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Beating the rap

One of my neighbors has the habit blasting his Gangsta Rap out of his car. LOUDLY. It's been an annoyance for a while, but only recently have I had the means to retaliate.

The Shaggin' Wagon has the Premium Sound System, with an Alpine 6-CD changer under the 3rd seat. And I think that it's time to give the brain-damaged punk wannabe a little payback.

So I'm looking for some suggestions for tunes. The Shaggin' Wagon will accept home-made CDs, so I'm thinking of burning a collection of music that'll bug the crap out of him and maybe -- just maybe -- get him to turn it down a little.

So far, I've been poking through my music collection and seeing what sorts of songs might do the trick. My main criteria are 1) it has to open loudly, and B) it has to be virtually guaranteed to chafe the ass of a gangsta rapper fan.

These are the ones I'm thinking of so far:

1) Meat Loaf -- Life Is A Lemon (And I Want My Money Back)
2) Queen -- Princes Of The Universe

3) Strauss -- Also Sprach Zarathustra (2001 Theme)

4) Weird Al Yankovic -- Amish Paradise

5) Weird Al Yankovic -- It's All About The Pentiums

6) Glen Larson -- Battlestar Galactica Theme (Original Series)

7) Genesis -- Mama

8) Genesis -- Illegal Alien (just for the irony)

9) Mike & The Mechanics -- Word Of Mouth

10) Louis Armstrong -- What A Wonderful World

11) Genesis -- Man Of Our Times

12) Bobby McFerrin -- Don't Worry, Be Happy

That's my Dirty Dozen. If anyone else has any suggestions, I'm eager to hear them. The lout MUST be answered.


Comments (145)

- Anything by Barry Manilow... (Below threshold)

- Anything by Barry Manilow at full volume over and over and over, intersparsed with selections from the "Vulcan love themes" featuring Leonard Nemoy on vocals, or Rosemary Clooney's rousing rendention of "Come-on-a-my-house"...(ear-plugs manditory to protect your sanity).....

Come on Big Bang Hunter, he... (Below threshold)

Come on Big Bang Hunter, he doesn't want to drive himself crazy.

Rod Stewart - <a href="http... (Below threshold)
John:

Rod Stewart - Hot Legs

What about "Hangin Tough" b... (Below threshold)

What about "Hangin Tough" by the New Kids on the Block?

Damn, it's scary that I actually thought that up...

Dixies Midnight Runner - Co... (Below threshold)
Ron:

Dixies Midnight Runner - Come On Ilene

I just cannot get this song out of my head.

I've got a worse one, Ron..... (Below threshold)

I've got a worse one, Ron... Men Without Hats... Pop Goes The World!

<a href="http://www.smokinm... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:
That should do it.... (Below threshold)
bullwinkle:

That should do it.

1) Just about anything by R... (Below threshold)
DennisThePeasant:

1) Just about anything by Richard Wagner...especially if it is from the Ring Cycle...will make the punk (and just everyone else) break out in hives.

2) Don Ho's "Tiny Bubbles".

3) Anything by Tom Jones...especially "What's New Pussycat?".

4) Public Image Limited (that would be post-Sex Pistols Johnny Rotten) had a wonderful hit called "Death Disco". It could be appropriate in this circumstance.

5) Polka Music.

I'd throw in:<... (Below threshold)


I'd throw in:

Todd Rundgren
Monkees
HR Pufnstuf theme song
Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack

Chris
http://amateureconblog.blogspot.com/

Bagpipe music is effective.... (Below threshold)
Hvywgt:

Bagpipe music is effective. I've shut down a couple of boomers when they hear it playing from
a motorcycle. But inclusion in the strange tracks CD should be Tiny Tim's version of "Hey Jude".

Ride of the Valkyries. Bee... (Below threshold)

Ride of the Valkyries. Beethoven's Fifth. The 1812 Overture. Anything by Vanilla Ice.

--|PW|--

With a great big white whal... (Below threshold)
Eric:

With a great big white whale like that car, my suggestion is Moby Dick by Led Zeppelin.

I second the motions for Wa... (Below threshold)

I second the motions for Wagner. My roommate in St Paul used to have his stereo set up to play "the ride of the Valkyries" at 7:00 in the morning. Great alarm clock.

Or what about Lawrence Welk?

Try this guy:<a hr... (Below threshold)
rita:
Go eclectic! Throw in Buddh... (Below threshold)

Go eclectic! Throw in Buddhist and/or Gregorian chants, Scott Joplin, Flossie and the Unicorns, Sousa marches, Big Mess Orchestra, klezmer music, Laibach, Scruggs & Flatt. Include any album you can find recorded in support of a TV show - the Bradys, Happy Days, etc. And polka - lots of polka.

Yeah, that will work. I wa... (Below threshold)

Yeah, that will work. I was thinking more along the lines of Ozzy - Crazy Train. Nice and loud at the beginning.

How about Debbie Boone's "Y... (Below threshold)
goddessoftheclassroom:

How about Debbie Boone's "You Light Up My Life"?

Sex Pistols, Never Mind The... (Below threshold)

Sex Pistols, Never Mind The Bollocks.

If you really want to drive... (Below threshold)
Santay:

If you really want to drive him nuts play the theme song from Jeopardy over and over.

3 words: John Phillips Sous... (Below threshold)
Marty:

3 words: John Phillips Sousa

Let us not forget "It's a S... (Below threshold)
Paul:

Let us not forget "It's a Small World After All."

Warren Zevon - They Moved T... (Below threshold)

Warren Zevon - They Moved The moon

Never mind Debbie Boone, ju... (Below threshold)
Palmateer:

Never mind Debbie Boone, just try ANYTHING by her Dad, Pat.

"Spanish Flea" by Herb Alpe... (Below threshold)
Schwerv:

"Spanish Flea" by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass

No, no, no. So many bad ch... (Below threshold)

No, no, no. So many bad choices -- hell, the idiot may actually like some of these songs!

There's one answer, and one answer only:

Close to You, by The Carpenters. On loop.

That Terrible, Awful Willy ... (Below threshold)
J-Ho:

That Terrible, Awful Willy Wonka song from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Can't! Get! It! Out! Of! My! Head!!!!!

"willy wonka, willy wonka, that amazing chocolatier!"

AGGGGGGHHHHHHHH

That should do it.

What? No Tom Waits on the ... (Below threshold)
LoadTheMule:

What? No Tom Waits on the list? Shame on you.

Regards...

Paul Anka just did an album... (Below threshold)
taz:

Paul Anka just did an album that covers some great songs, but completely ruins them. Like vanHalen's Jump; Nirvana's 'smells like teen spirit'...on an on.
It's horrible, I actually thought it was Frankie

Three surefire winners:... (Below threshold)

Three surefire winners:

"Take A Chance On Me" by ABBA

"Don't Stop Me Know" by Queen

"Mr Roboto" by Styx


I've always found the 1812 ... (Below threshold)
Miriam:

I've always found the 1812 Overture effective.

Of course you realize those... (Below threshold)

Of course you realize those Weird Al songs may well get you shot by your average gangsta rap fan. (Especially Amish Paradise, which Coolio himself was rather miffed about.)

Better throw in "Couch Potato" from the Poodle Hat album, too.

Three words : Reel. Big. ... (Below threshold)

Three words : Reel. Big. Fish.

They are so damned loud to begin with (and enjoyable!), it just has to drive that guy crazy. Plus, its ska, and everybody hates ska ('cept for me).

Geez what a lame list! You ... (Below threshold)
MIkeN:

Geez what a lame list! You need some Motorhead in that CD player!!

Carl Orff's Carmina Burana,... (Below threshold)
DJ:

Carl Orff's Carmina Burana, blasting 'O Fortuna' would be nice in a excorcist sort of way.

The album of cats screechin... (Below threshold)
dfbaskwill:

The album of cats screeching Chistmas songs ought to do it

Gotta get Mambo #5... (Below threshold)
trentk269:

Gotta get Mambo #5

Beating him with decent mus... (Below threshold)
joe:

Beating him with decent music: Def Leppard, either the Hysteria or Pyromania albums. I won a dorm stereo war with Hysteria once.

Beating him with annoyance: "In the Year 2525" by whoever the hell inflicted it on us all. Or "Seasons in the Sun." Or Leonard Nimoy singing "Proud Mary."

Carly Simon's "Your so Vain... (Below threshold)
rick13:

Carly Simon's "Your so Vain"!

I have an hour long CD that has the soothing sounds of the Humpback Whale and one that has thunderstorms on it. Let me know if you want them!

What's wrong with "Hot Legs... (Below threshold)
rick13:

What's wrong with "Hot Legs"?

I have a few mp3's with Pat Boone singing Ozzy Osbourne songs. Again, just let me know!

A few years ago the kid who... (Below threshold)
kevino:

A few years ago the kid who lived upstairs had the place to himself when his parents were out. He played his stereo full-on. I don't know what he had, but my stereo was more powerful.

I put on the ear protection I use at the gun range, turned the stereo full on, and looked for a CD to get his attention. I wanted something loud -- a shrill, schrieking sound that hits the inner ear like a hot soldering iron -- something impossible to ignore and something that will drive the kid crazy in seconds.

I found an old CD from my first wife: Barbara Streisand's greatest hits. I've forgotten what I played -- if "played" is the right word. I "played" it for about fifteen seconds, then turned my stero down to listen. He had turned his down -- WAY DOWN.

Barbara Streisand is Mutually-Assured Destruction in home audio.

Im just going to declare my... (Below threshold)
bender:

Im just going to declare my suggestion the winner.. simply because someone did this to me once:

and endless loop of "thank god im a country boy."

Big & Rich: "Wild West Show... (Below threshold)

Big & Rich: "Wild West Show."

Though I have a feeling the Bobby McFerrin tune would be all you really need.

DJ took my main choice, Orf... (Below threshold)
Sue Dohnim:

DJ took my main choice, Orff's Carmina Burana - O Fortuna. You have to fast forward 1 minute and 40 seconds to get to the good part.

hatless got my second choice, Gregorian chants. I recommend The Best of the Benedictine Monks of St. Michael's. Track 2 (Salve Sanctus Parens) is particularly effective.

I love watching rap-blasters tilt their heads like the confused RCA dogs when they hear that stuff.

Derick & the Dominoes "Layl... (Below threshold)

Derick & the Dominoes "Layla" -- power opening, the piano out is really nice when it is really loud

The word "Polka" comes to m... (Below threshold)
Yogurt:

The word "Polka" comes to mind :)

So many good suggestions ..... (Below threshold)
Phinn:

So many good suggestions ...

But you really can't go wrong with Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.

I once had a neighbor who p... (Below threshold)
JBrickley:

I once had a neighbor who played extremely loud ethnic spanish music all freaking day long starting in the morning until dinner time. I worked nights so it generally woke me up every day! There was no complaining about it either, she didn't speak english!

Ethnic Music! Ethnic Music, I'll give her some Ethnic Music! So to get even I moved the sub-woofer and speakers closer to the wall that divided us and setup an auto-repeat track on the cd player and an auto-off for 5 hours later. I set the timer for 3am. It was set to go off for the next 3 days in a row. I placed a bagpipe CD in the player and then went on vacation!

She was awoken at 3am till 8am each of the three consecutive days by unfamiliar ethnic music that looped the CD track endlessly for five hours straight! The chosen track?
Victoria Police Pipe Band - Live in the Rockies - "The Hellbound Train". Sounds like an insane version of Ozzie's Crazy Train! Like speed metal bagpipers!

Suffice to say, she got the message and stopped playing her music so damn loud every morning.

'Billy was a Mountain' by F... (Below threshold)
Toby928:

'Billy was a Mountain' by Frank Zappa and the MOE.

"Billy was a mountain. Ethel was a tree growing off of his shoulder"

Loop the the entire A side.

Tob

Liza Minelli's version of "... (Below threshold)
DWC:

Liza Minelli's version of "New York".

Mick Jagger's "Angie" - my regard for The Stones notwithstanding, this tune stands as Exhibit A for evidence of the existence of payola in the radio broadcasting industry. Absolutely one of the worst things ever recorded.

Any bluegrass music ought to do the trick.

Anything by Hank Williams S... (Below threshold)

Anything by Hank Williams Sr. or Jr.

Especially, "A Country Boy Will Survive."

OT to Scott Ferguson -- did... (Below threshold)
Vanshalar:

OT to Scott Ferguson -- did your roommate ever go to Caltech?

At Caltech, it's a tradition to blast "Ride of the Valkyries" at 7 am during finals week -- and only during finals week. At any other time (or day), the person is likely to get showered if he plays the thing.

I don't got that much in the way of *specific* suggestions, but I'd recommend:

* anything by Britney Spears
* anything classical
* anything from things like Final Fantasy or Star Trek/Star Wars
* Gregorian chants
* Chinese opera (seriously, have you heard it before?)
* heck, Italian opera might be good too
* I can come up with this type of stuff all day (and they'd all be just as bad)

Have you people actually li... (Below threshold)

Have you people actually listened to rap music lately? Rappers sample most of the suggested songs! If you want loud, obnoxious, and certain to get ears bleeding, I would suggest:

1) Ministry (stigmata)
2) Nine Inch Nails (wish, happiness in slavery)
3) Metallica (pre Black Album)
4) Filter (hey man, nice shot comes to mind)
5) Megadeth

Or, go with Enya, John Tesh, or Vangelis. If you can stand 'em.

Opera! Why hasn't anyone me... (Below threshold)

Opera! Why hasn't anyone mentioned opera? Any "traditional" opera will do. A local convenience store used to keep the local mouth-breathing slackers from hanging around out front (and thereby blocking foot traffic) by blaring out recordings of "Aida" and "The Marriage of Figaro."

Polka music is good, too, as has been mentioned. I imagine traditional Chinese music would also do the trick as well.

How about "Muskrat Love" an... (Below threshold)
Scott:

How about "Muskrat Love" and the Oscar Meyer bologna theme song?

Richard Cheese's version of... (Below threshold)
Mark:

Richard Cheese's version of Down With the Sickness!

Or Paul's suggestion: It's a Small World

"Afternoon Delight" - Starl... (Below threshold)

"Afternoon Delight" - Starland Vocal Band

I knew a guy who had a tape... (Below threshold)
joe:

I knew a guy who had a tape of an airliner landing. He used to stick his speakers in his window and watch passers-by four floors below duck and look around wildly for the jet.

Otto Titsling by Bette Midl... (Below threshold)

Otto Titsling by Bette Midler

(don't ask me why I know this song)

Pink Floyd's "Careful With ... (Below threshold)
Andrew burton:

Pink Floyd's "Careful With That Axe Eugene" fast forward to the part where it starts screaming!

KICKSTART MY HEART by Motle... (Below threshold)

KICKSTART MY HEART by Motley Crue!

Ya gotta do the pipes - <a ... (Below threshold)
Allium:

Ya gotta do the pipes - http://www.therogues.com/sound/

or the soundtrack to Braveheart and Last of the Mohegans.

Other favorites include Theme to clockwork orange, Patton, Pulp fiction.

Actually have the above on a mix CD which works great in bumper to bumper DC traffic.

Wait, I almpst forgot: that... (Below threshold)
joe:

Wait, I almpst forgot: that "Gloria" song from the early '80s.

Followed up by Olivia Newton-John's "Physical."

Wear ear protection normally associated with pneumatic hammers.

An endless barrage of old t... (Below threshold)
Owen:

An endless barrage of old time traditional Country & Western....the whinier the better
Kitty Wells - Heartbreak USA (Steel GITTar version)
Kitty Wells - Making Believe
(Make sure you play the Kitty Wells back-to-back, it enhances the effect)
Johnny Horton - Battle of 1812
Farron Young - Hello Walls
Merle Haggard - Okie From Muskogee
Jeanee Pruitt - Satin Sheets
Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty - After the Fire is Gone
Merle Haggard - The Fightin' Side of Me
Faron Young - The Wings of the Dove
Red Sovine - anything...it doesn't matter
Tammy Wynette - D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Tammy Wynette - Stand By Your Man (Again back to back...the order is essential)
and if you wanna nukem...
Nancy Sinatra - These Boots
show no mercy

You need Golden Gassers fro... (Below threshold)
SJBill:

You need Golden Gassers from the Past!

1. Toccata and Fugue in D minor, BWV538, performedby Michael Murray (organ), the Telarc recording.

2. Carl Orff's Carmina Burana, with the Atlanta Symphony and it's HUGE bass drum, also Telarc.

3. A Love Supreme, by John Coltrane, Impulse.

Rock may be tolerated by rappers. Blast him with stuff you can enjoy.


Anything by J Lo. The check... (Below threshold)
Sony executive:

Anything by J Lo. The check is in the mail.

SLIM WHITMAN. There is no ... (Below threshold)
texaskatey:

SLIM WHITMAN. There is no other choice.

Remember, it made the the Martian's heads explode in that dreadful movie, "Mars Attacks!". Surely it will have an equally interesting effect on your gangsta rappin' neighbor!

Unless he shoots you.

katey

How about the "Beer Barrel ... (Below threshold)
Hangtown Bob:

How about the "Beer Barrel Polka", played by accordian with the Lawrence Welk Orchestra? Or....., "It's a Small Small World" which has driven generations of adults nuts at Disney World.

I think anything by <a href... (Below threshold)
kbiel:

I think anything by Ween should be enough to get his attention.

Cruel bastards! Ch... (Below threshold)
Phinn:

Cruel bastards!

Chinese opera?

Bagpipes?

The man's trying to annoy his neighbor, not kill him.

"Afternoon Delight."<... (Below threshold)

"Afternoon Delight."

"Lovin You."

Pardon me, I am feeling queazy.

Any classical music. Betho... (Below threshold)
mike:

Any classical music. Bethoven, Bach, Brams,
Jerry Jeff Walkers "were your born an asshole" is a real song..move the volume up to 11+

GRIN

Mike

If you want a combo of Oper... (Below threshold)

If you want a combo of Opera AND Techno, why not throw down Apotheosis' version of "Carmina Burana"?

I have an addendum:<p... (Below threshold)

I have an addendum:

Come Sail Away, as rendered by Cartman from South Park.

<a href="http://wishingfish... (Below threshold)
vivi:

http://wishingfish.com/revengecd.html

Tracks include a drill, a party with at least 200 people, an orgasm, a train, a drum played by a child, inhuman screams, doors banging, bowling, an unhappy dog, traffic jam, a newborn crying and more.

Mrs. Miller, you have to li... (Below threshold)
Brad c:
Speaking of South Park</... (Below threshold)
Russ:

Speaking of South Park...

Wing.

'Nuff said.

John Phillips Sousa - has m... (Below threshold)
BluesHarper:

John Phillips Sousa - has my vote to get 'em.

If this kid is like the kids around our house, he isn't even goin' to notice or understand what you are trying to do or what point you are trying to make. He'll be telling this story 5 or more years from now, and then he might get it. Until then you are just one more abult clown.

But - John Phillips Sousa, I tell you!

Nearly forgot to mention th... (Below threshold)
DJ:

Nearly forgot to mention the classic hit 'Ding Dong Song' by Gunther, and if that doesn't work, try anything by the Panjabi MC.

Leona Anderson: Music to Su... (Below threshold)
vivi:

Leona Anderson: Music to Suffer By*

The sister of Bronco Billy Anderson was billed as as "The world's most horrible singer". She screeches through "I Love Paris" and at one point invites listeners to "do the jerk with me."

She makes that Hwang guy sould like Dean Martin.

Lou MOnte's greatest hits would do it, also. His version of Che La Luna.

Indian rap music.... (Below threshold)
joe:

Indian rap music.

Wendy Carlos, almost anythi... (Below threshold)
htom:

Wendy Carlos, almost anything, but 'Switched on Brandenburgs' or 'Switched on Bach' might be especially satisfying.

Swingle Singers, especially '1812', 'Bach Album', or 'Swingle Bells'

Deborah Henson-Conant, 'Just For You'


"Number Nine" from the Beat... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

"Number Nine" from the Beatles' White Album - cer and over again. I love the Beatles, but I can't stand that song.

It depends on what color he... (Below threshold)
Sandy:

It depends on what color he is. If he's black blast some David Allen Coe songs.

Hendrix's version of the St... (Below threshold)
mesablue:

Hendrix's version of the Star Spangled Banner played over and over, loud and proud.

If your life is anything li... (Below threshold)
Kirby:

If your life is anything like mine... while he is held totally unaccountable for his abnoxious behavior, as soon as you crank it up past 5 the police will be issuing you a noise complaint. Good luck.

I'm not good at picking jus... (Below threshold)
Kell:

I'm not good at picking just one, so here are a few :P

1. Phantom of the Opera (Punk version)

2. Nitrous - Dick Dale (surf guitar)

3. Bar Room Hero - Dropkick Murphy (possibly the best one, it has bagpipes, horrid lyrics, and basically makes you want to either kill yourself or start a mosh pit)

4. Duel of the Fates - John Williams (Star Wars Episode 1 Qui-gon/Obi-wan/Darth Maul fight music)

5. Long Tall Sally - Little Richard (song from Predator 1 chopper flight)

6. King of Spain - Moxy Frouvous (this song is just pure cheese :P)

7. Black Betty - Ram Jam (Very loud guitar driven song)

8. (I know it isn't really loud of fast, but....) Dukes of Hazzard Theme - Waylon Jennings

9. Highway to Hell - AC/DC

10. House of the Rising Sun - Frigid Pink version

11. Magic Carpet Ride - Steppenwolf (the uncut version has like 25 seconds of loud distortion before the song ever starts)

12. The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band

13. Gimme the Prize - Queen (If you have the Highlander movie soundtrack/Queen album with Princes of the Universe on it, you have this one as well....and ya gotta love the whole fake news story in it about a man's decapitated body being found in a garage....now there is a song to boom out the car :P)

14. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen (Shaun of the Dead jukebox/beat down of bar zombie scene)

15. Rubber Biscuit - The Chips (though I have the Blues Brothers version).....this song is basically 3 minutes of random nonsense such as hihaidaijdaijdiajdijadija :P

16. Race With the Devil - The Gun

17. July Morning - Uriah Heep

18. Wonderworld - Uriah Heep

19. 90 percent of the stuff Flogging Molly does (Irish Punk)

20. The Gates - Da Vinci's Notebook

21. Enormous Penis - Da Vinci's Notebook (Comedy :P)

This will be perfect!!!... (Below threshold)

This will be perfect!!!

Kim Milai's All Around The Kitchen.
http://www.dinobone.com/MP3/Milai3lo.mp3


Chris
http://amateureconblog.blogspot.com/

Wow! What great suggestions... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Wow! What great suggestions! I'm not sure I can beat them, but I'll submit a few sure-to-annoy-any-wangster (wannabe gangster). I'll run the gamut here from loud and obnoxious to just plain nauseating:

1.) "I Don't Know" The Replacements (loud)
2.) "Touch Me" Samantha Fox (obnoxious 80s song)
3.) "Stigmata" Ministry (saw this suggessted early and double the recommendation; I used to drive customers out of the record store I used to work in during the 80s)
4.) "Spin The Black Circle" Pearl Jam (play really loud)
5.) "Shake Your Love" Debbie Gibson
6.) "My Heart Will Go On" Celine Dion (I can't believe no one's suggessted this ditty...)
7.) "Macarena" (Need I say more...)
8.) "Bye, Bye, Bye" N-Sync
9.) "Tourette's" Nirvana (loud, obnoxious and unintelligble, in other words, great!)
10.) "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)" Offspring (the subtlety may be lost on him, but WTF...)

Opera! Why hasn't anyone... (Below threshold)

Opera! Why hasn't anyone mentioned opera?

Several people had already mentioned "Ride of the Valkyries" -- which, Apocalypse Now notwithstanding -- was, actually, written for an opera.

Bollywood songs.... (Below threshold)
joe:

Bollywood songs.

All the cool kids hang out ... (Below threshold)

All the cool kids hang out at the local movie theater in my town... if by cool kids I mean the 12-15y. olds whose parents drop them off, and the 16 and 17 year olds who can't get dates.

The older ones like to drive around with the bass thumping pretending that they're hip and such... back when I used to borrow my mom's Oldsmobile minivan, I'd ride by with the windows down and the O brother Where Art Thou soundtrack blaring.

"I am a Man of Constant Sorrows" is a classic track...

That damn "Turn around, bri... (Below threshold)
joe:

That damn "Turn around, bright eyes" song from the early '80s.

Carpenters' "Close to You"<... (Below threshold)
leelu:

Carpenters' "Close to You"

I'm not too sure about Wagner's valkyrie... altho, and endless loop of "Kill the wabbit..." might work.

Jon Tesch or Yanni??

If you're comfortable in yo... (Below threshold)

If you're comfortable in your masculinity, Jay, you could always blast Gloria Estefan at teeth-shattering volume. "Turn the Beat Around" in a loop, or "Live for Loving You" would likely drive him either insane or homicidal. Also, anything thats just bizarre, so the entire library or Weird Al and They Might Be Giants.

I also read one comment about Indian Rap. Why not go global? I know there's Japanese rap ("J-Rap"), latin rap, etc. If he's going to blast crap that you can't stand, why don't you blast stuff that he can't understand? Turnabout is fair play.

One thing that'll sure to p... (Below threshold)
One_Drummer:

One thing that'll sure to piss off the gangsta rappers is to play this extra loud:

The Gourds - Gin & Juice...

Nothin' like a Snoop Dogg song amped up on bluegrass & moonshine!

A thought just occurred! G... (Below threshold)

A thought just occurred! Go 80s with Ah-ha's "Take On Me". It'll pierce his ear-drums when he hits "I'll be gone...in a day or twoooooooooooo!"

Although, the lawsuits from neighbors over their dogs going deaf may dissuade you from doing this.

Japanese pop.Start... (Below threshold)
joe:

Japanese pop.

Start with the theme song from "Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi Show".......

Revision of my list to incl... (Below threshold)
DennisThePeasant:

Revision of my list to include the obvious choice:

"(Love Like) Anthrax" by Gang of Four

It begins with 1'30" of solid distorted guitar white noise, and finishes with another 45" of the same. The song is 4'30". Gotta love it.

Failing that, try Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'".

Boys Don't Cry - "I Wanna b... (Below threshold)

Boys Don't Cry - "I Wanna be a Cowboy"

THAT will drive anyone to gibbering, drooling, putting his finger to his lips, and going "wubba, wubba, wubba".

I don't feel like reading t... (Below threshold)

I don't feel like reading through all the comments to see if anybody else has suggested mine.

1) Handel's "Hallelujah Chorus" (trust me, they don't like it)
2) Anything by Yoko Ono
3) Anything by Da Yoopers
4) Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated (nothing like Emo music to bring a smile to one's face)
5) Anything by Bob Dylan
6) Rammstein - Links 2 3 4 (Just because it has jack boots stomping in it)
7) Anything by the Statler Brothers (bonus points if it's Christian music)
8) System Of A Down - Chop Suey
9) Anything by Michael Bolton (bonus points for any Office Space references)
10) Willie Nelson - You Were Always On My Mind
11) Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive
12) Pretty much anything Country (use your own judgement)
13) Anything by Nightwish (great band, but not what a gangsta rapper wanna-be is going to go for)
14) Bagpipes. I'd recommend a traditional bagpipe rendition of Amazing Grace or Scotland The Brave. You could also kill two birds with one stone by playing Dropkick Murphy's version of either (though I think they call the second one "Cadence To Arms").
15) Anything by Me First & The Gimmie Gimmies
16) Theme song from The Exorcist (or Titanic).

Oh, and I must agree with Peter F. That "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" would be hilarious.

Anything that was ever done... (Below threshold)
Jim:

Anything that was ever done on the Laurence Welk Show! :)

Everybody Have Fun Tonight ... (Below threshold)

Everybody Have Fun Tonight -- Wang Chung
Orinoco Flow -- Enya
Bad to the Bone -- George Thorogood & The Destroyers
Jump in the Line - Harry Belafonte
"Raising Arizona" Closing Theme -- Carter Burwell

Stravinsky/Kenny G. medley.... (Below threshold)

Stravinsky/Kenny G. medley.

There's a sub-genre of heav... (Below threshold)
Sarge6:

There's a sub-genre of heavy metal called "melodic death metal." Basically cross the music of Iron Maiden and early Metallica and add incomprehensible growls. Anything from In Flames or Dark Tranquility would work.

Blitzkrieg Bop, The Ramones... (Below threshold)

Blitzkrieg Bop, The Ramones
London Calling, The Clash
Holiday, GreenDay
Anything loud and shrill, which is most of it, by Bif Naked...she's amazing.

If you're going to do bagpipes, go with anything by Wicked Tinkers, I like "Bangers for Breakfast."

Silver, YOKO ONO??... (Below threshold)

Silver,

YOKO ONO???!!!!

We want to annoy the guy, not commit CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!!!

Jay! Don't you DARE touch the Yoko albums! They'll have you before a tribunal and a noose in two shakes!

"Time after Time" by Cindi ... (Below threshold)
joe:

"Time after Time" by Cindi Lauper.

My friend recommended Agado... (Below threshold)
Vanshalar:

My friend recommended Agadoo. Don't ask me what it is:

"Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree,
Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee,
To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees,
Come and dance every night, sing with the hula melody.

I met a hula mistress somewhere in Waikiki,
Well, she was selling pineapple, playing ukulele,
And when I went to the girl, "Come on and teach me to sway,"
She laughed and whispered to me, "Yes, come tonight to the bay." "

http://www.mp3search.ru/album.html?id=12466&ref=4566&lang=en

Come to think of it, looks like a bunch of those other songs on that page might be good.

He also recommended:

* early 80's music (does this include disco?)
* Missy Elliot's "Work It" (I hold myself blameless for any damages that may result from playing this song)
* Any chance of the soundtrack for "All your base are belong to us"?

About chinese opera, I googled around for it a bit, there's links to samples here:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000004669/002-4885174-7362425?v=glance

The first one is pretty much what I had in mind (once you get past the intro). Actually they're all pretty much what i had in mind. Heh.

My sister is a huge fan of ... (Below threshold)
NJC:

My sister is a huge fan of gangsta rap and she hates it when I play my Frank Sinatra greatest hits CD. Any of these songs should work well: "I Get a Kick Out of You" ; "Luck Be a Lady" ; "Love and Marriage" ; "Strangers in the Night" ; "Lady is a Tramp" ; "Theme from New York, New York"

Speaking of "crazy," here's... (Below threshold)

Speaking of "crazy," here's a theremin version of that song:

http://www.peterpringle.com/music/crazy.mp3

It's a double-killer! C&W will drive most urbanites out of their minds. That's it's a theremin version will take care of the rest of humanity!

NOW we know why you bought ... (Below threshold)
fatman:

NOW we know why you bought a station wagon. (Sorry if anyone else made this observation; I didn't have time to read all the other comments)

Brian,Desperate ti... (Below threshold)

Brian,

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Use Yoko as a last resort if nothing else. You have to admit it would be effective.

Filter's "Hey, Man, Nice Sh... (Below threshold)

Filter's "Hey, Man, Nice Shot" is one of my favorite crank-up-the-volume tunes.

My favorites:1) Ve... (Below threshold)

My favorites:

1) Verdi's "Dies Irae" from his Requiem Mass.
2) March to the Scaffold by Berlioz
3) Night on Bald Mountain
4) Anything by the Kronos Quartet
5) MC Hawking

If you wanted to be *really* evil:

1) Any atonal melody by Philip Glass
2) The Throat Singers of Tuva
3) Muzak. *70's* Muzak

(NOTE: I take no responsibility for mental anguish, insanity, and or war crimes accusations that may stem from playing any of these pieces at loud volumes.)

I've been known to be driving along the street in my car, listening to classical music and orchestra-level volumes (and when you used to be last chair second violin in an orchestra, wedged between the timpani and the horn section, in an orchestra with a director who was all too fond of Copland, you learn to enjoy classical music very loud...)

It does seem to make people get out of my way a heck of a lot quick in parking lots.

A third for Wagner and Ride... (Below threshold)
McGroarty:

A third for Wagner and Ride of the Valkyries.

Take a Chance on Me from Abba was also an excellent mention. Super Trooper from Abba would also be a fine choice, as would be anything by Abba, really.

Should have added Witchdoct... (Below threshold)
McGroarty:

Should have added Witchdoctor by David Seville.

Here's some stuff to boost ... (Below threshold)
Vanshalar:

Here's some stuff to boost my post count:

* Indian rap. While at school, a friend showed me this site:

http://www.dalermehndi.com/

Some other suggestions from friends:
* Taiwanese love songs.
* "Rock Lobster" by the B-52s.
* Anything from Animaniacs.
* William Hung. 'Nuff said.
* Musicals -- "Guys and Dolls" "Hello Dolly" "Oklahoma" "Sound of Music" etc.
* Soundtrack to Disney's "Alice in Wonderland".
* Any recordings you can find of people doing bad karaoke.
* You singing in the shower (have fun with that one).

"Pour Some Sugar On Me"--De... (Below threshold)
Larry:

"Pour Some Sugar On Me"--Def Leppard

LOUD-- (Is there any other way?)

I don't know, they may like it!

Anthrax: I'm the Man<... (Below threshold)
Sindarian:

Anthrax: I'm the Man

Thrash Metal does old school rap, priceless.

K.F.M.D.M.: Ultra

It will go through the roof.

Silver, It may be ... (Below threshold)

Silver,

It may be effective, but some things just aren't done - even as a last resort!

I'd really hate to have to pull the trap-door lever on Jay, but if he resorts to Yoko, I will suck it up and do my duty.

Brian Epps
Official Executioner, Music Police.

Suggestion to combat your i... (Below threshold)
Rose Brindle:

Suggestion to combat your irratating rapper: how about some old Polish Polkas and some 40's-50's-Big Band music? Good luck!!!!!

"Dueling Bangos"Ho... (Below threshold)
Tyrtle:

"Dueling Bangos"

How did all of you miss that one?

"Faeries wear boots" by Black Sabbath if you value symbolism.

I've got it!!!!!!! Mr. Rog... (Below threshold)
RB:

I've got it!!!!!!! Mr. Rogers neighborhood song!!!

How about Rush Limbaugh's p... (Below threshold)
Idahoser:

How about Rush Limbaugh's podcast?

Spice GirlsCheeky ... (Below threshold)
joe:

Spice Girls

Cheeky Girls

Britney Spears live

That Paula Cole "cowboys" song

No contest: Ludwig Van's 9... (Below threshold)

No contest: Ludwig Van's 9th Symphony.

It might not start out loud, but I can't think of anything that would bug a gansta more than the final chorus of Ode To Joy at full blast, sung by a German choir with a powerful orchestra in the background.

1812 Overture.With... (Below threshold)
joe:

1812 Overture.

With cannon, of course.

What, no <a href="http://ww... (Below threshold)
dcf:

What, no Kate Bush?

And what about Meridith Monk's Doleman Music , particularly, "The Tale."

Your neighbors may fear that the aliens have landed...

And then there's always Laurie Anderson .

All good, but you're missin... (Below threshold)
Chad:

All good, but you're missing the best. There's a solution for all of this. William Shatner has an album out there if you can find it. Hasselhoff has a few too. If nothing else, go with the 2 disk greatest hits of Johnny Cash. You should be able to enjoy the music, while tormenting your neighbor, and "A Boy Named Sue" always makes me laugh.

Herman's Hermits - Henry th... (Below threshold)
Razorgirl:

Herman's Hermits - Henry the VIII "I'm Henery the eighth, I am, Henery the eighth I am, I am. I got married to the widow next door, she's been married seven times before, and everyone was a Henery. HENERY!........" over and over and over again.

Metallica- And Justice for ... (Below threshold)

Metallica- And Justice for All. Had to use that on the frat putzes who lived next to me in school. I layed my 15" subwoofer on its side against our common wall, put that in on repeat on the CD player, and left for the day while they were having a party. When I came back, no more party.

Why re-invent the wheel. D... (Below threshold)
pam:

Why re-invent the wheel. Does anyone know what the music was that the US used on Manuel Noriega?

Otherwise I like the bagpipe music even though I'm married to a Scotsman or John Phillips Sousa.

Good Luck and hope this doesn't turn into a one-upmanship!

What about:... (Below threshold)
lowmal:


What about:

"Tamborine Man"

as sung by William Shatner?

Most of you are too young, ... (Below threshold)
Julius Geezer:

Most of you are too young, but find "Cattle Call" by Eddie Arnold.
If that doesn't do the trick, nothing will.

Two approaches here - ... (Below threshold)
JD:

Two approaches here -

First is kick-ass rock and roll. For this approach, I would prescribe the first Led Zeppelin album (particularly "Communication Breakdown" or "Dazed and Confused"), or get a copy of "Enter Sandman" by Metallica.

Second is humor and horror all wrapped into one - go find a disc called "Golden Throats" on Rhino Records - it has the following songs:

1) Proud Mary - Leonard Nimoy
2) It Ain't Me Babe - Sebastian Cabot
3) Blowin' In The Wind - Eddie Albert
4) Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - William Shatner
5) A Whiter Shade Of Pale - Noel Harrison
6) I Can See For Miles - Frankie Randall
7) Try A Little Tenderness - Jack Webb
8) Twist And Shout - Mae West
9) House Of The Rising Sun - Andy Griffith
10) Mr. Tambourine Man - William Shatner
11) You Are The Sunshine Of My Life - Jim Nabors
12) White Room - Joel Grey
13) Like A Rolling Stone - Sebastian Cabot
14) If I Had A Hammer - Leonard Nimoy

Just think of the hell you could unleash with Jack Webb singing "Try A Little Tenderness" at 160 decibels.....aaaaawesome....

Try 'Riding the Storm Out; ... (Below threshold)
wstera2:

Try 'Riding the Storm Out; by REO Speedwagon
or 'What a Fool Believes' by the Doobie Brothers.

Led Zeppelin - The Crunge</... (Below threshold)

Led Zeppelin - The Crunge

I've heard that Paul Anka h... (Below threshold)

I've heard that Paul Anka has recently cut an album of rock hits including Jump and Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Vanshalar beat me to the "S... (Below threshold)
fatman:

Vanshalar beat me to the "Sound of Music", "Oklahoma!" and "Hello, Dolly", so how about just about anything by Olivia Newton John, especially the "Xanadu" soundtrack?

Clint Eastwood singing in (I believe) "Paint Your Wagon"?

And I don't remember seeing "You Light Up My Life" by Debbie Boone anywhere here.

(I knew about Shatner, but Leonard Nimoy???!!!)

Try a little C & W tune by ... (Below threshold)
scrapiron:

Try a little C & W tune by the title "It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass all day long" by the The Cherry Bombs. That will fry any idiot Rap fan's a**. It's available by download at WalMart.com for only .88.

Yoko Ono? Golden Throats? I... (Below threshold)
bobdog:

Yoko Ono? Golden Throats? It's a Small World?

I'd almost forgotten these crimes against civilization, after 30 years... Thanks a big bunch...you dirty b*st*rds...

So he likes rap, huh? How about all those rap treasures from Pat Boone?

You youngsters are not old enough to know what real torment truly is: Bubblegum Music. How about the 1910 Fruitgum Company?


All good suggestions but fa... (Below threshold)
casper:

All good suggestions but failed to see Iron Butterfly's 2d album side 2 In a Gadda Devida 17 mins of

follow that with Deep Purple Highway Star, smoke on the Water,
Uriah Heep Happy Birthday, Fallen Angel

All good suggestions but fa... (Below threshold)
casper:

All good suggestions but failed to see Iron Butterfly's 2d album side 2 In a Gadda Devida 17 mins of

follow that with Deep Purple Highway Star, smoke on the Water,
Uriah Heep, Magician Birthday, Fallen Angel

Two more for the list:... (Below threshold)
McGroarty:

Two more for the list:

We Built This City (On Rock and Roll)
Achey Breaky Heart




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