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Too little, too late

The Union Leader ran the story of a young woman's funeral yesterday. Brandi Bernard was 19 and 2 1/2 months pregnant when she was beaten to death -- allegedly by her boyfriend and father of the baby, 35-year-old Robert Lopez.

At Brandi's funeral, both mothers attended. Brandi's mother was in utter shock, barely functional. And Lopez' mother was grief-stricken, too -- she shouted "I'm so sorry my son did that to you! I'll make sure he pays! I promise..."

That's a very fine sentiment, madam. But you had one chance to bring him up right, when he was a boy. You failed then.

You had a second chance back in 1994, when he savagely beat and stabbed his girlfriend in Pennsylvania. For that, he went to jail for 11 years.

And six months after being released, he came to New Hampshire, met a girl almost half his age, got her pregnant, and then killed her.

You had your chances with your son, Ms. Torres, and now a young woman and her baby are dead, and her family are dealing with that. You had your chances, madam, and you failed. You don't get another chance to punish him for his misdeeds. Now it's our turn, as the State of New Hampshire, to see that justice is done.

It's just a goddamned pity that the state is only charging him with 2nd degree murder. I'd like to see the son of a bitch get the death penalty -- something that hasn't happened since 1939, but we still have it on the books.

Update: this morning's Union Leader has a followup story. Apparently the woman Lopez stabbed and nearly killed 11 years ago has heard about Brandi suffering the fate she barely avoided, and is willing to come to New Hampshire to help put him behind bars for as long as possible.

Considering that Olivia Williams is still suffering from Lopez' attack (he stabbed her in the head, face, neck, arms, hands, and body, and that she was left partially paralyzed and had to re-learn how to walk, talk, and move her arms all over again), it shows just how strong she is that she's willing to re-live it all if it'll help keep Lopez from killing again.

Update 2: I hate it when I have to go back and explain what I meant to say. It usually means that I didn't write the piece clearly enough in the first place.

My "hook" on this piece was the mother's offering to "punish" the murderer. What I was attempting to say was that it's too late for Mommy to fix his problems; it's the state of New Hampshire's place now to see that justice is done.

I was not attempting to "blame" her for her son's crimes; my focus was saying that she can NOT take responsibility for them and attempt to "fix" things.

My apologies to those who misunderstood. When one person misunderstands you, it's easy to blame them. But when a whole bunch of people all come to the same "wrong" interpretation, it's pretty obvious on which end of the keyboard the mistake was made.

Dammit, I gotta give these things one last re-read before I hit "publish..."


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Comments (39)

Whiz,You are wrong... (Below threshold)

Whiz,

You are wrong on this one.

Shouldn't you be saving your outrage for the judge who gave this scumbag 11 years for his FIRST attempted murder? What about the prosecutor who dropped attempted murder charges against Mr. Lopez and allowed him to plead guilty to mere aggravated assault?

What about the dead girl's OWN mother? Is she blameless?

The killer's mother is, clearly, despondent that her child did this to another family - and rather than do what most parents do, which is to "support" their child no matter what, this mother felt it appropriate to tell another mother that she will see to it that her son pays the price.

That's a true mother. She probably CALLED the police herself (he was arrested IN her home.)

I would bet a dollar to a donut that you are not a parent. If you were, you wouldn't be venting your spleen on the mother of the killer. She could no more stop him than YOU could.

My own mother had six kids. Five of us are perfectly normal (i.e., we all have our faults). One of us has been in jail 6 times for most of his adult life and seems to have no regard for either himself or others.

Was that my mother's fault? I hardly remember being raised any differently from my own brother or being somehow MORE instilled with a value system.

Fact is ... it's not my mother's fault. He made one poor choice after another. I, and my other brothers and sisters had the very same decisions to make and chose different paths.

The murdered girl's mother raised her daughter also. How well did she do HER job? She reportedly knew about Mr. Lopez' background, as did her child. Both are said to have believed he "deserved a second chance."

I wonder if they think he might one day deserve a third chance?

This is a guy who stabbed his former girlfriend 13 times in her face, gouging out one of her eyes. It took me 4 seconds on Google to find out everything I ever want to know about his background.

Yet, this 19-year-old thought it was perfectly OK to have pre-marital sex with a 35-year-old convicted attempted murderer? She moved in with him after dating for 30 days.

Hmmmm. One wonders how she was raised?

Says her own mother (according to the article on MSNBC): Bernard and Lopez fought for much of their relationship, [the mother] said. Sometimes, she said, Lopez made "very serious comments."

"He would make rude, mean comments that made me fear for Brandi at times," [the dead girl's mother] said.

I'm curious what you might have to say about this twit's parenting skills?

I'd refer you to these two stories, which has a little more background:

http://www.mcall.com/news/local/all-a1_5lopezjul25,0,4826689.story?coll=all-news-hed

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8683444/

Rightnumberone

This is all speculative, I ... (Below threshold)
-S-:

This is all speculative, I realize, much as are any possible comments by any of us who don't have first hand knowledge, if not professional insight into, the minds and functions of the guy, and that includes his familial relationships, if you can call them that at this point.

But, unless he has organic brain damage of, probably, his frontal lobes, or some sort of other negative affect to his brain function, mental capacity, he's going about stabbing his mom, almost certainly, in his wretched stabbings of these other women who are in such close pschological relationship with him -- also, if you can call it that ("relationship" with people like this guy is nearly always one-sided, since females, especially, are almost always renditions of one degree or another of his mother combined with who he perceives himself to be within the context of motherhood as parent).

Like I said, all speculative, since I don't have any idea what the guy's actual person is like, in any degree, but pscyho murderers are almost all acting on a compulsive range of needs that drive them to eradicate that which they both loathe and fear the most, in my literary experience in reading about them.

And, the fact that he is st... (Below threshold)
-S-:

And, the fact that he is stabbing -- using a KNIFE -- to wreak this wreckage is significant within the context of what I just wrote. Again, speculative, but the symbolism is difficult to overlook.

You are wrong on this on... (Below threshold)

You are wrong on this one.

Don't be an idiot.

Oops, too late.

McGehee,Hmmmm. Ins... (Below threshold)

McGehee,

Hmmmm. Insightful. Cutting. Obviously, much thought was put into your argument.

I hereby, as a result of your thoughfully reasoned analysis, retract my previous comments as ignorant.

McGehee,I side with ... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

McGehee,
I side with RigtNumberOne on this one. Lopez could have had a decent upbringing but just be a bad seed. Loving, supportive homes stand the best chance of raising decent kids. Neglectful, inattentive parents are one step ahead in spawning future lowlifes. Of course, examples of the opposite outcomes can be found. This guy is responsible for his own behavior now. Lopez has demonstrated that murder is a ready a moral option in his particular book for dealing with his inconveniences. The justice system should note that and be allowed to deal with him in the same manner as he is obviously a major inconvenience to society. A case for the death penalty if ever there was one.

A different past could cert... (Below threshold)

A different past could certainly have yielded a different present, so I won't argue who's to blame. The guy probably did things he shouldn't have gotten away with long before he attacked Williams.

I hope that William's testimony encourages the prosecutor to make the charge of first degree murder, not second [I believe they can change it prior to trial, but I'm no legal eagle]; it looks to me like it was the man's plan.

Count me in with RightNumbe... (Below threshold)
andy:

Count me in with RightNumberOne. Just another ol' idiot I s'pose. Doh.


A parent has NO power over ... (Below threshold)
lurker:

A parent has NO power over an adult child. NONE. Zilch. Zippo. Some people are determined to do evil no matter what, regardless of what their mothers think.

Sorry. You can't blame the mother on this one. Even if she was the worst mother ever, at some point an scumbag is the only one responsible for his own actions.

Most assuredly you have to ... (Below threshold)
ozone64:

Most assuredly you have to take in ALL factors determining the outcome of a particular individual. Up-bringing, parenting, gene pool, society the way it is. You can't blame any single one thing, but you can point the finger a little more one way or another.

Yeah, I guess I'm an idiot,... (Below threshold)
Bush4More:

Yeah, I guess I'm an idiot, too. I have two siblings - one turned out to be a minister, one wasted his life on drugs until late in life (sadly, the effects still shortened his life), and I'm "normal."

Now, *if* the mother had excused her low-life, pathetic excuse for a human being son, then I'd agree that she's culpable. But she didn't, which is too rare.

So many factors enter into a person's character - upbringing, friends, experiences, and internal factors such as brain damage, dna, etc.

But sometimes, it's pretty simple. Everyone of us, every day, makes choices moving us more toward a creature of Heaven or a creature of Hell. This animal made choices, one after the other, each more heinous then before, and is now fit only for Hell (barring miraculous grace).

I am with you as well Right... (Below threshold)
D-Hoggs:

I am with you as well RightNumberOne. Jay Tea how much control over you did your parents have when you were 24 years old?! I dare to say little to NONE. I'll grant you she could have been a bad parent, but why don't you get some information on his life prior to his attack as a 24 year old man before you go off on his mother who is not excusing him at all. You just screamed and moaned more about her than the actual murderer, talk about misplaced anger.

I agree with R#1 that the i... (Below threshold)
TJ:

I agree with R#1 that the initial 11 year sentence is idiotic, and I furthermore feel that the single 2nd-degree murder charge is ludicrous.

What is the justification for this not being a double 1st-degree murder case? Death Penalty warranted, especially considering his history.


Why do people not get this?
/TJ

"You had your chances with ... (Below threshold)
John:

"You had your chances with your son, Ms. Torres, and now a young woman and her baby are dead, and her family are dealing with that."

Nice, Jay. The title of your post applies perfectly to your "update 2" which is a lame excuse for a reprehensible position on a subject you obviously haven't thought about for more than the time it took you to pound out those idiotic sentiments.

Blaming the parent for this horrible crime is beyond the pale. Your readers are not misunderstanding you, they are reading you loud and clear.

Frankly JT, I don't see how... (Below threshold)
Sean:

Frankly JT, I don't see how anybody could come to the conclusion you were blaming the mother for this crime. I can understand that they might have assumed you blamed the mother for doing a horrible job raising her son, and to some fools that is the same as blaming her for this attack. Don't apologize for someone's complete lack of reading comprehension.

Sean, the statement Jay mad... (Below threshold)
D-Hoggs:

Sean, the statement Jay made, "That's a very fine sentiment, madam. But you had one chance to bring him up right, when he was a boy. You failed then." ,tries to make the point (intended or not) that this murderer's mother did a poor job raising him, in fact "failed" at raising him, which in turn led to him murdering someone. This most definitely tries to place at least some of the blame for his actions, onto the mother. Try comprehending the writing yourself.

Jay Tea writes: D... (Below threshold)
s9:

Jay Tea writes: Dammit, I gotta give these things one last re-read before I hit "publish..."

Don't knock yourself out, Jay. You're a perfectly good writer, and you don't need to listen to all these pinheads who keep saying you're a moron. Just ignore them and keep doing what you're doing now. You're setting an excellent example.

s9, nobody here called Jay ... (Below threshold)
D-Hoggs:

s9, nobody here called Jay a moron, nor thinks that, at least I don't, and nobody here is a pinhead for thinking that the outrage towards the mother in his writing was evident and misplaced. You on the other hand, I will call a moron, moron.

I can see both sides here. ... (Below threshold)
Eric:

I can see both sides here. Yes, the Court in the first case should have handed down a harsher and more appropriate sentence than a mere eleven years - HOWEVER, I also agree that the mother of this human debris most likely failed in her duty to responsibly and adequately rear her child.

At some point, there has to be accountability. The "Not my fault" cultural mindset that we have collectively allowed ourselves to descend into has permitted Society to assign blame everywhere and to everyone OTHER than the rightful culprit(s).

By his own actions, this meatbag has forfeited his right to live - and that, as they say, is that. His mother may only console herself with the knowledge that she (presumably) has no other children.

So Eric, you are saying tha... (Below threshold)
D-Hoggs:

So Eric, you are saying that the mother needs to be held accountable? I am not trying to excuse this murderer by any means or whatever shitty parenting his mother may or MAY NOT have done, but the fact remains that the man was 24 years old when he committed his original crime, AND no one here has any evidence that he wasn't raised completely fine. Calling for the mother to be accountable is just ludicrous. How many times have you heard the story, "he was a really nice guy, everyone liked him, never hurt anyone", parents are not always culpable for children going crazy, especially adult children.

[email protected] Jay Tea... (Below threshold)
ed:

Hmmm.

@ Jay Tea

I think you were absolutely clear in your writing as I had no trouble understanding it. No idea why anybody would have any difficulty in comprehending it.

Jay Tea,What impre... (Below threshold)
Proverbs:

Jay Tea,

What impresses me, and what I will remember positively long after I have forgotten the original subject matter, is your simple honesty and candor in quickly saying that you may have made a mistake.

Thank you for your good example.


I second that.... (Below threshold)
D-Hoggs:

I second that.

For crying out loud D-Hoggs... (Below threshold)
Sean:

For crying out loud D-Hoggs, how plain do I have to make it? Yes. The mother had one chance to raise her son and "make things right". She did a shitty ass job and instead raised a murderer. She can't make anything right at this point - especially this murder. She said "I'll make sure he pays". How? What can she do at this point? Nothing. She had her chance, she blew it. Now she has to deal with the consequences.

She doesn't share any blame for this crime but she is the only one responsible for failing to raise her son with anything close to civility and respect for others.

Actually, he assumed he mad... (Below threshold)
Sean:

Actually, he assumed he made a mistake because a bunch of bleeding hearts jumped all over him for something he didn't do.

D-H;What I am sayi... (Below threshold)
Eric:

D-H;

What I am saying is that yes, she should hold herself accountable for how he turned out. The law cannot necessarily hold her accountable because as you so astutely pointed out, he was an adult at the time of the commission of the crime.

She CAN, however, hold herself accountable for how/wherever she failed in her skills and responsibilties as a parent.

I am far from a bleeding-heart liberal, and I am not necessarily a rabid conservative. What I am is a proponent of taking responsibilty for one's actions - or LACK of action. I have kids. If I do my job as a parent and instill as many positive values in my children as I can, teach them right from wrong, etc., then they stand a better chance on an order of magnitude of being good, upstanding, moral, and responsible law-abiding citizens.

IF they still stray from how they were brought up, the mantle of responsibilty falls squarely on them - BUT I as the parent will still feel (and assume) some responsibility: I am not released from my role of parent simply because my children attain the minimum voting or drinking age.

Sean, I never once disagree... (Below threshold)
D-Hoggs:

Sean, I never once disagreed that there isn't a damn thing the mother can do to make this right, because there isn't. My only point is that NOBODY here has ANY evidence that this mother did anything wrong in the rearing of her child. The fact that her ADULT son violently attacked one woman and killed another is in no way indicative of bad parenting on its face Sean. And give me a break with the bleeding heart crap, I'd be more than happy to see the guy strung up in the town square, and I couldn't care less about the mother either, I just find it ridiculous that Jay, and you, immediately jump on the mother's parenting when you have NO IDEA whatsoever about what his life was like leading up to his crimes.

Actually, DavidD, I just re... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Actually, DavidD, I just read an article earlier this morning about a recent study that evidences that "child abuse is learned behavior, parent to child..."

I'm too tired now to go back and find a link but if someone is really insistent about it, I'll do so tomorrow...

However, the gist of the study states this: that a child raised by an abusive mother/parent grew up and was by far more likely to be abusive with thier own children than a child who was not raised by an abusive mother/parent (the article only mentioned mothers in the child's parental experience, since that's the grouping that was studied).

When an abusive mother's child was removed at an infant age and allowed to be raised by an non-abusive mother, the child was not abusive when later parenting their own children. However, when the child of a non-abusive mother was relocated to be reared by an abusive mother, the child then grew up to be an abusive parent with their own children.

Thus, by the majority, the abusive behavior studied was determined to be learned behavior (child learns the behavior from parent), and not biological, not inherited by biology but learned and acquired by learning from parent-to-child.

So, unfortunately, as many people have been saying for a while now, child abuse is learned....by being abused when a child.

I hear what you are saying ... (Below threshold)
D-Hoggs:

I hear what you are saying Eric and I agree with you. My point however is that you Sean and Jay feel this woman failed in her rearing of her child. How do you know this? You say,

" If I do my job as a parent and instill as many positive values in my children as I can, teach them right from wrong, etc., then they stand a better chance on an order of magnitude of being good, upstanding, moral, and responsible law-abiding citizens. IF they still stray from how they were brought up, the mantle of responsibilty falls squarely on them"

Do you have evidence that this mother didn't do exactly that, and her son STILL strayed from how he was brought up? No? I didn't think so. So how then can you Sean and Jay come to the conclusion that she failed as a parent? In fact you actually support what I have been saying all along when you say "they stand a better chance", meaning that, as I said before, a parent isn't always culpable for their child's actions. Of course a parent will always feel responsible for what their children do, but that in no way makes it ok for others to immediately say they failed as a parent. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't care less about the woman and she couldv'e been a shitty parent, but we DO NOT know that, therefore any anger placed on her is totally misplaced until we get the facts.

I'm with D-Hoggs all the wa... (Below threshold)
Mark:

I'm with D-Hoggs all the way.

Sean, Eric and -S-, there are a myiad of factors that can turn a well-raised kid into an abusive murderer. Nobody here has enough information to rule them out at this point. Stop acting like pinheads and pointing your ignorant fingers at the mother. If anything, the available information suggests the mother is a victim here.

Jay, this is not the first post in which you automatically blamed the parents without sufficient background information. What's up? Since you have not bothered to publish any sort of bio, I am assuming you do not have extensive training or experience in child psychology, or the psychology of abusers and murderers. Nor do you have any experience whatsoever in rearing children. The latter teaches far more than any non-parent will ever understand.

Non-parents always know everything about child rearing, and they see it with crystal-clear precision. Fortunately, most of that "wisdom" flys out the window before the infant comes home from the hospital.

So, we have an evil motherfucker who probably deserves to die. Blame him and leave his poor mother out of it, unless some real information surfaces to justify the attack on her.

It sure sounded like you we... (Below threshold)
Anon:

It sure sounded like you were trying to place the blame all on the mother. Do not get me wrong. I am not a bleading heart liberal.

Some people will make bad, even vicious decisions reguardless of what type of parenting they had as a youth. Some people just go bad.

I do not know the history in the case. The whole initial story is in bad taste.

Mark: I know that. And, a... (Below threshold)
-S-:

Mark: I know that. And, as I wrote at the outset here, everything any of us have to comment about this awful situation is entirely speculative.

Without seeing CTScans and MRIs of the guy's brain and other functional assessments of his capacity and physiology and such, no one can rule out organic brain damage. That then could or could not be as a result of him being abused himself earlier (mother, perhaps, always likely suspect in those situations), or, some lone abuser randomly abusing him and thus damaging his psyche, his brain, his personality and/or any combination of all of those.

I recognize all those possibilities. I thought I'd made that clear. I was also only providing comments about aspects to consider in speculating about this guy's condition.

The mother's lone comments quuoted in the thread, however, seem to indicate a less than sensitve, less than thoughtful, and yet very aggressive, violence prone person. Could be grief, hysteria, craziness, too many drinks, who knows, but the mother does not sound at all rasonable. Could be that one instance in which she made statements like she did (quoted, thread), or, could be she flies into rages like that often with no or little provocation, could be she's not easily provoked but was insane with grief on that one instance, could be she's just a big bully with a history of abuse in her own past who went on to treat her child/ren with abuse, perhaps terrible violence.

We can't ever know unless we study firsthand the people involved, and, again I write, unless that's the case, then everything here is purely speculative. Perhaps you might try to consider from a speculative perspective the ideas by the rest of us, however, because most of us have already read and considered your speculations.

I realize that some people are parented by kind persons and yet grow up and engage in psychotic behaviors. However, Jeffrey Daumer points to him being left alone by both his parents when he was still emotionally immature and therefore frightened and it was his explosion point.

His parents were thoughtful and kindly behaved and yet they abandoned the kid at some earlier time -- which calls to mind that abuse does not necessarily have to be violent of the physical kind but can and often is also or either deprivation. Children deprived of human affections, parental relationships of an ongoing kind and instructional, and more..that is also abuse to the full personality and shouldn't be overlooked when discussing abuse of a child. Trauma by deprivation and isolation is a terrible thing for many and produces equally terrible results in a personality afterward, or can.

Just more speculation. Maybe the murdering psycho here fell down and hit his head when he was four and damaged his frontal lobes and has no impulse control and so just randomly kills with knives because his dinner was cold. Who knows...

-S-,A very well-re... (Below threshold)
Mark:

-S-,

A very well-reasoned comment in my opinion--sorry for jumping on you.

I think every parent on Earth has made decisions or has acted in ways they regret. Every one of us makes mistakes, and some may plant the kernal for regretable behaviors later in the lives of our kids. Parenting is difficult, and I have yet to meet one who can honestly say they got it right 100 percent of the time. Every kid is different, and parenting techniques that work on one, will not necessarily work on the other--in fact what works on one may harm the other. Making mistakes comes with the territory, and it does not necessarily mean the parent was negligent or faulty in some respect.

Of course there are plenty of mistakes that clearly fall in the categories of negligence, gross negligence, outright neglect and abuse. Of course parents can destroy children and send them down the road of crime, etc. I am not denying any of that. I'm just saying that there is no evidence available to us here to blame this mother.

Excuse me, I do ... (Below threshold)
anon:

Excuse me,

I do not think you can determine anything about the mom from the statements that she made! The idea of brain scans turning up organic problems etc is non material. The adult son could have been raised well with appropriate discipline etc and still make bad descisions.

This whole thing started out in the same thinking where some people claim that there is no such thing as ADHD. They say it is all parenting. BS. I aggree with Mark. You do not have enough info to be be even speculating!

Abuse could have happened outside the family, at school. The guy may have just hooked up with the wrong crouwd.

This entire thread and story is out of line.

Sean, you do no one any ser... (Below threshold)
Bush4more:

Sean, you do no one any service by name calling. But then, I imagine you realize that, and simply choose to fall back on the easy fallacies. Anyone who disagrees on a single point is a "bleeding heart" or whatever other disparaging name of the day.

My friends would be very surprised that I'm called a "bleeding heart" but they'd not be surprised that I don't jump to conclusions about a mother based on a son's actions, unlike you.

Since when does being a Reagan Republican, staunch Bush supporter, and conservative Christian require that I wear blinders, cut my heart out, and prejudge people (i.e. the mother in this case)?

Bush4more,Ignore S... (Below threshold)
Mark:

Bush4more,

Ignore Sean--everyone who reads his blog does. He's attracted about 2 comments in the last 20 posts. He's irrelevant even amont the readers of his blog--if there are any.

I wish I could recover the past two minutes I wasted on his pinheaded existence. Moron.

I would like to first start... (Below threshold)
Ericka:

I would like to first start off telling you that my name is Ericka and I am the cousin of Brandi Bernard. Brandi and I were only 7 hours a part. I read some of the comments on here and I couldn't finish them due to the fact that I am disgusted by Rightnumberone and the people who agree with him. I would like to first tell you that by no means is my aunt a TWIT. The only twit is you Rightnumberone for giving your input without the right facts. I knew Mr. Lopez he is a scumbag and a worthless piece of crap, but my cousin saw something in him that I didn't. She fell im love with him and wanted to be with him. I would hope some of you would understand that. I won't lie my cousin knew he had been in jail, but he lied to her as to why. She thought it was for drugs and that is the reason she told the rest of the family and THAT is the reason my aunt and cousin felt that he deserved a second chance. They believe that people deserve second chances. They weren't going to shun him for that. Trust me if my cousin knew why he really had been in jail she wouldn't have had anything to do with him and she would still be with us today. Brandi was blinded by him because he knew how to sweet talk her and everyone else. We witnessed the way he treated her, but she finally got sick of it and moved out back into her mothers. That is where he did it. She wasn't even living alone with him anymore, but he got her when she was alone. That was the only time she had ever been alone. BUT HOW DARE ANYONE BLAME HER OR MY AUNT. My aunt and her were best friends. You are so cold hearted. Brandi found out the truth about him and saw how he really is and moved out and her mom made sure she got out ok never leaving her alone during the time she moved out. My aunt and cousin are as much to blame as all of you. This could have happened to any one of your family members, but you are just lucky it didn't. You are a hypocrite because if the situation was reversed and this was your family member then you would not believe that your family member is to blame or that person's mother or father. I have never heard such rotten bull shit in my life. We grieve everyday at the loss of such a wonderful person. She had such a beautiful smile and was always fun to be around and he took that away. So now I must ask each of you. What if this were to happen to you? What if you read on a website that the person that was murdered was being blamed and so was her mother? I also must ask this. Who do you think you are saying such nasty comments when you don't even know a quarter of the truth? My aunt was an awesome mother to Brandi and is a great mother to her other two kids. She takes care of them and makes sure that they are safe and loved and get whatever they need so that they are happy. Did your mother do that for you Rightnumberone. I doubt that your mother is even half the mother my aunt or my mom is. She obviously didn't raise you very well to think such horrid things. How would you like it if one of your mother's kids was murdered by thier parter and you heard that your mother was being blamed for it. You would be very hurt. Don't you think my aunt and this family has enough grief to deal with without you blaming the innocent. It's very obvious that your mother wasn't that great she raised someone who loves prison and then a heartless human being who believes that someone being murdered is at fault for their own murder or that their mother is at fault. You are a dreadful person and I have never hated someone I have never met so much in my entire life.
Just so you know Jay Tea his charged has gone from second degree from first degree. As a closing remark all I would like to say is I would rethink what you feel about this situation when you don't know all the facts.

Ericka, I would like to sta... (Below threshold)
Josh Manning:

Ericka, I would like to start off by telling you that I also knew Brandi. She worked at labor ready where I sometimes visited for extra jobs durring hard times. I have had many coversations with Brandi about personal things and know that she cared about her family but she said her family was always screwed up. Which makes me think she probably wasn't raised well. We talked about how she didn't want to be a part of the low class life style she grew up in. She told me that she lived with another man (older by 10 yrs plus) while in high school and her mom took off to Florida. So about how a twit reared her daughter? Where was her mother? Why was this teen living with an older man again. What ever happened to mother guiding child? Teaching wright from wrong? I do not know your Aunt but I know that she and Brandi knew about his violent crime. The way I see it, That Woman who calls herself mom, invited a killer to live in her home with her daughter Brandi. Why not get your daughter help to leave an abusive relationship? In return this woman will have to live with the what if's and the guilt of not trying to help her daughter. I don't doubt that she loved her daughter. But is she grieving or is it GUILT? If only a mother had made different choices on raising her daughter. I don't have any children yet but I will remember this when raising my own. God bless Brandy and her unborn child. God forgive the family for standing by and watching this beautiful young lady have her life hammered away. I know I am being hard on this family but I have worked with them at labor ready and I'm sure they are grieving but I know how much they have used this for attention. I know that in one of the articals there was a picture of Brandi's grave with no head stone, The money raised and or the life insurance that labor ready paid out after her death should have covered that but instead your family spent that 30,000 plus on other things. Brandi would be rolling over in her grave knowing her money was well spent. Nah she knew the scum where she came from. Ericia stop living in the shaddows of your dead cousin and do something to make her proud.

Josh, Do you think your bei... (Below threshold)
Cathy:

Josh, Do you think your being a little hard on that Mom? I've seen the pictures of the family in the paper, and because the are in the lower class doesn't mean they miss her any less. Although I did a lot of reading about Brandi's murder I still wonder if this could have been provented. I agree that the family has taken this to another level by look for charity. I read that the family is looking for donations for the head stone. I am sorry but I don't think it's the communitys responsibility to pay for the familys bills because they blew thirty grand. Life insurance is susposed to cover the cost of the funeral and other expences that apply. The company Ms Bernard worked for raised thousands for the family. Maybe this family is looking for hand outs but if you don't like it don't send money to them. What it comes down to is, a life was lost and the person who did it can't do it again.




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