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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin
Published: July 8, 2005 - 10:25 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Knut Foppe, left, Darin Oestmann, center, with the National Park Service and Thorsten Mowes, right, rappel a sculpture of Thomas Jefferson's face to begin power washing Mount Rushmore National Monument, Thursday, July 7, 2005, near Keystone, S.D. (AP Photo/Doug Dreyer)


Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced (click link to read the winning entries). Comments are now closed.

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Comments (79)

The addition of George W. B... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Donnie | July 8, 2005 10:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Donnie:

The addition of George W. Bush to Mount Rushmore was the last straw...liberals began to fulfill their promises to leave the country in droves.

1. Posted by Donnie | July 8, 2005 10:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:34

"Final touches were done to... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by heymike | July 8, 2005 10:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
heymike:

"Final touches were done today on the Edward Kennedy addition to Mt. Rushm... Mr. Kennedy...Mr. Kennedy ..time to wake up sir...

2. Posted by heymike | July 8, 2005 10:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:34

Members of the Vast Right-W... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Yankee Sailor | July 8, 2005 10:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yankee Sailor:

Members of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy secretly plot to remove the face of the only Democrat from Mount Rushmore.

3. Posted by Yankee Sailor | July 8, 2005 10:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:40

Hey!! Who's this alien dude... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by BluesHarper | July 8, 2005 10:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BluesHarper:

Hey!! Who's this alien dude, over my shoulder? When was he President? Just how long have these faces been up here?

4. Posted by BluesHarper | July 8, 2005 10:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:42

Park workers begin converti... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Paul | July 8, 2005 10:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Paul:

Park workers begin converting Thomas Jefferson's face to Bill Clinton's by adding 42 feet of stone to the nose.

5. Posted by Paul | July 8, 2005 10:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:44

Ever since the Howard Dean ... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by bullwinkle | July 8, 2005 10:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
bullwinkle:

Ever since the Howard Dean was elected DNC chairman the crews have to come every day to wipe the tears from Jefferson's eyes. The same crew also tries to wipe the smiles off the other three faces but it's no use.

6. Posted by bullwinkle | July 8, 2005 10:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:44

Uncontent to slander only c... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by wavemaker | July 8, 2005 10:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
wavemaker:

Uncontent to slander only contemporary Republican Presidents, left-wing guerillas go to great lengths to poke Thomas Jefferson in the eye.

7. Posted by wavemaker | July 8, 2005 10:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:45

No, YOU clean out his nose!... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Ranten N. Raven | July 8, 2005 10:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ranten N. Raven:

No, YOU clean out his nose! I ain't going in there!

8. Posted by Ranten N. Raven | July 8, 2005 10:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:46

Three members from the Demo... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Norm | July 8, 2005 10:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm:

Three members from the Democratic Underground try to topple "symbols of oppression"...

9. Posted by Norm | July 8, 2005 10:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:50

DRUDGEBREAKING: Today most ... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 8, 2005 10:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

DRUDGEBREAKING: Today most Americans take the freedoms established by our forefathers for granite.

10. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 8, 2005 10:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:52

"Damn! How come I always h... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Eric | July 8, 2005 10:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric:

"Damn! How come I always have to pick his nose?"

11. Posted by Eric | July 8, 2005 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:53

Team America's support crew... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by elgato | July 8, 2005 10:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
elgato:

Team America's support crews adjust Gary's tangled lines.

12. Posted by elgato | July 8, 2005 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:53

"Hey guys?... I gotta take ... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by mojo | July 8, 2005 10:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
mojo:

"Hey guys?... I gotta take a leak."

13. Posted by mojo | July 8, 2005 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:53

If Jefferson hadn't made th... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by OneDrummer | July 8, 2005 10:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OneDrummer:

If Jefferson hadn't made that Louisana Purchase, I wouldn't have to trim his nose hairs each year!

14. Posted by OneDrummer | July 8, 2005 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:53

"We've run out of Botox and... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Laurence Simon | July 8, 2005 10:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

"We've run out of Botox and this guy's still not looking like Kerry."

15. Posted by Laurence Simon | July 8, 2005 10:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:54

"Trim a little here, add a ... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Eric | July 8, 2005 10:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric:

"Trim a little here, add a little there and ... Yes we can change Jefferson into George W. Bush."

16. Posted by Eric | July 8, 2005 10:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:58

Damn it, I wish Spiderman w... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by David | July 8, 2005 10:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
David:

Damn it, I wish Spiderman would do his webslinging elsewhere.

17. Posted by David | July 8, 2005 10:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 10:59

I wish spiderman would take... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by David | July 8, 2005 11:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
David:

I wish spiderman would take his webslinging elsewhere.

18. Posted by David | July 8, 2005 11:02 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:02

Glenn Reynolds' latest blog... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by frank | July 8, 2005 11:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
frank:

Glenn Reynolds' latest blog: "History of Nanotechnology" includes pictures of the lilipution's attempt to kidnap Jefferson in 1803.

19. Posted by frank | July 8, 2005 11:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:06

Realizing that they have no... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Ikkonoishi | July 8, 2005 11:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ikkonoishi:

Realizing that they have no other chance of winning elections, the DNC retrieves their secret weapon hidden for centuries in Mount Rushmore.

Soon the Necronomicon will be unleashed.

The dead shall rise... and VOTE DEMOCRAT!

20. Posted by Ikkonoishi | July 8, 2005 11:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:10

Bill pauses below his colle... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by a4g | July 8, 2005 11:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
a4g:

Bill pauses below his collegues, trying to remember if the Mummy was the President directly before or after Polk.

21. Posted by a4g | July 8, 2005 11:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:23

1-2-3. Uh, hey guys, we lo... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Editor | July 8, 2005 11:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Editor:

1-2-3. Uh, hey guys, we lost our sherpa.

22. Posted by Editor | July 8, 2005 11:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:25

[BEGIN SMURF THEME SONG] L... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Matt | July 8, 2005 11:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Matt:

[BEGIN SMURF THEME SONG] La La La-La La La, La La-La La La....[END SMURF THEME SONG]

23. Posted by Matt | July 8, 2005 11:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:25

The two guys on the forehea... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Bruce | July 8, 2005 11:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bruce:

The two guys on the forehead are democrats. One says to the other “No it’s ok with me, he’s a Republican, so go head an cut his line. People watching will just think Jefferson sneezed.”

24. Posted by Bruce | July 8, 2005 11:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:28

No, really! Michael Moore ... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | July 8, 2005 11:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Medcalf:

No, really! Michael Moore exploded just about here!

25. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | July 8, 2005 11:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:32

DRUDGE EXCLUSIVE!!: Picture... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | July 8, 2005 11:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Medcalf:

DRUDGE EXCLUSIVE!!: Pictures of the real Team America in training.

26. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | July 8, 2005 11:33 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:33

Justice Ginsberg attempting... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by kbiel | July 8, 2005 11:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kbiel:

Justice Ginsberg attempting to form an originalist opinion; sends a team of clerks to research Thomas Jefferson's thoughts on Roe V. Wade and McCain-Feingold.

27. Posted by kbiel | July 8, 2005 11:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:48

Leahy, Kennedy and Schumer ... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by DWC | July 8, 2005 11:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DWC:

Leahy, Kennedy and Schumer compared to their predecessors (all figures shown actual size).

28. Posted by DWC | July 8, 2005 11:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 11:51

Scientologists objected to ... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by joe | July 8, 2005 12:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
joe:

Scientologists objected to the routine Park Service maintenance of the monument, saying there were no such things as cracks and wear and that all the monument's problems could be solved with vitamins and expensive auditing.

29. Posted by joe | July 8, 2005 12:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 12:03

We're in position; winch do... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Lord Floppington | July 8, 2005 12:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lord Floppington:

We're in position; winch down the giant hankie!

30. Posted by Lord Floppington | July 8, 2005 12:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 12:07

Once again, liberal revisio... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Peter | July 8, 2005 12:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter:

Once again, liberal revisionists try to change the face of history.

31. Posted by Peter | July 8, 2005 12:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 12:27

The latest in an elite team... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by The WASP | July 8, 2005 12:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The WASP:

The latest in an elite team of the booger patrol show off their skills.

32. Posted by The WASP | July 8, 2005 12:32 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 12:32

NBC's Brian Williams<... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by The WASP | July 8, 2005 12:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The WASP:

NBC's Brian Williams

Andrea here we have park emloyees working on monuments to Americas founding terrorists.

indeed Brian.

33. Posted by The WASP | July 8, 2005 12:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 12:35

Workers provide critical ma... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Fersboo | July 8, 2005 12:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fersboo:

Workers provide critical maintenance to Dr. Evil's newest lair.

34. Posted by Fersboo | July 8, 2005 12:46 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 12:46

Shortly after rendering the... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Right of Center | July 8, 2005 12:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Right of Center:

Shortly after rendering their decision in the Kelo v. New London case, Supreme Court Justices Stevens, Ginsburg and Bryer, in an impressive display of both agility and consistency, begin to cut off Jefferson's nose to spite his face. Justices Kennedy and Souter (not pictured) shout encouragement from below.

35. Posted by Right of Center | July 8, 2005 12:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 12:51

Bullwinkle wins. Right of ... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by SilverBubble | July 8, 2005 1:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SilverBubble:

Bullwinkle wins. Right of Center gets second.

36. Posted by SilverBubble | July 8, 2005 1:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 13:25

"Hey, this mountain kinda l... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Will Franklin | July 8, 2005 1:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Will Franklin:

"Hey, this mountain kinda looks like a face. Neat."

37. Posted by Will Franklin | July 8, 2005 1:44 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 13:44

relax guys, the nose is the... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Norm | July 8, 2005 1:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm:

relax guys, the nose is the easy - climbing over the penis was the hard part...

38. Posted by Norm | July 8, 2005 1:46 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 13:46

National Park Service emplo... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Jeff | July 8, 2005 1:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

National Park Service employee Kenneth prepares to remove boulders from Thomas Jefferson's nose and put them on E-Bay.

39. Posted by Jeff | July 8, 2005 1:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 13:51

Doctors inspect Thomas Jeff... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Jeff | July 8, 2005 1:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Doctors inspect Thomas Jefferson's face as he prepares to be the next patient on Dr.90210

40. Posted by Jeff | July 8, 2005 1:59 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 13:59

"Hell, this one's easy. Wai... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Rance | July 8, 2005 2:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rance:

"Hell, this one's easy. Wait 'til you have to wax the eyebrows over on Roosevelt."

41. Posted by Rance | July 8, 2005 2:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 14:08

"Man, when they said they w... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by Chrees | July 8, 2005 2:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chrees:

"Man, when they said they were going to change the nickle, I didn't think they would make them this difficult to carry around! "

42. Posted by Chrees | July 8, 2005 2:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 14:37

Ted Kennedy: "Look over the... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by BronxPundit | July 8, 2005 2:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BronxPundit:

Ted Kennedy: "Look over there. It's Bin Laden under Roosevelt's nose."

Howard Dean: "You're right. Look at him. Quiet with a big stick. Under our very nose."

George Galloway: (he shouts from the tip of Jefferson's nose): "Let's leave him there. Like Roosevelt said: 'A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough to be given a square deal afterwards.' "

43. Posted by BronxPundit | July 8, 2005 2:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 14:38

An "ear, nose and throat" s... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by pennywit | July 8, 2005 2:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
pennywit:

An "ear, nose and throat" specialist's worst nightmare.

--|PW|--

44. Posted by pennywit | July 8, 2005 2:54 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 14:54

Who are those guys?<... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by Val Prieto | July 8, 2005 3:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Val Prieto:

Who are those guys?

45. Posted by Val Prieto | July 8, 2005 3:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 15:02

"It's bad enough that we ha... (Below threshold)

46. Posted by McGriff | July 8, 2005 3:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGriff:

"It's bad enough that we have to trim their eyebrows, but Lincoln gets a backwax next week!"

46. Posted by McGriff | July 8, 2005 3:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 15:27

"Look lady. No is no. I'm s... (Below threshold)

47. Posted by Ingress | July 8, 2005 3:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ingress:

"Look lady. No is no. I'm simply not going to roll up in a ball and get inside the nose hole and try to look like a booger so you can take your funny picture. And that's final."

47. Posted by Ingress | July 8, 2005 3:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 15:41

What sort of bug is that on... (Below threshold)

48. Posted by Dadgum | July 8, 2005 3:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dadgum:

What sort of bug is that on my nose?

48. Posted by Dadgum | July 8, 2005 3:44 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 15:44

After extensive lobbying fr... (Below threshold)

49. Posted by tony | July 8, 2005 3:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tony:

After extensive lobbying from the NAACP, workers begin to transform the monument into busts of Washintgon, Roosevelt, Lincoln and GEORGE Jefferson.

49. Posted by tony | July 8, 2005 3:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 15:52

Guy on Top (Left): "Johnso... (Below threshold)

50. Posted by Faith+1 | July 8, 2005 4:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

Guy on Top (Left): "Johnson, you jump off the nose one more time and go "wheeeeee", Conners here will cut your rope."

Guy on Top (Right) (Conners): "I swear to God Johnson, once I grab this rope your ass is gone."

50. Posted by Faith+1 | July 8, 2005 4:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 16:14

Everybody must get stoned.<... (Below threshold)

51. Posted by Aaron's cc: | July 8, 2005 4:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Aaron's cc::

Everybody must get stoned.

51. Posted by Aaron's cc: | July 8, 2005 4:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 16:23

"Hey, if SCOTUS says the... (Below threshold)

52. Posted by McGehee | July 8, 2005 4:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

"Hey, if SCOTUS says the Law of the Land ain't carved in stone, why should these guys be? Now let's place these charges and blow this thing up."

52. Posted by McGehee | July 8, 2005 4:39 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 16:39

The MSM hit squad misunders... (Below threshold)

53. Posted by McGehee | July 8, 2005 4:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

The MSM hit squad misunderstood their instructions -- they were supposed to be looking for bloggers.

53. Posted by McGehee | July 8, 2005 4:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 16:41

I thought you tied Senator ... (Below threshold)

54. Posted by Stephen Macklin | July 8, 2005 5:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

I thought you tied Senator Durbin's line.

54. Posted by Stephen Macklin | July 8, 2005 5:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 17:05

(lowest guy) "Bob. Jim. 4... (Below threshold)

55. Posted by Mongo | July 8, 2005 5:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mongo:

(lowest guy) "Bob. Jim. 4 words. Say no to crack."

55. Posted by Mongo | July 8, 2005 5:46 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 17:46

"Dandruff!"(When y... (Below threshold)

56. Posted by Fishosaur.com | July 8, 2005 6:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fishosaur.com:

"Dandruff!"

(When you're hiking or climbing and you let loose a rock you yell out "rock!")

56. Posted by Fishosaur.com | July 8, 2005 6:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 18:02

Seconds after being sworn i... (Below threshold)

57. Posted by jmaster | July 8, 2005 6:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jmaster:

Seconds after being sworn into office, President Hillary Clinton pulls off her moderate’s mask, laughs a deep, evil laugh, and orders all monuments to male oppression be destroyed.

57. Posted by jmaster | July 8, 2005 6:10 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 18:10

After many years of visitor... (Below threshold)

58. Posted by Daniel Shearon | July 8, 2005 6:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Daniel Shearon:

After many years of visitors to the monument unsuccessfully using the casual, quick nostril swipe, to bring polite attention to the problem, a crew is dispatched to "Take care of the Dangler"

58. Posted by Daniel Shearon | July 8, 2005 6:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 18:50

The latest group of Jeffers... (Below threshold)

59. Posted by jblair | July 8, 2005 7:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jblair:

The latest group of Jefferson biographers try to get inside his head to gain new insight into this key founding father.

59. Posted by jblair | July 8, 2005 7:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 19:16

Reid, Pelosi, and Durbin st... (Below threshold)

60. Posted by McCain | July 8, 2005 7:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Reid, Pelosi, and Durbin stand tall among the giants of history.

60. Posted by McCain | July 8, 2005 7:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 19:22

Ha, Ha, Joey's got to clean... (Below threshold)

61. Posted by John Burgess | July 8, 2005 7:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John Burgess:

Ha, Ha, Joey's got to clean the boogers! That'll teach him to go scabbing around!

61. Posted by John Burgess | July 8, 2005 7:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 19:25

Drunk aliens attempt a curi... (Below threshold)

62. Posted by McCain | July 8, 2005 7:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Drunk aliens attempt a curious abduction.

62. Posted by McCain | July 8, 2005 7:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 19:26

You can pick your friends..... (Below threshold)

63. Posted by Madfish Willie | July 8, 2005 9:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Madfish Willie:

You can pick your friends... and you can pick your nose... but you can't pick your friend's nose.

63. Posted by Madfish Willie | July 8, 2005 9:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 21:11

"Last one down has to pick ... (Below threshold)

64. Posted by slaphappy | July 8, 2005 9:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
slaphappy:

"Last one down has to pick the big nos!"

(I haven't read all 63 entries so my apologies if mine is not an original).

64. Posted by slaphappy | July 8, 2005 9:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 21:53

"Last one down has to pick ... (Below threshold)

65. Posted by slaphappy | July 8, 2005 9:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
slaphappy:

"Last one down has to pick the big nose!"

(I haven't read all 63 entries so my apologies if mine is not an original).

65. Posted by slaphappy | July 8, 2005 9:54 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 21:54

Gulliver: "you fuck... (Below threshold)

66. Posted by McCain | July 8, 2005 11:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Gulliver:
"you fuckin' Lilliputins are gonna pay for this!"

66. Posted by McCain | July 8, 2005 11:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 8, 2005 23:25

They say that big men love ... (Below threshold)

67. Posted by McCain | July 9, 2005 12:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

They say that big men love bondage.

67. Posted by McCain | July 9, 2005 12:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 00:20

With the left distracted by... (Below threshold)

68. Posted by Greg | July 9, 2005 12:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Greg:

With the left distracted by a Supreme Court nomination, Dick Cheney dispatches an elite team of Haliburton prospectors to drill for oil on federal lands.

or

Christo's workers begin to install his latest artistic vision of multi-colored pirate eye patches on our Founding Fathers.

68. Posted by Greg | July 9, 2005 12:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 00:22

Holy Shit...... OK SO DID Y... (Below threshold)

69. Posted by I`m Batman | July 9, 2005 12:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I`m Batman:

Holy Shit...... OK SO DID YOU CHECK THE NEW GUYS HARNESS OR NOT???????

69. Posted by I`m Batman | July 9, 2005 12:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 00:42

"So, what happens when you ... (Below threshold)

70. Posted by joe | July 9, 2005 3:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
joe:

"So, what happens when you pop a granite zit?"

"We're about to find out."

70. Posted by joe | July 9, 2005 3:01 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 03:01

How many park rangers does ... (Below threshold)

71. Posted by Sam Pender | July 9, 2005 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sam Pender:

How many park rangers does it take to pick a President's nose?

Answer 3

71. Posted by Sam Pender | July 9, 2005 10:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 10:00

Park rangers try to remove ... (Below threshold)

72. Posted by Roger Fraley | July 9, 2005 12:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Roger Fraley:

Park rangers try to remove the obscene grafitti left by Eva Marie Saint and Martin Landau at a drunken wrap party nearly half a century before.

or

South Dakota teens relieve the extreme boredom of their lives by presidentail face rappelling after bong hits.


72. Posted by Roger Fraley | July 9, 2005 12:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 12:50

Interns from Congresswomen ... (Below threshold)

73. Posted by Porkopolis | July 9, 2005 3:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Porkopolis:

Interns from Congresswomen Pelosi's office attempt to uncover the mystery of the Botox-free fountain of youth.

All hope is lost when it's uncovered that principled leadership is at its core.

73. Posted by Porkopolis | July 9, 2005 3:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 15:12

"Simon Says, make like Al G... (Below threshold)

74. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 9, 2005 3:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Simon Says, make like Al Gore."
"Sorry George, you're out, you don't look stiff enough."

74. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 9, 2005 3:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 15:22

LIncoln, Jefferson, and Roo... (Below threshold)

75. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 9, 2005 5:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

LIncoln, Jefferson, and Roosevelt stifle their laughter as Washington erects a monument, due to the appearance of Paris Hilton.

75. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 9, 2005 5:15 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 9, 2005 17:15

"Hey Fred, hand me the feat... (Below threshold)

76. Posted by icemaniceman | July 10, 2005 10:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
icemaniceman:

"Hey Fred, hand me the feather", "No way Joe, the last guy who tried that died a horrible death after being blasted by 50 lb. granite boggers and launched over a half a mile."

76. Posted by icemaniceman | July 10, 2005 10:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 10, 2005 10:52

The “Queer Eye for the Stra... (Below threshold)

77. Posted by jmaster | July 10, 2005 3:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jmaster:

The “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” team takes on their biggest makeover project ever.

77. Posted by jmaster | July 10, 2005 3:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 10, 2005 15:23

ha jmaster, that is a worth... (Below threshold)

78. Posted by McCain | July 10, 2005 3:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

ha jmaster, that is a worthy entry.

78. Posted by McCain | July 10, 2005 3:39 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 10, 2005 15:39

Update: <... (Below threshold)

79. Posted by Kevin | July 11, 2005 1:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin:

Update: Winners announced (click link to read the winning entries). Comments are now closed.

79. Posted by Kevin | July 11, 2005 1:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on July 11, 2005 01:55


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