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The keys to Michael Jackson's kingdom have just been ripped from his mother's hands. Over the objections of Katherine Jackson, a Los Angeles probate judge today ruled that Michael...
1:54 PM | 
1 comments
The fact that Barack Obama was elected President is a pretty clear indicator that Politics is not scientific. That is, with all due respect to the President, his resume was...
1:31 PM | 3 comments
8:05 AM | 1 comments
Karl Malden, the bulbous-nosed character actor who won a Best Supporting Oscar for his role as Mitch, the guiless suitor of Blanche DuBois in the 1951 classic A Street...
8:02 AM | 6 comments
Visitors to the Sears Tower's new glass balconies all seem to agree: The first step is the hardest. The balconies are suspended 1,353 feet in the air and jut...
7:50 AM | 0 comments
Angelina Jolie's was named highest-paid actress on Forbes' annual Celebrity 100 list. Coming in second behind Angie is Jennifer Aniston. Which would have the rag mags in a tizzy...
7:42 AM | 2 comments
It's still unclear what David Carradine was doing when he died, but a doctor knows what technically killed him. Having already ruled out suicide by hanging, the private pathologist...
7:37 AM | 2 comments
Dimension Films has acquired the remake rights to "An American Werewolf in London", John Landis' 1981 horror-comedy. Landis spoke to bloodydisgusting.com and said "Yes, Dimension is now in negotiation...
7:30 AM | 1 comments
article here!! Jackson was not the biological father of any of his three children, it was claimed yesterday - a revelation that may herald new complications in his family's...
10:06 PM | 4 comments
SELLER: Alan Jackson LOCATION: Moran Road, Franklin, TN PRICE: $38,000,000 SIZE: 19,000 square feet (approx.), 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 2 half bathrooms DESCRIPTION: Magnificent offering w/o compare. Bordered by...
7:57 AM | 1 comments
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Comments (113)
President Bush questions th... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Phinn | February 10, 2006 7:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush questions the "qualifications" of the presumptive 2008 Democratic presidential nominee, Hillary Clinton.
1. Posted by Phinn | February 10, 2006 7:07 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:07
2. Posted by LJD | February 10, 2006 7:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Since 'bring it on' seems not to have lured OBL from his refuge, W takes another approach.
2. Posted by LJD | February 10, 2006 7:09 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:09
3. Posted by Pigilito | February 10, 2006 7:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
About two shot glasses worth. What was your question again?
3. Posted by Pigilito | February 10, 2006 7:13 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:13
4. Posted by EXDemocrat | February 10, 2006 7:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I have about this much patience left with you!
4. Posted by EXDemocrat | February 10, 2006 7:18 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:18
5. Posted by MikeB | February 10, 2006 7:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"President Carter, I'm crushing your skull."
- MikeB
5. Posted by MikeB | February 10, 2006 7:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:21
6. Posted by JimK | February 10, 2006 7:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well, yes, we all know about Mr. Cheney's. Condi's isn't quite as big."
6. Posted by JimK | February 10, 2006 7:28 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:28
7. Posted by Alex Nunez | February 10, 2006 7:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Helen Thomas learns too late that it is President Bush, and not Dick Cheney, who has mastered the Darth Vader force choke.
7. Posted by Alex Nunez | February 10, 2006 7:29 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:29
8. Posted by jocrazy0 | February 10, 2006 7:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DHS spied on Ted. Condy was right!!!!!
8. Posted by jocrazy0 | February 10, 2006 7:31 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:31
9. Posted by Alex Nunez | February 10, 2006 7:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Helen Thomas learns too late that it is President Bush, not Dick Cheney, who has mastered the Darth Vader force choke.
(Corrected... I didn't mean to leave that "and" in my original submission)
9. Posted by Alex Nunez | February 10, 2006 7:33 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:33
10. Posted by Tango | February 10, 2006 7:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Sam, when I look at your head through my fingers, like this, I can imagine smooshing your noggin' and toupee into a Shepherd's Pie of partisan goo."
10. Posted by Tango | February 10, 2006 7:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:46
11. Posted by Kim Priestap | February 10, 2006 7:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"How much do Americans like Hillary? I'd say this much."
11. Posted by Kim Priestap | February 10, 2006 7:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:48
12. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 10, 2006 7:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush corrects the Dick Cheney Schlong myth.
12. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 10, 2006 7:56 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:56
13. Posted by weegie | February 10, 2006 7:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
In a world of intellectual and moral giants, Jimmy Carter is about this tall.
13. Posted by weegie | February 10, 2006 7:56 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 07:56
14. Posted by Phinn | February 10, 2006 8:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
While defending the NSA domestic surveillance program, President Bush reveals a surprising piece of personal information generated by the program regarding Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY).
14. Posted by Phinn | February 10, 2006 8:17 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 08:17
15. Posted by Paul | February 10, 2006 8:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I will tell you what, man. When I get my hands on that Bin Laden, I'm gonna ring his neck until its this thick. I'm tellin' ya!
15. Posted by Paul | February 10, 2006 8:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 08:20
16. Posted by pedrovex | February 10, 2006 8:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I once caught a fish this big"
16. Posted by pedrovex | February 10, 2006 8:22 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 08:22
17. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 10, 2006 8:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"So are you proud of your SCOTUS nominees?"
"Only Alito"
17. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 10, 2006 8:27 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 08:27
18. Posted by Hoodlumman | February 10, 2006 8:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hey. Look at me. Do you see this? This is the length of your leash. Next effing question."
18. Posted by Hoodlumman | February 10, 2006 8:35 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 08:35
19. Posted by Josh Cohen | February 10, 2006 8:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"No! No! I can't hear your question criticizing my policies because I'm crushing your head! Look! Look! I'm crushing your head!"
19. Posted by Josh Cohen | February 10, 2006 8:45 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 08:45
20. Posted by heptacableguy | February 10, 2006 8:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
...and for my super change-up I put just one finger across the seams...
20. Posted by heptacableguy | February 10, 2006 8:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 08:59
21. Posted by Village Idiot | February 10, 2006 9:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
At the funeral of Tookie Williams, President Bush calls for a moment of silence while flashing the crips gang sign.
21. Posted by Village Idiot | February 10, 2006 9:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:01
22. Posted by David Gerstman | February 10, 2006 9:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I know this is similar to the Helen Thomas one, but I thought of this before I saw it:
"I find your lack of faith disturbing."
22. Posted by David Gerstman | February 10, 2006 9:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:01
23. Posted by radio free fred | February 10, 2006 9:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
" I'm just that much short of stupid."
23. Posted by radio free fred | February 10, 2006 9:05 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:05
24. Posted by lawhawk | February 10, 2006 9:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And this is the combined intelligence of the DNC leadership.
Howard Dean wishes he had even this much money in the DNC bank accounts.
I've covered my tracks with precisely this much horsecrap so there's no way you can pin anything on me.
My precious!
24. Posted by lawhawk | February 10, 2006 9:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:11
25. Posted by Faith+1 | February 10, 2006 9:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This is about how much I care about polls and what the press thinks of me...like it or not I have a job to do.
25. Posted by Faith+1 | February 10, 2006 9:15 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:15
26. Posted by Faith+1 | February 10, 2006 9:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hah, they call me stupid but I only have to use this much intelligence to outwit the Liberals."
26. Posted by Faith+1 | February 10, 2006 9:18 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:18
27. Posted by Stephen Macklin | February 10, 2006 9:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush was asked today to estimate the level of media objectivity.
27. Posted by Stephen Macklin | February 10, 2006 9:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:21
28. Posted by Stephen Macklin | February 10, 2006 9:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It was a piece of pretzel about this big.
28. Posted by Stephen Macklin | February 10, 2006 9:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:21
29. Posted by bcb0225 | February 10, 2006 9:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Well if you ask me I thought the ball was this far from the goal line when Roethlisberger was tackled, so the call should have been revesed.
29. Posted by bcb0225 | February 10, 2006 9:27 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:27
30. Posted by Mighty Dwight | February 10, 2006 9:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"C'mon everybody, sing it..C is for Cookies, that's good enough for me...C is for Cookies, that's good enough for me...OOOOOHHHH C is for Cookies, that's good enough for me...Ohh Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C"
30. Posted by Mighty Dwight | February 10, 2006 9:27 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:27
31. Posted by FreakyBoy | February 10, 2006 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bush constantly marveled at his opposable thumbs.
31. Posted by FreakyBoy | February 10, 2006 9:28 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:28
32. Posted by robert | February 10, 2006 9:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
There once was a man of our side,
our leader, mentor, and guide.
But he learned from the Veep,
a lesson to keep.
It's not how long, but how wide.
32. Posted by robert | February 10, 2006 9:42 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:42
33. Posted by Elmo | February 10, 2006 9:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
O.K. ..... I'll repeat my answer for the hearing impaired reporters who are here today. Using international sign language. What's that ..... Terry Moran isn't spelt 'cunt'?
33. Posted by Elmo | February 10, 2006 9:55 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 09:55
34. Posted by Jeff | February 10, 2006 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dick Cheney told me he was in the Senate Sauna the other day with Harry Reid & even with a full chub Reid was only this big.
34. Posted by Jeff | February 10, 2006 10:00 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:00
35. Posted by bcb0225 | February 10, 2006 10:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush holds up an invisible vial containing a sample of the Bush Derangement Syndrome virus.
35. Posted by bcb0225 | February 10, 2006 10:15 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:15
36. Posted by Daniel | February 10, 2006 10:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush demonstrates the proper grip for throwing a circle-change, a parting gift he recieved from the Texas Rangers pitching staff.
36. Posted by Daniel | February 10, 2006 10:17 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:17
37. Posted by Timmer | February 10, 2006 10:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
We need to NIP IT IN THE BUD I'm tellin' ya, this terrorism thing is out of control, so we NIP IT, NIP IT IN THE BUD.
37. Posted by Timmer | February 10, 2006 10:18 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:18
38. Posted by Timmer | February 10, 2006 10:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
ZIPPIT. ZIP. IT.
38. Posted by Timmer | February 10, 2006 10:19 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:19
39. Posted by Rachel Edith | February 10, 2006 10:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You saw us. The wife and I are good. And so, I announce today that Laura and I will compete on the next Dancing With The Politicians. Hah. We also have an edge. I control telecommunications in this here land. By my calculation, we will win by this much."
39. Posted by Rachel Edith | February 10, 2006 10:26 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:26
40. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | February 10, 2006 10:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Why do Dhimmi Carter and Howard Dean feel the need to lash out all the time? Yep. Size does matter."
40. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | February 10, 2006 10:28 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:28
41. Posted by pprice | February 10, 2006 10:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You see, that's why the 'virgin thing' is so important.
41. Posted by pprice | February 10, 2006 10:32 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:32
42. Posted by jhow66 | February 10, 2006 10:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Allen Combs eyebrow raises this much when you say "lideral".
42. Posted by jhow66 | February 10, 2006 10:34 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:34
43. Posted by jhow66 | February 10, 2006 10:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"liberal"
43. Posted by jhow66 | February 10, 2006 10:35 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:35
44. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | February 10, 2006 10:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head!
44. Posted by Jeff Medcalf | February 10, 2006 10:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:37
45. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | February 10, 2006 10:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Actually, having read the Vader jokes, it got me to thinking about the Alito hearings
Bush's response to Lindsey Graham standing up for Alito
"Apology accepted... Senator Graham"
45. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | February 10, 2006 10:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 10:37
46. Posted by JohnAnnArbor | February 10, 2006 11:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Reliable reports say that al-Qaeda members are taught to squeeze through cracks this wide. It was a mistake to fund Afghani yoga training in the 1990s."
46. Posted by JohnAnnArbor | February 10, 2006 11:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 11:01
47. Posted by Julian | February 10, 2006 11:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush prepares to silence a filibustering Ted Kennedy using a deft application of the Vulcan nerve pinch.
47. Posted by Julian | February 10, 2006 11:24 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 11:24
48. Posted by starboardhelm | February 10, 2006 11:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You know, I saw Bin Laden on TV, and he's only about this tall!
48. Posted by starboardhelm | February 10, 2006 11:42 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 11:42
49. Posted by yetanotherjohn | February 10, 2006 11:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Reporter: Mr. President, Nancy Pelosi was recently quoted in the New York Times as saying that it's not true you can't beat something with nothing and she cited last years defeat of social security reform as an example of the democrat's beating your something with their nothing. What do you have to say about your administration's defeat in social security reform last year?
President Bush: Missed by that much.
49. Posted by yetanotherjohn | February 10, 2006 11:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 11:46
50. Posted by Lindy R. Dole | February 10, 2006 11:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"So what does Laura think six inches is?"
50. Posted by Lindy R. Dole | February 10, 2006 11:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 11:50
51. Posted by Lew Clark | February 10, 2006 11:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Well let me put it another way. If you took every time Howard Dean has been right. And you represented each instance with a dollar bill. And you placed all those dollar bills end-to-end. They would stretch from here to here.
51. Posted by Lew Clark | February 10, 2006 11:55 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 11:55
52. Posted by JEW | February 10, 2006 12:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Honest, at the funeral Hillary told me...
Lindy you bout beat me to it....
52. Posted by JEW | February 10, 2006 12:16 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 12:16
53. Posted by CarScenic | February 10, 2006 12:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Every day I'm this close to prison, okay?!!
53. Posted by CarScenic | February 10, 2006 12:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 12:19
54. Posted by walrus | February 10, 2006 12:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I would just like to remind Iran that if you do get your atomic bomb we have enough of our own to turn your country into glass this thick. Next question.
54. Posted by walrus | February 10, 2006 12:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 12:24
55. Posted by harmlesslittlefuzzball | February 10, 2006 12:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
From now on, all correspondents must be able to prove they possess at least this much intelligence before a press pass will be issued.
55. Posted by harmlesslittlefuzzball | February 10, 2006 12:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 12:36
56. Posted by Guido | February 10, 2006 12:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I gotta tell ya, I'm an easy goin' guy, but at our last debate, I was this close to walkin' over and stompin' John Kerry's sorry ass.
56. Posted by Guido | February 10, 2006 12:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 12:51
57. Posted by skymuse | February 10, 2006 12:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush displays a recently-intercepted 2-inch Invisible Al Qaeda operative. It is believed these operatives would board airplanes undetected and slip into the cockpit in order to take control and crash them into buildings.
57. Posted by skymuse | February 10, 2006 12:59 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 12:59
58. Posted by skymuse | February 10, 2006 1:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush demonstrates an intellectual tool generally lacked by liberals: Perspective.
58. Posted by skymuse | February 10, 2006 1:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 13:00
59. Posted by cbentpri | February 10, 2006 1:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
About this much more whipped cream oughta do me just fine.
59. Posted by cbentpri | February 10, 2006 1:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 13:02
60. Posted by jmaster | February 10, 2006 1:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
During a discussion of potential electromagnetic effects of a first strike nuclear airburst over Tehran, Bush explains to members of his cabinet that the magnitude of the force per unit length generated by a magnetic field impinging on a segment of conductor is proportional to the current times the magnetic field density, while the direction of the force is determined by the "The Right Hand Rule".
60. Posted by jmaster | February 10, 2006 1:13 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 13:13
61. Posted by Matt | February 10, 2006 1:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
If that fool Carter bad-mouths me again I'm gonna cram a peanut this big right up his a**.
61. Posted by Matt | February 10, 2006 1:13 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 13:13
62. Posted by Headzero | February 10, 2006 1:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The difference between Iraq and Iran? About this much.
62. Posted by Headzero | February 10, 2006 1:15 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 13:15
63. Posted by Norm | February 10, 2006 1:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I swear, I saw Hillary naked and she had one this big. No wonder Bill goes after real women.
63. Posted by Norm | February 10, 2006 1:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 13:46
64. Posted by kbiel | February 10, 2006 1:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I squish your head, Teddy! Eww, it's full of bourbon."
64. Posted by kbiel | February 10, 2006 1:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 13:47
65. Posted by McGehee | February 10, 2006 2:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I said no smoking in the audio-torium, dagnab it! Lemme crush that cigarette out fer ya."
65. Posted by McGehee | February 10, 2006 2:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 14:11
66. Posted by Strick | February 10, 2006 2:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, I'm tellin' ya, since they been doin' fundraisin', m' dad's been playing tennis with 'im and he saw 'im in the shower. That's it, that's all Monica had to work with.
66. Posted by Strick | February 10, 2006 2:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 14:39
67. Posted by DaveD | February 10, 2006 2:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Damn, I can't believe I forgot my PIN again!!!! LAURAAAAA!!!!!
67. Posted by DaveD | February 10, 2006 2:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 14:48
68. Posted by c | February 10, 2006 3:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Why yes, Rummy DID teach me the five point palm-exploding heart technique."
68. Posted by c | February 10, 2006 3:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 15:10
69. Posted by Derby01 | February 10, 2006 3:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Me and the House of Saud are like this."
69. Posted by Derby01 | February 10, 2006 3:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 15:21
70. Posted by Jeff | February 10, 2006 3:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I said it's that THICK, not that LONG.
70. Posted by Jeff | February 10, 2006 3:33 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 15:33
71. Posted by Smoke Eater | February 10, 2006 3:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(Bush thought bubble) - I just wonder what will be said when I really DO crush someone's head by doing this?
71. Posted by Smoke Eater | February 10, 2006 3:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 15:39
72. Posted by OC Chuck | February 10, 2006 3:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
KOS version:
"I got this hole in my back, see, and Dick takes his arm and sticks it in there and moves his fingers like this, and that's why it looks like I'm talkin'."
72. Posted by OC Chuck | February 10, 2006 3:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 15:40
73. Posted by Giacomo | February 10, 2006 3:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I don't care if you've been here the longest, Helen, you're this close to getting your wrinkly backside tossed out."
73. Posted by Giacomo | February 10, 2006 3:43 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 15:43
74. Posted by OC Chuck | February 10, 2006 3:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Helen, would you just shut up? I'm gonna have to pinch your mouth closed if you don't!"
74. Posted by OC Chuck | February 10, 2006 3:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 15:45
75. Posted by Brant | February 10, 2006 4:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Sure, its no Cheney... but, uhh, you know... way you swing the ax and all that, right?"
75. Posted by Brant | February 10, 2006 4:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 16:06
76. Posted by lowmal | February 10, 2006 4:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"That's right, I said Hillary is a CUNT, with a capital C!!"
76. Posted by lowmal | February 10, 2006 4:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 16:08
77. Posted by D. Carter | February 10, 2006 4:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well, ya know, alotta our foreign policy problems were created by two ex-presidents. I don't want to get personal, but their last names began with this letter.
77. Posted by D. Carter | February 10, 2006 4:17 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 16:17
78. Posted by Master Shake | February 10, 2006 4:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Just counting the time he was at the funeral, Ted Kennedy's bar tab was this high."
78. Posted by Master Shake | February 10, 2006 4:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 16:37
79. Posted by bcb0225 | February 10, 2006 4:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush interrupted the press conference to share a brief lesson on making shadow puppets.
79. Posted by bcb0225 | February 10, 2006 4:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 16:42
80. Posted by jim | February 10, 2006 5:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I've had you all fooled. I know this much about politics. (hun hun hun)
80. Posted by jim | February 10, 2006 5:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 17:01
81. Posted by jmaster | February 10, 2006 5:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"How do ya do that "Shocker" thing again?"
81. Posted by jmaster | February 10, 2006 5:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 17:04
82. Posted by John Simpson | February 10, 2006 5:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I'd say Mohammed 's dick is about this big."
82. Posted by John Simpson | February 10, 2006 5:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 17:20
83. Posted by John Simpson | February 10, 2006 5:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I'd say Mohammed 's dick was about this big. That's why he liked 9-year-olds."
83. Posted by John Simpson | February 10, 2006 5:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 17:21
84. Posted by Bob Wray | February 10, 2006 5:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John Kerry's?
84. Posted by Bob Wray | February 10, 2006 5:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 17:31
85. Posted by retired military | February 10, 2006 5:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"you say the NY TImes is about this thick?"
Okay so now that we have established how how they pile shit in NY what was your question?
---------------------
"This is about how far Iran's will go if they get into a pissing contest with the US."
-----------------------
"The depth of the average Democratic Senator's thought is about this much"
85. Posted by retired military | February 10, 2006 5:43 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 17:43
86. Posted by retired military | February 10, 2006 5:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"you say the NY TImes is about this thick?"
Okay so now that we have established how how they pile shit in NY what was your question?
Should have been
"you say the NY TImes is about this thick?"
Okay so now that we have established how how HIGH
they pile shit in NY what was your question?
86. Posted by retired military | February 10, 2006 5:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 17:44
87. Posted by Omni | February 10, 2006 5:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Guess what the average liberal man has that's this big."
(his thumb, lol?)
87. Posted by Omni | February 10, 2006 5:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 17:49
88. Posted by RadicalMan | February 10, 2006 6:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
In frustration, President Bush resorts to shadow puppetry, to get his message across to the main stream media, at his press conference this week.
88. Posted by RadicalMan | February 10, 2006 6:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 18:08
89. Posted by smitty | February 10, 2006 6:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
At the State of the Union party I asked Ted Kennedy how much scotch he wanted in his drink, so he showed me.
89. Posted by smitty | February 10, 2006 6:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 18:40
90. Posted by franksalterego | February 10, 2006 6:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ted Kennedy?...
I once saw 'im shoot flames out 'is arse, THIS LONG.
90. Posted by franksalterego | February 10, 2006 6:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 18:41
91. Posted by Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith | February 10, 2006 7:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout...
91. Posted by Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith | February 10, 2006 7:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 19:28
92. Posted by Peace Moonbeam | February 10, 2006 8:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm tellin you, Dad said Bill told him Hillary had one at least this big and balls to boot!
92. Posted by Peace Moonbeam | February 10, 2006 8:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 20:00
93. Posted by Joanne | February 10, 2006 9:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'd say the Democrats have this much integrity altogether, which, coincidentally, is the same amount of liquor left in Ted Kennedy's flask at lunchtime.
93. Posted by Joanne | February 10, 2006 9:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 21:28
94. Posted by vader06 | February 10, 2006 10:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'd say I beat John Kerry by thaaaaat much...
94. Posted by vader06 | February 10, 2006 10:13 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 22:13
95. Posted by cs | February 10, 2006 11:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
We are about this close to another war!
95. Posted by cs | February 10, 2006 11:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 23:04
96. Posted by Rusty | February 10, 2006 11:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"And when he's not sitting on telephone books, lil Tommy Daschle is about this high"
96. Posted by Rusty | February 10, 2006 11:55 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 10, 2006 23:55
97. Posted by Rob Filomena | February 11, 2006 7:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
President Bush orders up his trademark cocktail "4 fingers of Jesus" after learning that pictures of himself with beleagured lobbyist Jack Abramoff exist, breaking a 20 year abstinence from drinking.
97. Posted by Rob Filomena | February 11, 2006 7:28 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 07:28
98. Posted by takefive | February 11, 2006 9:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sure I lied. But they were all just tiny lies!
98. Posted by takefive | February 11, 2006 9:12 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 09:12
99. Posted by Ingress | February 11, 2006 10:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"If you want to be blunt about what has taken place, sometimes when you don't measure, you just shuffle kids through. Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling."
Jan. 23, 2004
Washington, D.C.
99. Posted by Ingress | February 11, 2006 10:33 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 10:33
100. Posted by JAT | February 11, 2006 12:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yes, our satellite imagining recon of the Kennedy compound near Hyannisport picked up a photo of Teddy, so I can confirm it Helen, Teddy's d**k is about this big. Next question
100. Posted by JAT | February 11, 2006 12:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 12:02
101. Posted by smitty | February 11, 2006 12:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
At the hearing, Sam Alito was this close to punching Ted Kennedy in the snoot.
101. Posted by smitty | February 11, 2006 12:52 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 12:52
102. Posted by Charles V | February 11, 2006 6:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
...and Mohammad turned to the Catholic priest, pimp, and Pentacostal minister and said "when the average penis of an Arab is only this long, three legged camels are.............!"
102. Posted by Charles V | February 11, 2006 6:07 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 18:07
103. Posted by spacemonkey | February 11, 2006 6:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
W: What was my average at Yale? Well, I can show you in sign language.
103. Posted by spacemonkey | February 11, 2006 6:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 18:21
104. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 11, 2006 6:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I only need a little time off in Crawford."
104. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 11, 2006 6:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 18:22
105. Posted by charles austin | February 11, 2006 11:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Bin Laden? Missed him by that much."
105. Posted by charles austin | February 11, 2006 11:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 23:26
106. Posted by charles austin | February 11, 2006 11:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Diameter. Isn't that what you asked for Helen?"
106. Posted by charles austin | February 11, 2006 11:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 23:29
107. Posted by Steve Doherty Jr. | February 11, 2006 11:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I swear to God that Mom's is that much larger than dad's."
107. Posted by Steve Doherty Jr. | February 11, 2006 11:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 11, 2006 23:41
108. Posted by Pat | February 12, 2006 1:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"President Bush attempts to communicate with a blind reporter by using sign language."
108. Posted by Pat | February 12, 2006 1:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 12, 2006 01:36
109. Posted by Hermoine | February 12, 2006 8:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Ok, so maybe I made an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weenie mistake saying I didn't meet with Abramoff."
109. Posted by Hermoine | February 12, 2006 8:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 12, 2006 08:59
110. Posted by itismedavid | February 12, 2006 9:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yes, "C" is for "cut" as in what I am doing to the budget - except of course for Defense. Rock on!
110. Posted by itismedavid | February 12, 2006 9:00 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 12, 2006 09:00
111. Posted by Aaron's cc: | February 12, 2006 3:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
How big Israel will be after Condi and the Saudi-pensioned State Department are done slicing off chunks to appease the Islamofascist crocodiles.
111. Posted by Aaron's cc: | February 12, 2006 3:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 12, 2006 15:12
112. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 12, 2006 9:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Last time we went huntin' together, Cheney missed me by this much."
112. Posted by Rodney Dill | February 12, 2006 9:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 12, 2006 21:25
113. Posted by Kevin | February 13, 2006 1:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
113. Posted by Kevin | February 13, 2006 1:09 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 13, 2006 01:09