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Thanks for the warning, pal...

(Warning: this post contains some harsh language. I'm sticking the meat of it in the extended section.)

When I was younger, I coined a phrase to describe certain behaviors and indicators that a person would not be pleasant to deal with, and would probably be best avoided entirely. I called these signs "AEWIs."

That stood for Asshole Early Warning Indicators. These aren't always 100% accurate, but they've served me well over the years.

Earlier today, I spotted several of these on one guy. He was on a motorcycle, and I'd say I outweighed him by maybe 10 pounds at most (and I've mentioned a few times I could definitely stand to lose some weight). On his helmet he had a variety of decals. I got close enough to read a couple of them:

NO FAT CHICKS

YOUR LITTLE PRINCESS IS MY DIRTY LITTLE WHORE

I'm fairly comfortable assuming that the others I couldn't make out were in a similar vein.

Now, there's a fine chance that this gentleman is the salt of the earth, kind to animals and small children, gives generously to charity, and helps little old ladies across the street. But I doubt it.

As the old saying goes, "the race may not always go to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that's the way to bet."


Comments (9)

Wow. I spotted a "Don't Li... (Below threshold)
penny:

Wow. I spotted a "Don't Like My Driving - Dial 1-800-Eat-My-S**T" bumpersticker recently.

I was thinking after the third incredulously and careful read: could this idiot really have a mother?, friends?, an employer?, a parole officer?, a gun?. What gives meaning to his life? Why is he roaming freely among us? Who holds a copyright to a bumpersticker like that?

I wish you hadn't made me think about it again.

They might as well have a <... (Below threshold)

They might as well have a loser sticker.
I had a frame on my license plate for years that said:
I'M SORRY
IT'S ONLY ME
Chicks would drive up alongside and start up a conversation. I was married at the time.
I passed the car down to my oldest son. He ditched the frame first thing.

Ya outta see some of the ta... (Below threshold)

Ya outta see some of the tatoos gangbangers sport ...

The mug shot of one 5'4" hardcore included this little ditty, in appropriate scrolling script, visible on his shaved head: Hey bitch, I ain't the one.

I won't even start on what one NLR (nazi lowrider) guy on trial had tatted on various parts (including some very sensitive parts) of his body.

Yep..these idiots fulfill their own destiny by advertising to the world their utter assholiness.

Jay,If you need a ... (Below threshold)
mesablue:

Jay,

If you need a ride to the motorcycle dealership to pick up your new bike, I might be available.

Bring your own helmet.

Huh. I wonder what my "My H... (Below threshold)

Huh. I wonder what my "My Honor Student Beat Up France" bumpersticker says about me?

Cybrludite, not much. It's ... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Cybrludite, not much. It's really not that much to braga about. It's kind of like "my honor student can walk and chew gum at the same time."

J.

Is there a point to this po... (Below threshold)
Sherard:

Is there a point to this posting ? Not as far as I can see. Thanks for wasting those 2 minutes of my life.

The quote is Damon Runyon's... (Below threshold)
dchamil:

The quote is Damon Runyon's update on Ecclesiastes 9:11 "The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor riches to men of understanding ... but time and chance cometh to them all." Andy Rooney recently went a little farther, discarding some of the ten commandments he thought were unnecessary and updating the others.

"If you can read this, my o... (Below threshold)
snowballs:

"If you can read this, my old lady fell off"




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