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All the deferens in the world

I recently was contacted by an ex-girlfriend. After exchanging niceties, she got to the point: she wanted the name of the doctor who had performed a certain procedure on me for her new beau. I told her the doctor had moved out of New England, but gave her the name of said doctor's former practice.

Afterward, I started thinking. This woman had helped me to decide to have that procedure after describing her ex-husband's experience with it. She had held my hand (literally) through my own experience. And now she was gathering information for the new guy.

A dreadful thought occurred to me. Could this woman be on a mission to have that done to every man in the world, and she's working her way through us one at a time? Could she be capable of such an act?

I remembered her attempts to convert me to Judaism. One of the things holding me back was this ritual. I was not eager to allow even the "ritual shedding of a single drop of blood," despite her best attempts to persuade me.

Even then, it was clear: she was eminently capable of carrying out that plan. And I very well could have been a victim of it.

I wonder if I should warn Mr. Three-To-Be?


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Comments (18)

I now know more about you t... (Below threshold)
fatman:

I now know more about you than I ever wanted (or needed) to know.

I'm so glad that sundry ex'... (Below threshold)

I'm so glad that sundry ex's have only tried to do that to me metaphorically...

Dood ... her name wouldn't ... (Below threshold)
slim999:

Dood ... her name wouldn't be Lorena by any chance, would it?

when My ex.. who JT will ac... (Below threshold)
spelling sympathizer:

when My ex.. who JT will acknowledge someday as being a twit.. asked me out to dinner after our divorce, she proceded to tell me that the guy she was dating "Michael"( a good enough psuedonom) was going to start living with her, I said to her,. Are you sure you want to... everyguy you end up living with, you break up with after a few months. To which she responds.. Not true. look at us.. I took a moment.. a breath.. and with unexpected volume I pointed out the obvious " WE GOT DIVORCED!!!!" The point being, many times people keep trying to shape someone to their image outside of reality

Another point towards "is s... (Below threshold)

Another point towards "is she capable" - she either missed the memo that it was verboten to prostletize, or ignored it. If the latter, then I'd say she's more than capable.

You should warn him.... (Below threshold)

You should warn him.
If you don't, it could unmake a vas defrens.

A less conspiratorial take ... (Below threshold)
fooltomery:

A less conspiratorial take on your ex-girlfriend's slice-and-dice approach to her boyfriends: she doesn't want to have a baby and doesn't want to be the one who has to take precautions.

Viciousness is rarer than selfishness and laziness.

I think you are finally on ... (Below threshold)

I think you are finally on the right path.


Cindy

OMG, dude that was possibly... (Below threshold)

OMG, dude that was possibly the most awful thing I've ever seen. Forget about faces of death, or some of these absurdly raunchy websites. Vasectomy, ai, argh, jesus h. christ. that was paiful. wow.

Pardon me, but can't resist... (Below threshold)

Pardon me, but can't resist ...

Has this opened a vas gulf between you and your ex?

--|PW|--

Why do her husbands/boyfrie... (Below threshold)

Why do her husbands/boyfriends have to get the surgery? If she's the one doesn't want kids, there's a little thing called "tubal ligation."

And those two words would have been the first out of my mouth if a woman I was involved with started talking vasectomy to me.

Though, if I wanted kids, maybe I wouldn't have said anything but, "I'll call you sometime."

We are talking about a vase... (Below threshold)
Zsa Zsa:

We are talking about a vasectomy?... Aren't we?...I didn't let my husband do that! I didn't want to hurt him, so I got tube tied!

P.S. Jay tea! I think you ... (Below threshold)
Zsa Zsa:

P.S. Jay tea! I think you should tell her to get her tubes tied if she doesn't want children!... Meanwhile...That dude should be warned about her! Especially if they are not married! He might meet someone else someday!...

Good God Man! WARN THE GUY!... (Below threshold)

Good God Man! WARN THE GUY! Don't let that ex of yours do to him what she had you go through!!!!

You know, I think someone w... (Below threshold)
fatman:

You know, I think someone wrote a song about this. I forget who sang it, but it was called "What A Deferens A Day Makes".

Chances are she's just the ... (Below threshold)
Wendigo:

Chances are she's just the controlling type.

You gave up the possibility... (Below threshold)
Sue Dohnim:

You gave up the possibility of ever fathering a child because of a request from a non-spouse? But cutting off your foreskin, which has no effect on your ability to procreate or "recreate," was too much for you to take?

Something is not right with you.

I don't think vasectomies a... (Below threshold)

I don't think vasectomies are allowed by Jewish law.

Insisting on a vasectomy and a conversion is a bit like insisting on kosher slaughter for your ham sandwich.




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