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Let's hoist Ted Kennedy on his own jumbo-sized petard

In politics, it's traditional for every incumbent to say kind words about their challengers. They say the "welcome the opportunity" to put forth their positions and records, that they "look forward" to an exchange of ideas, and so on.

But I guess when you're Teddy Kennedy, you're above such behavior.

Recently, a Republican strategist commented that running against Ted Kennedy is a pretty good stepping-stone for ambitious politicians. Since Ted is so secure in his seat, the rival doesn't run too hard. In return, Ted doesn't maul them too badly. And in a couple of years, the defeated challenger can use that name-recognition to run for another office. That strategy worked for current governor Mitt Romney. Other would-be Senators went on to be state treasurer and GOP state chairman.

But no more. Kennedy stated yesterday that those days are past. He's already raised a massive warchest to defend his seat, and plans to triple it by the end of this week.

And I think there may be a sign or two that Teddy's babysitters -- er, "staffers" -- let him slip the leash and got into the liquor cabinet before 9 this time. Consider the following words straight from the Bloated Bloviator, the Drunken Skunk, he of the "blonde in the pond" fame:

"This is a difficult and challenging profession. No one should come to it lightly. As it should be. People have to be held accountable, professionally, and the public is looking at it in terms of private lives, as well. Everything is fair game." (Emphasis added)

I will give a Wizbang Grand Prize ($50.00 to the cause of your choice OR a posting on the topic of your choosing) if ANYONE can cite a case where Ted Kennedy has been "held accountable" for ANYTHING in his life, public or private. And in the Senior Senator (D-Chivas)'s own words, "Everything is fair game."

Now, fifty bucks might not sound like much, but that's nearly a day's take-home pay for me. I don't care. I'm putting it out there in full confidence that it will go unclaimed, because I've studied Teddy's sordid life.

And I hope someone planning to run against Kennedy takes that article and has it framed. Carries it with him (or her) and pulls it out at every opportunity. Uses that quote to collect every bit of dirt that's ever been slung about Ted Kennedy (and there's enough to fill a couple of landfills) and rams them right down his gaping throat.

It won't work, of course, but if it makes that disgusting waste of skin squirm even a little as he has to face the consequences of his fifty years of getting away with murder (figuratively, but in one case, manslaughter). Especially since he didn't just ask for it, he's begging for it.


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Comments (20)

I saw that title and though... (Below threshold)

I saw that title and thought, "Please God, no!"

Then I looked again and realized it said "petard," not "leotard."

It's too early in the morning for a scare like that, you know.

Jay, I apologize for not be... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

Jay, I apologize for not being up to the task of meeting your challenge. What will the psychological effect be on voters in the State of Mass when they are no longer able to exercise their Pavlovian conditioned reflexes to vote for a Kennedy for Senator. A friend from the State constantly reminds how attracted they are to him - because he is large enough to have his own gravitational field.

I'm with you Jay, I don't t... (Below threshold)
zach:

I'm with you Jay, I don't think Ted's ever been held accountable. However I had to comment to give you a much deserved accolade for the phrase "Senior Senator (D-Chivas)"

If only I could see that on CSPAN sometime, it would make my week.

It depends on your definiti... (Below threshold)

It depends on your definition of the word "accountable." Kennedy's 1980 presidential bid foundered and sank in part because of allegations leftover from Chappaquiddick.

--|PW|--

Alright, no Clintonian obfu... (Below threshold)

Alright, no Clintonian obfuscation here. Your challenge is:

I will give a Wizbang Grand Prize ($50.00 to the cause of your choice OR a posting on the topic of your choosing) if ANYONE can cite a case where Ted Kennedy has been "held accountable" for ANYTHING in his life, public or private. And in the Senior Senator (D-Chivas)'s own words, "Everything is fair game."

I reviewed the Chappaquiddick incident on Wikipedia and found that after the incident, Kennedy pleaded guilty to leaving the scene of an accident and was given a suspended sentence of two months. While a suspended sentence is not a large punishment, it IS, nevertheless, a method of holding a person accountable.

While this guilty plea and sentencing does not hold Kennedy accountable for any of a number of charges that might arise from an incident like Chappaquiddick, it nevertheless meets your stated criteria of Kennedy's being held accountable for "ANY" (emphasis yours) offense.

In Chappaquiddick, he was held accountable for leaving the scene of an auto accident.

--|PW|--

I apologize for triple-post... (Below threshold)

I apologize for triple-posting, but I also cite this document, which says that Kennedy has been held accountable for:

* Reckless driving (1958); and,
* Running a red light (1959).

May I claim my prize now?

--|PW|--

Sorry, Penny, but he was dr... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Sorry, Penny, but he was driving while his license had expired, was involved in a fatal car accident, fled the scene, and didn't report the accident. He got off with a two-month suspended sentence. That's hardly "paying the price." It doesn't even qualify as a wrist-slapping, but merely a waving of hands around the forearm area.

J.

Okay, Jay Tea, I've got ano... (Below threshold)

Okay, Jay Tea, I've got another account (from the same anti-Kennedy source) that says he was expelled from Harvard for cheating. A Salon article, in turn, says that Kennedy was "nearly expelled" for cheating.

Academic dismissal certainly seems a form of accounting ...

--|PW|--

I heard the expulsion thing... (Below threshold)
joe:

I heard the expulsion thing too. It didn't crimp his career, though.

I think Pennywit really wan... (Below threshold)

I think Pennywit really wants to win. Good luck.

As I recall, Kennedy was ex... (Below threshold)
Mike:

As I recall, Kennedy was expelled from Harvard because the school discovered that he hired another student to take an exam for him. (I believe it was a Spanish exam.)

Papa Joe got Teddy off the hook by convincing Harvard to allow Teddy and his friend to re-enroll if they exhibited responsible citizenship. He suggested that Teddy join the Army.

But not being exactly the brightest of the Kennedy Clan, Teddy joined for four years instead of the two year hitch ordered by his father. In true Laurel and Hardy fashion, Papa Joe had to pull strings AGAIN and got Teddy out of another fine mess by getting his hitch reduced from four years to two. He also saw to it that Teddy stayed away from combat in Korea and served in Europe.

He resumed his college studies after being discharged from the Army (as a private) and graduated from Harvard as an average student.

More at http://www.ytedk.com/scandals.htm

"Held Responsible", maybe, but it is a good bet that we "little people" would never get as many second chances as Teddy did.

Silver,Of course I... (Below threshold)

Silver,

Of course I want to win. I already have a couple topics picked out ...

--|PW|--

Does Mary Jo Kopechne have ... (Below threshold)
Robert:

Does Mary Jo Kopechne have any comment???

Wasn't Mr. Kennedy instrume... (Below threshold)
Tym:

Wasn't Mr. Kennedy instrumental in getting funding for Boston's BIG DIG project?

That same project that went 10-11 BILLION over [original] budget, and is currently bidding out contracts to counter severely leaking tunnels?

One wonders if there may be some repercussions over that apparent misstep...

His Mom once held him accou... (Below threshold)

His Mom once held him accountable for stealing cookies when he was 4. Since then.......

Wait a sec... Ted K... (Below threshold)
Russ:

Wait a sec... Ted Kennedy? You mean he's still alive?

I guess that speaks to the preservative power of alcohol.

[/tongue-in-cheek mode="slight"]

The closest Teddy came to b... (Below threshold)
Alicia:

The closest Teddy came to being accountable (but not by his hand), was the double hit at Harvard for cheating and paying someone. It was sorta cleaned up and the opportunity for him to return was offered.

Before I read the comments ... (Below threshold)
epador:

Before I read the comments I thought you were talking about financial statements. Teddy still has plenty of ah... ...countable accounts...

Mary Jo Kopechne would have... (Below threshold)
Bob:

Mary Jo Kopechne would have been 65 years old this July 26th. Lets all send Senator Kennedy a birthday card.

Food for thought:O... (Below threshold)
fatman:

Food for thought:

One the more interesting (if less believable), theories about Chappaquiddick is that Teddy wasn't in the car when it went off the bridge.

According to this theory (and I can't remember where I read it; sorry), when Teddy and Mary Jo left the party, they parked somewhere to make nice in the car. A passing police cruiser spooked them, so Teddy, not wanting to get involved in a scandal, got out of the car and walked (and swam) back to that part of the island where his hotel was. Mary Jo, meanwhile, was to drive the car back to the hotel. But due to her lack of familiarity with the bridge and her lack of experience in driving a big car, she drove the car off of the bridge. Teddy didn't find out about it until the next day.

According to the theory, Teddy then lied and said he was in the car because he didn't want to explain why he had gotten out and left Mary Jo on her own.

As I said, not very believable, but possible.




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