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Levelling the playing field

In Maryland, a black man is running for governor as a Republican. Naturally, this has a lot of leftists in an uproar, who are taking such racially-sensitive tactics as calling him an "Uncle Tom,' Photoshopping him into a blackfaced minstrel, and throwing Oreos at him at campaign rallies.

A lot of people are outraged over the way Mr. Steele is being treated, but I think there's a better angle we can take from this. Throwing symbolic foods is now being endorsed as a legitimate tactic, so let's sieze the moment and run with it.

So, let's think about what kinds of foods would make appropriate projectiles against certain leftist groups.

* For a Greenpeace rally, throw watermelons at them. Or watermelon-flavored candies, if you don't want to risk hurting them.

* At a gay rights rally, I recommend Twinkies or fresh fruit.

* When NOW or NARRAL gathers, bring melons. Preferably bitter ones.

* For moveon.org, who are still bitter about the Clinton impeachment, lemons.

* If Michael Moore shows up, pork products.

* If the unthinkable happens and Democratic Underground sponsors an event, mixed nuts are mandated.

The precedent has been established. The genie's out of the bottle. It's time to run with it.

Any suggestions of your own for other groups and corresponding foodstuffs? Toss 'em in the comments.


TrackBack

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Levelling the playing field:

» basil's blog linked with Breakfast: 11/3/2005

» Uncle Sam's Cabin linked with Speaking of Oreos

» Grapevine's Ramblings linked with Throwing Down the Gauntlet

» reverse_vampyr linked with Dems give racism a big o-tay!

Comments (39)

I heard about this man's ca... (Below threshold)
-S-:

I heard about this man's campaign (and personal experiences along the way) last evening on FOX.

As with Bill Cosby and others, people talking sense to nonsense are being...you know what, they're being "tarred and feathered" as to character and reputation by the very people who say they find "vigilanteism" offensive! Throwing food, taunting, ridiculing...Bill Cosby cannot even deliver a speech what with all the noise that goes on. This guy's experience seems similar and for the same reasons (he's talking sense, at least, speaking as to what's on his mind).

Food items...I don't know, but I think the better suggestion would be to not show up, not at all, when/if any of those make an appearance. Unfortunately, they pilfer the internet and the hacker response is not a good one, so...telling the truth, making one's own testimony, it's still the only, best way. I wouldn't waste a dollar of my grocery budget on any of them, that (alternative) list.

Could you imagine, say, Dav... (Below threshold)

Could you imagine, say, David Duke making those sorts of statements and waving it away with "I'm just stating the obvious"? Just imagine the (figurative & possibly literal) firestorm that would result. Hell, the not-so-former kluxxer should run as a Donk next time around. He'll fit right in. He & Byrd would get along like gangbusters.

You could throw sodium hydr... (Below threshold)

You could throw sodium hydroxide at any gathering of liberals, but they'd probably never even notice the extra lye.

I like this; the Libs have ... (Below threshold)
JEW:

I like this; the Libs have started a whole new way of political expression.

However when I think of N.O.W. or NARRAL I cannot help but thinking of a face screwed up by a lemon, which I think, is a better choice for them.

That leaves me with nothing to throw at Moveon.org. Hmmm, maybe grapefruit would be a better choice, it is bitterer than lemon, and the size of a softball. And I could get my spring training in early!

As a former NY'er living fo... (Below threshold)

As a former NY'er living for the past five years in Maryland, my husband and I are doing everything we can to support Lt. Governor Steele's campaign for the senate.

He's a good man, a man with morals, a man with a forward thinking vision. So far he's had his credit report publicized, been photoshopped, and has suffered catcalls and jeering from the left at his speeches. Through it all, he maintains his composure, and pushes on. He's a better man than I (even though I'm a woman).

My personal weapon for any leftist group operating in Maryland would be an Old Bay Super-Shooter; a watergun filled with a mixture of Old Bay Seasoning (we like it on our crabs) and Apple Cidar Vinegar (we like it on Thrasher's Fries when we're in Ocean City).

You'd be able to smell them from a mile away.

Since the New York Times is... (Below threshold)

Since the New York Times is the Liberal Mothership, why not throw (a) Punch in honor of Pinch's daddy.

We could definitely spray s... (Below threshold)
Jim:

We could definitely spray some Kool Aid at some of the Cindy Sheehan anti-war events.

Given Alec Baldwin's paunchiness, I don't think he'd be picky about what you threw at him, but make sure it is wrapped in tin foil so he can make a hat out of it after eating.

As for me, I am happy about the red meat the President threw at me when nominating Alito!

I saw Steele speak at the R... (Below threshold)
Frank H:

I saw Steele speak at the Republican Convention in 2004, and I actually thought he looked quite Presidential.

I think some entrepreneur s... (Below threshold)
Old Soldier:

I think some entrepreneur should start making donkey lollipops – you know candy asses for Democratic gatherings.

We must be very careful to ensure there is no salt on anything we throw at liberals; ever see what salt does to a slug?

I loved the Twinkies, Jay, I REALLY loved the Twinkies!!!

For NOW or NARARAL; how about chocolate covered cherries? Would that be sexist?

For MoveOn.org I think bouquets of bitter sweet would be appropriate or perhaps some pomegranate.

For the environazis I would suggest some mudskipper sushi or spotted owl livers wrapped in bacon.

I think lime Kool-Aid would be apropos for the Green Party.

Okay, I’ve done enough damage for one day…

I guess the Democratic part... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

I guess the Democratic party is like a roach motel...you can check in but you can't check out.

At ANY lefty rally, the per... (Below threshold)
sentinel:

At ANY lefty rally, the perfect thing to throw, although dangerous, is WINE!

Brie cheese.... (Below threshold)
joe:

Brie cheese.

For MADD, fifths of "Mad Do... (Below threshold)

For MADD, fifths of "Mad Dog" 20/20. They're not exactly moonbats, but they're definately over the top abolitionists these days.

For Greenpeace, tuna that's not certified dolphin-safe.

For the House members that didn't vote to exempt the internet from the FEC, a hangman's noose. Let's not be shy.

For Greenpeace: genuine wha... (Below threshold)
joe:

For Greenpeace: genuine whale meat from Norway or Japan.

Ubu Roi, I was gonna save t... (Below threshold)
Red Five:

Ubu Roi, I was gonna save the fish for the next lesbian rally, but there you go.

How about Pigs-ina- ... (Below threshold)
grimg:


How about Pigs-ina- blanket at Robert Byrd?

Ho- Ho at at Bill Clinton?

At all future Democratic co... (Below threshold)

At all future Democratic conventions, we need to throw granola, which is chock full of fruits, nuts, and flakes.

Small CORRECTION. I believ... (Below threshold)
Don:

Small CORRECTION. I believe it is "Senator", not "Governor", but your point is well taken.

Lt. Gov. Michael Steele is a wonderful man and deserves to win next year and become the new Senator from Maryland.

http://michellemalkin.com/archives/003823.htm

Yeah, I'd love to see Senat... (Below threshold)
AR:

Yeah, I'd love to see Senator McCain pelted with hotdogs.

NOW....definitely dried pru... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

NOW....definitely dried prunes.

Does tossing live rabbits a... (Below threshold)
jc:

Does tossing live rabbits at Jimmy Carter count, or does it have to be food?

And for the next GOP rally,... (Below threshold)
DUDACKATTACK!!!:

And for the next GOP rally, disburse some military recruiting brochures.

Not to burst anyone's bubbl... (Below threshold)
Earl:

Not to burst anyone's bubble, but did the Oreo thing really happen? I mean, I wouldn't put it past a lot of people, but I'm finding nothing credible on Google News; mostly a bunch of conservative blogs, ultimately referencing a Washington Times editorial, which refers not to the current election but one back in 2002.

Does anyone have a real news link? If so I'll believe such a travesty happened. But until then, I'm skeptical.

People are quoted in the Ti... (Below threshold)

People are quoted in the Times article admitting that the oreo throwing is a valid tactic, why would they say that if it never happened?

Oh, then I'm probably looki... (Below threshold)
Earl:

Oh, then I'm probably looking at the wrong article. Can you provide a link to the article you're referring to?

Also the Oreo thing goes ba... (Below threshold)

Also the Oreo thing goes back to 2002 when Steele was chosen as Bob Ehrlich's running mate.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/865uojtx.asp

http://www.jhu.edu/~jhumag/0405web/steele.html

And for the record, Google News isn't your best source of information, especialy given the large number of non-news sites that get used in their algorythms.

People are quoted in the... (Below threshold)
Earl:

People are quoted in the Times article admitting that the oreo throwing is a valid tactic, why would they say that if it never happened?

I don't see any such quotes anywhere. I ask again: Link?

And I go back to my initial point: Jay Tea says Steele "is running for governor as a Republican. Naturally, this has a lot of leftists in an uproar, who are taking such racially-sensitive tactics as...throwing Oreos at him at campaign rallies."

Even if we say Johns Hopkins Magazine and the Weekly Standard are news organizations (they're not), neither says anything about throwing of Oreos, and the incident in question was 3 years ago, not in the current election, as Jay Tea says.

Look, I think the racist treatment of Steele by the left is absolutely disgusting. But you can't just make stuff up to bolster your case.

"At a gay rights rally, I r... (Below threshold)

"At a gay rights rally, I recommend Twinkies or fresh fruit."

LMAO!

Can we throw dead baby seals at PETA?

Plunking Jimmy Carter with ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Plunking Jimmy Carter with peanuts is obvious.

Pelting Che Guevera-t-shirt wearing suburbanites with burritos topped with mol sauce would be apropos.

I'd personally like to dump a bowl of 'numbers' Spaghetti-O's! on Paul Krugman.

Or nail George Soros with a very big gyro.

Soros is Hungarian, I think... (Below threshold)
joe:

Soros is Hungarian, I think.

Hillary gets swatted with a... (Below threshold)
DL:

Hillary gets swatted with a pork belly.

Bill gets hit with a blue dress.

Kerry gets swatted with Christmas(in Cambodia)ornaments. - or squirted with ketchup.

Ted Kennedy gets whapped with a life jacket.

Dan Rather just gets swatted with his own picture in a lead frame.

John McCain gets hit with a copy of the Constitution.

Joe Biden get hit with an empty wig.

Harry Reid get swatted with a diaper.

Nancy Pelolsi gets swatted with some botox.

Robert Byrd is an endangered species and may not be swatted!


Goulash it is, then!... (Below threshold)
pgg:

Goulash it is, then!

I think some entre... (Below threshold)
I think some entrepreneur should start making donkey lollipops -- you know candy asses for Democratic gatherings.

We have a winner! (emphasis added)

At any Al Gore or John Kerr... (Below threshold)
Neoluddite:

At any Al Gore or John Kerry event, Sour Grapes would be the projectile du jour.

joe,You're absolut... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

joe,

You're absolutely right! My mistake.

Goulash it is then, with extra paprika.

Interesting, I would reserv... (Below threshold)
RightWingLiberal:

Interesting, I would reserve throwing pork at Republicans and their Bridges to Nowhere, and billion dollar tax cuts to the record breaking profit making oil industry.

Republicans might be right wing but they are not conservatives.

Custom-printed hard candy a... (Below threshold)
kate q:

Custom-printed hard candy animal-shaped suckers.
http://www.atlaspen.com/static/products/504839.php?pv=1&item=504839

So such a thing can be had....

Michael Steele is not runni... (Below threshold)

Michael Steele is not running for Governor of Maryland - he's running for U.S. Senate.

(Steele is the sitting Lt. Governor - and the first black to be elected to statewide office in Maryland history).

Otherwise I agree with your post...

For NARAL and Planned Paren... (Below threshold)

For NARAL and Planned Parenthood:
Jelly Babies.




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