Longtime readers of our humble "weblog" undoubtedly recognize that we, the crack young staff of "The Hatemonger's Quarterly," greatly esteem The Nation magazine, a prime soapbox for lunacy since 1865. Any weekly bold enough to grant column space to a man with as humorous a name as Alexander Cockburn is dynamite in our collective book.
And we must stress that the reader of The Nation, in addition to delighting in the witless rants of Eric Alterman at his most unhinged, is afforded all manner of pleasantries. For instance, in the "Liberal Liasons" portion of its classified section, one sees adverts such as:
EROTIC ADULT PHONE CONVERSATION with sensual, intelligent women. Any topic welcome! Call (888) 495-8255.
"Sensual, intelligent women": So that's the key to progressive 'phone sex. Finally some lascivious chat without all that horrid right-wing bias! It's like Jenna Jameson meets Jerold Nadler. Wow, that's a yummy image.
If, as this ad suggests, we can truly discuss "any topic" with the company's "intelligent" operators, may we humbly suggest dilating on Nation editor Katrina vanden Heuvel's inability to name her own political representatives? We can't vouch for Ms. vanden Heuvel's sensuality, but clearly she's ultra-intelligent.
Perhaps even more entertaining are the smallish advertisements found in the back of the magazine. In addition to T-shirt companies trying to make a quick buck from ardent pacifists with "Kill George Bush" V-necks, there's some really intriguing stuff to buy.
Did you know, for instance, that for a mere $7.95 plus $1.50 postage you can be the proud owner of a "2006 Cat Lovers Against the Bomb" wall calendar? We sure didn't, but we thank our lucky stars that The Nation opened our eyes to this brilliant product from a group called "Nebraskans for Peace." Clearly, their intellectual EKG is as flat as their state.
But what really struck us, the crack young staff of "The Hatemonger's Quarterly," is an ad placed directly above the Nuclear Freeze Kitties. Sporting a picture of a man who looks like a superannuated roadie, the advertisement in question reads: "Patriot Act Blues: Howard Glazer rocks against the right."
If you're anything like us, you are undoubtedly thinking: Boy, with a name like Howard Glazer, you're pretty much born to stick it to the man. We wonder what happened to other anti-conservative rock-'n-roll rebels. Like Sol Mortensen: Perhaps he never recovered from his hip-replacement surgery. Man, that would be so un-hip.
But we digress. Naturally, we jumped at the chance to check out Mr. Glazer's "Patriot Act Blues." We were enraptured to discover, then, that his record company's "website" offers a free "downloadable" snippet from the tune in question.
Our review? Well, let's just say that the ditty is so bad--with its clichéd blues riffs and horrid white-boy-trying-to-sound-cool singing--that we assume it must be a joke. And the lyrics ain't great either.
With any luck, the Feds will get a hold of his album and arrest Mr. Glazer for crimes against Leadbelly.
(Note: The crack young staff regularly "weblog" over at The Hatemonger's Quarterly, where they've contracted a scorching case of the "Victor Navasky Blues.")




Comments (5)
Well, she (Katrina) *looks*... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Charlie (Colorado) | February 12, 2006 2:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Well, she (Katrina) *looks* kinda hot.
1. Posted by Charlie (Colorado) | February 12, 2006 2:05 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 12, 2006 02:05
2. Posted by Omni | February 12, 2006 2:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
LOL!!
One technical point; whether or not a person knows who their representatives are, or for that matter knows any particular thing, has nothing to do with how intelligent they are, but is rather indicative of how well informed they are. Actually, it probably doesn't even indicate THAT, because I don't think a single one of the PhD's I know would be able to name THEIR representatives, either, and they're clearly fairly well informed folks, although not necessarily over a broad spectrum, granted.
Why SHOULD they know? What would it change? Why would they care? This is America, after all...
(Cunningham, Feinstein, Boxer... so, what are you wearing?)
2. Posted by Omni | February 12, 2006 2:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 12, 2006 02:37
3. Posted by kbiel | February 13, 2006 11:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Continued and unattenuated ignorance is a sure sign of a lack of intelligence. She is the editor of a political magazine and yet she can not name the politician who represents her in Congress. That's ignorance to the point of idiocy.
3. Posted by kbiel | February 13, 2006 11:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 13, 2006 11:37
4. Posted by Paul Zrimsek | February 13, 2006 2:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
But it wasn't just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could "relate without getting close." For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack. For one-fifty, you could listen to FM radio with twins. For three bills, you got the works: A thin Jewish brunette would pretend to pick you up at the Museum of Modern Art, let you read her master's, get you involved in a screaming quarrel at Elaine's over Freud's conception of women, and then fake a suicide of your choosing - the perfect evening, for some guys. Nice racket. Great town, New York.
--Woody Allen, "The Whore of Mensa"
4. Posted by Paul Zrimsek | February 13, 2006 2:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 13, 2006 14:06
5. Posted by corwin | February 14, 2006 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Katrina also got a quick slapdown from Tom Wolfein "The Party at Lenny's".Also,her father had a lot of money.Other notable moment of her life include....
5. Posted by corwin | February 14, 2006 9:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2006 09:43