, Why wasn't your book called Oral History?

You mean he won't sign a co... (Below threshold)

You mean he won't sign a copy of a 2000 federal budget spreadsheet, you know the one without any red on it? That's something we won't see again for a long, long, time.

And about as true as his au... (Below threshold)

And about as true as his autobiography, eh Rick?

I'd thank him for balancing... (Below threshold)
Ted:

I'd thank him for balancing the budget and for presiding over the greatest economic expansion in US history.




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