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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin

Published: September 9, 2005 - 8:01 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. As part of our Katrina fundraising efforts, this week's contest is sponsored by:

billski.gif
The Original Billski Mods, Inc.
Because stock bikes suck....
Custom parts for your metric cruiser.
Visit us at www.billski182.com


Now on to the captioning... Enter your best caption for the following picture:

US actor Sean Penn paddles a boat after the motor failed to start as he made an attempt to rescue stranded people in New Orleans. Penn rescued several people from flooded houses in the city on September 4, before his boat sprang a leak.(AFP/File/Nicholas Kamm)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced (click the link to read the winning entries). Comments are now closed.

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Comments (141)

"Nobody knows the troubl... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Val Prieto | September 9, 2005 8:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Val Prieto:

"Nobody knows the trouble Ive seen...
Nobody knows my story...."

1. Posted by Val Prieto | September 9, 2005 8:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:18

Sean Penn, plagued by high ... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by bullwinkle | September 9, 2005 8:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
bullwinkle:

Sean Penn, plagued by high debts and a failing career in movies is shown here in his camouflauged boat sneaking through the streets of New Orleans probing the water for unlooted ATMs.

2. Posted by bullwinkle | September 9, 2005 8:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:20

Tragically their craft sank... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Cybrludite | September 9, 2005 8:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cybrludite:

Tragically their craft sank when Sean Penn mistook the boat plug for a butt plug.

3. Posted by Cybrludite | September 9, 2005 8:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:20

Now that the hurricane has ... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Wally | September 9, 2005 8:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Wally:

Now that the hurricane has passed, Sean Penn resumes filming of his low-budget imitation of "Pirates of the Caribbean". Captain Jack Ass, anyone?

4. Posted by Wally | September 9, 2005 8:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:29

Despite having days of warn... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Faith+1 | September 9, 2005 8:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

Despite having days of warning the Sean Penn Emergency Waders were only able to deploy a boat that leaked. An estimated 10,000 Photo Opportunities were tragically missed as S.P.E.W. was unable to find a single person willing to get back in the water. Tim Robbins called for an immediate S.A.G. investigation into the death of the missed Photo Ops.

5. Posted by Faith+1 | September 9, 2005 8:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:31

OK Sean, stop rowing and fi... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by billburz | September 9, 2005 8:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
billburz:

OK Sean, stop rowing and fill up the rest of those water bottles. We gotta help the poor ya know.

6. Posted by billburz | September 9, 2005 8:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:37

Sean: "Are you sure this is... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Moon Monkey | September 9, 2005 8:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Moon Monkey:

Sean: "Are you sure this is how George Washington did it?"
First Mate:"That's what it says in the manual. Maybe if you sit on my hand it will be easier!"


7. Posted by Moon Monkey | September 9, 2005 8:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:44

"Wow, this would make a rea... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Jim | September 9, 2005 8:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jim:

"Wow, this would make a really good picture! Now I wish I hadn't punched my photographer out of the boat for breathing up all my air."

8. Posted by Jim | September 9, 2005 8:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:49

I gotta get Johnny Deep's a... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by JAT0 | September 9, 2005 8:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAT0:

I gotta get Johnny Deep's agent - these bayou gigs are killing me! Hey! Was that a gater!

Or

Alright guy’s from the top - ‘row, row, row your boat; merrily, merrily, we go down…’

You know - it's no fun Zippy the Pennhead is too easy

9. Posted by JAT0 | September 9, 2005 8:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:53

Person on Right (thinking):... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 9, 2005 8:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Person on Right (thinking): "He calls out MARK TWAIN one more time and I'm pushing his sissy ass in."

10. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 9, 2005 8:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 08:58

Sean Penn (thinking): "Dang... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 9, 2005 9:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Sean Penn (thinking): "Dang, I hope I brought enough beads."

11. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 9, 2005 9:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:00

Introducing,"Flak-No-Mo"! P... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Moon Monkey | September 9, 2005 9:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Moon Monkey:

Introducing,"Flak-No-Mo"! Pictured is motion picture star "Camo-Boy" proving that noone can be killed dead while wearing "Flak-No-Mo. Another fine product from Ronco.

12. Posted by Moon Monkey | September 9, 2005 9:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:05

Greenhouse gas or no greenh... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by Yogurt | September 9, 2005 9:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yogurt:

Greenhouse gas or no greenhouse gas, I want a motor next disaster!

13. Posted by Yogurt | September 9, 2005 9:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:06

Armored against any threats... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by epador | September 9, 2005 9:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
epador:

Armored against any threats from fascist Team America, FAG members search for remants of their Peace Delegation to the fair City of New Orleans last seen at the Convention Center. Unbenknownst to them, a special underwater Team France strike force, taking off time from its Lance Armstrong operations, has sabotaged their watercraft with a few pokes from a corkscrew...


F*$k Yeah!

14. Posted by epador | September 9, 2005 9:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:14

Mr. Penn, seen here frantic... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Moley | September 9, 2005 9:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Moley:

Mr. Penn, seen here frantically trying to save his sinking career, I mean boat, was heard screaming "I'M JEFF SPICOLI DAMMIT!"

15. Posted by Moley | September 9, 2005 9:15 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:15

HEY! I can see myself in th... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by sanity | September 9, 2005 9:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
sanity:

HEY! I can see myself in the water.
Don't I look COOL?

16. Posted by sanity | September 9, 2005 9:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:16

Actor Sean Penn provides co... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by dwm | September 9, 2005 9:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
dwm:

Actor Sean Penn provides comic relief to New Orleans residents as he attempts to save his own dumb ass during the shooting of the movie version of
"The Confederacy of Dunces".

17. Posted by dwm | September 9, 2005 9:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:17

"Row, row, row your boat ge... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by DD | September 9, 2005 9:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DD:

"Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream". Another moonbat having difficulty with realty.

18. Posted by DD | September 9, 2005 9:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:21

"I don't care what's in the... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 9, 2005 9:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

"I don't care what's in the water, I said I don't need any shots. I figure if I can survive going down on Madonna all those years, I can survive anything."

19. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 9, 2005 9:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:32

Shown here, a forward think... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Robert | September 9, 2005 9:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Robert:

Shown here, a forward thinking Sean Penn prepositions supplies for the next hurricane by sinking a boatload of water bottles.

"I marked the spot with a red cup" Sean said: "Next time, we will not be unprepared."

20. Posted by Robert | September 9, 2005 9:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:40

ROFL, Laurence's ought to b... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 9, 2005 9:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

ROFL, Laurence's ought to be good for dishonorable mention if not an outright win.
:)

21. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 9, 2005 9:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:46

That Johnny Depp is a pussy... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by BlogDog | September 9, 2005 9:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BlogDog:

That Johnny Depp is a pussy. I'll show him what a real pirate looks like. Yar!

22. Posted by BlogDog | September 9, 2005 9:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:54

"And now an action shot, Mr... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Matt | September 9, 2005 9:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Matt:

"And now an action shot, Mr. Penn... that's it... have the extras look toward the front of the boat... no, the front's the other way, other way... that's it... now you flex... perfect! Got it. Ok, let's get you back here where it's dry and not so smelly."

Or,

I Am Ham

23. Posted by Matt | September 9, 2005 9:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 09:57

Spicolli's latest performan... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | September 9, 2005 10:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SCSIwuzzy:

Spicolli's latest performance piece left critics scratching their heads last week. Billed as an "Uplifting Metaphor for the Party that Cares", the 4 man boat with a crew of three and only one man paddling, promptly sank when the crew didn't bother to learn the first thing about boating.
When asked how this display of incompetence, narcissism and failure was considered an uplifting metaphor, executive producer Karl Rove replied "To whom?" and laughed manically.
Political insider Markos "Screw 'em" Zuniga commented on the performance: "I must study their technique for my next campaign. Their failure makes me look like an amatuer. Red Solo cups! Had I only thought of that in 2003, Dean wouldn't even have lasted into the Iowa primary! I am humbled by Spicoli's ability to self sabotage, and both literaly and figuratively"

24. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | September 9, 2005 10:01 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:01

Hey Madonna let's see Guy R... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by The WASP | September 9, 2005 10:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The WASP:

Hey Madonna let's see Guy Ritchie do this.... please take me back my career is dead...

25. Posted by The WASP | September 9, 2005 10:01 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:01

Sean:come on guys ro... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by The WASP | September 9, 2005 10:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The WASP:

Sean:
come on guys row dammit, Saddam is in the house at the end of this street and he has to be saved!

26. Posted by The WASP | September 9, 2005 10:02 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:02

"I'll hum the tune to Ja... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by McGehee | September 9, 2005 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

"I'll hum the tune to Jaws, and then you scream and fall out of the boat. Twenty bucks says Sean craps himself."

27. Posted by McGehee | September 9, 2005 10:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:09

1) Guy 1: "Michael row the ... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Daniel | September 9, 2005 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Daniel:

1) Guy 1: "Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah..."
Guy 2: "Dude, that's Sean."

or

2) "Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream,
If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream."

28. Posted by Daniel | September 9, 2005 10:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:09

"Just sit right back and yo... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by brandc | September 9, 2005 10:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
brandc:

"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
the skipper brave and sure."

"Goodbye, Joe, me gotta go, me oh my oh.
Me gotta go, pole the pirogue down the bayou.
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gayo,
son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou."

29. Posted by brandc | September 9, 2005 10:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:16

No, no! Sean, you gotta fa... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by jerseychris | September 9, 2005 10:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jerseychris:

No, no! Sean, you gotta face the other way, outside the boat!

30. Posted by jerseychris | September 9, 2005 10:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:22

Sean: “OK, there’s the corn... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Upset Old Guy | September 9, 2005 10:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Upset Old Guy:

Sean: “OK, there’s the corner of Relevance and Sheehan. We need to make a turn left there, guys.”

31. Posted by Upset Old Guy | September 9, 2005 10:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:26

Faded Jeans from "Vibes": ... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by Timmer | September 9, 2005 10:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Timmer:

Faded Jeans from "Vibes": $398.95
Body Armor off Ebay: $150.0
Hairstyle by Anthony Pietro: $200.00
Shades by Blades: $80.00

Having your complete cool blown by the fact you didn't know about the drain plug...

32. Posted by Timmer | September 9, 2005 10:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:29

Sean Penn navigates his ver... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Norm | September 9, 2005 10:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm:

Sean Penn navigates his very own swiftboat in the dangerous waters of Cambodia looking for missing American war hero John Kerry - AP...

33. Posted by Norm | September 9, 2005 10:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:34

I know I used the checklist... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by jack | September 9, 2005 10:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jack:

I know I used the checklist...lemme see

Water...check
Munchies...check
Personal photographer...check
Hair products...check
Motor...crap!

34. Posted by jack | September 9, 2005 10:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:38

Mystic River part Deux!... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by rick13 | September 9, 2005 10:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rick13:

Mystic River part Deux!

35. Posted by rick13 | September 9, 2005 10:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 10:41

Brains? We don't need no s... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by DougR | September 9, 2005 11:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DougR:

Brains? We don't need no stinking brains!

36. Posted by DougR | September 9, 2005 11:02 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:02

"Sean, if I've told you onc... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Boog | September 9, 2005 11:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Boog:

"Sean, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, you're not starring in an action-adventure movie."

37. Posted by Boog | September 9, 2005 11:08 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:08

(cue [i]Dualing Banjoes[/i]... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by CUS | September 9, 2005 11:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
CUS:

(cue [i]Dualing Banjoes[/i])

I haven't been to New Orleans ever, but that doesn't look like a real bad part of town where a lot of poor folk needing water live.

38. Posted by CUS | September 9, 2005 11:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:13

Some of these captions are ... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Falze | September 9, 2005 11:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Falze:

Some of these captions are pretty funny, personally I'm fond of Wally's...but, with about 40 or so captions in...none are as laugh out loud funny as the original caption provided with the picture: just hover your mouse over the picture to see it (I just noticed that last week...d'uh), I think you need to beat that to win the Billski Mods Caption Contest.

39. Posted by Falze | September 9, 2005 11:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:26

Nothing to see here folks. ... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by dooley | September 9, 2005 11:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
dooley:

Nothing to see here folks. Just a little more
SH!T in the water.

40. Posted by dooley | September 9, 2005 11:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:28

The Three Wise Men bearing ... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Moon Monkey | September 9, 2005 11:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Moon Monkey:

The Three Wise Men bearing gifts finally arrive, soon the world will be right again...

41. Posted by Moon Monkey | September 9, 2005 11:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:30

WTF?... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by Matt | September 9, 2005 11:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Matt:

WTF?

42. Posted by Matt | September 9, 2005 11:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:32

"Screw you guys. I may be ... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by Sean Penn | September 9, 2005 11:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sean Penn:

"Screw you guys. I may be a dumbass when it comes to boats, but I'm a big star, and your not...NANANANA! HEY! LOOK A QUARTER! I'm going in!"

43. Posted by Sean Penn | September 9, 2005 11:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:34

Voiceover Announcer</... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by BoDiddly | September 9, 2005 11:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BoDiddly:

Voiceover Announcer
Coming to theatres this winter:
One man. Making a difference.
Battling the forces of racism and hate.

Voiceover Kathy Bates
Don't you go out dere, Bobby! Dat city is de debbul!

Announcer
Ignoring the danger. Beating the odds.

Voiceover Rob Schneider
You can do it!

Announcer
Sean Penn is Bobby Boucher in
Waterboy 2: The Wrath of Katrina

44. Posted by BoDiddly | September 9, 2005 11:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:37

Penn: UHHHH! What the <em... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by Ian Hamet | September 9, 2005 11:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ian Hamet:

Penn: UHHHH! What the hell, man? UHHH! I mean, they said it was going to be work, but -- UHHHH! -- like I don't work my ass off -- UHHHH! -- getting into character playing all those -- UHHHHHHH! -- dumbass redneck jerkwads who -- UHH! -- don't know Perrier from spit. Hey, Dopey! A little help?

Dopey (white shorts): But I was helpin', Mista Penn. Ya told me ta stop 'cause not everyone was lookin' at you!

THWACK!

45. Posted by Ian Hamet | September 9, 2005 11:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:43

Damn, why do I only get the... (Below threshold)

46. Posted by Smoke Eater | September 9, 2005 11:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Smoke Eater:

Damn, why do I only get these sh*$*y movies!? It's gotta be like Hillary said, the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. I dunno, maybe Sheehan can scream a little more and blame Chimpy for my career problems.

46. Posted by Smoke Eater | September 9, 2005 11:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:47

"You know Sean, if you hadn... (Below threshold)

47. Posted by bOOf | September 9, 2005 11:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
bOOf:

"You know Sean, if you hadn't traded my camera to those looters (dumbass looters reference) for this water, I could take some really cool pictures of your stupid ass sinkin'!"

47. Posted by bOOf | September 9, 2005 11:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 11:51

"Only a few hundred ... (Below threshold)

48. Posted by Chris Meisenzahl | September 9, 2005 12:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chris Meisenzahl:


"Only a few hundred yards more and we can rescue Mr. Hand. I still owe him from when I interupted his US History class."


Chris
http://amateureconblog.blogspot.com/

48. Posted by Chris Meisenzahl | September 9, 2005 12:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:00

All I need are some tasty w... (Below threshold)

49. Posted by OneDrummer | September 9, 2005 12:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OneDrummer:

All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine... Aloha Mr. Hand!

49. Posted by OneDrummer | September 9, 2005 12:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:07

Fishing for a Career - star... (Below threshold)

50. Posted by allium | September 9, 2005 12:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
allium:

Fishing for a Career - starring Sean Penn


"How will we remember how to find this spot tomorrow?"
"easy, Sean maked a big X on the side of the boat"

50. Posted by allium | September 9, 2005 12:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:16

Sean Penn's rescue mission ... (Below threshold)

51. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 9, 2005 12:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

Sean Penn's rescue mission into the New Orleans to help the Black man from being oppressed by Bush ran into trouble when he 1) got lost in a neighborhood with a median income well above the rest of New Orleans, 2) he found that no matter how high the limit was on his credit card, the gas pumps just didn't recognize how important he was toward world peace, 3) he discovered what the little plugy thingy was for in the boat, 4) while a flack vest without the ceramic pads was much easier to wear, it didn't live up to use expectations, 5) a boat with more actors and personal photographers than crew was not the most efficient means of rescuing people and 6) that he was a "purty boy" and could be made to "squeal like a pig" by a heavyset gentleman with no front teeth named Coo-Coot.

51. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 9, 2005 12:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:19

DD gets my vote, because th... (Below threshold)

52. Posted by Tom Blogical | September 9, 2005 12:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

DD gets my vote, because that's the first thing that popped into my mind!

And now, joining us on NBC live and on site for the Hurricane Katrina Relief Benefit, Sean Penn and the Moonbat River Band.

Sean Penn: "With apologies to Henry Mancini and Johnny Mercer...uh 1, 2, 3..."

"Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me."

52. Posted by Tom Blogical | September 9, 2005 12:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:23

crikey! he's a big one allr... (Below threshold)

53. Posted by Henry | September 9, 2005 12:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Henry:

crikey! he's a big one allryt!

53. Posted by Henry | September 9, 2005 12:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:36

A picture of a dinghy and a... (Below threshold)

54. Posted by sentinel | September 9, 2005 12:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
sentinel:

A picture of a dinghy and a small boat filled with three people.

54. Posted by sentinel | September 9, 2005 12:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:37

Penn struggles to position ... (Below threshold)

55. Posted by Bob | September 9, 2005 12:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bob:

Penn struggles to position the stick just so . . . just a little more and it will truly be up his ass.

55. Posted by Bob | September 9, 2005 12:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:38

Sean Penn drove his chevy t... (Below threshold)

56. Posted by Norman | September 9, 2005 12:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norman:

Sean Penn drove his chevy to the levee only to discover his american pie in the sky dream was covered in fetid waters...

And in the streets: the networks screamed,
then Blanco cried, and Nagin dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
The church bells all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:
The father, son, and the holy ghost,
They caught the last train for the coast
The day New Orleans died...

56. Posted by Norman | September 9, 2005 12:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:41

Michael Moore: "Quiet every... (Below threshold)

57. Posted by capitano | September 9, 2005 12:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
capitano:

Michael Moore: "Quiet everybody. OK, action! "

"Just keep paddling Sean and don't worry about the flak jacket. By the time I'm done editing, I'll have you in buckskins looking like Andy Jackson commanding a dugout canoe."

57. Posted by capitano | September 9, 2005 12:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:50

"You just stay there and ta... (Below threshold)

58. Posted by JLawson | September 9, 2005 12:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JLawson:

"You just stay there and take pictures as we establish the mood shot by poleing away from you."

J.

58. Posted by JLawson | September 9, 2005 12:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:50

After straining himself bai... (Below threshold)

59. Posted by Pigilito | September 9, 2005 12:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pigilito:

After straining himself bailing with his kegger cup, Sean Penn was forced to wear a humiliting truss and carry a cane.

59. Posted by Pigilito | September 9, 2005 12:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:51

In a show of selfless compa... (Below threshold)

60. Posted by MikeB | September 9, 2005 12:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MikeB:

In a show of selfless compasion to those currently standed in New Orleans, Sean Penn travels through the flooded streets acting out various skits to comfort those dying of hunger and thirst. Seen here Penn, using an oar as an improvised guitar, pretends to be Bruce Springsteen while nasally chanting, "War.. huh.. Good God y'all".

60. Posted by MikeB | September 9, 2005 12:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 12:53

"Not much further boys; we'... (Below threshold)

61. Posted by capitano | September 9, 2005 1:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
capitano:

"Not much further boys; we'll be stopping for lunch at Sodomy Creek."

61. Posted by capitano | September 9, 2005 1:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:02

Colombian drug dealers impl... (Below threshold)

62. Posted by DWC | September 9, 2005 1:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DWC:

Colombian drug dealers implement emergency distribution plan in New Orleans.

62. Posted by DWC | September 9, 2005 1:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:07

Sean Penn's promo video for... (Below threshold)

63. Posted by JAT0 | September 9, 2005 1:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAT0:

Sean Penn's promo video for his new film: Crazy Frog along the Bayou! Deeng..Deeng..Deeng!

63. Posted by JAT0 | September 9, 2005 1:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:14

Sure we brought enough wate... (Below threshold)

64. Posted by plainslow | September 9, 2005 1:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
plainslow:

Sure we brought enough water? I have a powerful thirst.

64. Posted by plainslow | September 9, 2005 1:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:18

In this Greenpeace photo , ... (Below threshold)

65. Posted by Doug | September 9, 2005 1:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Doug:

In this Greenpeace photo , you can see proof of the serious and disgusting toxins released into the waters flooding New Orleans.

65. Posted by Doug | September 9, 2005 1:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:19

All I need are some tasty w... (Below threshold)

66. Posted by Mark | September 9, 2005 1:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mark:

All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.

66. Posted by Mark | September 9, 2005 1:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:19

All I need are some tasty w... (Below threshold)

67. Posted by Zippy | September 9, 2005 1:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Zippy:

All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.

67. Posted by Zippy | September 9, 2005 1:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:35

"Let's see, water,(check) o... (Below threshold)

68. Posted by DavidK | September 9, 2005 1:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DavidK:

"Let's see, water,(check) oars(check), life jackets in boat(check),Personal supplies (check) camera crew (check), biographer (check), new agencies knowing I am here to rescue people (check), room to rescue people in boat(.....I'm screwed).

68. Posted by DavidK | September 9, 2005 1:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:38

Sean: 'Turn off the camera ... (Below threshold)

69. Posted by DeputyHeadmistress | September 9, 2005 1:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DeputyHeadmistress:

Sean: 'Turn off the camera NOW. I think I split my pants."

69. Posted by DeputyHeadmistress | September 9, 2005 1:44 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 13:44

"I think we are going to ne... (Below threshold)

70. Posted by Pete Bondurant | September 9, 2005 2:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pete Bondurant:

"I think we are going to need a bigger boat"

70. Posted by Pete Bondurant | September 9, 2005 2:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:09

Commander Penn: "Ah, but th... (Below threshold)

71. Posted by Jeff | September 9, 2005 2:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Commander Penn: "Ah, but the strawberries! That's, that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with, with geometric logic, that, that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist. I will prove that Bush is the one that ate the strawberries...he had the duplicate key...I will find that key and finally prove it to everybody"

71. Posted by Jeff | September 9, 2005 2:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:17

"From Mystic River to a sew... (Below threshold)

72. Posted by Jerry | September 9, 2005 2:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jerry:

"From Mystic River to a sewage river... finally a a place where I belong"!

72. Posted by Jerry | September 9, 2005 2:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:19

"Cut! That's a wrap!"... (Below threshold)

73. Posted by scott | September 9, 2005 2:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scott:

"Cut! That's a wrap!"

73. Posted by scott | September 9, 2005 2:31 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:31

"DOn't worry dudes, my Dad'... (Below threshold)

74. Posted by LJD | September 9, 2005 2:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
LJD:

"DOn't worry dudes, my Dad's a TV repairman.... He's got this killer set of tools.....

74. Posted by LJD | September 9, 2005 2:33 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:33

"Forget that cripple... my ... (Below threshold)

75. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 9, 2005 2:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

"Forget that cripple... my Oscar fell overboard!"

75. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 9, 2005 2:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:34

Now where did I stash that ... (Below threshold)

76. Posted by stan25 | September 9, 2005 2:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
stan25:

Now where did I stash that bale of pot that I bought last week?

76. Posted by stan25 | September 9, 2005 2:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:35

"as the waters in New Orlea... (Below threshold)

77. Posted by INK | September 9, 2005 2:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
INK:

"as the waters in New Orleans start to drain back into the lake we can see more and more of the sewage and dead(careers) floating through the streets."
"however there was a bit of good news today in New Orleans , as horrible actor and part time blow hole Sean Penn has annouced he has checked out New Orleans and there are no WMD's there either.........the streets are safe and we should all go home."

77. Posted by INK | September 9, 2005 2:39 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:39

Take me to the river, <br /... (Below threshold)

78. Posted by Stephen Macklin | September 9, 2005 2:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

Take me to the river,
drop me in the water
Take me to the river,
dip me in the water
Washing me down,
washing me down

78. Posted by Stephen Macklin | September 9, 2005 2:42 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:42

Coming soon to a Theater ne... (Below threshold)

79. Posted by rorochub | September 9, 2005 2:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rorochub:

Coming soon to a Theater near you...You loved Driving Miss Daisy so much that Sean Penn decided to make a sequel...Boating with Miss Katrina.

79. Posted by rorochub | September 9, 2005 2:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:52

duuuuude...I'm sooo wasted<... (Below threshold)

80. Posted by heymike | September 9, 2005 2:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
heymike:

duuuuude...I'm sooo wasted

80. Posted by heymike | September 9, 2005 2:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 14:53

(Sean Penn Thought Bubble):... (Below threshold)

81. Posted by Moon Monkey | September 9, 2005 3:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Moon Monkey:

(Sean Penn Thought Bubble): "What pisses me off, is knowing that this will probably go on my permanent record. Damn! Maybe I'll catch a break and nobody will see me. Heh,heh,heh..."

81. Posted by Moon Monkey | September 9, 2005 3:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:01

Bush sinks Sean Penns boat!... (Below threshold)

82. Posted by M.E. | September 9, 2005 3:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
M.E.:

Bush sinks Sean Penns boat! CNN reporter, Anderson Cooper,will have eye witness report from citizen who saw Karl Rove slip into nearby limo just moment's before the boat started to take on water.Tune in to CNN tonight at seven as Anderson's investigation continues into this White House effort to sabatoge heroic efforts to save lives in New Orleans.

82. Posted by M.E. | September 9, 2005 3:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:01

Quick, duck! Dubya is flyin... (Below threshold)

83. Posted by takefive | September 9, 2005 3:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
takefive:

Quick, duck! Dubya is flying over! Aw, don't worry...he isn't close enough to see anything!

83. Posted by takefive | September 9, 2005 3:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:05

Worst rescue ever.... (Below threshold)

84. Posted by Falze | September 9, 2005 3:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Falze:

Worst rescue ever.

(where's comic book guy?)

84. Posted by Falze | September 9, 2005 3:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:13

Hmmmmm . . . maybe there's ... (Below threshold)

85. Posted by tom fredette | September 9, 2005 3:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tom fredette:

Hmmmmm . . . maybe there's more to this search and rescue stuff than what we see on CNN . . .

85. Posted by tom fredette | September 9, 2005 3:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:13

That's the last time I buy ... (Below threshold)

86. Posted by Bill | September 9, 2005 3:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill:

That's the last time I buy an outboard from jane Fonda! Anyone got any vegetable oil?

86. Posted by Bill | September 9, 2005 3:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:22

The Democratic Party finall... (Below threshold)

87. Posted by Jonathan Love | September 9, 2005 3:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jonathan Love:

The Democratic Party finally announced their "Plan" for fixing Social Security.

87. Posted by Jonathan Love | September 9, 2005 3:32 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:32

One passenger: "Okay, while... (Below threshold)

88. Posted by OC Chuck | September 9, 2005 3:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OC Chuck:

One passenger: "Okay, while he's not looking, pull that plug and toss it overboard."

Other passenger: "Right, done. This is the stupidest thing I've ever been involved in."

Photographer passenger: "Well, maybe I'll at least get some new photo gigs outta this."

88. Posted by OC Chuck | September 9, 2005 3:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:53

Sean: "Hey, now where did y... (Below threshold)

89. Posted by OC Chuck | September 9, 2005 3:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OC Chuck:

Sean: "Hey, now where did you say those Iranian voters were?"

89. Posted by OC Chuck | September 9, 2005 3:56 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 15:56

Dude, all this bottled wate... (Below threshold)

90. Posted by Dangerous Dan | September 9, 2005 4:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dangerous Dan:

Dude, all this bottled water is weighing us down. Better toss it overboard. Get a picture first, though.

90. Posted by Dangerous Dan | September 9, 2005 4:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 16:02

Another Karl Rove plot unle... (Below threshold)

91. Posted by Bob | September 9, 2005 4:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bob:

Another Karl Rove plot unleashed.

91. Posted by Bob | September 9, 2005 4:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 16:20

How high's the water, mama?... (Below threshold)

92. Posted by Dodo David | September 9, 2005 4:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dodo David:

How high's the water, mama?
Five feet high and risin'
How high's the water, papa?
Five feet high and risin'

Well, the rails are washed out north of town
We gotta head for higher ground
We can't come back till the water comes down,
Five feet high and risin'

Well, it's five feet high and risin'

- From the Johnny Cash song Five Feet High and Risin'

92. Posted by Dodo David | September 9, 2005 4:56 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 16:56

A dodo and water full of do... (Below threshold)

93. Posted by Porkopolis | September 9, 2005 4:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Porkopolis:

A dodo and water full of do-do in the land of Voodoo.

93. Posted by Porkopolis | September 9, 2005 4:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 16:57

South of the border, down C... (Below threshold)

94. Posted by JAT0 | September 9, 2005 5:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAT0:

South of the border, down Cambodia way, LTJG Penn is heard saying: "If I only had my lucky hat!

94. Posted by JAT0 | September 9, 2005 5:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 17:00

Sean Penn opens himself to ... (Below threshold)

95. Posted by Chris | September 9, 2005 5:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chris:

Sean Penn opens himself to ridicule by the thousands of Wizbang posters who were out in the waters of New Orleans rescuing people.

95. Posted by Chris | September 9, 2005 5:15 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 17:15

IDIOT IN A BOAT... (Below threshold)

96. Posted by Dave G | September 9, 2005 5:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave G:

IDIOT IN A BOAT

96. Posted by Dave G | September 9, 2005 5:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 17:16

On tonight's episode of McP... (Below threshold)

97. Posted by DWC | September 9, 2005 5:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DWC:

On tonight's episode of McPenn's Navy: Commander Penn and Ensign Parker steal Captain Binghamton's crack and peddle it to Jap submariners.

97. Posted by DWC | September 9, 2005 5:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 17:17

"We were somewhere inside N... (Below threshold)

98. Posted by Jim Treacher | September 9, 2005 5:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jim Treacher:

"We were somewhere inside New Orleans when the reality began to take hold..."

98. Posted by Jim Treacher | September 9, 2005 5:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 17:41

You did the motorboat, didn... (Below threshold)

99. Posted by ChipMathis | September 9, 2005 5:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
ChipMathis:

You did the motorboat, didn't you?

You motorboatin' son of a bitch!

99. Posted by ChipMathis | September 9, 2005 5:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 17:49

"Row row row my boat, <br /... (Below threshold)

100. Posted by JimK | September 9, 2005 5:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JimK:

"Row row row my boat,
bravely wearing my vest
boat's to small
and I'm a tool
but think of all the press..."

100. Posted by JimK | September 9, 2005 5:59 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 17:59

Captain Ned of "The Raging ... (Below threshold)

101. Posted by jumbo | September 9, 2005 6:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jumbo:

Captain Ned of "The Raging Queen" snarls at his crew, "Arrrghhh, bring me me cabin boy!"

101. Posted by jumbo | September 9, 2005 6:07 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 18:07

Cap'n Penn, we done sprung ... (Below threshold)

102. Posted by mammoth | September 9, 2005 6:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
mammoth:

Cap'n Penn, we done sprung a leak !!

Damn you George Bush !! Damn you !!

102. Posted by mammoth | September 9, 2005 6:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 18:09

"When the oar hits your ... (Below threshold)

103. Posted by odrady | September 9, 2005 6:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
odrady:

"When the oar hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that Spicolil..."

103. Posted by odrady | September 9, 2005 6:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 18:35

"Damn Bob Denver!" Sean Pen... (Below threshold)

104. Posted by Kevin P. Craver | September 9, 2005 6:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin P. Craver:

"Damn Bob Denver!" Sean Penn said as his boat sank into the New Orleans ooze, reflecting with a hint of irony that perhaps Gilligan was an example of what NOT to do on the open water.

104. Posted by Kevin P. Craver | September 9, 2005 6:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 18:36

Row, row your boat into obl... (Below threshold)

105. Posted by muggsyswife | September 9, 2005 6:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
muggsyswife:

Row, row your boat into oblivion!

105. Posted by muggsyswife | September 9, 2005 6:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 18:43

Sean Penn crossing Delaware... (Below threshold)

106. Posted by fooltomery | September 9, 2005 6:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fooltomery:

Sean Penn crossing Delaware Boulevard

106. Posted by fooltomery | September 9, 2005 6:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 18:52

Was this ego trip really ne... (Below threshold)

107. Posted by Patrick Lasswell | September 9, 2005 7:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Patrick Lasswell:

Was this ego trip really necessary?

The Three Stooges Go to New Orleans, Starring Sean Penn as Shemp!

If he ever gets the motor running, I'll pay the gas if he keeps going until he gets to Canada...and never comes back.

107. Posted by Patrick Lasswell | September 9, 2005 7:55 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 19:55

Sean Penn, his publicist, a... (Below threshold)

108. Posted by Roger Fraley | September 9, 2005 8:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Roger Fraley:

Sean Penn, his publicist, and toady friend manage, despite the odds, to rescue all the Desani bottled water left in New Orleans last week.

108. Posted by Roger Fraley | September 9, 2005 8:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 20:26

Sean Penn demonstrates why ... (Below threshold)

109. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 9, 2005 8:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Sean Penn demonstrates why "Democrat leadership" is an oxymoron - with an emphasis on the moron.

109. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 9, 2005 8:31 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 20:31

Rub a dub dub, three... (Below threshold)

110. Posted by McCain | September 9, 2005 8:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Rub a dub dub,
three men in a tub.

110. Posted by McCain | September 9, 2005 8:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 20:36

"I was distracted by George... (Below threshold)

111. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 9, 2005 8:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

"I was distracted by George W. Bush's staggering incompetence!" - Sean Penn, explaining why he forgot to plug his boat.

111. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 9, 2005 8:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 20:36

"Dudes on 'ludes should ... (Below threshold)

112. Posted by McGehee | September 9, 2005 8:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

"Dudes on 'ludes should not row!"

112. Posted by McGehee | September 9, 2005 8:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 20:57

Uh, Sean, I don't think tha... (Below threshold)

113. Posted by Chistopher Scott | September 9, 2005 9:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chistopher Scott:

Uh, Sean, I don't think that crowbar makes a real good paddle.

113. Posted by Chistopher Scott | September 9, 2005 9:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 21:37

Sean Penn, desparate to rek... (Below threshold)

114. Posted by RodgerH | September 9, 2005 11:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
RodgerH:

Sean Penn, desparate to rekindle his acting career, sets out to do a modern remake of "Deliverance" (Banjo strum in background for effect)

114. Posted by RodgerH | September 9, 2005 11:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 9, 2005 23:57

I have come to deliver good... (Below threshold)

115. Posted by Greg | September 10, 2005 12:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Greg:

I have come to deliver good news to the poor and homeless of New Orleans....I just saved a bunch on my car insurance by switching to Geico!

115. Posted by Greg | September 10, 2005 12:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 00:54

Quick! Start bailing! You c... (Below threshold)

116. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 10, 2005 1:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Quick! Start bailing! You can use these.

116. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 10, 2005 1:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 01:34

Sean Penn demonstrates to M... (Below threshold)

117. Posted by The Bastard | September 10, 2005 2:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Bastard:

Sean Penn demonstrates to Michael Brown how exactly he was able to get into the city. Mr. Brown writes it down for the next time the National Guard needs directions!!!

117. Posted by The Bastard | September 10, 2005 2:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 02:25

Newspaper headline reads:</... (Below threshold)

118. Posted by Robert | September 10, 2005 7:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Robert:

Newspaper headline reads:

SEAN PENN MAKES DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO SAVE JACQUES CHIRAC

Duuuuude, the guy lives in France...not the French Quarter you moron.

118. Posted by Robert | September 10, 2005 7:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 07:41

(singing) "I've....g... (Below threshold)

119. Posted by Brian Epps | September 10, 2005 8:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian Epps:

(singing)
"I've....got.....a teenie little dinghy!"

119. Posted by Brian Epps | September 10, 2005 8:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 08:13

Rowing....Rowing.....Rowing... (Below threshold)

120. Posted by The Man | September 10, 2005 8:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Man:

Rowing....Rowing.....Rowing down the river

120. Posted by The Man | September 10, 2005 8:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 08:24

New York Times Press Releas... (Below threshold)

121. Posted by Robert | September 10, 2005 8:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Robert:

New York Times Press Release:

"After hearing reports that this disaster was caused by global warming, Sean Penn has come to Louisiana to save baby seals from the now melting New Orleans Ice Shelf." When asked about his life saving mission Penn was quoted as saying "George Bush doesn't care about baby seals. He let all of the 'black' seals leave but left all of the baby 'white' seals to die. HELP ME AMERICA! Help my save baby seals from George Bush."

121. Posted by Robert | September 10, 2005 8:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 08:28

. . . If you flood it, t... (Below threshold)

122. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2005 8:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

. . . If you flood it, they will come . . .
Exerpt from new Doubleday book, Asshattery for Dummies - (by Rodney Dill, 2005)

122. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2005 8:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 08:52

My dingy's broken - maybe t... (Below threshold)

123. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 10, 2005 9:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maury Finkelstein:

My dingy's broken - maybe that's why Madonna kicked me to the curb.

123. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 10, 2005 9:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 09:06

"Where's John Kerry and his... (Below threshold)

124. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 10, 2005 9:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maury Finkelstein:

"Where's John Kerry and his damn Swift Boat when you need him?"

124. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 10, 2005 9:08 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 09:08

Boating experts agreed that... (Below threshold)

125. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 10, 2005 9:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maury Finkelstein:

Boating experts agreed that had Mr. Penn been willing to heave his ego and his personal photographer overboard, his dinghy might not have capsized.

125. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 10, 2005 9:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 09:13

No caption just a message f... (Below threshold)

126. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 10, 2005 9:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maury Finkelstein:

No caption just a message for Sean: GO fuck yourself

126. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 10, 2005 9:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 09:14

...must be one of them new ... (Below threshold)

127. Posted by Adjustah | September 10, 2005 11:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Adjustah:

...must be one of them new Hot Air Boats...

127. Posted by Adjustah | September 10, 2005 11:01 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 11:01

Sean Pen proves that it's b... (Below threshold)

128. Posted by Chris | September 10, 2005 12:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chris:

Sean Pen proves that it's best not to actually go to New Orleans yourself and try to help people, because if anything goes wrong you'll be ridiculed by a bunch of right wingers posting from their dry living rooms a thousand miles away.

128. Posted by Chris | September 10, 2005 12:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 12:09

Hooligans’ Navy is on the o... (Below threshold)

129. Posted by stan25 | September 10, 2005 12:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
stan25:

Hooligans’ Navy is on the outlook for homes and businesses that have not been looted.

129. Posted by stan25 | September 10, 2005 12:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 12:35

Watch out, the left wing Na... (Below threshold)

130. Posted by stan25 | September 10, 2005 12:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
stan25:

Watch out, the left wing Navy is out in force

130. Posted by stan25 | September 10, 2005 12:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 12:37

'OK, the bubbles have stopp... (Below threshold)

131. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2005 12:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

'OK, the bubbles have stopped, I'm gonna let Madonna float now."

131. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 10, 2005 12:42 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 12:42

"I think we're going to nee... (Below threshold)

132. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2005 12:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
charles austin:

"I think we're going to need a bigger boat."

Behold in wonder at Captain Penn's monomanical pursuit of the great white male (Bush).

From Variety: Oliver Stone has signed Sean Penn for his 21st century, postmodern version of Huck Finn! Rumor has it that screenwriter Harold Pinter has woven no fewer than eighteen conspiracies into a giant rollercoaster of a movie that ends with the public execution of leading members of the GOP to the acclaim of the public and media.

Big Muckety-muck on the Big Muddy.

132. Posted by charles austin | September 10, 2005 12:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 12:43

penn, "The whole idea was t... (Below threshold)

133. Posted by TheEnigma | September 10, 2005 3:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
TheEnigma:

penn, "The whole idea was to get a photo-op. I'm not moving until they get the lights and cameras set up. Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open and tell me when they are ready for 'my appearance'"

133. Posted by TheEnigma | September 10, 2005 3:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 15:25

Spicoli Dips Dinghy in Big ... (Below threshold)

134. Posted by AnonymousDrivel | September 10, 2005 7:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
AnonymousDrivel:

Spicoli Dips Dinghy in Big Easy, Madonna Jealous

or

Penn to First Mates: "Yo, Guys! Start dumping the supplies. That ballast is cramping my back and my style!"

or

Dueling Banjos faintly echoing in the distance, Sean Penn masterfully steers his weekend warriors down Cahulawassee Lane.

or, more briefly

"Does anyone hear a banjo?"

or, and keeping with theme,

"Burt brings bows and arrows, I bring a flak jacket. He's offense, I'm defense. And some think he is the smart one?!"

134. Posted by AnonymousDrivel | September 10, 2005 7:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 19:00

(Sean Penn schemes to make ... (Below threshold)

135. Posted by Robert | September 10, 2005 9:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Robert:

(Sean Penn schemes to make sure that he is given the best dialog.) "I think this floater will do as Jim in my remake of 'Huckleberry Finn'."

135. Posted by Robert | September 10, 2005 9:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 10, 2005 21:38

Get the fuck out of the way... (Below threshold)

136. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 11, 2005 12:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maury Finkelstein:

Get the fuck out of the way Spicoli and take that piece of shit boat with you. You're getting in the way of the real rescuers. Why don't you go over to the Hyatt and take a few bong hits with Mayor Nagin?

If you must stay, here's some suggestions on what you might do to help:

If you want to search, then you should search for some of the New Orleans police officers that deserted their posts.

Work with officials to help restore power. Handling live electrical wires is dangerous business and to be blunt, you're expendable. I'd rather see a leftist burnout case like you catch 1,000,000 volts than an electrical technician who is adding value to the cleanup efforts.

I heard that you were going to be distributing VHS and DVD copies of some of your past movies to hurricane victims. How nice. Please do not distribute any copies of "Shanghai Surprise." New Orleans has seen enough destruction and distributing a bomb like it would be counter-productive

136. Posted by Maury Finkelstein | September 11, 2005 12:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 11, 2005 00:03

All I need is a cool buzz, ... (Below threshold)

137. Posted by Todd | September 11, 2005 12:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Todd:

All I need is a cool buzz, some tasty waves, and I`m fine.... Dude where did you get that jacket?..

137. Posted by Todd | September 11, 2005 12:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 11, 2005 00:06

I can fix it....... (Below threshold)

138. Posted by Todd | September 11, 2005 12:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Todd:

I can fix it....

138. Posted by Todd | September 11, 2005 12:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 11, 2005 00:09

Sean Penn shouting to the M... (Below threshold)

139. Posted by stan25 | September 11, 2005 11:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
stan25:

Sean Penn shouting to the MSM: Hey do you think that we could get a Purple Heart, like our hero John F Kerry?

139. Posted by stan25 | September 11, 2005 11:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 11, 2005 11:13

In a caption bubble coming ... (Below threshold)

140. Posted by fustian | September 11, 2005 5:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

In a caption bubble coming from just out of the frame: "Hey cher, just what kind of asshole brings an entourage and a personal photographer to a disaster area?"

140. Posted by fustian | September 11, 2005 5:40 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 11, 2005 17:40

Update: <... (Below threshold)

141. Posted by Kevin | September 12, 2005 12:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin:

Update: Winners announced (click the link to read the winning entries). Comments are now closed.

141. Posted by Kevin | September 12, 2005 12:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 12, 2005 12:17




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