Punishing the victims (Wizbang)

Robert Eckert of Yarmouth, Massachusetts is a marked man.

He's got a lengthy history of encounters with the police, numerous arrests and cour appearances. He can't drive down the road without wondering if he's going to get pulled over and taken in again. He's been fingerprinted so many times his fingertips are almost permanently stained.

His offense? 12 years ago, he lived next door to a dirtbag named James Jones. And Mr. Jones, after one of his numerous arrests, gave his name to police as "Robert Eckert."

That led to Eckert's name being listed as an alias for Jones. And every single time Jones gets in trouble with the law, a flag goes up and Eckert is hauled in again until he can exonerate himself.

I have a simple solution to identity theft cases like this, where a person is victimized for years by a scumbag. After a certain point, the victim can just kill the offender, and face only charges of attempted suicide.

In this case, Mr. Eckert could kill Mr. Jones. Since Mr. Jones repeatedly insists that he is Mr. Eckert, it could be considered a form of suicide. And since Mr. Eckert is verifiably alive, the attempt must have been unsuccessful. All that remains would be some other minor charges -- littering, discharging a firearm, and the like.

Yeah, it's a bit draconian. But it oughta do wonders in the fight against identity theft.

The Wizbang® Network

Wizbang Blue: Caribou Barbie Sarah Palin is a Quitter

She can't stand the heat, so she's getting out of the kitchen: Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) announced this afternoon she will resign from office on July 26 and return to private life, a stunning decision by last year's Republican...

4:54 PM | 13 comments

Wizbang Blue: Erratic Sarah Palin Quits Her Job

If anything, Sarah Palin is full of strange surprises if anything. And her latest bombshell that she's quitting her job as governor of Alaska before even completing one full term should just about completely write her off as one of...

4:52 PM | 1 comments

Wizbang Blue: The 2010 AMC Ambassador?

HOT ROD's website recently offered up some wild futuristic artist renderings of what the 2010 AMC Ambassador might have looked like if little carmaker AMC had survived and not been acquired by Chrysler in 1987. The Ambassador became the top...

2:46 PM | 0 comments

Wizbang Blue: President Obama's Approval Numbers Rise To 62%

In the latest Gallup tracking poll on the public approval of President Obama's job performance, his approval numbers have ticked up slightly to 62% approval vs. 31% disapproval. These are improved public approval numbers than the low of 57% he...

2:11 PM | 6 comments

Wizbang Blue: Judge Rules Blogger Does Not Have Same Equal Protection Free Speech Rights As Journalists

In what might become an important ruling limiting the legal free speech rights of bloggers, a Freehold, NJ Superior Court Judge J.S.C. Loucuascio has ruled that a Washington state blogger, Shellee Hale, who writes for Oprano.com, does not have the...

12:22 PM | 2 comments

Wizbang Blue: GOP Class of '94: The Family Values Hypocrites

It's 1994. The GOP promised to dismantle social programs, cut taxes and balance the budget. Newt Gingrich massaged the message, and the "Me Generation" bought it hook, line and sinker. This was the new GOP, and they had made...

1:12 PM | 44 comments

Wizbang Pop!: This Week on Magazines

8:05 AM | 0 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Durable Oscar Winner Karl Malden Dies at 97

Karl Malden, the bulbous-nosed character actor who won a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Mitch, the guiless suitor of Blanche DuBois in the 1951 classic A Street...

8:02 AM | 2 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Sears Tower unveils 103rd floor glass balconies

Visitors to the Sears Tower's new glass balconies all seem to agree: The first step is the hardest. The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut...

7:50 AM | 0 comments

Wizbang Pop!: Jen & Angie Top Forbes Celeb 100

Angelina Jolie's was named highest-paid actress on Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 list. Coming in second behind Angie is Jennifer Aniston. Which would have the rag mags in a tizzy...

7:42 AM | 0 comments

Comments (11)

I keep waiting for someone ... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by bullwinkle | January 2, 2006 2:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

bullwinkle:

I keep waiting for someone to steal my identity so I can kill them and fake my own death, collect the insurance money, move to Mexico and live out my life on the beach in luxury, uh wait, nevermind...

Posted on January 2, 2006 14:38

I think you're definitely o... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Old Soldier | January 2, 2006 4:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Old Soldier:

I think you're definitely onto something. We need a few Congressmen (or women) to get on board and sponsor a bill...

Posted on January 2, 2006 16:07

Someone stole my identity o... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by McGehee | January 2, 2006 4:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

McGehee:

Someone stole my identity once. For three weeks my debt load shrank and my credit rating improved. I had money, and people liked me.

Then the scumbag gave it back.

Posted on January 2, 2006 16:17

This case of autocide would... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by machs | January 2, 2006 4:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

machs:

This case of autocide would be justified, except in Oregon.

Posted on January 2, 2006 16:34

Isn't giving a wrong name t... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by JohnAnnArbor | January 2, 2006 6:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

JohnAnnArbor:

Isn't giving a wrong name to police a crime in itself?

Also, couldn't Mr. Eckert sue Mr. Jones for harassment? Assuming Mr. Jones has any assets to seize......

Posted on January 2, 2006 18:01

Or maybe the police could j... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Faith+1 | January 2, 2006 7:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Faith+1:

Or maybe the police could just keep track of this guy using an alias and stop hauling in the innocent one all the time...

Posted on January 2, 2006 19:03

Don't think of it as killin... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Jack | January 2, 2006 10:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Jack:

Don't think of it as killing the thief. Just think of it as deleting the duplicate copy.

Posted on January 2, 2006 22:30

Just wondering why a guy wh... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Denny Crane | January 2, 2006 10:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Denny Crane:

Just wondering why a guy who considers himself a "gifted writer" would open a paragraph with "he's got a lengthy history...." I guess it takes a gift to come up with a contracted version of "he has got," when "he has" does the job just fine.

More words are better, I suppose. Yeah, whenever you can increase the word count by 33 percent, the reader must reap a bargain.

Posted on January 2, 2006 22:51

Wow, Mr. Crane used 69 word... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by John Irving | January 2, 2006 11:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

John Irving:

Wow, Mr. Crane used 69 words to do nothing but prove he's a petty jerk.

I'm in agreement that identity theft needs to be dealt with harshly, as does lazy law enforcement. That they have made no note of this dual identity and continue to harass the same man simply due to having the misfortune to have had a criminal steal your name seems potentially actionable.

Posted on January 2, 2006 23:18

I was going to comment here... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Random Yak | January 3, 2006 1:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Random Yak:

I was going to comment here, but then I realized Mr. Crane's work needed a little editing to conform to his self-imposed "less is more" style:

From:
"Just wondering why a guy who considers himself a "gifted writer" would open a paragraph with "he's got a lengthy history...." I guess it takes a gift to come up with a contracted version of "he has got," when "he has" does the job just fine."

To:

I wonder why a self-proclaimed "gifted writer" opens a paragraph with "he's got a lengthy history." It takes a gift to form a contraction of "he has got" when "he has" works just as well."

From 46 words and an unnecessary ellipsis to 35 words, without losing a bit of the original ironic flavor.

Don't feel bad, Mr. Crane. Keep trying and you'll improve with time.

Posted on January 3, 2006 01:07

Random: Bravo!Jay,... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Dan S | January 3, 2006 12:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Dan S:

Random: Bravo!

Jay, I'm with you. But let's not let to lazy police off the hook either. After twice, this should be actionable harrassment.

Posted on January 3, 2006 12:57

Comment Preview

Posted by: