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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

U.S. actress-model Katie Lohmann kisses a storm trooper character as she arrives for the premiere of 'Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith' in Los Angeles' Westwood area May 12, 2005. REUTERS/Lee Celano

Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.


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Comments (139)

What a great Babe Magnet th... (Below threshold)

What a great Babe Magnet this turned out to be!

That's hot.... (Below threshold)
Rusty:

That's hot.

Thurn ofth th air inthake, ... (Below threshold)

Thurn ofth th air inthake, I'm THtUCK!

Is that a lightsaber in you... (Below threshold)
kevino:

Is that a lightsaber in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

"Shut up Pete! I know Storm... (Below threshold)
Mays:

"Shut up Pete! I know Storm Trooper armor isn't supposed to have a bulge in the crotch!"

Nice Helmet :)... (Below threshold)
RickDC:

Nice Helmet :)

I bet she gives great helme... (Below threshold)

I bet she gives great helmet.

Who's the hot chick?... (Below threshold)

Who's the hot chick?

Stormtrooper Bob hits it of... (Below threshold)
Matt:

Stormtrooper Bob hits it off with Vader's slutty daughter, "Paris".

Aren't you a little short f... (Below threshold)

Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?

TK421 why aren't you at you... (Below threshold)
Mike:

TK421 why aren't you at your post?

Girls Love A Man In Uniform... (Below threshold)
William L. Dewhurst:

Girls Love A Man In Uniform!

I am NOT a Minuteman... mor... (Below threshold)
jeff:

I am NOT a Minuteman... more like a 5 minute man...

"Ouchie ouchie ouchie, I ne... (Below threshold)

"Ouchie ouchie ouchie, I need a bigger codpiece...."

I vote for Mike's 'TK421...... (Below threshold)
a4g:

I vote for Mike's 'TK421...'

NICE PACKAGE ! ... ... (Below threshold)
Zsa Zsa:

NICE PACKAGE ! ...

Stop it! Stop it! You're m... (Below threshold)

Stop it! Stop it! You're making Monica jeolous and there's no more room for my cigar.

"Want to cross pollinate?"<... (Below threshold)
Hodink:

"Want to cross pollinate?"

The Force was truely with S... (Below threshold)
Doug:

The Force was truely with Storm Trooper 7EZ

Whats a small town girl got... (Below threshold)
Doug:

Whats a small town girl got to do to get off this planet?

Princess Lay-ya ?... (Below threshold)
Norm:

Princess Lay-ya ?

Unfortunately for cloned tr... (Below threshold)

Unfortunately for cloned trooper 213356789, his codpiece contained only actual cod.

"This is not the prostitute... (Below threshold)
CeeJ:

"This is not the prostitute you are looking for."

Young Jedi apprentice Layla... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Young Jedi apprentice Layla tries her recently learned skill of Jedi Tongue Control...none of this happened...I was never here...

...so tell me...is it true ... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

...so tell me...is it true what they say about Storm Troopers?...it's trew...it's trew...

"I find your lack of a shir... (Below threshold)

"I find your lack of a shirt disturbing."

"I sense a disturbance in my pants."

"Wanna see my lightsaber?"

"A clone alone with a bone."

Hey, baby. Come to my plac... (Below threshold)

Hey, baby. Come to my place after the movie and I'll show you a [i]real[/i] lightsaber.

Er... Wrong brackets or do... (Below threshold)

Er... Wrong brackets or does HTML just not work?

"Despite improving his sens... (Below threshold)

"Despite improving his sense of style and awareness of current events, this pimp still drove a purple 1974 Impala with his mother's name on the title."

*CLUNK!*"Ow."... (Below threshold)

*CLUNK!*

"Ow."

Life-long virgin and Star W... (Below threshold)

Life-long virgin and Star Wars geek Ralph suddenly realized that he was finally going to be able to "use the Force."

I never noticed before that... (Below threshold)

I never noticed before that a storm troopers helmet looks like the tip of a large circumcised penis...I guess the hot girl licking him made me think of that.

"In related news, codpiece ... (Below threshold)

"In related news, codpiece sales rose 421% during the previous week."

[DISCLAIMER: participating... (Below threshold)
-S-:

[DISCLAIMER: participating as wordsmithee, ignore the I.D.]

"Hey, babe, I thought you said you liked my GUN!"

"This is not the prostit... (Below threshold)
Matt:

"This is not the prostitute you are looking for."

I'll give it to CeeJ

Despite the protection offe... (Below threshold)
Ryan:

Despite the protection offered by his fully armored body condom, Bob was still a bit nervous about his date with Paris Hilton.

TK421, can I see your post?... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

TK421, can I see your post?

I'll touch your plastic if ... (Below threshold)
Di:

I'll touch your plastic if you touch mine ...

Skywalker, schmywalker...do... (Below threshold)
HeyMike:

Skywalker, schmywalker...do that down here next.

Hey baby, wanna see my P-wi... (Below threshold)
sentinel:

Hey baby, wanna see my P-wing fighter?

Dave finally got the girls ... (Below threshold)
KBiel:

Dave finally got the girls to notice him, despite spending all of his time on-line chatting about Star Wars and Star Trek, but he couldn't figure out why he still wasn't "getting any".

"Hey babe, you want the For... (Below threshold)
Cancon:

"Hey babe, you want the Force, I'll give you the Force."

"Fibreglass makes the man"

Wanna buff my helmet?... (Below threshold)
LJD:

Wanna buff my helmet?

Wanna feel the force in your dark side?

My uniform is mostly full of silicone too....

Your name wouldn't happen to be Princess Lay-Ya?


"I've got a bad feeling abo... (Below threshold)
Dale Price:

"I've got a bad feeling about this...

...but I don't care."

"These aren't the Breast's ... (Below threshold)
Rick13:

"These aren't the Breast's you're looking for"!

"These aren't the Breast's I'm looking for"!

And that was the last time ... (Below threshold)
JimK:

And that was the last time a woman ever touched Bob.

"It looks like you've manag... (Below threshold)

"It looks like you've managed to cut off your only escape route!"

"Open the blast doors! Ope... (Below threshold)

"Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!"

"Holding her is dangerous."... (Below threshold)

"Holding her is dangerous."

Terrified, Bob held complet... (Below threshold)
martyr:

Terrified, Bob held completely still in hopes that the strange creature would soon leave him alone

"Hmmm, now wait a minute...... (Below threshold)
mm24mm24:

"Hmmm, now wait a minute...yes, YES, im now beginning to the feel the force!"

Scene 47, Act III, "Star Wa... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Scene 47, Act III, "Star Wars 9:Revenge of The Princess"

Skywalker (disguised as StormTrooper)
Princess (whispering): "Luke, I am your Father. Join me on the Dark Side. It's hot."

"You came in that? You're ... (Below threshold)
pokey2121:

"You came in that? You're braver than I thought."

64 fell for her even though... (Below threshold)
S.K.:

64 fell for her even though she did all the other clones last night.

Pennywit wrote: "... (Below threshold)

Pennywit wrote: "I sense a disturbance in my pants."

I ain't even gonna try to beat that one.

Gee, when IS the last time ... (Below threshold)
SarahW:

Gee, when IS the last time I got my helmet polished?

"No, seriously, I am glad t... (Below threshold)

"No, seriously, I am glad to see you."

So... are those buttons for... (Below threshold)
david:

So... are those buttons for what I think they're for?

"I've met Jango and I'm jus... (Below threshold)

"I've met Jango and I'm just wondering... did they clone, ya know... everything?"

... and if you press this b... (Below threshold)
david:

... and if you press this button right here it...

Sorry, these uniforms don't... (Below threshold)
Chrees:

Sorry, these uniforms don't come in size skank.

More Star Wars Fan Fiction<... (Below threshold)

More Star Wars Fan Fiction

Good news: Chicks love the ... (Below threshold)

Good news: Chicks love the Stormtrooper outfit.
Bad news: By the time you get out of it, the mood has passed.

Look at what the 300 Storm ... (Below threshold)
Chrees:

Look at what the 300 Storm Troopers behind me are wearing and tell me if you think I'm concerned that Paris Hilton is wearing the same dress as you...

"Huh, the Micheline man did... (Below threshold)
rawlie:

"Huh, the Micheline man didn't taste like rubber either!"

"I am feeling things that I... (Below threshold)
Bouhaki:

"I am feeling things that I do not believe are in my program."

A Storm Trooper's inabilty ... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

A Storm Trooper's inabilty to hit any he shoots at always comes in handy when out of contraceptives.

That would be "anything". D... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

That would be "anything". Doh. And "Inability". Doh again.

"Dick Cheney, you get out o... (Below threshold)

"Dick Cheney, you get out of there this instant! You can hide one big head, but not both!"

No thanks, I’m still with t... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

No thanks, I’m still with the Droid, C3PO, unless you care for a menage a drois

Later when Ellen Degeneres stepped out of the Storm Trooper costume, all my fantasies went up in a poof of smoke, well most of them did.

Girl: “Hmmm, a hard man is good to find.”

That's no Moon . . . that's Jessica Cutler.

1 : mmm, fresh batterys.</p... (Below threshold)
Stan:

1 : mmm, fresh batterys.

2 : Does that thig vibrate?

3 : I usually get 20 for a lapdance but i'll do you for free.

Stars Wars Trivia Tidbit... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Stars Wars Trivia Tidbit #13,427 Did you know that there was a need for Storm Trooper helments to have windshield wipers on the inside of the goggles?

Mmm, set your phasers on ST... (Below threshold)
toddzilla:

Mmm, set your phasers on STUNNING!

Hey big fella, how about a ... (Below threshold)
mcgriff:

Hey big fella, how about a little wookie?

Wanna see my 2 headed light saber?

"My Force will be with you.... (Below threshold)

"My Force will be with you. Always."

"Help me, Stormtrooper Bob, you're my only hope."
"Well, if I have to ... "

The things women will do for the good of the Empire.

"This is how democracy ends. With a tongue."

"Women love a man in uniform."

"Say hello to my little friend!"

"Your helmet ... it's so ... large!"

"Eat your heart out, 'scruffy-lookin''"

--|PW|--

Hooker's always clean up at... (Below threshold)

Hooker's always clean up at Star Wars conventions..

While wearing his prized st... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

While wearing his prized stormtrooper outfit, fondling a babe and relishing in his coup de grace, the uncoordinated, overwieght lightsaber kid from the internet now laughs at you, dweeb!

(I'm with elgato on this on... (Below threshold)

(I'm with elgato on this one)

A storage compartment for y... (Below threshold)
Wffcamaro:

A storage compartment for you Guinness beer while in combat! BRILLIANT!

Mmmmm... Your clone-a-licio... (Below threshold)
David M:

Mmmmm... Your clone-a-licious!

At a Star Wars gala that br... (Below threshold)

At a Star Wars gala that brought out nerds from all accross the United States, Storm Trooper Glen was seen with his date claiming that she was not a paid escort. A person dressed up as Yoda ran out and exclaimed "Dollars for a date, you paid." This ugly scene was quickly quieted by the Republican guard.

One is mostly plastic.... (Below threshold)

One is mostly plastic.

The other is an Imperial Stormtrooper.

Girl: "My way with you, I w... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Girl: "My way with you, I will have..."
Trooper: "Dang it Yoda, cut out the shape changing crap."

BIG THINGS COME IN SMALL PA... (Below threshold)
Zsa Zsa:

BIG THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES!...Hmmm?

Are you the UPS Man?...... (Below threshold)
Zsa Zsa:

Are you the UPS Man?...

Vickie was smarter than the... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

Vickie was smarter than the other hookers. She liked to work the "Dorkfest" events, Star Wars openings, Trekie and D&D conventions, Mac users symposiums, blogger's meetings and any other gatherings of men who rarely left their mother's basements. The money was great because these guys finished really quick and there was no need to worry about disease, they had extremely low exposure rates. She just wished for once that one of them could actually fill the cod-piece.

Look sir, whores!... (Below threshold)

Look sir, whores!

Cut that out! You don't w... (Below threshold)
itismedavid:

Cut that out! You don't where that tongue's been!

Great, now I'll have to spend the next three hours disinfecting! Hope Vadar doesn't get wind of this.

"That's not my earlobe," he... (Below threshold)
Norm:

"That's not my earlobe," he said tongue-on-cheek...

little did the dumb blonde ... (Below threshold)
Norm:

little did the dumb blonde she know that the Storm Trooper was liquid cooled, as her tongue stuck to him as on a coldmetal fence in the middle of winter...

"Fly me to the moon."... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Fly me to the moon."
"How 'bout Uranus?"

(you just knew that one was coming)

I still like SarahW's submi... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

I still like SarahW's submission.

Kevin's life was forever ch... (Below threshold)
dooley:

Kevin's life was forever changed when the Star Wars and AVN conventions were double booked.

Star Wars Kid and Paris Hil... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Star Wars Kid and Paris Hilton rumored to be dating after book tour on their best selling "How To Become Famous With Embarrassing Home Videos".

"I'm Rick James, bitch."</p... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

"I'm Rick James, bitch."

Slutskya was about to find ... (Below threshold)
Doug:

Slutskya was about to find out that this Storm Trooper was "Big hat--no light saber"

After her third hit of ecst... (Below threshold)
jmaster:

After her third hit of ecstasy, the haunting and enigmatic lyrics to the ABBA song “Super Trooper” suddenly became perfectly clear to Katie, and she knew she had to make her move.

"Wanna see my Star Destroye... (Below threshold)

"Wanna see my Star Destroyer?"

Young Jedi apprentice Katie... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Young Jedi apprentice Katie took it literally when the Jedi Council said they wanted to lick the Empire

Transvestite Sith apprentic... (Below threshold)

Transvestite Sith apprentice Darth Skank plots to turn another innocent boy to the Not-That-There's-Anything-Wrong-With-It Side.

I would like to see what th... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

I would like to see what that stupid Triumph the Insult Comic Dog has to stay about my new girlfriend...

Me love you lightyears.... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

Me love you lightyears.

The codpiece runneth over, ... (Below threshold)

The codpiece runneth over, my lord.

Oh my God..this honey's giv... (Below threshold)
marty byk:

Oh my God..this honey's giving me a case of white balls of intergallactic proportions.

"Oooh baby... I'd do anythi... (Below threshold)

"Oooh baby... I'd do anything... just anything... to get you to come over to the dark side."

Girl: You know, if it were... (Below threshold)

Girl: You know, if it were not for all this armor...
Trooper: Damnit! I knew I should have been a Jedi! Robes come off in a flash...

"Would the great big Stormy... (Below threshold)

"Would the great big Stormy Warmy wike to come up to my wittle woom and show me his wight saber?"

"The answer is still no - w... (Below threshold)

"The answer is still no - we do not allow women into combat under any circumstances, and that's final!"

Stormtrooper to Woman: "Is ... (Below threshold)

Stormtrooper to Woman: "Is the Force in you?"

Woman: "No."

Stormtrooper: "Would you like it to be?"

Don't underestimate the pow... (Below threshold)

Don't underestimate the power of the dark side.

You will never find a more ... (Below threshold)

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum an villainy - for under $20.

What happens on Tattooine s... (Below threshold)

What happens on Tattooine stays on Tattooine.

From the mixed movies categ... (Below threshold)

From the mixed movies category:

"Did you see that bodacious set of tah tahs?"

Next up on QVC...Protect th... (Below threshold)
Marty:

Next up on QVC...Protect those Jewels! It's the newest in deep space chastity belts. The "E-Vader". Item #A-3422. Comfy, sleek and stylish. The E-Vader keeps you out of trouble whether you're lounging on deck or enjoying a well deserved shore leave on some exotic planet with your special trooper pals. And best of all, it's universal! One size fits all**. Comes in choice of white. If you can't defend The Empire at least defend your honor- with "The E-Vader". By Death Star Int.


**Jar Jar Binks not included

"This is not the tongue you... (Below threshold)

"This is not the tongue you are looking for."

"Take a look at this codpiece, and tell me 'size matters not,' baby!"

Jedi Tongue Trick

Poster boy for the "In the ... (Below threshold)
Radios:

Poster boy for the "In the event of an erection lasting four hours, or more, please seek medical attention" warning.

I, for one, welcome our Sto... (Below threshold)
m:

I, for one, welcome our Stormtrooper overlords.

"Can I dock in your port?"<... (Below threshold)

"Can I dock in your port?"

UN rapes have been way down... (Below threshold)

UN rapes have been way down since Bolton delivered the new Peacekeeper uniforms...

After their yearly Hollywoo... (Below threshold)

After their yearly Hollywood convention, the American Plastics Council (APC) has decided to modify their slogan to: Plastics Make ANYTHING Possible.

"They warned us in bootcamp... (Below threshold)

"They warned us in bootcamp about you hookers infected with giant alien torso crabs"

Uh, miss, that part of the ... (Below threshold)

Uh, miss, that part of the costume looks the same on ALL of the storm troopers, it's molded that way!

After giving a wookie nooki... (Below threshold)

After giving a wookie nookie, a Jedi head (aye!), and making an R2 hard too, Princess Lay-ya wants a Stormtrooper up the pooper.

Is this called "Giving a Cl... (Below threshold)

Is this called "Giving a Clone a Bone?"

Stormtrooper Bob blessed hi... (Below threshold)

Stormtrooper Bob blessed his luck that he'd located a Gungan Linguist after she uttered, "Meesa Horny!"

A stormtrooper's outfit: T... (Below threshold)
Squall:

A stormtrooper's outfit: The protection that Trojan Man can't even compare with.

Even after Enzyte Bob was s... (Below threshold)
Mike Boelter:

Even after Enzyte Bob was still to short in that special place to be her stormtrooper. . .

~Darth always said the Forc... (Below threshold)

~Darth always said the Force will be with me, but I had no idea it worked in such mysterious ways.

~Hey, watch the tongue, if I wanted slobber on my armor, I'd have gone over to Jabba's Hutt.

Not a caption but well wort... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

Not a caption but well worth seeing. Definitely on topic.
http://geekfantasies.com/

Especially this one.

http://geekfantasies.com/sample5.html

NE 1 469, Why aren't you at... (Below threshold)

NE 1 469, Why aren't you at your post?

And now for a caption that ... (Below threshold)

And now for a caption that has absolutely nothing to do with Star Wars:

"Benny's Jewish mom always made him take 'safe sex' precautions waaaaay too seriously."

RANDAL: A construction job ... (Below threshold)
Justin B:

RANDAL: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers, HOOKERS.

DANTE: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.

RANDAL: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to perform a blumpkin? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

Smooth...Mmmmm ...I love su... (Below threshold)
Zsa Zsa:

Smooth...Mmmmm ...I love sucking face...You must wax!...Your cheak is so nice and firm...Mmm Mmm! You don't even know my name...Mmmmm

I've got a good feeling abo... (Below threshold)

I've got a good feeling about this!

Thank God I wasn't in a Res... (Below threshold)

Thank God I wasn't in a Reserve or National Guard Unit that got activated for service in the WhateverOnWhomever and could stay safe in the rear with the beer and the babes.

You taste good for being a ... (Below threshold)

You taste good for being a stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder.

Holy fantasies, Batman, loo... (Below threshold)
Ken:

Holy fantasies, Batman, look at this. We need to modernize our crime fighting techniques.

Star Whores!... (Below threshold)
mcgriff:

Star Whores!

Update: <a... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.




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