The keys to Michael Jackson's kingdom have just been ripped from his mother's hands. Over the objections of Katherine Jackson, a Los Angeles probate judge today ruled that Michael...
1:54 PM | 
1 comments
The fact that Barack Obama was elected President is a pretty clear indicator that Politics is not scientific. That is, with all due respect to the President, his resume was...
1:31 PM | 3 comments
8:05 AM | 1 comments
Karl Malden, the bulbous-nosed character actor who won a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Mitch, the guiless suitor of Blanche DuBois in the 1951 classic A Street...
8:02 AM | 6 comments
Visitors to the Sears Tower's new glass balconies all seem to agree: The first step is the hardest. The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut...
7:50 AM | 0 comments
Angelina Jolie's was named highest-paid actress on Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 list. Coming in second behind Angie is Jennifer Aniston. Which would have the rag mags in a tizzy...
7:42 AM | 2 comments
It's still unclear what David Carradine was doing when he died, but a doctor knows what technically killed him. Having already ruled out suicide by hanging, the private pathologist...
7:37 AM | 2 comments
Dimension Films has acquired the remake rights to "An American Werewolf in London", John Landis' 1981 horror-comedy. Landis spoke to bloodydisgusting.com and said "Yes, Dimension is now in negotiation...
7:30 AM | 1 comments
article here!! Jackson was not the biological father of any of his three children, it was claimed yesterday - a revelation that may herald new complications in his family's...
10:06 PM | 4 comments
SELLER: Alan Jackson LOCATION: Moran Road, Franklin, TN PRICE: $38,000,000 SIZE: 19,000 square feet (approx.), 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms DESCRIPTION: Magnificent offering w/o compare. Bordered by...
7:57 AM | 1 comments
Comments (112)
1) So, that's how you're su... (Below threshold)1. Posted by lawhawk | May 20, 2005 10:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
1) So, that's how you're supposed to dehumanize a tyrant? Stick 'em in his undies and plaster his picture all over the pages of the tabloids? I will have to remember this when I need to extract information about the whereabouts of the secret rebel base.
2) Is that how I'm going to end up? Is that how the Emperor is going to end up?
1. Posted by lawhawk | May 20, 2005 10:12 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:12
2. Posted by jeff | May 20, 2005 10:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
you have failed me for the last time bus driver, you will meet your destiny.
2. Posted by jeff | May 20, 2005 10:12 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:12
3. Posted by Mike | May 20, 2005 10:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmmm....This looks promising....Fun loving SWF looking for a tall, dark someone who knows how to dress for success...
3. Posted by Mike | May 20, 2005 10:15 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:15
4. Posted by Jack in TX | May 20, 2005 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Karl Rove demonstrates the Bush Administration attention level paid to Immigration law enforcement.
4. Posted by Jack in TX | May 20, 2005 10:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:20
5. Posted by ed | May 20, 2005 10:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmmm.
"Damn. Garfield is getting lame...."
5. Posted by ed | May 20, 2005 10:23 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:23
6. Posted by B. Minich, PI | May 20, 2005 10:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
If only you knew the POWER . . . of the Classifieds.
6. Posted by B. Minich, PI | May 20, 2005 10:24 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:24
7. Posted by pennywit | May 20, 2005 10:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
1) "Ben and J-Lo? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
2) Palpatine dissolved the Senate shortly after it reduced the Executive Transportation budget
3) Varth Dader wonders why nobody takes him seriously.
--|PW|--
7. Posted by pennywit | May 20, 2005 10:30 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:30
8. Posted by John Burgess | May 20, 2005 10:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Given a choice, Limenaens will choose a cute butt over an apocalyptic alien every time...
8. Posted by John Burgess | May 20, 2005 10:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:36
9. Posted by Michelene | May 20, 2005 10:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ater the fall of the evil empire, Darth Vader attempts to "repurpose" and find a new job.
9. Posted by Michelene | May 20, 2005 10:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:37
10. Posted by TheKid | May 20, 2005 10:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
After honing his lightsaber skills for the last 28 years, Juan was once again rejected for the Supervillain role, this time in favor of Hayden Christensen. Struck with an epiphany, Juan scoured the help-wanted ads for for any sign that "Darth impersonators" would replace the eponymous Elvis wannabes as party fodder.
10. Posted by TheKid | May 20, 2005 10:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:38
11. Posted by Dave Eaton | May 20, 2005 10:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Reading the casting calls in Variety, Darth recalls his drama coach's warnings about being typecast...
11. Posted by Dave Eaton | May 20, 2005 10:44 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:44
12. Posted by Blake | May 20, 2005 10:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
HHmmm.......I always suspected that Gary Coleman was an Ewok.
12. Posted by Blake | May 20, 2005 10:45 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:45
13. Posted by OregonMuse | May 20, 2005 10:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What!? The National Enquirer will pay dearly for spreading these miserable lies about me and Padme.
13. Posted by OregonMuse | May 20, 2005 10:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:49
14. Posted by Joe | May 20, 2005 10:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I wonder if they airbrushed today's Page 3 girl? I mean, no one really looks like THAT.
14. Posted by Joe | May 20, 2005 10:51 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:51
15. Posted by OregonMuse | May 20, 2005 10:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This candid photo shows Karl Rove on his lunch break.
15. Posted by OregonMuse | May 20, 2005 10:52 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:52
16. Posted by yetanotherjohn | May 20, 2005 10:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This job has me written all over it. 'Hands-off manager wanted who can still motivate subordinates'.
16. Posted by yetanotherjohn | May 20, 2005 10:58 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 10:58
17. Posted by Laurence Simon | May 20, 2005 11:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I find your lack of a driver's license disturbing."
17. Posted by Laurence Simon | May 20, 2005 11:00 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:00
18. Posted by K Jones | May 20, 2005 11:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Luke, I am not your father?
18. Posted by K Jones | May 20, 2005 11:03 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:03
19. Posted by Norm | May 20, 2005 11:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
where in the heck do I find this "Force" they speak of...it's not in the classifieds...darn...
19. Posted by Norm | May 20, 2005 11:08 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:08
20. Posted by Norm | May 20, 2005 11:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I've been thru the classifieds and still can't find that "Force" thing they talk about...
20. Posted by Norm | May 20, 2005 11:10 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:10
21. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | May 20, 2005 11:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So, Luke has a sister!
21. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | May 20, 2005 11:12 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:12
22. Posted by fatman | May 20, 2005 11:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hey, what's a guy gotta do to get a little attention around here?"
22. Posted by fatman | May 20, 2005 11:12 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:12
23. Posted by icemaniceman | May 20, 2005 11:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"And they call me an illegal alien!"
23. Posted by icemaniceman | May 20, 2005 11:14 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:14
24. Posted by George | May 20, 2005 11:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darth, contemplating the decline of recruits, looks with envy at the untapped reserve of dark side journalists.
24. Posted by George | May 20, 2005 11:15 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:15
25. Posted by Russell Newquist | May 20, 2005 11:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
1) Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational tabloid!
2) Join me, and together we will rule this bus stop as father and son!
25. Posted by Russell Newquist | May 20, 2005 11:19 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:19
26. Posted by Brandon | May 20, 2005 11:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
George Steinbrenner contemplates his next move for the Yankees.
26. Posted by Brandon | May 20, 2005 11:24 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:24
27. Posted by Tom Johnson | May 20, 2005 11:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Karl Rove takes a time-out.
27. Posted by Tom Johnson | May 20, 2005 11:31 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:31
28. Posted by Editor | May 20, 2005 11:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Huh - runaway bride has a dark side, eh? Who'da thunk?
28. Posted by Editor | May 20, 2005 11:34 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:34
29. Posted by jaboobie | May 20, 2005 11:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This new suit with the built in portable loo is jedi-riffic!
29. Posted by jaboobie | May 20, 2005 11:41 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:41
30. Posted by The Indigent Blogger | May 20, 2005 11:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Muwahahaha! The power of the Force allows me to discreetly stare at her dark side unlike these other insignificant creatures.
30. Posted by The Indigent Blogger | May 20, 2005 11:47 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:47
31. Posted by Chrees | May 20, 2005 11:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I see PepsiCo needs a new COO. I can get by with saying the U.S. is the lightsaber of the world..."
31. Posted by Chrees | May 20, 2005 11:47 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:47
32. Posted by WunderKraut | May 20, 2005 11:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darth Vader’s first trip to Earth ended in humiliation and in police custody after totally misunderstanding the concept of public restrooms.
32. Posted by WunderKraut | May 20, 2005 11:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:48
33. Posted by Chrees | May 20, 2005 11:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"There is a disturbance in my subscription."
33. Posted by Chrees | May 20, 2005 11:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:49
34. Posted by Literally Retarded | May 20, 2005 11:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Bad script?" "Flat and uninspired acting?" "Just plain dull?"
Gaaah... I hate critics.
34. Posted by Literally Retarded | May 20, 2005 11:51 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:51
35. Posted by Chrees | May 20, 2005 11:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hmmm... go see Star Wars or the Oakland Raiders' spring practice? I'm dressed for either one..."
35. Posted by Chrees | May 20, 2005 11:52 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:52
36. Posted by MichaelW | May 20, 2005 11:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Next on 60 Minutes: Who's using those services your tax dollars pay for? The Dark Side of public transportation.
36. Posted by MichaelW | May 20, 2005 11:58 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 11:58
37. Posted by Karl Maher | May 20, 2005 12:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Weary of the filibuster debate, Sen. Schumer hangs loose on K Street awaiting a quorum call.
37. Posted by Karl Maher | May 20, 2005 12:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:01
38. Posted by JaySwash | May 20, 2005 12:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"After losing his Death Star post during the widespread military base closures, the Dark Lord of the Sith prepares to re-enter the civilian world."
38. Posted by JaySwash | May 20, 2005 12:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:02
39. Posted by Tym | May 20, 2005 12:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The REAL downside of military base closings...
39. Posted by Tym | May 20, 2005 12:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:05
40. Posted by dodgeman | May 20, 2005 12:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmm, a casting call for the next ST:TNG movie?
Maybe, just maybe I can make this work!
40. Posted by dodgeman | May 20, 2005 12:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:08
41. Posted by FreakyBoy | May 20, 2005 12:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Commander will pay dearly for his error of leading Darth Vader to Chewbacabra.
41. Posted by FreakyBoy | May 20, 2005 12:17 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:17
42. Posted by sentinel | May 20, 2005 12:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darth Vader helmet: $200
Darth Vader costume: $400
Attempting to use your Jedi mind trick on your boss, but STILL getting fired: priceless
42. Posted by sentinel | May 20, 2005 12:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:22
43. Posted by Raina | May 20, 2005 12:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darth Vader nonchalantly waits for the bus while inwardly imagining splitting his mechanic in twain. Unfortunately the mechanic is the only person in a 20 light year radius certified to repair his Death Star.
43. Posted by Raina | May 20, 2005 12:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:23
44. Posted by Giacomo | May 20, 2005 12:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Wow, the Evil Empire won 10 straight? Hey, we're right back in it!!"
44. Posted by Giacomo | May 20, 2005 12:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:24
45. Posted by sentinel | May 20, 2005 12:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Since the destruction of the Death Star, Vader has been forced to get his rebel updates by other means.
45. Posted by sentinel | May 20, 2005 12:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:24
46. Posted by Rob@L&R | May 20, 2005 12:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Was that Keanu Reeves & Sandra Bullock on that bus that just went by? Damn, they should slow down."
46. Posted by Rob@L&R | May 20, 2005 12:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:24
47. Posted by BlogDog | May 20, 2005 12:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I find your lack of transportation ... disTURbing!"
47. Posted by BlogDog | May 20, 2005 12:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:29
48. Posted by BlogDog | May 20, 2005 12:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Oh. Aplogies to Laurence Somin. Didn't read 'em afore I posted.
48. Posted by BlogDog | May 20, 2005 12:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:31
49. Posted by BlogDog | May 20, 2005 12:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Let me try that again using my fingers: Apologies to Laurence Simon.
I should have felt a tremor in the Force.
49. Posted by BlogDog | May 20, 2005 12:32 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 12:32
50. Posted by Brian | May 20, 2005 1:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lord Vader forgets that to really impress the girls, you need to put the light saber "inside" you pants.
50. Posted by Brian | May 20, 2005 1:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:00
51. Posted by pennwyit | May 20, 2005 1:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darth Vader finds a promising position in the classifieds:
"Autocratic government seeks overbearing dark lord with creepy supernatural powers. Duties include maintaining discipline among troops and stealing air from defenseless, peaceful planets. Please send resume, references, and salary requirements to President Skroob."
--|PW|--
51. Posted by pennwyit | May 20, 2005 1:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:10
52. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 20, 2005 1:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hmmmmm, Saddam in his undies. You are the master, now, Murdoch."
52. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 20, 2005 1:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:16
53. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 20, 2005 1:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Dang it, how did Saddam get his own 'Got Milk?' ad before me."
53. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 20, 2005 1:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:19
54. Posted by jordan | May 20, 2005 1:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Even the Force can't help me understand Dondi
54. Posted by jordan | May 20, 2005 1:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:25
55. Posted by Sue Dohnim | May 20, 2005 1:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Bail Organa won't see me here in his old neighborhood if I can just act casual. I just hope that slimy Ackbar doesn't show up and alert him..."
55. Posted by Sue Dohnim | May 20, 2005 1:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:27
56. Posted by Crank | May 20, 2005 1:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Anakin's turn to the Dark Side was complete when he read that Newsweek had reported that Obi-Wan flushed Yoda down a toilet.
56. Posted by Crank | May 20, 2005 1:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:46
57. Posted by Jared | May 20, 2005 1:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sadly, the New Republic just couldn't take care of skyrocketing unemployment the way the Empire did.
57. Posted by Jared | May 20, 2005 1:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:46
58. Posted by Brian | May 20, 2005 1:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Finally, photographic proof of people outside the United States who have way too much time on their hands... :-)
58. Posted by Brian | May 20, 2005 1:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:46
59. Posted by SteveL | May 20, 2005 1:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
[From Howard Dean - DNC press release] "We've lost countless jobs under George W. Bush. He's even personally taken Darth Vader's job as the most evil man in the universe. Now he's forced poor Annakin Skywalker, who had a troubled childhood thanks to Republican social services funding cuts, to search the want-ads in vain. But with underfunded adult education programs, where will he turn?"
59. Posted by SteveL | May 20, 2005 1:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:46
60. Posted by Jeff | May 20, 2005 1:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I am such a bitch for "Family Circus."
60. Posted by Jeff | May 20, 2005 1:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:47
61. Posted by qwe | May 20, 2005 1:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Sith Lord needed to manage new station. Salary negotiable+benefits; must supply own TIE fighter."
61. Posted by qwe | May 20, 2005 1:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:58
62. Posted by bullwinkle | May 20, 2005 1:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Armed with his dark powers and the comic book provided by the Supreme Chancellor Palpatine Darth was only doing a so-so job of fitting in as Americas most alien illegal alien.
62. Posted by bullwinkle | May 20, 2005 1:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 13:58
63. Posted by jim b | May 20, 2005 2:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Star Wars series has made it so easy for former Nazi's to hide in South America. Everyone pays more attention to women, even those married with children.
63. Posted by jim b | May 20, 2005 2:03 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:03
64. Posted by Wffcamaro | May 20, 2005 2:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Britney, I want to father your baby!"
64. Posted by Wffcamaro | May 20, 2005 2:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:10
65. Posted by Dodd | May 20, 2005 2:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
1) I'm not entirely sure I believe this story about a lobster-headed alien commanding the rebel fleet....
2) Padme had *twins*!?!
65. Posted by Dodd | May 20, 2005 2:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:11
66. Posted by Editor | May 20, 2005 2:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sweet! Howard Dean said even I deserve to treated as "innocent until proven guilty." Damn, that Delay guy is getting screwed.
66. Posted by Editor | May 20, 2005 2:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:11
67. Posted by Mark | May 20, 2005 2:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Why couldn't Donald Trump choose me as his apprentice instead of that Kendra bitch? That Palpatine guy just creeps me out.
67. Posted by Mark | May 20, 2005 2:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:24
68. Posted by dooley | May 20, 2005 2:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Newspaper:
50 cents
Bitchin' outfit from Hollywood Goodwill:
25 bucks
Wearing new outfit during weekend of MinuteMan duty to scare the hell out of illegal aliens...
priceless
68. Posted by dooley | May 20, 2005 2:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:27
69. Posted by KarenMG | May 20, 2005 2:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Nobody will guess that I'm just another illegal alien...under this great disguise.
69. Posted by KarenMG | May 20, 2005 2:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:38
70. Posted by D. Carter | May 20, 2005 2:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
1) The slippery slope: Darth Vader was originally a follower of "The Far Side".
2) The Sendero Luminoso receives a shot in the arm, as the unemployed Darth Vader goes job hunting in Peru.
70. Posted by D. Carter | May 20, 2005 2:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:41
71. Posted by Tom Blogical | May 20, 2005 2:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmmm....horoscopes...horoscopes...ah, here they are. "Beware of those closest to you today, they may betray you." Bah! What a load of crap.
71. Posted by Tom Blogical | May 20, 2005 2:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 14:56
72. Posted by Francis W. Porretto | May 20, 2005 3:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I don't care what they say about me in the papers, but damn it all, they could at least spell my name right!"
72. Posted by Francis W. Porretto | May 20, 2005 3:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 15:08
73. Posted by Jinx McHue | May 20, 2005 3:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Vader: "Just look at that hot girl getting it on with that Stormtrooper! What's he got that I don't? What's a Dark Lord of the Sith gotta do to get action like that these days?"
73. Posted by Jinx McHue | May 20, 2005 3:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 15:21
74. Posted by tony | May 20, 2005 4:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well, $450 for a two bedroom *does* seem like a great deal, but mom's basement has a washer and dryer, and I get free dinners slid under my door."
74. Posted by tony | May 20, 2005 4:14 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 16:14
75. Posted by heymike | May 20, 2005 4:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmm Candidate will have good people skills, good communication, pleasant appearance, willing to work long hours and a desire to concur planets.....sounds perfect for me!
75. Posted by heymike | May 20, 2005 4:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 16:18
76. Posted by D. Carter | May 20, 2005 4:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Newsweek has learned that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi has fled to Peru, where he was almost captured by two mechanics, an aerobics instructor, and a local pro bowler.
76. Posted by D. Carter | May 20, 2005 4:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 16:35
77. Posted by Alici | May 20, 2005 4:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Daschle?
77. Posted by Alici | May 20, 2005 4:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 16:36
78. Posted by Alici | May 20, 2005 4:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
As his second child Leia was taken away, he was seemingly unaware...who would know he was paid under the table...she would never get child support...from him anyway.
78. Posted by Alici | May 20, 2005 4:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 16:38
79. Posted by mhking | May 20, 2005 4:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Now that Episode III is history, I've REALLY gotta find me a job. Hmmmmm...that exotic dancer job looks pretty interesting..."
79. Posted by mhking | May 20, 2005 4:53 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 16:53
80. Posted by Mr. Fu | May 20, 2005 5:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Prince Valiant? Now that's a hair cut!"
80. Posted by Mr. Fu | May 20, 2005 5:15 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 17:15
81. Posted by Elvis | May 20, 2005 5:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I told that Gary Sheffield not to wear panties on his head in right field!"
81. Posted by Elvis | May 20, 2005 5:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 17:41
82. Posted by Mark L | May 20, 2005 6:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmm . . . Ah, yes . . .
"Help Wanted, Evil Genius"
82. Posted by Mark L | May 20, 2005 6:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 18:01
83. Posted by hwapper | May 20, 2005 6:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hmmm... lets see 'Top Ten Most Stolen Vehicles'. Camry, Accord, TIE Fighter... DOH!"
83. Posted by hwapper | May 20, 2005 6:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 18:11
84. Posted by Noumenon | May 20, 2005 6:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I just wanted to point out that regular readers of this blog never see the results of these caption contests, because you don't post them as updates.
84. Posted by Noumenon | May 20, 2005 6:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 18:18
85. Posted by Teflon93 | May 20, 2005 6:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I find 'The Family Circus'....disturbing."
85. Posted by Teflon93 | May 20, 2005 6:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 18:35
86. Posted by Dodo David | May 20, 2005 6:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
While reading his favorite tabloid, Darth Vader is shocked to learn who really is the father of Padme's children.
86. Posted by Dodo David | May 20, 2005 6:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 18:48
87. Posted by Justin B | May 20, 2005 7:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Damn, I can't do anything right!" Prince Harry dejectedly mumbles after the Royal Family throws him out of the annual costume ball for dressing as another evil dictator.
87. Posted by Justin B | May 20, 2005 7:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 19:04
88. Posted by Eric Sohn | May 20, 2005 8:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dick Cheney spends a little quiet time before his secret tete-a-tete with the other Dark Lords of Halliburton.
88. Posted by Eric Sohn | May 20, 2005 8:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 20:08
89. Posted by Beck | May 20, 2005 8:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"My God, how did they get their hands on photos of Palpatine in his underoos?!"
89. Posted by Beck | May 20, 2005 8:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 20:20
90. Posted by reelcobra | May 20, 2005 8:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
hmmmm...
I wonder if those guys behind me are looking at the baby or her ass?
90. Posted by reelcobra | May 20, 2005 8:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 20:40
91. Posted by Macker | May 20, 2005 8:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Let's see...I'm in the neighborhood now, I need to check up on my buddies at Sith County Choppers..."
91. Posted by Macker | May 20, 2005 8:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 20:41
92. Posted by McGehee | May 20, 2005 9:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(with apologies to Laurence Simon) "I find this paper's lack of 'Foxtrot' ... disturbing."
"Three bedrooms, two and a half baths, not pets. Includes hyperbaric chamber. ... Hmmmm, and the rent doesn't look half bad."
"Used space station, only blown up twice, must see to believe. Needs some work. Will entertain any serious offer. Something tells me I needn't bother with that one."
92. Posted by McGehee | May 20, 2005 9:21 PM |
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Posted on May 20, 2005 21:21
93. Posted by McGehee | May 20, 2005 9:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Where can he be? I told him I'd be at the bus stop on the corner of Market Street and Sith Avenue ... D'OH!"
93. Posted by McGehee | May 20, 2005 9:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 21:23
94. Posted by Paul | May 20, 2005 10:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
USA Today....Yes, it has potential....
94. Posted by Paul | May 20, 2005 10:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 22:45
95. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 20, 2005 10:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Must be the Group W bench.
(/obscure reference)
95. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 20, 2005 10:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 20, 2005 22:54
96. Posted by -S- | May 21, 2005 12:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What Darth Vader does between Sequels, now explained.
96. Posted by -S- | May 21, 2005 12:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 00:01
97. Posted by robert | May 21, 2005 12:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
As the box office rang up record profits, the lonely saga of unemployed Vaders continued to unfold.
97. Posted by robert | May 21, 2005 12:03 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 00:03
98. Posted by -S- | May 21, 2005 12:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Caption (2):
"Los Angeles, May 20, 2005: the newly elected City Mayor photographed moments before he mumbled to Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'Talk to the hand, beeaatch!' and Governor Schwarzenegger grabbed his leather outfit. The Mayor is reportedly now resting comfortably in Long Beach after clinging to his helmet, while, elsewhere, the Governor enjoys a new-found support among California voters."
98. Posted by -S- | May 21, 2005 12:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 00:13
99. Posted by Smoke Eater | May 21, 2005 1:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Map to stars homes - $25
Bus fair to Alec Guiness' home - $5
Getting your A$$ kicked by an OLD MAN - priceless
entry 2
After his 50th birthday, not even Darth Vader was able to muster enough force to satisfy Padme. Sadder still, his attempts at "it WAS good for you" did not work either, and he was forced to leave.
99. Posted by Smoke Eater | May 21, 2005 1:17 AM |
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Posted on May 21, 2005 01:17
100. Posted by esl | May 21, 2005 1:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Man, Darth Saddam has really let himself go...
100. Posted by esl | May 21, 2005 1:29 AM |
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Posted on May 21, 2005 01:29
101. Posted by The WASP | May 21, 2005 1:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I knew my latest book "George Bush is really the Sith Lord" would get good reviews in the NY Times book review.
101. Posted by The WASP | May 21, 2005 1:56 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 01:56
102. Posted by spelling assassin | May 21, 2005 6:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Yoda Gives birth to Two Headed babies"
102. Posted by spelling assassin | May 21, 2005 6:00 AM |
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Posted on May 21, 2005 06:00
103. Posted by itismedavid | May 21, 2005 6:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmmm, Martha is out of prison? I can just apply the force to that little ankle-bracelit and it is off to Tantooine for a little fun in the sand!
103. Posted by itismedavid | May 21, 2005 6:18 AM |
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Posted on May 21, 2005 06:18
104. Posted by Kevin P. Craver | May 21, 2005 9:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hey, I never flushed Princess Leia's copy of the Koran down a Death Star toilet -- f***ing Newsweek ...
104. Posted by Kevin P. Craver | May 21, 2005 9:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 09:38
105. Posted by Uncle Mikey | May 21, 2005 11:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Looks like it's time for a recruiting trip to the UK, this Galloway kid is blowin' up."
105. Posted by Uncle Mikey | May 21, 2005 11:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 11:38
106. Posted by SJBill | May 21, 2005 7:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
If only LucasFilms went public, I'd neer have to wear thsi POS plastic suit again.
106. Posted by SJBill | May 21, 2005 7:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 19:02
107. Posted by robert | May 21, 2005 7:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darth Hits the Bottom:
"Use the force", they said. "Own Hollywood", they said; and now I can't even scare small children.
"Get out!", she said, "or I'll use your light sabre for a circumcision you won't soon forget." Let's see now: "SWF loves pottery, art fairs, wearing matching shirts..."
107. Posted by robert | May 21, 2005 7:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 19:54
108. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 21, 2005 10:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"WTF? George Lucas is my father?"
108. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 21, 2005 10:43 PM |
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Posted on May 21, 2005 22:43
109. Posted by Mark L | May 21, 2005 11:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Ah, here's my ad:
'Tall, dark, widowed Sith Lord seeks romance with female cyborg. If you like asphyxiation or heavy breathing, then I'm the man/machine for you!"
109. Posted by Mark L | May 21, 2005 11:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 21, 2005 23:11
110. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 22, 2005 3:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
CLASSIFIEDS
Wanted - Interrogator, Abu-Ghraib prison, Iraq.
Must be familiar with non-physical means of persuasion.
110. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 22, 2005 3:05 PM |
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Posted on May 22, 2005 15:05
111. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 22, 2005 9:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hmmm... very decent of this place called New York to have these public restroom facilities. Though this one is just a little too public for me."
111. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 22, 2005 9:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 22, 2005 21:00
112. Posted by Kevin | May 23, 2005 1:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced (follow the link to see who won). Comments are now closed.
112. Posted by Kevin | May 23, 2005 1:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 23, 2005 01:49