The keys to Michael Jackson's kingdom have just been ripped from his mother's hands. Over the objections of Katherine Jackson, a Los Angeles probate judge today ruled that Michael...
1:54 PM | 
0 comments
The fact that Barack Obama was elected President is a pretty clear indicator that Politics is not scientific. That is, with all due respect to the President, his resume was...
1:31 PM | 3 comments
8:05 AM | 1 comments
Karl Malden, the bulbous-nosed character actor who won a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Mitch, the guiless suitor of Blanche DuBois in the 1951 classic A Street...
8:02 AM | 5 comments
Visitors to the Sears Tower's new glass balconies all seem to agree: The first step is the hardest. The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut...
7:50 AM | 0 comments
Angelina Jolie's was named highest-paid actress on Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 list. Coming in second behind Angie is Jennifer Aniston. Which would have the rag mags in a tizzy...
7:42 AM | 2 comments
It's still unclear what David Carradine was doing when he died, but a doctor knows what technically killed him. Having already ruled out suicide by hanging, the private pathologist...
7:37 AM | 2 comments
Dimension Films has acquired the remake rights to "An American Werewolf in London", John Landis' 1981 horror-comedy. Landis spoke to bloodydisgusting.com and said "Yes, Dimension is now in negotiation...
7:30 AM | 1 comments
article here!! Jackson was not the biological father of any of his three children, it was claimed yesterday - a revelation that may herald new complications in his family's...
10:06 PM | 4 comments
SELLER: Alan Jackson LOCATION: Moran Road, Franklin, TN PRICE: $38,000,000 SIZE: 19,000 square feet (approx.), 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms DESCRIPTION: Magnificent offering w/o compare. Bordered by...
7:57 AM | 1 comments
Comments (64)
"Uh, can I run a tab?"... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 29, 2005 8:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Uh, can I run a tab?"
1. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 29, 2005 8:29 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 08:29
2. Posted by JAT0 | April 29, 2005 8:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Well if it ain't my ole buddy, Johnny Kerry when did ya'll start tending bar here?
2. Posted by JAT0 | April 29, 2005 8:39 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 08:39
3. Posted by HeyMike | April 29, 2005 8:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Six bucks for a beer?
That's worse than a Rangers Game!!
3. Posted by HeyMike | April 29, 2005 8:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 08:43
4. Posted by Eric | April 29, 2005 8:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The FEC can bite me. I ain't running for President again.
4. Posted by Eric | April 29, 2005 8:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 08:46
5. Posted by BoDiddly | April 29, 2005 8:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thought bubble:
You know, we really could use one of these "Hooters" places on the ranch.
--or--
Yes, I'd like one order of Buffalo Wings with the 3 Mile Island nucular . . . nuclur. . . nucalear . . . aw, hell, you know what I mean!
5. Posted by BoDiddly | April 29, 2005 8:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 08:50
6. Posted by robert | April 29, 2005 8:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Even in Crawford, GW can't get a break.
6. Posted by robert | April 29, 2005 8:54 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 08:54
7. Posted by TC@LeatherPenguin | April 29, 2005 8:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Now see, you give me a dollar..."
7. Posted by TC@LeatherPenguin | April 29, 2005 8:57 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 08:57
8. Posted by Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith | April 29, 2005 9:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Barkeep! I would like your finest Awesome Blossom please!"
8. Posted by Jihad Jimmy, Chief Defender of the Faith | April 29, 2005 9:02 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:02
9. Posted by Maggie | April 29, 2005 9:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Somehow Dubya wasn't surprised to learn that there was a special line just for Republican presidents at the National Press Corps Dinner. . . journalists always make them "pay".
9. Posted by Maggie | April 29, 2005 9:04 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:04
10. Posted by The Man | April 29, 2005 9:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chalkboard: I'm with stupid
10. Posted by The Man | April 29, 2005 9:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:13
11. Posted by Ken | April 29, 2005 9:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You know.. this fillibuster thing could drive a man to drink."
11. Posted by Ken | April 29, 2005 9:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:13
12. Posted by Stephen Macklin | April 29, 2005 9:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I'm George Bush, and I believe in limited government."
12. Posted by Stephen Macklin | April 29, 2005 9:27 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:27
13. Posted by Laurence Simon | April 29, 2005 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The producers working on "Cheers: The Movie" auditions scramble after John Ratzenberger is arrested under the Patriot Act for industrial espionage with his series "Made In America."
13. Posted by Laurence Simon | April 29, 2005 9:28 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:28
14. Posted by brak | April 29, 2005 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
If I don't get some service here I'm gonna launch a preemptive strike on the tap.
14. Posted by brak | April 29, 2005 9:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:43
15. Posted by JAT0 | April 29, 2005 9:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Say ya'll serve Arabs in here?"
(Please no one take offense to this)
15. Posted by JAT0 | April 29, 2005 9:51 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:51
16. Posted by Mark | April 29, 2005 9:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chalkboard: Welcome to Rainbow Unity Night
"No, no, I can push in my own stool."
16. Posted by Mark | April 29, 2005 9:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:59
17. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 9:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Say ya'll serve Arabs in here?"
"Nah. You ever try cleaning one o' dem t'ings?"
(That oughta take the heat off JATO)
17. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 9:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 09:59
18. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 10:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chalkboard: "Welcome to Compassionate Conservatives Night! All Adult Beverages $1 Off"
Bush: "Buddy, you really know how to hurt a teetotaller!"
18. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 10:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 10:01
19. Posted by Mark | April 29, 2005 10:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Yes, I was called about my daughter."
19. Posted by Mark | April 29, 2005 10:03 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 10:03
20. Posted by dodgeman | April 29, 2005 10:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Barkeep - Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses, and get Condi whatever the hell she wants, pronto!!!
20. Posted by dodgeman | April 29, 2005 10:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 10:13
21. Posted by Insomniac | April 29, 2005 10:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush rolls out his new plan to save Social Security.
21. Posted by Insomniac | April 29, 2005 10:26 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 10:26
22. Posted by Just John | April 29, 2005 10:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I'm only collecting from the working class."
22. Posted by Just John | April 29, 2005 10:41 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 10:41
23. Posted by Hodink | April 29, 2005 10:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Buddy, I have learned to pray anywhere."
23. Posted by Hodink | April 29, 2005 10:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 10:50
24. Posted by Sean Gleeson | April 29, 2005 10:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So, nobody's turned in a navy blue suit jacket, size 44, Kevlar lining?
24. Posted by Sean Gleeson | April 29, 2005 10:58 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 10:58
25. Posted by Doug Stewart | April 29, 2005 11:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
IMAO already posted this shot, from a different angle, with suitable replacement chalkboard text.
*grin*
Beaten to the punch(line).
25. Posted by Doug Stewart | April 29, 2005 11:18 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 11:18
26. Posted by John Burgess | April 29, 2005 11:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chalkboard: Please Pray Here
26. Posted by John Burgess | April 29, 2005 11:19 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 11:19
27. Posted by Kaptain Krude | April 29, 2005 11:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ha! Just like that other George, I'm "first in war, first in peace, first in the hearts of his countrymen", and now I'm first in line! It's good to be the king! er, President!
27. Posted by Kaptain Krude | April 29, 2005 11:24 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 11:24
28. Posted by dchamil | April 29, 2005 11:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'll have two of whatever the Marines are drinking!
28. Posted by dchamil | April 29, 2005 11:28 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 11:28
29. Posted by JP | April 29, 2005 11:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
cropped off at the top of the chalkboard:
Kissing Booth: $5
29. Posted by JP | April 29, 2005 11:32 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 11:32
30. Posted by FormerHostage | April 29, 2005 11:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hey, your gumball machine just took my quarter."
"I bet you haven't seen so many suits in this joint since that undertaker's convention."
"The towels are out in the men's room"
"Yes! I said a sassparilla and if you have a problem with that then I guess I'm gonna have to go all Condi on your a$$!"
30. Posted by FormerHostage | April 29, 2005 11:56 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 11:56
31. Posted by Chrees | April 29, 2005 12:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"OK, the old Social Security Plan works like this: you pay here and you never see your money again as the system goes bankrupt. Now let me tell you about personal savings accounts..."
31. Posted by Chrees | April 29, 2005 12:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 12:04
32. Posted by pvaughan | April 29, 2005 12:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm looking for the Piper. Ya' seen him?
32. Posted by pvaughan | April 29, 2005 12:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 12:11
33. Posted by Jinx McHue | April 29, 2005 12:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
At the bar of a South Carolina restaurant, President Bush lays out his new idea of replacing vehicles powered by expensive gasoline with vehicles powered by much less expensive beer.
"And if you get thirsty while driving, just pull over and syphon out a few ounces," joked the president.
33. Posted by Jinx McHue | April 29, 2005 12:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 12:45
34. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 2:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"People love pay-as-you-go. Just listen to everybody defending the current Social Security system. But I just don't think this is the right place for that kind of pay-as-you-go."
34. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 2:14 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 14:14
35. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 2:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Besides, how do you flush a spittoon?"
35. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 2:14 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 14:14
36. Posted by -S- | April 29, 2005 2:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"CHEBURGER, CHEBURGER, CHEBURGER!"
36. Posted by -S- | April 29, 2005 2:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 14:57
37. Posted by -S- | April 29, 2005 2:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Reference (^^).
37. Posted by -S- | April 29, 2005 2:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 14:58
38. Posted by Mike Erwin | April 29, 2005 4:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The president takes a turn manning the federal government's new, high tech, IRS collection window.
38. Posted by Mike Erwin | April 29, 2005 4:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 16:41
39. Posted by Francis Meehan | April 29, 2005 5:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My tab is what???
I don't drink...anymore.
$460 BILLION/year seems a bit excessive to save the country from itself.
39. Posted by Francis Meehan | April 29, 2005 5:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 17:01
40. Posted by Brian | April 29, 2005 5:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Damn, Laura looks hot today. Aww hell, now I've gotta stand here until things calm down...."
40. Posted by Brian | April 29, 2005 5:17 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 17:17
41. Posted by itismedavid | April 29, 2005 5:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You see, you put the lime IN the coconut and then drink it all up."
OR
Chalkboad: Stay Back 50 ft. from world leaders.
41. Posted by itismedavid | April 29, 2005 5:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 17:25
42. Posted by dchamil | April 29, 2005 5:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
-- Say, do y'all serve Arabs in here?
-- No, just buffalo wings and pretzels. (With apologies to JATO).
42. Posted by dchamil | April 29, 2005 5:55 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 17:55
43. Posted by Smoke Eater | April 29, 2005 6:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bush thought bubble:
Jenna is on to something! The drinks are great, and where can I get beads to hand out?
43. Posted by Smoke Eater | April 29, 2005 6:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 18:29
44. Posted by David Eccles | April 29, 2005 6:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Caption -
"You know......ever since this Rove fella started tellin me what to say, I just don't know who I am anymore! I mean.....he writes every word..... he transmits...I mean he coaches me on what to do, what to say, when to smile."
"It's enough to make a man plumb crazy...(pause)....HEY........you listenin?"
"Ah hell, just give me my damn drink."
44. Posted by David Eccles | April 29, 2005 6:43 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 18:43
45. Posted by David Eccles | April 29, 2005 7:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Alternative captions -
1) "Man.........this piss-hard is really uncomfortable!!!!
2) "PFFFFFFFFTTTT!!! Did you hear that frog?
45. Posted by David Eccles | April 29, 2005 7:09 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 19:09
46. Posted by Maggie | April 29, 2005 7:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Where's Jimmy? I'm wasting away in Margueritaville!"
46. Posted by Maggie | April 29, 2005 7:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 19:45
47. Posted by McCain | April 29, 2005 7:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chalkboard:
Topps Gold #43
George W. Bush
Bats Rights, Throws Right
47. Posted by McCain | April 29, 2005 7:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 19:54
48. Posted by Brad | April 29, 2005 7:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yeah, I quit drinkin'. Got anything in an I. V.?
48. Posted by Brad | April 29, 2005 7:55 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 19:55
49. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 10:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Bartender, a round for the house, and put it on my tab. My name? Joser."
49. Posted by McGehee | April 29, 2005 10:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 22:47
50. Posted by Tim McFall | April 29, 2005 11:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is that John Kerry bartending? Hey John, good to see you finally got a honest job!.
50. Posted by Tim McFall | April 29, 2005 11:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 23:24
51. Posted by Giacomo | April 29, 2005 11:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Here's a funny one: The most powerful man in the world walks into a bar with a monkey under one arm and a bird on his head..."
51. Posted by Giacomo | April 29, 2005 11:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 29, 2005 23:36
52. Posted by JimK | April 30, 2005 12:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(this runs a little long for a caption, but what the heck)
In what staffers called his "grassroots initiative to reform Social Security," Bush mans the first mandatory collection center himself for a photo op. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid responded by stealing the collection box and filling it with poo. "Let's see him reform that" said Reid.
52. Posted by JimK | April 30, 2005 12:57 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 00:57
53. Posted by Norm | April 30, 2005 1:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'll have one grape knee high sir, and did I tell ya'll bout Social Security...
53. Posted by Norm | April 30, 2005 1:44 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 01:44
54. Posted by Ingress | April 30, 2005 11:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Oh My Gawd. I just found out that I'll be under Social Security now instead of the 'only for the hotsy totsy government types' program like before. Now, no question, we are going to HAVE to reform Social Security. Who could live on that?"
54. Posted by Ingress | April 30, 2005 11:04 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 11:04
55. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 30, 2005 2:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Did Ted Kennedy pass the bar? Well, looks pretty well stocked to me, so I don't think he passed."
(Ted Kennedy out of picture choking on beer nuts)
Dubya: "Hey somebody, give Teddy the Hemlock manure-ver."
(had to put that one in for Schwerv)
55. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 30, 2005 2:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 14:02
56. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | April 30, 2005 4:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I'll have the Bolton burger with filibuster fries and a glass of Delay draft."
56. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | April 30, 2005 4:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 16:16
57. Posted by Sue Dohnim | April 30, 2005 5:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
George W. Bush wows the crowd at the Crawford Applebees with the opening act, a "barking doggie," of his national "Shadow Puppets for the Defense Budget" tour.
57. Posted by Sue Dohnim | April 30, 2005 5:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 17:04
58. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 30, 2005 7:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
New sign: JOHN 3:16
Dubya: "I'm on a mission from God."
58. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 30, 2005 7:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 19:38
59. Posted by opine6 | April 30, 2005 9:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chalkboard: Bar closed, permanently.
Bush: I own a wood company. "Wanna sell this Wood?"
59. Posted by opine6 | April 30, 2005 9:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 21:05
60. Posted by opine6 | April 30, 2005 9:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeffblogworthy gets my vote. Made me spew on my keyboard!
60. Posted by opine6 | April 30, 2005 9:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on April 30, 2005 21:12
61. Posted by Buckley F. Williams | May 1, 2005 12:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"How much for the little girl?"
61. Posted by Buckley F. Williams | May 1, 2005 12:09 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 1, 2005 00:09
62. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 1, 2005 10:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chalkboard: Only the Rich Pay Here
re: Bush SS plan
62. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 1, 2005 10:31 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 1, 2005 10:31
63. Posted by capitano | May 1, 2005 10:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
CHALKBOARD: Wilbanks Reception
GWB: "Well, I credit Bill Richardson's Tourism Department. You remember when he convinced the high-tailing Democrats in the Texas Legislature (bless their timid hearts) to abandon Oklahoma for New Mexico?"
It's their new state motto: "If you have issues facing reality, we've got a bus ticket and a coin-operated bed for you!"
63. Posted by capitano | May 1, 2005 10:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 1, 2005 10:59
64. Posted by Kevin | May 3, 2005 1:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
64. Posted by Kevin | May 3, 2005 1:04 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 3, 2005 01:04