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Katrina Brings Out the Double Moonbats

Before reading this story, I thought the global warming crowd was the most wacky group stirred up by Katrina's winds.... It just goes to show, never underestimate the moonbats.

Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina

by Mark Townsend Houston
The Observer

It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Experts [EXPERTS? Why do they always mention "experts" in every moonbat story? Who are these "experts?"-ED] who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the US defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

[Expert Alert] Leo Sheridan, 72, a respected accident investigator who has worked for government and industry, said he had received intelligence from sources close to the US government's marine fisheries service confirming dolphins had escaped.

OH so here is the expert... Some old fart who "has worked for government and industry." Well... Who needs more qualifications that THAT??? I mean, this guy has worked for both government AND industry, he must be some sort of expert on mythological six-gun toting aquatic mammals right?

And let me do some translation for you: "he had received intelligence from sources close to the US government's marine fisheries service "

Translation: He read what some other tin-foil hat wearing goof-ball wrote on the internet and called the newspaper. (Who ran the story!)

'My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'

OH the old, "Highly trained marine mammals with tranquilizer dart guns" trick... The worst kind of marine mammal to be sure.

But it is in the The Observer so it must be true... Right?


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» Jon Marler linked with Sharks with frickin laser beams ... or not

Comments (28)

Methinks that someone has c... (Below threshold)
capt joe:

Methinks that someone has confused a Austin Powers plotline. Hint: "sharks with freaking laser beams in their heds"

But I thought Dolphins were... (Below threshold)
taz:

But I thought Dolphins were smart enough not to shoot the good guys.

Darn, someone beat me to th... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Darn, someone beat me to the punch line. I was gonna post:

"Dart guns!!! I thought we paid for frickin' laser beams on their heads!"

Is the Oberver England's eq... (Below threshold)
jpm100:

Is the Oberver England's equivalent to the National Enquirer?

Flipper armed dangerous and... (Below threshold)
spurwing plover:

Flipper armed dangerous and out to sink GREENPEACE zodiacs becuase GREENPEACE are such a bunch of jerks

I don't think I have heard ... (Below threshold)
Steve Crickmore:

I don't think I have heard Forbes and Science Magazine described as a whacky (sic) group before. But then 350 years after Galileo was caused a labelled a crazy "heretic" by the Pope Paul V, the Catholic Church has recently conceded that the earth rotates around the sun.

If it were true then there ... (Below threshold)
mesablue:

If it were true then there is at least the slight possibility that some some PETA goofball could get shot by a killer dolphin.

That would be funny.

Send in the tuna trawlers a... (Below threshold)

Send in the tuna trawlers and this crisis will be solved in no time at all. "Operation Starkist" is our only hope!

>I don't think I have heard... (Below threshold)
Paul:

>I don't think I have heard Forbes and Science Magazine described as a whacky (sic) group before.

Forbes did not write the whackjob study, they reported on it... Please learn the difference.

Steve, did you actually ... (Below threshold)

Steve, did you actually read the article to which you linked, or did you just google until you found a "reputable" source for your point?

The article is a fairly even-handed view of the situation, giving good airtime to both those who say global warming is causing an increase in frequency and potency of hurricanes, and those who disagree with those conclusions.

What you have with the global warming arguments is a handful of people who have a solid presupposition and are looking for data supporting that foregone conclusion. That's not sound science.

If you're convinced that hurricanes are growing more numerous or powerful, do your own research. The NHC has a very good archive of all past storms, and you can glean a whole lot of information through those records--and see what information is simply not available for older storms and storm seasons. Here is a good place to start--a chart detailing U. S. Hurricane strikes by decade from 1851-2004.

Of course, real data is horribly boring. It's a lot more fun to read the sensational headlines and regurgitate doomsday predictions all over the internet.

These are obviously conserv... (Below threshold)
Lew Clark:

These are obviously conservative dolphins since liberal dolphins would have already escaped their pens to join Mama Cindy on the peace and love tour.

So this answers a lot of questions. The liberal local officials were unable to do their jobs because they were getting nailed by conservative, armed and dangerous, dolphins.

How many tricks does Karl Rove have in that bag?

Points takens, in prevous p... (Below threshold)
Steve Crickmore:

Points takens, in prevous posts by Paul and BoDiddly, but Forbes even in reprinting the balanced article (tacitly agreeed with it, presumably,) along with providing a link to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration for our edification. I think the weight of scientific evidence is definitely changing. The melting of the Arctic Ice cap being the most significant development. I think to call more than 80% of the scientific community, "moonbats" is similar to what the Catholic Church called Galileo.

Mesablue, that would be oh-... (Below threshold)

Mesablue, that would be oh-so worth however much money the US gov't. decided to dump into such a project.

Bullwinkle, be very glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read your comment.

It sounds like someone got ... (Below threshold)
Cousin Dave:

It sounds like someone got hold of a legitimate story and twisted it, telephone-style, all out of recognition. There were some dolphins who were let out to sea by a Gulfport aquarium prior to the hurricane, for their own safety. These dolphins were in fact highly trained... to balance beach balls on their noses. (The aquarium staff has since been working on trying to recover the dolphins, and last I heard, they had succeeded in locating two of them.) Now, we all know how threatened libs feel when they encounter beach balls, but come on...

What is the big concern? Do... (Below threshold)
DL:

What is the big concern? Dolphins don't shoot people. Guns shoot people! Require all dolphins to register their guns or facimiles thereof and wait for them to come in to get flipperprinted, and nab them! It works with humans, doesn't it?

The other thing that works with humans is, we could offer to buy all guns from the dolphins ...say for a box of kippered herring or mackeral!

Failing that, make sure we stop those marine enterainment places like Marineland from allowing Dolphins to jump through loops. We have to stop the dolphin (gun show) loopholes don't we.

This is really the fault of the NRA (also Bush) for opening an associate membership for dolphins.

Lastly, you'll notice that the concern is only for southern dolphins (no worry Nova Scotia)and wouldn't you just know it cause those redneck dolphins love their weapons!

We also need to be concerned more than ever as to getting a liberal Supreme Court, because if arch-conservatives like Roberts ever gets on the court, the 2cd. amendment will apply to Dolphins also as the PETA sponsered Biodiversity amendmendment to the Constitution says quite clearly, all living things are equal in value.

Safety: this is the real concern as everyone who has ever fired a weapon knows. When you shoot near water, prepare for a ricochet!

There is no truth to the story that the dolphins in question made a break for it right after the Marineland showing of "Free Willy"

And even IF there were guar... (Below threshold)
Mark:

And even IF there were guard-trained dophins that DID get out of their area during the storm, the idiots apparently think the handlers would have any surveillance gear/weapons on the critters while they're swimming around in their living area.

Kind of crap that comes from people who don't actually know crap about weapons.

cuz Dave: they rescued the... (Below threshold)
epador:

cuz Dave: they rescued them all

The dolphins of this post, however, are different. I strongly doubt thy were armed at the time they "allegedly" escaped, and there is no evidence to suggest they were.

One would expect that the harness required would be fitted before a mission and removed afterwards.

So more "Sheehanism" [ oooooo a new verb: to be Sheehanded] with the "expert" and the media that reported him.

So more "Sheehanism" [ oooo... (Below threshold)
DL:

So more "Sheehanism" [ oooooo a new verb: to be Sheehanded]
Posted by: epador at September 26, 2005 11:22 AM

Love the word - help me out though, is it a verb or noun as in communism?

Steve, "80% of the scientif... (Below threshold)
Paul:

Steve, "80% of the scientific community" believes that the 2 hurricanes we just had were caused by global warming?

Can you give me a link for that?

RE: DL's post (September 26... (Below threshold)
AnonymousDrivel:

RE: DL's post (September 26, 2005 11:08 AM)
What is the big concern? Dolphins don't shoot people. Guns shoot people!... [more, funny commentary snipped - ed]

Heh.

I understand that some insecure herring and mackeral proposed such projectile control legislation, but the dolphins just flipped 'em off. The dolphins told 'em they were ignorant and needed to go back to school.

The National Hurricance Cen... (Below threshold)
Steve L.:

The National Hurricance Center (they might just know a thing or two) has two pieces that support what BoDiddly said about global warming and hurricanes:

http://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd/tcfaq/G3.html

http://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd/tcfaq/G4.html

The money quote:

As discussed in the previous section, it is highly unlikely that global warming has (or will) contribute to a drastic change in the number or intensity of hurricanes. We have not observed a long-term increase in the intensity or frequency of Atlantic hurricanes.

Here's a site devoted to gl... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:

Here's a site devoted to global warming, but with the position that if it is occurring it's not caused by increasing levels of atmospheric CO2, but rather is just part of a nature cycle that has occurred repeatedly in the past few thousand years.

CO2 Science

Here's the money quote: "There is little doubt the air's CO2 concentration has risen significantly since the inception of the Industrial Revolution; and there are few who do not attribute the CO2 increase to the increase in humanity's use of fossil fuels. There is also little doubt the earth has warmed slightly over the same period; but there is no compelling reason to believe that the rise in temperature was caused by the rise in CO2. Furthermore, it is highly unlikely that future increases in the air's CO2 content will produce any global warming; for there are numerous problems with the popular hypothesis that links the two phenomena."

I AM AN EXPERT IN THIS FIEL... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

I AM AN EXPERT IN THIS FIELD!

I can unequivocally state the following:

These dolphins are highly trained, weapons of mass destruction. Humans should approach with extreme caution.

I STAYED AT A HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS LAST NIGHT!

Hmmmm.1. "But then... (Below threshold)
ed:

Hmmmm.

1. "But then 350 years after Galileo was caused a labelled a crazy "heretic" by the Pope Paul V, the Catholic Church has recently conceded that the earth rotates around the sun."

It was heresy because the Pope had made a ruling on the matter and Galileo had made statements to the contrary. The point behind heresy is that a Catholic cannot go against the Church's established doctrine, not that the Pope was right.

2. "The melting of the Arctic Ice cap being the most significant development."

Not to mention the **growing** of the Antartic Ice Cap.

3. "I think to call more than 80% of the scientific community, "moonbats" is similar to what the Catholic Church called Galileo."

What? Like "Mr. Galilei"?

And that number "80%" is just complete rubbish and totally unsupportable. Do yourself a favor and never again engage in such nonsense.

4. CO2.
Frankly people tend to underestimate the effects of volcanoes with respect to generating CO2. A single erupting volcano can output a tremendous amount of greenhouse gasses.

5. The over-reliance on CO2 statistics also ignores the myriad other factors that simply are not measurable by any reasonable standard. People tend to rely on CO2 measurements because it's the only thing that might support their viewpoint and because it doesn't take much of an argument to propose it.

6. The people screaming about Global Warming now were the same people screaming about an incipient Ice Age 20 years ago. Only back then they were talking about mile high glaciers slowly crushing Manhattan rather than a NYC drowned in a rising sea.

Same shit, different flavor.

or

Research scientists need Porsches too dammit!

7. What I find most amusing about Global Warming is the idea that the global weather patterns will be drastically changed by bovine flatulence. I.e. farts.

The idea being that us wicked wicked people are eating far too much red meat, which consumes far too much grain which generates far too much methane. Now the ostensible purpose is to reduce Global Warming by reducing cow farts, but really we're not children here. The reasoning is to promote the whole Green-Sierra Club eat tofu bullshit.

It is bullshit, no pun intended, because otherwise the tens of millions of bison, antelope, caribou, deer and other such critters should have collectively farted the Earth into a sand draped roasted hell a long time ago.

Unless of course Buffalo don't fart?

Which would make for an interesting t-shirt.

"...but there is no compell... (Below threshold)
DL:

"...but there is no compelling reason to believe that the rise in temperature was caused by the rise in CO2"

Exactly the point. Elementary Schools teach young children to recognize the difference between fact and opinion. They also discuss sequence v. cause in basic reading. It is sad that politics and thats's what it is, has perverted science and its practitioners, to ignore its own methodology, for political or monetary ends.

If I want to hear about the Gobi desert flooding I can read Nostrodamus!

I think the weapons experts... (Below threshold)
Bob:

I think the weapons experts were the same one's that advised Bush of WMDs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Galileo"The pop... (Below threshold)
DL:

On Galileo

"The pope had made a ruling..."

You are misunderstanding the situation perhaps, if you think that he spoke with infallibility. A judicial tribunal rule is not infallible. Also many scientists agreed with the position of the Church at that time. Furthermore, Galileo was wrong about the sun being the center of the universe and static. It's as we know, moving and only the center of the solar system. Technically, the Church would have been in error if it had ruled that he was correct.

You know, the doomsday-fore... (Below threshold)

You know, the doomsday-forecasters would have a lot easier time if it weren't for those damned facts that keep cropping up.




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