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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney speaks during his keynote address to the U.S. Labor Department's 2006 National Summit on Retirement Savings at the Willard Hotel in Washington March 2, 2006. REUTERS/Larry Downing


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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» The Daily Brief: A Military Blog For All The World To See And Read linked with Caption This One (060310)

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» The LLama Butchers linked with An Army of Davids flacking goes too far

Comments (69)

White House Correspondent D... (Below threshold)

White House Correspondent David Gregory spirals further down into his own alcohol induced fantasy.

Pull! <a href="http://www.d... (Below threshold)
Elmo:
Retire? RETIRE? You talkin'... (Below threshold)
Weegie:

Retire? RETIRE? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who then hell else are you talkin' to? Well I'm the only one here. Who do you think you're talking to? Where's my Perazzi?

Every been hunting?... (Below threshold)
Yogurt:

Every been hunting?

Laugh it up, moonbats.... (Below threshold)
Sheik Yur Bouty:

Laugh it up, moonbats.

Not even in your wettest dreams!

Nice photo cropping, you ba... (Below threshold)
Guido:

Nice photo cropping, you bastards! I've shot men for less than this.

"Here Are The Facts As I Kn... (Below threshold)

"Here Are The Facts As I Know Them; I Am The Vice President Of The United States And You Are A Peon." "Next Question?"

This is the only way we can... (Below threshold)

This is the only way we can save Helen Thomas!

"I Had My Tires Checked Yes... (Below threshold)

"I Had My Tires Checked Yesterday, And They Are OK." "Next Question?"

"Retire? Hell, I'm just rel... (Below threshold)

"Retire? Hell, I'm just reloading"

"No I Did Not Shoot A Man I... (Below threshold)

"No I Did Not Shoot A Man In Reno Just To Watch Him Die!" "Next Question?"

"I would like to inform the... (Below threshold)
Robb:

"I would like to inform the American people that I am retiring the position of Vice President of the United States, so that I may accept a newly opened position of the Cabinet."

"What position is that Mr. Cheney?"

"Secretary of Whoop-Ass. Next Question. Yes, Mr. Helen Thomas?"

Why you...I've shot ... (Below threshold)
bluesharper:

Why you...
I've shot a guy for less.

"Go F*@& yourself"!... (Below threshold)
Rick13:

"Go F*@& yourself"!

Make my day.... (Below threshold)
dave:

Make my day.

"Hey Helen: You're next. O... (Below threshold)
JimK:

"Hey Helen: You're next. One way or the other, you old witch."

Retire? When Paris Hilton b... (Below threshold)
Elmo:

Retire? When Paris Hilton becomes the spokesperson for Valtrex. http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/03/09/paris_hilton_probably_has_herp.html

Ummmm, wait a minute ......

In order to increase its me... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

In order to increase its membership, the AARP secretly uses subliminal ads featuring famous people.

"Sure, I'll retire. That w... (Below threshold)

"Sure, I'll retire. That way I'll have more time to hunt. Does anyone know when David Gregory will be in season?"

"I've had something on my m... (Below threshold)

"I've had something on my mind lately. I think I need to buys tires for my car.....or something like that."

Media analysts were stunned... (Below threshold)
No One of Consequence:

Media analysts were stunned when the entire Washington press corps simultaneously retired.

Asked for comment, Vice President Cheney simply replied, "These are not the droids you're looking for."

"Yes Mr. Gregory, you heard... (Below threshold)

"Yes Mr. Gregory, you heard correctly. I am going to retire at the end of the month and and accept a position as head of Halliburton's new photo-cropping division. My salary? Humongous. Next question, please."

What me worry?... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

What me worry?

Retire from public servi... (Below threshold)
Steve Crickmore:

Retire from public service? mmmn..That might be a good career move, I've already retired from Haliburton in 2000, after a lacklustre approval rating, with a 20 million dollar plus severence package and look at how they benefited.

Demonstrating that he still... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

Demonstrating that he still possessed his trademark sneer, aging rocker Billy Idol announced his retirement today.

The new and improved Rovian... (Below threshold)

The new and improved Rovian mind ray enables a visual rendering of what thought is being implanted. Here we see Rove begin the 2008 presidential campaign for Conni Rice with the first step of his master plan.

Retire?, Duhhhhhhh!!!!, Y... (Below threshold)
Ozone64:

Retire?, Duhhhhhhh!!!!, Ya Think?

Controversy today as it was... (Below threshold)
Master Shake:

Controversy today as it was revealed that Halliburton would be responsible for the new White House plan to replace the tires on every vehicle in the United States.

Cult founder Dick Cheney ur... (Below threshold)
Tango:

Cult founder Dick Cheney urges his minions to "retire" from their everyday way of life.

"I have seen a better way," exclaimed Cheney, "place your soul in my hands and I shall build ye in the likeness of a fledgling democracy."

OK, I brought by shotgun. ... (Below threshold)
kbiel:

OK, I brought by shotgun. Who do you want me to retire?

Retire? Do you feel lucky ... (Below threshold)
lakestate:

Retire? Do you feel lucky punk? Well... Do ya?

Only the good die young.</p... (Below threshold)
AbuGhraibYogaInstructor:

Only the good die young.

Was the "Duck" banner at th... (Below threshold)

Was the "Duck" banner at the dry cleaners?

No Retreads.... (Below threshold)
epador:

No Retreads.

What the Reuters caption sh... (Below threshold)

What the Reuters caption should've said:

"U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney speaks during his keynote address to the U.S. Labor Department's 2006 National Summit on Retirement Savings at the Willard Hotel in Washington March 2, 2006. IMPORTANT NOTE: The cropping of this photo is completely coincidental. There is no media bias to see here. Please move along."

Cheney strategically positi... (Below threshold)

Cheney strategically positions himself in front of a retirement banner to remind Democrats he will be retiring on his own terms, losers.

not shown in photo cropping... (Below threshold)

not shown in photo cropping

Retired democrats by voters during Bush Administration include:
Al Gore, Tom Daschle, Richard Gephardt, John Edwards, Bob Kerry, Gray Davis, Dennis Kusinich..
Retired liberals in disgrace include:
Dan Rather, Mary Mapes, Phil Donahue and soon to be Air America.

They can have my retirement... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

They can have my retirement when they pry it from Howard Dean's cold dead fingers...

RETIRE?? I thought it said ... (Below threshold)
SILVER BULLET:

RETIRE?? I thought it said "FIRE" But I forgot ny gun today!

America has voted, Dick, an... (Below threshold)

America has voted, Dick, and you...

...are going home tonight.

Seacrest out!

The Cheney family riots wor... (Below threshold)
McCain:

The Cheney family riots world-wide after a Danish photographer offends them.

"Smile? I am smiling - at ... (Below threshold)

"Smile? I am smiling - at your pitiful attempt at subliminal suggestion. Want to go quail hunting?"

"Which of you is going to s... (Below threshold)
Pat:

"Which of you is going to step up and put me out to pasture?" John Wayne said it first, testifying before Congress about aging in America.

Dick Cheney today announced... (Below threshold)

Dick Cheney today announced his retirement from the office of Vice President effective January 20, 2009.

Helen Thomas: "Dick Season!... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Helen Thomas: "Dick Season!"
Dick Cheney: "Wabbit Season!"
Helen Thomas: "Dick Season!"
Dick Cheney: "Wabbit Season!"
Helen Thomas: "Dick Season!"
Dick Cheney: "Wabbit Season!"...

"I'll take Know your Gam... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"I'll take Know your Game Birds for 1000 Alex."

As an aid to Quail hunters ... (Below threshold)
DJ:

As an aid to Quail hunters everywhere the administration is changing it's plan to save Social Security to be more in line with Teddy's after party plan in order to gain Democrat support.

I know there's a "Sign from... (Below threshold)

I know there's a "Sign from God" joke in here somewhere, but I just can't find it.

Goodyear looks for a new sp... (Below threshold)
Ingress:

Goodyear looks for a new spokesperson.

damn I wish it was turkey s... (Below threshold)
billy:

damn I wish it was turkey season.

At the Brokeback Mountian C... (Below threshold)
billy:

At the Brokeback Mountian Charity Turkey Shoot, Cheney pumps his weapon before releasing his heavy field load over the bush.

Moonbat rant..."Th... (Below threshold)
RadiCalMan:

Moonbat rant...

"This is another obvious subliminal plot by the Karl Rove to manuver himself into the Vice Presidency before the next election cycle, so he can win the Presidency for himself and finally implement his Master Plan to take over the WORLD!"

Insert evil conservative Ha-Ha's here...

Moonbat rant..."Th... (Below threshold)
RadiCalMan:

Moonbat rant...

"This is another obvious subliminal plot by Karl Rove to manuver himself into the Vice Presidency before the next election cycle, so he can win the Presidency for himself and finally implement his Master Plan to take over the WORLD!"

Insert evil conservative Ha-Ha's here...

How can I retire if I haven... (Below threshold)
starboardhelm:

How can I retire if I haven't tired in the first place?

Retire: That's what I call ... (Below threshold)

Retire: That's what I call it now when I shoot someone. Whittington, you're retired! And now I'm going to retire this photographer.

Retire?-- Hell! Rove and I... (Below threshold)
Lloyd:

Retire?-- Hell! Rove and I are just getting started!

"Retire this! Next questio... (Below threshold)
OC Chuck:

"Retire this! Next question."

"Hey, I just got this idea ... (Below threshold)

"Hey, I just got this idea that popped right out of my head! We should retire the White House press corps."

Or should that be "press corpse?"

"Oh Crap, at least I didn't... (Below threshold)

"Oh Crap, at least I didn't attend the Dan Rather retirement dinner with Dubya."

Dick Cheney calls on... (Below threshold)
jack rudd:


Dick Cheney calls on political reporters throughout the MSM to retire, and invites them to join him on his next hunting expedition.

"Retire? Retire! You moron!... (Below threshold)
Charles V:

"Retire? Retire! You moron! The 2nd Lady is engaged beneath this podium right now and she isn't whistling Dixie!"

"If Harry Can Forgive Me Wh... (Below threshold)

"If Harry Can Forgive Me Why Can't You?"

The real reason the the pic... (Below threshold)

The real reason the the picture is cropped so closely is that Vice President Cheney is grabbing his crotch and saying, "I got you're retirement right here, Leahy."

Please substitute "your" fo... (Below threshold)

Please substitute "your" for "you're" in the previous caption. Sorry, too much zinfandel on a Saturday night.

"Hey, Mr. Rather, I think I... (Below threshold)
Kevin Craver:

"Hey, Mr. Rather, I think I found your sign."

"I'd rather burn in a fire ... (Below threshold)
Steve Doherty Jr.:

"I'd rather burn in a fire pit in Hell than
answer anymore questions. No, that'd be too easy; I'd rather be forced to watch those tapes of Condie Rice, at the gym, one more time."

Go 401(k) yourself.... (Below threshold)

Go 401(k) yourself.

Dick Cheney spoke at the 20... (Below threshold)
Amy:

Dick Cheney spoke at the 2006 Dept. of Labor Summit on Retirement Savings, and all he got was this stupid photo crop.

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.




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