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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

President Bush attends a Security Council meeting at the World Summit at the United Nations headquarters in New York Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2005. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced (click the link to read the winning entries). Comments are now closed.


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Comments (164)

I will not piss my pants. ... (Below threshold)

I will not piss my pants. I will not piss my pants. I will not piss my pants. I will not piss my pants. I will not piss my pants. I will not piss my pants. I will not piss my pants. I will not piss my pants.

Damn.

I have to pee.... (Below threshold)

I have to pee.

Maybe I should have a glass... (Below threshold)
Just John:

Maybe I should have a glass of water.

"What else is Reuters going... (Below threshold)
KobeClan:

"What else is Reuters going to Photoshop?"

It's so boring now that Kar... (Below threshold)
Adam:

It's so boring now that Karl's taken away my notepad!

I picked a fine time to tan... (Below threshold)
Wally:

I picked a fine time to tank up on beer and watermelon at that lunch buffet. Are we ever gonna take a break?

"I wonder if I could convin... (Below threshold)
KobeClan:

"I wonder if I could convince Laura that the picture of Karl and me naked was Photoshopped?"

The President learns that a... (Below threshold)
Wally:

The President learns that all those years of pretending to be interested while his mother droned on finally paid off.

Heheheh, I wonder how many ... (Below threshold)

Heheheh, I wonder how many people will notice I'm not holding a yellow #2 pencil in my hand...Ths is some boring shit...OH no! I never should have said that...

How can Rove and I arrange ... (Below threshold)
Diane:

How can Rove and I arrange for a hurricane to hit THIS place?

Did I turn the coffee maker... (Below threshold)
HEYmIKE:

Did I turn the coffee maker off?

Now how'd that go....Fool m... (Below threshold)
takefive:

Now how'd that go....Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice.......Aw, shucks!

Bill gets Monica and I get ... (Below threshold)

Bill gets Monica and I get Katrina. I think that maybe Karl misunderstood when I said that I wanted a blowjob from a big woman.

"When Kennedy passed me tha... (Below threshold)

"When Kennedy passed me that note asking if Condi could take him to the bathroom, I thought he was kidding."

The deluge in Louisi... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

The deluge in Louisiana, has lead to a Torrent of rescue and recovery activities. The donations are starting to trickle in, and soon a downpour of goodwill is expected from the international community. Soon the dam will burst and donations from all sources will come flooding in. The US will be flush with monetary aid for the victims of the tempest. Already the Stream has started and ... Uh, Mr. President, I think you're turning a little green . . .

If I have to listen to anot... (Below threshold)
haldirbork:

If I have to listen to another minute of Coffee Anon drone on about the US not leading the world, I'll show him exactly how much a cowboy I can be!!

Man... did I lock the gate ... (Below threshold)

Man... did I lock the gate on the back fence in Crawford?

Man, when the told me in th... (Below threshold)

Man, when the told me in the AA meetings somedays would be harder than others... I had no idea.

Never mind, Condie. It's to... (Below threshold)

Never mind, Condie. It's too late.

"I wish that Algerian guy n... (Below threshold)
Gizmo:

"I wish that Algerian guy next to me would stop refilling his water glass!"

Sigh. Well, I'd rather lis... (Below threshold)
Mark:

Sigh. Well, I'd rather listen to these baffoons blather on rather than be John Roberts and have to listen to THOSE baffoons blather on.

When I get through with Bou... (Below threshold)
Lew Clark:

When I get through with Boulton for conning me into this, he'll be singing out of the other side of that moustache.

(Thought bubble) "Time to t... (Below threshold)

(Thought bubble) "Time to try that telepathy thing Karl was telling me about. You will call for a short break... you will call for a short break... damn I have to pee..."

Everyone can stop now, Mark... (Below threshold)
Darby:

Everyone can stop now, Mark has the winner. WTG Mark, damn nearly pissed myself with that one.

If there was ever a time to... (Below threshold)

If there was ever a time to poke myself in the eye with a sharp stick... Oh, drat. I don't have a sharp stick. I'll have to use my pinky.

"I get so sick and tired of... (Below threshold)

"I get so sick and tired of listening to some third world thug lecture us about human rights. It's like John Roberts having to listen to moral posturings by Teddy Kennedy."

Why do they always have to ... (Below threshold)
Levi:

Why do they always have to use such big words?

I wonder which one of my no... (Below threshold)
Mark L.:

I wonder which one of my notes Reuters is going to photoshop next.

When Bolton told me I had t... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

When Bolton told me I had to plan on being able to go 72 hours on my own resources I thought he was kidding. The UN competency mark is further underwater than New Orleans.

"I wonder what Cindy Sheeha... (Below threshold)

"I wonder what Cindy Sheehan is doing RIGHT NOW"

"These foreigners sure spea... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

"These foreigners sure speak funny"

Whoa, this is even more bor... (Below threshold)
Sheik Yur Bouty:

Whoa, this is even more boring than my cabinet meetings. There, I can at least surf Wizbang while pretending to listen Chertoff drone on about New Orleans.

FreakyBoy,He's fro... (Below threshold)
Sheik Yur Bouty:

FreakyBoy,

He's from Texas. It's 'them furners'.

Well, now I know why Cindy ... (Below threshold)

Well, now I know why Cindy Sheehan wanted to meet with me. Damn, she gives lousy head, but at least she fits under my desk and stays quiet.

Awe cripes, how do I tell... (Below threshold)
mark m:

Awe cripes, how do I tell Condi i've gotta take a growler?.

12,343,335,467,761 IS a pri... (Below threshold)
jack:

12,343,335,467,761 IS a prime number! Wait, lemmee see, nine goes into..carry the two...crap, it isn't a prime number.

Now, if seven people going to town met three people comimg from town....

A-H-M-E-D-I-N...oh, whateve... (Below threshold)

A-H-M-E-D-I-N...oh, whatever. This Iranian guy with no necktie is history.

Share nukes with other craz... (Below threshold)

Share nukes with other crazies?

I just sharted.

I bet I could kick that guy... (Below threshold)
Jeff from Portland:

I bet I could kick that guy's ass

"Oops I Crapped My Pants" <... (Below threshold)
Cheryl:
(thinking) Don't think abou... (Below threshold)

(thinking) Don't think about the pen. Just keep it right there in that other hand. Don't write a thing, who knows what they'll have you writing next. Don't think about writing, don't move the pen. That's it, keep the writing hand busy, grabbing at the face to keep from screaming, "Bombing Israel into dust is NOT on the agenda, fellas, so drop it!" That's it, no notes, keep the pen clutched in the off hand. Easy does it...not writin' nuthin' am I, Reuters?! Hey, if I tune out these bozos I can hear Bolton...is he on the phone? What's he doing back there? Darn it, did they just say "Bomb Israel" again? Should I say something or just keep up the stance that they're irrelevant? Heck, Bolton's on the phone, he's doing the irrelevant thing. Maybe I'll just write him a note and see what he thinks... No! No notes! Why did I even bring a pen?

"Go ahead - blame me - ever... (Below threshold)

"Go ahead - blame me - everyone else does."

Bolton readies his uzi as t... (Below threshold)

Bolton readies his uzi as the president distracts U.N. members...

President Bush listens to a... (Below threshold)

President Bush listens to a succession of "Bolton yelled at me" complaints from the U.N.

"Say 'ello to my leetle fri... (Below threshold)

"Say 'ello to my leetle frien!"

"Is Kofi even speaking Engl... (Below threshold)
kbiel:

"Is Kofi even speaking English? Hey, Kofi sounds like coffee. That reminds me, I need to piss like an Iraqi oil for food pipeline."

(Thought Bubble)...This is ... (Below threshold)
Moon Monkey:

(Thought Bubble)...This is sooo boring. I just know that Bolton isn't listening to this crap...speaking of crap, I have to take a Kennedy dump sooo bad!

<a href="http://randomnumbe... (Below threshold)
"Maybe if Condi would wear ... (Below threshold)
kbiel:

"Maybe if Condi would wear that cool leather coat and boots again, we can convince these idiots that they live in the Matrix. That would be awesome! Then I could pretend to be Neo, Condi can be Trinity, and John* can be the red pill that we'll shove down their throats. Now who can be Agent Smith? Osama? Kim Jong-Il?..."

*John Bolton

Damn I wish Franklin Roosev... (Below threshold)
stan25:

Damn I wish Franklin Roosevelt wouldn’t have dreamed up this stupid insitution called the Unholy Nations. Then I could spend my time chasing Laura around the Oval Office.

Why the hell am I here list... (Below threshold)
stan25:

Why the hell am I here listening to a bunch of idiots drone on about global warming, when I can be at Crawford clearing brush instead?

Dang, I think Akhbar just c... (Below threshold)

Dang, I think Akhbar just cut another one. Can't Bolton bite his head off or something?

(thought bubble) "Damnit, K... (Below threshold)

(thought bubble) "Damnit, Kofi, the superglue joke is getting old! Now I can't get my hand off my face!"

Ho Hum another boring day a... (Below threshold)
stan25:

Ho Hum another boring day at the Unholy Nations.

Is it my penmanship, or is ... (Below threshold)

Is it my penmanship, or is Condi just ignoring me?

Bush daydreams about Bolton... (Below threshold)

Bush daydreams about Bolton telling Annan: "You shore got a purty mouth . . . "

-or-

(looking at sign) "I wish they could do stuff in English. What in the hell does "SETATS DETINU" mean?"

"Psssst! Bolton! Is your th... (Below threshold)
DWC:

"Psssst! Bolton! Is your thermos empty? Ok, quick slip it to me under the chair. Never mind why, dammit, I'm the President, just do it!"

Geez - Condi could have jus... (Below threshold)
rylo:

Geez - Condi could have just told me to hold it. "Sit your white chimpy ass down" is a bit harsh.

The nation is in a period o... (Below threshold)
brainy435:

The nation is in a period of mourning following the unexpected death of President Bush. Apparently bored to tears during a recent U.N meeting, he made the fatal mistake of trying a Vulcan mind meld on himself...

Will "UNITED STATES"... (Below threshold)


Will "UNITED STATES" score as double-word? Is it my turn? God I love Scrabble.


Chris
http://amateureconblog.blogspot.com/

"I've got 'em by the balls ... (Below threshold)

"I've got 'em by the balls and they know it - now it's time to squeeze."

Thought bubble coming out o... (Below threshold)

Thought bubble coming out of Bush's head:

"I'm soooooo looking forward to the weekend...after my speech down in N'Oreleans...N'Orleans...all that flood water...Heck, I really gotta go now!"

Dam, I knew I should have h... (Below threshold)
Sheila:

Dam, I knew I should have had more BOTOX!

Dam, I knew I should have h... (Below threshold)
Sheila:

Dam, I knew I should have had more BOTOX!

I like chicken, I like live... (Below threshold)
Cooter:

I like chicken, I like liver, Meow-Mix, Meow-Mix please deliver. . . .

"If DeVillipan doesn't shut... (Below threshold)

"If DeVillipan doesn't shut his pie hole, I'm gonna remind him of the 15,000 they allowed to die in the French heat wave"

" I wonder if I should swit... (Below threshold)
jerseychris:

" I wonder if I should switch to an overlapping grip?"

Where's Bolton when I need ... (Below threshold)
JP:

Where's Bolton when I need him?

"37...38...39...40. Okay, ... (Below threshold)

"37...38...39...40. Okay, that's counting head shots with hardball. I guess I'll go to hollowpoints next. One...two...three..."

Every time I come here all ... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Every time I come here all I can think is "What a bunch of fucking morons."

Thought Bubble: Damn, there... (Below threshold)
PTG:

Thought Bubble: Damn, there's alot of foreigners here. Good thing I put my wallet in my jacket pocket this morning.

1) I'm the most powerful ma... (Below threshold)

1) I'm the most powerful man in the entire world but I have to get permission to go pee. What the heck is that about?

2) Wow, for a moment there, Kofi sounded like Teddy K., trying to explain why he wasn't guilty of drowning Mary Jo, who couldn't be reached for comment.

3) Humming to himself - head like a hole, black as your soul, I'd rather die, than give you control. Bown down before the one you serve, you're gonna get what you deserve.

3a) Rove offscreen - will you give me back my IPod?! That's my favorite song.

4) Now I know what Paul goes through when he runs those weekend caption contests and is surrounded by jokers to the left, and clowns to the right.

These Depends work real goo... (Below threshold)

These Depends work real good.

"We gotta get out of this p... (Below threshold)
SSG Pooh:

"We gotta get out of this place.

If it's the last thing we ever do."

1) "Hmmm. I wonder if Hom... (Below threshold)

1) "Hmmm. I wonder if Homestarrunner will be updated by the time I get home."

and this one's a bit of stretch, but it's what *I* would've thought if it was me there at the general assembly...

2) Then, with that faint, fleeting smile playing about his lips, he faced the firing squad; erect and motionless, proud and disdainful, George W. Bush the Undefeated, inscrutable to the last.

There's not one nation in t... (Below threshold)
Jordan:

There's not one nation in this damn room thats worth listening to....

Thought bubble: This is ju... (Below threshold)

Thought bubble: This is just as entertaining without the earpiece. "Ooga balooga gochowa nalloo." "Motanga gewuu-i Hitler hu-i doonga!" Whawuzzat?

President Bush waits for U.... (Below threshold)
solilsolate:

President Bush waits for U.N. Ambassador Boulton to distract photographers by making devil horns behind his head, before scribbling a hasty note to National Security advisor Rice.

Man, where's a toilet? I go... (Below threshold)

Man, where's a toilet? I gotta do a Kofi.

Jeez, this UN crowd makes B... (Below threshold)

Jeez, this UN crowd makes Blanco look like frickin' Patton.

All these terrorists, and I... (Below threshold)
Archangel:

All these terrorists, and I'm not allowed to kill any of them. Yet. *sigh*

"Doh!"... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Doh!"

(Musing to himself)B... (Below threshold)
Moon Monkey:

(Musing to himself)
Blah, Fuckin, Blah, De Blah, Blah...I'm still King!

Boy, I'd sure like to see t... (Below threshold)
DWC:

Boy, I'd sure like to see these bastards locked up in the Superdome without food and water for a few days.

next to whoopi in the cente... (Below threshold)

next to whoopi in the center square we have president Bush.

This place reminds me of th... (Below threshold)

This place reminds me of the circus, damn I miss the circus.

I knew I shouldn't have lic... (Below threshold)

I knew I shouldn't have licked that toad that Diane Feinstein was talking about.

"Awww man. They made me sit... (Below threshold)
Hodink:

"Awww man. They made me sit behind the sign for the most distrusted and hated country. I'm better than that. Where's that Bozo Kerry?"

How much money are we sendi... (Below threshold)
Alex:

How much money are we sending to these boring blowhards, again?

God, I really, REALLY hate ... (Below threshold)
jumbo:

God, I really, REALLY hate these guys....

sigh...three years, five mo... (Below threshold)

sigh...three years, five months, seven days and I can go back to the ranch for good and NEVER have to listen to any of these whiny-ass bitches ever agin.

I wonder if I can hide unde... (Below threshold)
kbiel:

I wonder if I can hide under Bolton's mustache if things start going bad here.

Geez Loueeze! And I though... (Below threshold)
OC Chuck:

Geez Loueeze! And I thought meetings with the Senate Leadership were bad!

Now I know how Arnold feels... (Below threshold)
OC Chuck:

Now I know how Arnold feels listening to the California Legislature!

How come I feel like a fore... (Below threshold)
OC Chuck:

How come I feel like a foreigner in my own country?

There should be some extra ... (Below threshold)
OC Chuck:

There should be some extra room in the Gaza strip by now, I wonder how long it would take to build some new UN buildings there?

Here I am doing my best "ri... (Below threshold)
Jim:

Here I am doing my best "riveted" look and these U.N. wienies just keep going on and on and on and on.........

Now what the hell did that ... (Below threshold)
stan25:

Now what the hell did that Wizbang outfit do with that sheep photo from a month ago. Need to count them to relieve the boredom.

I called my Urologist to ma... (Below threshold)
Deaner59:

I called my Urologist to make an appointment and the receptionist answered and asked me if I could hold. I said "No! That's why I'm calling!"

"If he doesn't stop talking... (Below threshold)
Master Shake:

"If he doesn't stop talking, I'm moving his country above Syria and Iran on my list."

Good thing no one saw that ... (Below threshold)

Good thing no one saw that note about a PARTY break!

I need a shower, a nice hot... (Below threshold)
Nan:

I need a shower, a nice hot shower. Lots of soap. Maybe a Brillo pad. Burn the suit. Definitely burn the suit... God I hate this place.

"Hmm. What WOULD this UN b... (Below threshold)
Lloyd:

"Hmm. What WOULD this UN building look like without the top ten floors?"

"So this is what it's like ... (Below threshold)
oino sakai:

"So this is what it's like listening to the Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee...."

"We budget $40 billion a ye... (Below threshold)
Lucinda:

"We budget $40 billion a year for THIS?"

1,223 more days of this bul... (Below threshold)

1,223 more days of this bullshit and I'm back in Crawford.

In a high stakes game of se... (Below threshold)
solilsolate:

In a high stakes game of secret communications at the U.N., President Bush is caught signaling U.N. Ambassador Bolton with a "hand to right cheek" gesture. Bolton can be seen initiating a "devil horns" gesture. While photographers were distracted, Bush scribbled a note and passed it to Sec. of State Rice before it could be photographed for worldwide distribution.

Click here for a gallery of devil horns photographs__.

I SEE YOUR MOUTH MOVING BU... (Below threshold)
Todd:

I SEE YOUR MOUTH MOVING BUT ALL I HEAR IS BLAH, BLAH, BLAH....

"Now, if I slide my pinky o... (Below threshold)

"Now, if I slide my pinky over just a little while nobody's looking, I can get that hanging snot ball Condi warned me about and flick it at Kofi."

"Well, I know nothing about... (Below threshold)
itismedavid:

"Well, I know nothing about global warming, but Kyoto was SOOOO yesterday!. Go ahead and blame me for it though, according to the MSM I do have power over the earth's atmosphere!"

*SNORT* *BLINK* "Where am I... (Below threshold)

*SNORT* *BLINK* "Where am I? And why am I sitting next to WIlford Brimley?"

"It was bad enough when the... (Below threshold)

"It was bad enough when they were just speechifyin', but this 'Springtime for Kofi' dance number..."

"The medical examiner's rep... (Below threshold)

"The medical examiner's report said the President began bleeding from the ears and there was nothing anyone could do. Vice President Cheney will be sworn in as the 44th President at his secure, undisclosed location sometime in the next few minutes, and we'll be bringing that to you live..."

Where's an exit strategy wh... (Below threshold)

Where's an exit strategy when you need one?

"Dang, this is worse than a... (Below threshold)

"Dang, this is worse than a third meetin' with that Cindy Sheehan fella."

"OMG! Condi, I've gone piss... (Below threshold)
Brian:

"OMG! Condi, I've gone pissed my pants again!"

Hmm...Kofi...Kojo...who wor... (Below threshold)
JD:

Hmm...Kofi...Kojo...who works for Cotecna, which starts with a "C" but sounds like a "K"...ditto Condi and Colin....how does Bolton keep this crap straight?

That's my best 'John Bolton... (Below threshold)
Gray:

That's my best 'John Bolton' expression.
I wonder how this is looking on TV?

dah... (Below threshold)
tom:

dah

...that fucking chavez went... (Below threshold)
kingweasil:

...that fucking chavez went over his five minutes...

Oh this is just painful, Ho... (Below threshold)
ihatethe UN:

Oh this is just painful, How I wish I was back on vacation strumming guitars and eating cake with my boy McCainie like I was 2 days after Hurricane Katrina hit.

Kerry said he would never a... (Below threshold)

Kerry said he would never ask for a permission slip from the United Nations, big deal! If he had six cups of coffee, I bet he wouldn’t go over to the Cambodian delegation for a little urination incursion either.

If Sister Mary Joseph doesn... (Below threshold)
bill:

If Sister Mary Joseph doesn't call on me I promise not to jerk off for a whole month.

"Hm, Ah wonder if that Vulc... (Below threshold)

"Hm, Ah wonder if that Vulcan mind meld thing works on yo'seff if yuh got no mind"...

Dang, I forgot to buy me a ... (Below threshold)

Dang, I forgot to buy me a box turtle so me & Laura could have a threesome tonight. Maybe we can use our dog Barney instead. Or some of the ducks from our pond. Wait, doesn't our neighbor have some mules he's not using? Dang, having sex with Laura is hard work!

The President looks unsettl... (Below threshold)

The President looks unsettled as he realizes that he's completely surrounded by "enemy combatants"...

Dang, having sex with La... (Below threshold)

Dang, having sex with Laura is hard work!

Posted by: Pope Bandar bin Turtle

" 'Specially when she keeps turnin' ta Lynne Cheney ta finish whut Ah started!"

Dang, having sex with La... (Below threshold)

Dang, having sex with Laura is hard work!

Posted by: Pope Bandar bin Turtle

" 'Specially when she keeps turnin' ta Lynne Cheney ta finish whut Ah started!"

Kerry said he would neve... (Below threshold)

Kerry said he would never ask for a permission slip from the United Nations, big deal! If he had six snorts of cocaine, I bet he wouldn’t go over to the Cambodian delegation for a little urination incursion either.

Posted by: MadMustard

Post fixed courtesy Actor212 Enterprises

Bush doesn't care much for ... (Below threshold)

Bush doesn't care much for Kofi's plan to put the rebuilding of New Orleans under UN control. They're calling it "Oil for Slums".

Bush doesn't care much f... (Below threshold)

Bush doesn't care much for Kofi's plan to put the rebuilding of New Orleans under UN control. They're calling it "Oil for Slums".

Posted by: fustian

Halliburton will still get the lion's share of the kickbacks...

Oh gee whiz. I just know t... (Below threshold)
steve:

Oh gee whiz. I just know there'll be a geography quiz after this.

" 'Specially when she ke... (Below threshold)

" 'Specially when she keeps turnin' ta Lynne Cheney ta finish whut Ah started!"

And if that doesn't work, we can bring in our daughters Jenna & Barbara so them & me can act out that great Old Testament (and therefore not in the least bit immoral, unlike having sex with box turtles) Bible story of Noah's daughters who got him drunk & jerked him off.

Actor212:Certainly... (Below threshold)

Actor212:

Certainly anything to do with oil field or refinery repair, since it is either them or Schlumberger. I'm sure you're not advocating sending all those jobs overseas to France and away from American workers?

They keep saying that it's ... (Below threshold)
a:

They keep saying that it's OK that all this UN stuff is over my head, but, I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have been the president,
maybe,
Maybe I'm not cut out for this,
oh shoot, what am I saying?, in a couple hours this'll all be over and I can do the fun stuff with my pals again...,
...
...now if only I could last through this, ...it's so boring..., oh look, a fly!

"Why cain't these folks tal... (Below threshold)
nicky:

"Why cain't these folks talk Amurikan?"

Bolton (Seated behind Bush)... (Below threshold)
Thom:

Bolton (Seated behind Bush): "Phewww! What is that smell?

1) Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm... ra... (Below threshold)
fishguy:

1) Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm... raindrops keep fallin' on my bed... but that duzzen mean that lies'll soon be in my head... tryin's not for me...oh I'm never gonna stop to claim I'm pertainin'... becuz I'm free. Nothin's worryin' me.

2) How much longer do I have to sit here to prove that I do care about black people?

3) Let go and let God.

1) Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm... ra... (Below threshold)
fishguy:

1) Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm... raindrops keep fallin' on my bed... but that duzzen mean that lies'll soon be in my head... tryin's not for me...oh I'm never gonna stop to claim I'm pertainin'... becuz I'm free. Nothin's worryin' me.

2) How much longer do I have to sit here to prove that I do care about some black people?

3) Let go and let God.

Free 50 million people from... (Below threshold)
Greg:

Free 50 million people from tyranny, rescue thousands after the tsunami, donate billions to Africa, try to keep the lunatics from going nuclear, and not only don't they thank us, they literally steal money from the poor and then criticize me. Nice.

1) Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm...... (Below threshold)

1) Mmmm...mmmm...mmmm... raindrops keep fallin' on my bed... but that duzzen mean that lies'll soon be in my head... tryin's not for me...oh I'm never gonna stop to claim I'm pertainin'... becuz I'm free. Nothin's worryin' me.

Excellent, fishguy! You get my vote, which, of course, doesn't count for anything!

How long do I have to prete... (Below threshold)
Rich:

How long do I have to pretend about being president, before I can cash in and get rich like all my cronies.

Karl, err, I mean Turd Blossum, cut my vacation short and now I haven't been able to take any R%R at my fake ranch for more than two weeks,

Damn, Condi, what's takin' ... (Below threshold)
tsynnott:

Damn, Condi, what's takin' Cheney so long with that hall pass?

BLANK....BLANK....BLANK....... (Below threshold)
LaloCeli:

BLANK....BLANK....BLANK.....BLANK....BLANK...................

"...If it follows that a n... (Below threshold)
jitter:

"...If it follows that a natural object is associated also with a straight line, then Three points A, B and C on a rigid body thus lie in a straight line when, the points A and C being given, B is chosen such that the sum of the distances AB and BC is as short as possible... Damn I gotta pee!"

It's hard to do the pee dan... (Below threshold)
Fred Ranger:

It's hard to do the pee dance sitting down.

Damn I wish that I had that... (Below threshold)
stan25:

Damn I wish that I had that dynamite that Calypso Louie claimed that I used to blow up that levee down there in New Orleans. I would definitly blow up this hideous place.

Maybe I will cut the fundin... (Below threshold)
stan25:

Maybe I will cut the funding of this useless outfit to help pay for Hurricane Katrina cleanup.

Dang, he used another big w... (Below threshold)
Nonymus:

Dang, he used another big word.

At the International World ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

At the International World Leader Spelling Bee, President Bush is immediately stumped, as he tries to sound out his first word -- NUCLEAR.

I should have kept doing co... (Below threshold)
Jack Schidt:

I should have kept doing coke.

This Kofi guy sure can go o... (Below threshold)
Nicholas:

This Kofi guy sure can go on, annan, annan...

Nuts. I thought TODAY was '... (Below threshold)

Nuts. I thought TODAY was 'Talk Like a Pirate Day'.

I miss Jeff Gannon.... (Below threshold)
big daddy:

I miss Jeff Gannon.

Actor212:Ce... (Below threshold)

Actor212:

Certainly anything to do with oil field or refinery repair, since it is either them or Schlumberger. I'm sure you're not advocating sending all those jobs overseas to France and away from American workers?

Posted by: fustian

Errrrrrrrr, Schlumberger is an American company, so is Bechtel.

Dang, I know my head is gon... (Below threshold)
willowy1:

Dang, I know my head is gonna fall right off from boredome if I dare move my hand. Hmmm, if I kinda just slip this pinky over and mine that goober I wonder if anyone will notice? It's times like this that I wish that John Kerry won the last election, he deserves this fate worse than losing. 1,000 bottles of beer on Annan, thousand bottles of beer...

I must've had me about 16 D... (Below threshold)
itismedavid:

I must've had me about 16 Dr. Peppers. As soon as Kofi comes to shake my hand I'm gonna tell him: "I have to pee!"

Actor212:I apologi... (Below threshold)

Actor212:

I apologize. I am shocked to find that you are mostly right.

Although, their origins are French:
1920 Opened first office at 30, rue Fabert in Paris.
1926 Formed Société de Prospection Electrique, the pre-cursor of Schlumberger.
1956 Formed Schlumberger Limited in Curaçao as holding company for all Schlumberger businesses.

And they had their first non-French CEO in 1986. A Scot.

"I don't understand a word ... (Below threshold)
Ben:

"I don't understand a word of what is being said."

Fustian,Schlumberg... (Below threshold)

Fustian,

Schlumberger also is one of three companies who can mass the resources for this, which number includes Bechtel.

Did you check them out?

Actor212:I did tak... (Below threshold)

Actor212:

I did take a quick look at Bechtel. I knew them to be an engineering firm that takes on large projects. As near as I can tell, they are not in the oilfield services business like Halliburton or Schlumberger, although they have built at least one petrochemical complex in the Middle East. I would imagine the engineering part of Bectel competes with the Brown and Root part of Halliburton, but I'm not aware of a large engineering division of Schlumberger.

I have had occasion to deal with Schlumberger in a professional capacity and as most of the people I dealt with were Europeans and the center of activity for the part I dealt with were also in Europe, I mistakenly believed it to be a European company.

But as a lefty, I cannot imagine that you'll be any more pleased that Bechtel might get a few large Katrina contracts. Or is Halliburton at the top of the corporate fat cat hierarchy?

Man, It's hard enough to un... (Below threshold)
Willie Neebo:

Man, It's hard enough to understand what the hell's going on here without having to hold my water. All I can think about is having to go pee-pee. I hope nobody notices my piss hard-on when Condi says I can go to the little boy's room!

Damn, I knew I shouldn't ha... (Below threshold)

Damn, I knew I shouldn't have drunk all that Past this morning.

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced (click the link to read the winning entries). Comments are now closed.




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