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Another dumb criminal roundup

I've often sung the praises of New Hampshire, but in all candor we're not perfect. We have our problems. It's just being surrounded by Maineiacs, Hosers, Vermonsters, and Massholes (especially the Massholes) makes our own problems look so much less in comparison.

For example, we have crime problems, too. It's just that we tend to be a smidgen less tolerant about it. Let's look at two stories, ripped from today's paper.

First up, we have a Nashua, NH city employee who apparently thought she was on to a good racket. She worked at the landfill, selling permits for five bucks a pop. But she allegedly didn't turn in all the money she took in. Officials did an audit, and estimate she may have helped herself to about ten grand of city money. She's looking at up to 15 years in jail.

Then, in Manchester, we see that your typical New Hampshirite just isn't ready to be a victim. Not even when it's 3:30 in the morning, and the New Hampshirite is a naked, half-asleep 61-year-old man. Ron "Whitey Leblanc was asleep with his wife when he thought he heard an intruder. He didn't bother with calling the cops, getting a weapon, or even putting on his pants; he caught the intruder in his kitchen, tackled him, and wrestled him into a headlock. The burglar dropped his loot and broke free, then fled.

After the scuffle, Whitey looked at the dropped loot: kitchen knives. He'd tackled an armed intruder in his birthday suit -- and won.

Police later caught the guy, and the evidence against him is pretty solid. For one, the intruder dropped a set of keys in Whitey's kitchen. The keys fit a Jeep parked nearby, registered to the suspect, one 23-year-old Joseph Reynolds. I strongly suspect a healthy portion of Mr. Reynolds' punishment will be the teasing and abuse about getting his ass kicked by a naked 61-year-old man.


Comments (5)

If I ever find anyone in my... (Below threshold)
Eneils Bailey:

If I ever find anyone in my kitchen in the dead of night, doing anything other than cooking my breakfast, they would have more to fear than a naked assault. I keep a "big dog" in the house, one that barks in my hand and bites where I point it.

For those of us who qualifi... (Below threshold)
Bat One:

For those of us who qualifiy as more "seasoned" citizens, "Whitey" LeBlanc is a hero.

As for Reynolds, any 23 yeaar old who can manage to get his ass beat by a naked 64 year old, and then leave his keys on the counter when he turns and runs, probably needs to be behind bars just for his own protection. Had LeBlanc killed him in the scuffle, or had he perhaps fallen on one of the knives he was carrying and died, he would no doubt have qualified for a Darwin Award.

Bravo to Mr. LeBlanc! From all the rest of us enjoying our second half century, "You da Man!"

Not all Massholes are assho... (Below threshold)
Ms. B:

Not all Massholes are assholes. Not all Massholes are liberals. I'm a Masshole, but not an asshole or a liberal (not that the two are usually mutually exclusive...) Believe it or not, some of us actually have right-leaning tendancies. ~gasp!~shock!~horror!~

OK, I know my reply didn't have anything to do with your story. Sorry to go off on a tangent.

:-)

Bat One, if he'd fallen on ... (Below threshold)

Bat One, if he'd fallen on one of the knives and been injured he would've taken the homeowner to the cleaners in court...'legally'.

Don't worry, Ms. B. Jay kno... (Below threshold)

Don't worry, Ms. B. Jay knows there's a few of us down here. Granted that number will drop by four when my family jumps ship and joins him as fellow residents of America.




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