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Update: Winners announced (follow the link to read the winning entries). The contest is now closed.
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The keys to Michael Jackson's kingdom have just been ripped from his mother's hands. Over the objections of Katherine Jackson, a Los Angeles probate judge today ruled that Michael...
1:54 PM | 
0 comments
The fact that Barack Obama was elected President is a pretty clear indicator that Politics is not scientific. That is, with all due respect to the President, his resume was...
1:31 PM | 3 comments
8:05 AM | 1 comments
Karl Malden, the bulbous-nosed character actor who won a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Mitch, the guiless suitor of Blanche DuBois in the 1951 classic A Street...
8:02 AM | 5 comments
Visitors to the Sears Tower's new glass balconies all seem to agree: The first step is the hardest. The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut...
7:50 AM | 0 comments
Angelina Jolie's was named highest-paid actress on Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 list. Coming in second behind Angie is Jennifer Aniston. Which would have the rag mags in a tizzy...
7:42 AM | 2 comments
It's still unclear what David Carradine was doing when he died, but a doctor knows what technically killed him. Having already ruled out suicide by hanging, the private pathologist...
7:37 AM | 2 comments
Dimension Films has acquired the remake rights to "An American Werewolf in London", John Landis' 1981 horror-comedy. Landis spoke to bloodydisgusting.com and said "Yes, Dimension is now in negotiation...
7:30 AM | 1 comments
article here!! Jackson was not the biological father of any of his three children, it was claimed yesterday - a revelation that may herald new complications in his family's...
10:06 PM | 4 comments
SELLER: Alan Jackson LOCATION: Moran Road, Franklin, TN PRICE: $38,000,000 SIZE: 19,000 square feet (approx.), 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms DESCRIPTION: Magnificent offering w/o compare. Bordered by...
7:57 AM | 1 comments
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Comments (110)
"Mine's bigger."... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Victor | July 29, 2005 8:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Mine's bigger."
1. Posted by Victor | July 29, 2005 8:26 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 08:26
2. Posted by joe | July 29, 2005 8:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Why compare when we could share?
2. Posted by joe | July 29, 2005 8:30 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 08:30
3. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 8:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Yes we have upgraded the names of our rocket fleet. Mine is now known as the 'PeeWee Herman' and the one you're holding is the 'John Holmes' rocket."
3. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 8:32 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 08:32
4. Posted by Wally | July 29, 2005 8:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"And I know it'll fit since it's smaller than my head."
4. Posted by Wally | July 29, 2005 8:32 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 08:32
5. Posted by Tim McNabb | July 29, 2005 8:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cape Canviral engineers found themselves a bit embarrassed when the effects of the new Pfizer product "Nasagra" kicked in sooner than anticipated.
5. Posted by Tim McNabb | July 29, 2005 8:35 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 08:35
6. Posted by wavemaker | July 29, 2005 8:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
NASA official Dick Hertz demonstrates some high-tech methods of getting off.
[Only so much you can do with the "penis joke" genre]
6. Posted by wavemaker | July 29, 2005 8:42 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 08:42
7. Posted by Jeff | July 29, 2005 8:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
After NASA's Director cancelled the plans to have Paris Hilton do a series of commercials, they quickly discovered that her replacements just do not have the same impact.
7. Posted by Jeff | July 29, 2005 8:44 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 08:44
8. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 8:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Yea, the bigger one has more thrust, but mine will run rings around Uranus."
8. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 8:51 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 08:51
9. Posted by takefive | July 29, 2005 9:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, no. You grip the shaft like this!
9. Posted by takefive | July 29, 2005 9:03 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:03
10. Posted by rick13 | July 29, 2005 9:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It's not the size of your rocket! It's how fast you can get your "crew" into orbit!
10. Posted by rick13 | July 29, 2005 9:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:13
11. Posted by jc | July 29, 2005 9:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Damn, us euros must have used centimeters instead of inches again."
11. Posted by jc | July 29, 2005 9:17 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:17
12. Posted by Jabba the Tutt | July 29, 2005 9:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
1. "Damn, yours is bigger than mine."
2. "Sure, the Swedish Penis Enlarger has its supporters, I prefer the Danish."
3. "Ah YES, it is Rocket Science!"
12. Posted by Jabba the Tutt | July 29, 2005 9:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:20
13. Posted by DaveD | July 29, 2005 9:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"..... and really shows that size doesn't matter in getting that payload delivered."
13. Posted by DaveD | July 29, 2005 9:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:21
14. Posted by Jon | July 29, 2005 9:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hair styling is neat, I only get to scratch my face with it.
14. Posted by Jon | July 29, 2005 9:30 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:30
15. Posted by McGehee | July 29, 2005 9:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...and we believe that a 'safe space' program would do wonders for America's latex industry."
15. Posted by McGehee | July 29, 2005 9:34 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:34
16. Posted by Mark | July 29, 2005 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Whaddya say we try NASA's first mission to Uranus right now?
16. Posted by Mark | July 29, 2005 9:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:37
17. Posted by KEVIN | July 29, 2005 9:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hey, the rockets we are holding are positioned in such a way that they look like our genitals."
17. Posted by KEVIN | July 29, 2005 9:41 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:41
18. Posted by capitano | July 29, 2005 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thanks, Miles, I'll pass it on.
But don't you think "We have liftoff of Space Shuttle Needledick" is a little too self-deprecating...even for you?
18. Posted by capitano | July 29, 2005 9:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:43
19. Posted by Nicholas | July 29, 2005 9:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
After submitting preliminary doodles, representatives from the two competing companies, Wang Technologies and John Thomas Engineering Inc. got together to expose their models for public viewing. The winning proposal will be erected next year on NASA's third base, and is expected to go all the way.
19. Posted by Nicholas | July 29, 2005 9:45 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:45
20. Posted by AwsomeWeege | July 29, 2005 9:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Well, under Clinton we were ordered to diversify away from these patriarchal phallo-centric designs, but the FlyingTit and SpacePussy prototypes didn't pan out. Only this phallic design has the thrust! thrust! thrust! to launch that payload into orbit.
20. Posted by AwsomeWeege | July 29, 2005 9:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:50
21. Posted by Cybrludite | July 29, 2005 9:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sometimes a rocket is just a rocket. Unfortunately, this isn't one of those times...
21. Posted by Cybrludite | July 29, 2005 9:52 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:52
22. Posted by JEW | July 29, 2005 9:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thanks to male enhancement drugs, Bob has a swelling of pride and well deserved jealousy from his freind!
22. Posted by JEW | July 29, 2005 9:52 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:52
23. Posted by Laurence Simon | July 29, 2005 9:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Eason tried to shove a third one of these up Amanpour's ass, but she kept clenching and shouting 'OH, MY POOR YASSER!' over and over."
23. Posted by Laurence Simon | July 29, 2005 9:54 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 09:54
24. Posted by BlogDog | July 29, 2005 10:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yeah, but mine doesn't need strap-on thrusters.
24. Posted by BlogDog | July 29, 2005 10:16 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:16
25. Posted by moseby | July 29, 2005 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Man in Red: This was hillary's dildo while in the Whitehouse...
Man in blue: Yes...and since having chuck schumer's head removed from her ass she's upgraded to this one....
25. Posted by moseby | July 29, 2005 10:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:20
26. Posted by JmaR | July 29, 2005 10:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
After years of intense research to determine superior methods of maintaining propulsion and thrust, experts demonstrate that "Bang" (left) easily outperforms "wiz".
26. Posted by JmaR | July 29, 2005 10:31 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:31
27. Posted by yetanotherjohn | July 29, 2005 10:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Imminent launch, imminent launch...ooh...aah...never mind.
27. Posted by yetanotherjohn | July 29, 2005 10:32 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:32
28. Posted by Hangtown Bob | July 29, 2005 10:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Well, of course, yours is bigger, but parts don't fall off MINE when I'm launching!
28. Posted by Hangtown Bob | July 29, 2005 10:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:37
29. Posted by JimK | July 29, 2005 10:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"OK, we can both reach without bending over, so that only leaves one question; Spit or swallow?"
29. Posted by JimK | July 29, 2005 10:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:38
30. Posted by Hodink | July 29, 2005 10:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"The two women on the flight had proffered a vagina shaped rocket and we're beginning to agree with that concept. Either that, or we could put some Viagra in the fuel tank ... ha ha ha."
30. Posted by Hodink | July 29, 2005 10:39 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:39
31. Posted by Ian | July 29, 2005 10:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Don't you ever get tired of all the women staring... all the time... God, I hate being treated like I'm just some piece of meat, just because I'm a rocket scientist!"
"I don't."
31. Posted by Ian | July 29, 2005 10:51 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:51
32. Posted by Dylan | July 29, 2005 10:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pretty weak that you'd steal this bit directly from The Daily Show.
32. Posted by Dylan | July 29, 2005 10:51 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 10:51
33. Posted by murray | July 29, 2005 11:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Get hold of yourself Edwards! Like the government, we're here to help! A quick shot and a suppository and you'll be as good as new.
33. Posted by murray | July 29, 2005 11:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:01
34. Posted by kbiel | July 29, 2005 11:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...and John, we think we have finally found a way to get women excited about space exploration, working scale models of our...er...rockets."
34. Posted by kbiel | July 29, 2005 11:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:01
35. Posted by mojo | July 29, 2005 11:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It's been done. Daily show had a segment with the clip, complete with Enzyte innuendo...
35. Posted by mojo | July 29, 2005 11:06 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:06
36. Posted by Jeff | July 29, 2005 11:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
If your foam breaks anytime during the launch, you had better abort or you risk an unwanted pregnancy.
36. Posted by Jeff | July 29, 2005 11:08 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:08
37. Posted by Jeff | July 29, 2005 11:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
On STS-114 Miles, NASA has installed over 100 cameras in an effort to get the "money-shot".
37. Posted by Jeff | July 29, 2005 11:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:11
38. Posted by chris tallent | July 29, 2005 11:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
remember it is not the size of the rocket that is important it is now fast you get her in to orbet.
38. Posted by chris tallent | July 29, 2005 11:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:13
39. Posted by lawhawk | July 29, 2005 11:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm John Kerry and I approved this message.
39. Posted by lawhawk | July 29, 2005 11:15 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:15
40. Posted by Former Hostage | July 29, 2005 11:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(Guy in red):
Uh...actually, this isn't a model. It's a suppository my doctor prescribed for my 'roids.
40. Posted by Former Hostage | July 29, 2005 11:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:21
41. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | July 29, 2005 11:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Let's modernize NASA by launching Skylab from the top of a Space Shuttle stack."
"No, let's go back to Gemini: everything since then sucked."
41. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | July 29, 2005 11:24 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:24
42. Posted by DennisThePeasant | July 29, 2005 11:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"There I was, in Cambodia on Christmas Eve, my swift boat taking heavy fire from the shoreline, all my crew wounded, with only my trusty Shuttle between me 'n the Gooks..."
42. Posted by DennisThePeasant | July 29, 2005 11:26 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:26
43. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 11:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"uh . . . that would depend on the the definition of 'is' is"
43. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 11:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:36
44. Posted by Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith | July 29, 2005 11:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And this one time, at Space Camp...
44. Posted by Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith | July 29, 2005 11:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:36
45. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 11:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Screw the 40 goats and 20 cows, the way I figure it, if we can get one of these prosthetic suckers strapped on Bill, we'll get Chelsea in trade easy."
45. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 11:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:38
46. Posted by Patrick | July 29, 2005 11:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Oh my...
46. Posted by Patrick | July 29, 2005 11:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:38
47. Posted by a4g | July 29, 2005 11:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Red shirt: "You know, I left Dick Cheney's employ to get away from just this sort of moment."
47. Posted by a4g | July 29, 2005 11:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:43
48. Posted by The WASP | July 29, 2005 11:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian Williams NBC news:
Judy, On the left the man in the blue shirt is holding the George W Bush model and on the right the man in the red shirt is holding the John Kerry model, we know see why Mr. Bush really won re-election.
Judy: indeed Brian.
48. Posted by The WASP | July 29, 2005 11:58 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 11:58
49. Posted by Aaron's cc: | July 29, 2005 12:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
1. Deuce Bigelow casting couch rejects.
2. And Leon is getting larrrrrrger.
3. Mmmmmm.... Astroglide!!!
4. I'll boldly go into your black hole if you boldly go into mine.
49. Posted by Aaron's cc: | July 29, 2005 12:07 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:07
50. Posted by Jinx McHue | July 29, 2005 12:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Red shirt: "See, this is why I hate working for CBS. Here we are trying to give a visual demonstration of the space shuttle, and we get two models that aren't even close to the damn thing! Hell, I think mine's a painted bottle rocket!"
Blue shirt: "True, but remember: they're fake, but accurate."
50. Posted by Jinx McHue | July 29, 2005 12:09 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:09
51. Posted by Peter F. | July 29, 2005 12:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Never before have 2 white men held such big things in their hands.
51. Posted by Peter F. | July 29, 2005 12:15 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:15
52. Posted by Peter F. | July 29, 2005 12:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Never before have two white men held such big pocket rockets in their hands.
52. Posted by Peter F. | July 29, 2005 12:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:16
53. Posted by Insomniac | July 29, 2005 12:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Now, what we can we do to kill two hours and sixteen seconds...?"
53. Posted by Insomniac | July 29, 2005 12:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:20
54. Posted by Daniel Shearon | July 29, 2005 12:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Red: "I stayed up all night building my model and I did it ALL BY MY SELF! I bet YOU didn't even build yours! I bet your DAD built it for you! CHEATER, CHEATER, CHEATER!!!!"
54. Posted by Daniel Shearon | July 29, 2005 12:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:23
55. Posted by Bryan | July 29, 2005 12:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Although the risk of side effects are minimal, if you remain in orbit longer than four hours, seek immediate medical attention."
55. Posted by Bryan | July 29, 2005 12:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:42
56. Posted by OneDrummer | July 29, 2005 12:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
As you can see, Miles, your rocket is designed for entering the atmosphere from the front, while mine is designed for landing on the back side of the moon...
56. Posted by OneDrummer | July 29, 2005 12:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:45
57. Posted by JAT0 | July 29, 2005 12:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Actually Miles I do beleive that the larger one will still fit well up Senator Derbin's *ss. But, as you know NASA does not like to take chances - so we should experiement with both rockets!
57. Posted by JAT0 | July 29, 2005 12:52 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 12:52
58. Posted by bullwinkle | July 29, 2005 1:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
After they all used these model rockets on each other I asked them what they called their act. The father sadi, "We're the Aristocrats".
58. Posted by bullwinkle | July 29, 2005 1:03 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 13:03
59. Posted by CK | July 29, 2005 1:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
NASA discusses their new zero gravity space condoms, now with enhanced rocket propelled thrusters for her pleasure.
59. Posted by CK | July 29, 2005 1:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 13:08
60. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 1:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
". . . Actually we were never able to get Jessica Cutler to endorse either one of these models."
60. Posted by Rodney Dill | July 29, 2005 1:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 13:16
61. Posted by Brian Scott | July 29, 2005 1:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I see your schwartz is bigger than mine.
Moychendizing!
61. Posted by Brian Scott | July 29, 2005 1:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 13:39
62. Posted by The WASP | July 29, 2005 1:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Off Camera:
hey did you hear when Sheila Jackson Lee was visiting the Mars Rover center she asked them if they could go by where the flags were placed in the moon landings?
yea.
well she coming by later becuase i convinced her these were actual rockets and we shrink the astronauts down to fit in them...
that's freakin great!
62. Posted by The WASP | July 29, 2005 1:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 13:46
63. Posted by McCain | July 29, 2005 1:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The space program has really taken it in the ass lately.
63. Posted by McCain | July 29, 2005 1:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 13:46
64. Posted by yukyuk | July 29, 2005 1:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Blue:These ought to keep the astronettes on board really happy!
Red: And some of the guys, too!
64. Posted by yukyuk | July 29, 2005 1:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 13:47
65. Posted by FreakyBoy | July 29, 2005 2:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
GUY ON RIGHT:
"And coincidentally Bob, the squinting we're experiencing is why the song is called 'Turning Japanese'".
65. Posted by FreakyBoy | July 29, 2005 2:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 14:08
66. Posted by observer | July 29, 2005 2:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"The real reason the Shuttles have been grounded is not flying pieces of foam insulation. It is bin Laden's new interceptor here."
66. Posted by observer | July 29, 2005 2:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 14:31
67. Posted by Jody | July 29, 2005 2:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This is a regular rocket, your holding a rocket addicted to Viagra.
67. Posted by Jody | July 29, 2005 2:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 14:41
68. Posted by Vanshalar | July 29, 2005 3:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darn it, BlogDog beat me to what I was gonna say:
"Yeah, but at least mine don't need strap-ons."
68. Posted by Vanshalar | July 29, 2005 3:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 15:00
69. Posted by lawhawk | July 29, 2005 3:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Once the rockets go up, who cares where they come down, that's not my department, says Werner da Clown on the left.
Rockets? I thought you meant sprockets Dieter. Now, let us dance.
69. Posted by lawhawk | July 29, 2005 3:14 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 15:14
70. Posted by Patti | July 29, 2005 3:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is that a rocket in your pocket,
or are you just glad to see me?
70. Posted by Patti | July 29, 2005 3:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 15:19
71. Posted by Billburz | July 29, 2005 3:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So lets see if I understand this correctly, if you want to give an enema to George W Bush, you use the skinny one, and if Ted kennedy needs an enema, you gotta use the big one.......yep
71. Posted by Billburz | July 29, 2005 3:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 15:31
72. Posted by AnonymousDrivel | July 29, 2005 3:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Red shirt: "See, now we coated his with a special foam... for safety."
72. Posted by AnonymousDrivel | July 29, 2005 3:33 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 15:33
73. Posted by robert | July 29, 2005 3:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
A AAhh ahhh AHHHHCHEEWW!
73. Posted by robert | July 29, 2005 3:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 15:51
74. Posted by dooley | July 29, 2005 4:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"That's right Miles, he specifically said do not use my name for an aircraft carrier or submarine. So, you are holding a model of the space shuttle Bill Clinton."
74. Posted by dooley | July 29, 2005 4:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 16:00
75. Posted by Diaz | July 29, 2005 4:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Enzyte considers their next endorsement deal."
75. Posted by Diaz | July 29, 2005 4:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on July 29, 2005 16:12
76. Posted by Not Tony | July 29, 2005 5:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Welcome to Berkeley.
76. Posted by Not Tony | July 29, 2005 5:40 PM |
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Posted on July 29, 2005 17:40
77. Posted by Mrs. Davis | July 29, 2005 5:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It's not the size of the rocket that pulls the rabbit out of the hat, but the magic that it performs.
77. Posted by Mrs. Davis | July 29, 2005 5:44 PM |
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Posted on July 29, 2005 17:44
78. Posted by mhking | July 29, 2005 5:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Miles, the warnings tell you, if erections last longer than four hours you HAVE to call a doctor!"
78. Posted by mhking | July 29, 2005 5:54 PM |
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Posted on July 29, 2005 17:54
79. Posted by AnonymousDrivel | July 29, 2005 10:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Red Shirt in thick, Irish accent: "Aye, but Cap'n... 2 hours 'n 16 seconds?! I don' think she'll 'old!"
79. Posted by AnonymousDrivel | July 29, 2005 10:31 PM |
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Posted on July 29, 2005 22:31
80. Posted by Beck | July 29, 2005 10:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Testing of Dockers' new line of AsbestosKhakis(tm) did not go off without complications..
80. Posted by Beck | July 29, 2005 10:33 PM |
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Posted on July 29, 2005 22:33
81. Posted by RodgerH | July 29, 2005 11:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
See Bob telling Bill about his new "pocket rocket" that Enzyte helped him "erect"?
81. Posted by RodgerH | July 29, 2005 11:01 PM |
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Posted on July 29, 2005 23:01
82. Posted by RodgerH | July 29, 2005 11:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, no, really .....it is really a neck massager - I swear...
82. Posted by RodgerH | July 29, 2005 11:05 PM |
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Posted on July 29, 2005 23:05
83. Posted by Steve the LLamabutcher | July 29, 2005 11:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Oh yeah....well...well...my Paladin Elf has 315 hit points!
83. Posted by Steve the LLamabutcher | July 29, 2005 11:12 PM |
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Posted on July 29, 2005 23:12
84. Posted by Rachel Edith | July 30, 2005 12:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Because of our launch problems Miles, we are going to be playing with the mini rockets for some time to come. No pun intended."
84. Posted by Rachel Edith | July 30, 2005 12:03 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 00:03
85. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | July 30, 2005 1:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I was simply horrified, Miles, to find out that anybody can buy these on Amazon.com."
85. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | July 30, 2005 1:06 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 01:06
86. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | July 30, 2005 1:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"My sources tell me that Senate Democrats are in a heated internal struggle to decide which of these to use on John Roberts during the upcoming Confirmation Hearings. I say, 'Why not both?'"
86. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | July 30, 2005 1:15 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 01:15
87. Posted by robert | July 30, 2005 1:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill: I appreciate this more than you know Fred. Until you showed up I looked pretty damn foolish with my dick stuck in this model spaceship.
Fred: No problem Bill. If you don't mind me asking, how did you get this way? Is this some kind of sex toy?
Bill: You don't know the half of it. You hold it right down here and reverse the thrust... forget the chrome, this thing'll take the whole damn hitch.
Fred: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Bill: Kind of puts you in space don't it?
87. Posted by robert | July 30, 2005 1:32 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 01:32
88. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | July 30, 2005 1:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lubricant? We don't need no stinking lubricant!
88. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | July 30, 2005 1:38 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 01:38
89. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | July 30, 2005 1:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"What are these spacecraft called?"
"Well Miles, mine is called Entendre 1, while yours is known as the Double Entendre."
89. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | July 30, 2005 1:50 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 01:50
90. Posted by spacemonkey | July 30, 2005 3:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tell me this, why is yours.....orange?
90. Posted by spacemonkey | July 30, 2005 3:03 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 03:03
91. Posted by spacemonkey | July 30, 2005 3:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The whole model rocket thing sure doesn't draw the models like you'd think.
91. Posted by spacemonkey | July 30, 2005 3:05 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 03:05
92. Posted by tony | July 30, 2005 3:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...And again, *this* is why CNN won't let me use the stage name 'Miles O'Toole'."
92. Posted by tony | July 30, 2005 3:26 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 03:26
93. Posted by Greg | July 30, 2005 9:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well, Floyd, NASA has finally turned our specialty of payload deployment into something more useful. I've got Nancy Pelosi's daily dose of BOTOX in this here syringe, and you've the new Teddy Kennedy single-malt scotch suppository."
93. Posted by Greg | July 30, 2005 9:29 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 09:29
94. Posted by itismedavid | July 30, 2005 10:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Yes, Miles, while yours is certainly big and boastful, mine is nicely trimmed, sleek and more maneuverable. Mine really is the one the lady astronauts prefer and it has the extended reservoir tip"
94. Posted by itismedavid | July 30, 2005 10:07 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 10:07
95. Posted by Davde | July 30, 2005 10:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
NOW THAT"S A GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND !
95. Posted by Davde | July 30, 2005 10:22 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 10:22
96. Posted by McGehee | July 30, 2005 10:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hal: "...and although I thought my second-place bowling trophy was magnificent, here's Dave, the tournament winner, with the biggest damn bowling trophy I've ever seen. I mean, I'm getting the screaming thigh-sweats just looking at it!"
Dave: "Thank you for sharing, Hal..."
96. Posted by McGehee | July 30, 2005 10:59 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 10:59
97. Posted by Paul Phillips | July 30, 2005 11:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
They aren't happy to see each other, they really do have rockets in their pockets.
97. Posted by Paul Phillips | July 30, 2005 11:05 AM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 11:05
98. Posted by snowballs | July 30, 2005 12:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
O'Brien > Describe for our viewers why these rockets smell so bad.
98. Posted by snowballs | July 30, 2005 12:08 PM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 12:08
99. Posted by martinphilbrook | July 30, 2005 12:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
....and then michael jackson told me to hold my johnson space center like this. Next he told me to do the 'jacko'
99. Posted by martinphilbrook | July 30, 2005 12:25 PM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 12:25
100. Posted by Jazzizhep | July 30, 2005 3:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thats just not fair! You aint't black.
100. Posted by Jazzizhep | July 30, 2005 3:19 PM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 15:19
101. Posted by mesablue | July 30, 2005 3:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SWORD FIGHT!!!
101. Posted by mesablue | July 30, 2005 3:39 PM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 15:39
102. Posted by Dodo David | July 30, 2005 5:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Man on the right: "Although astronauts can come from any branch of the military, Navy seamen tend to be the most suitable for our rockets."
102. Posted by Dodo David | July 30, 2005 5:44 PM |
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Posted on July 30, 2005 17:44
103. Posted by Lasting Magic | July 31, 2005 12:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Miles - "You keep promising to be the next big thing, but it is not clear how big is 'big' or how soon is 'next'."
103. Posted by Lasting Magic | July 31, 2005 12:42 AM |
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Posted on July 31, 2005 00:42
104. Posted by Sheila | July 31, 2005 1:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Wally what do you mean it's girth not length that matters. Beav you saw it on Letterman's show top 10 countdown.
104. Posted by Sheila | July 31, 2005 1:38 AM |
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Posted on July 31, 2005 01:38
105. Posted by Sheila | July 31, 2005 2:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Testing future Rocket launcher leaders in order to tell whose lieing
105. Posted by Sheila | July 31, 2005 2:27 AM |
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Posted on July 31, 2005 02:27
106. Posted by Sheila | July 31, 2005 2:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I like the way yours is balanced on your crotch, can you give me a hand and help me to do the same. Don't worry they can't possible react to our heat.
106. Posted by Sheila | July 31, 2005 2:31 AM |
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Posted on July 31, 2005 02:31
107. Posted by Margaret | July 31, 2005 1:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Now America understands why Soledad fired Bill Hemmer.
107. Posted by Margaret | July 31, 2005 1:53 PM |
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Posted on July 31, 2005 13:53
108. Posted by JD | July 31, 2005 8:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Ribbed...for her pleasure....eeewwwwww...
108. Posted by JD | July 31, 2005 8:22 PM |
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Posted on July 31, 2005 20:22
109. Posted by stan25 | July 31, 2005 10:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Where is Linda Lovelace when you need her?
109. Posted by stan25 | July 31, 2005 10:02 PM |
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Posted on July 31, 2005 22:02
110. Posted by Kevin | August 2, 2005 1:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced (follow the link to read the winning entries). The contest is now closed.
110. Posted by Kevin | August 2, 2005 1:45 AM |
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Posted on August 2, 2005 01:45