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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Natalie Oliveros poses in her apartment in New York March 21, 2006. Oliveros, who is also known as adult video actress Savanna Samson, has produced the wine Sogno Uno which received a 91 (outstanding) rating from wine expert Robert Parker. REUTERS/Keith Bedford


Winners will be announced Sunday - guaranteed!


Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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» bRight & Early linked with First Cup 03.24.06

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Comments (100)

"A loaf of bread, a jug of ... (Below threshold)
Jim:

"A loaf of bread, a jug of . . . A jug. . .jug. . .damn, I lost my train of thought.

Kevin's latest fantasy excu... (Below threshold)
Weegie:

Kevin's latest fantasy excuse why he just couldn't manage to judge the caption contest by Sunday.

I'm sorry, but I can't join... (Below threshold)

I'm sorry, but I can't join this caption contest because I'm too distracted by teh_hawtness.

I'm a lech. I know.

Wine from a porn star and i... (Below threshold)
Guido:

Wine from a porn star and it's called "Sogno Uno"?
Wouldn't "Blow-jzo-Lay" be a more apt name?

Are you supposed to spit or... (Below threshold)
Guido:

Are you supposed to spit or swallow this when you taste it?

Not that I dring that much,... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:

Not that I dring that much, but because I lost the other one in a farm accident I always use large goblets.

Correction:Not tha... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:

Correction:

Not that I drink that much, but because I lost the other one in a farm accident I always use large goblets.

Sogno Uno - Helping ugly pe... (Below threshold)
Guido:

Sogno Uno - Helping ugly people have sex since 2006!

The wine google research te... (Below threshold)

The wine google research team found it's effectiveness ranged from 90 - 99 percent.

Perfect one, Jim. <p... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

Perfect one, Jim.

I'm not even going to try to compete with it!

Honey, a toast to my succes... (Below threshold)

Honey, a toast to my successful implant surgery!

Sogno Uno, because when you... (Below threshold)

Sogno Uno, because when you're watching porn and touching yourself, only the very best wine will do.

MERLOT!!! I will not f#$kin... (Below threshold)
plebe:

MERLOT!!! I will not f#$king drink mer...ahh, what the hell.

More than a mouthful!... (Below threshold)
kirk:

More than a mouthful!

Got MILF?... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Got MILF?

Check out my wine rack!... (Below threshold)
dwm:

Check out my wine rack!

The case against unnecessar... (Below threshold)
plebe:

The case against unnecessarily large wine glasses.

Hmmm."Hellloooooo ... (Below threshold)
ed:

Hmmm.

"Hellloooooo ed".

"....and next in our catalo... (Below threshold)
pedrovex:

"....and next in our catalouge we have a brunette from Nantucket with bigger fake boobs drinking even crappier wine on an uglier couch here at pedrovex's Mail Order Bride Emporium, where you will learn that in the end accesories do not matter."

I got your Napa Valley righ... (Below threshold)
plebe:

I got your Napa Valley right here, big boy

I'm not really a vintner, b... (Below threshold)

I'm not really a vintner, but I played one in my last movie...

No thank you, the wine wont... (Below threshold)
Rick13:

No thank you, the wine wont be necessary!

"The case against unnecessa... (Below threshold)
Fred:

"The case against unnecessarily large wine glasses."

Hey, they are also available in A, B, and C sizes, as well as the D size shown.

Oh, I get it now, the Berke... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Oh, I get it now, the Berkeley study really said the conservatives were more prone to wine.

... Princess Of Porn P... (Below threshold)

... Princess Of Porn Pounds Port ...

Doctors show off the latest... (Below threshold)

Doctors show off the latest advancement in breast augmentation, implants filled with a fine wine and allowed to age under ideal conditions, each boob is going for 10k when completed, 20k if you want the special delivery system.

Drink at your own risk...yo... (Below threshold)
Takefive:

Drink at your own risk...you don't know where that bottle has been.

Smooth on the palate, robus... (Below threshold)
LJD:

Smooth on the palate, robust, with bold tendencies, sweet overtones, and a zesty finish...
...and the wine's not bad either.

Nice freeking couch lady. D... (Below threshold)
markm:

Nice freeking couch lady. Did you buy that at the 70's store?

Tickles the nostrils with a... (Below threshold)
Tango:

Tickles the nostrils with a bouquet of freshly-cut, rain-soaked meadow flowers; a whiff of weathered oak; orange blossoms; and a hint of clitoris.

Relax away the daily grind ... (Below threshold)
rich:

Relax away the daily grind with a glass of my Sogno Uno wine.

Let me try that again...</p... (Below threshold)
LJD:

Let me try that again...

Attractive, soft and bright pink color, a delicate and complex bouquet with strawberry rose petal. The palate is generous, round, and soft, yet brisk and firm with wonderfully balanced richness. Finishes with a nice length and grip. Very versatile, will pair well with sauced beef or pork...

...and the wine's just o.k.

"Sogno Uno was our second c... (Below threshold)
Hamish:

"Sogno Uno was our second choice for a name. My personal favorite, 'Chateau Bukkake Soixante-Neuf,' didn't test as well with focus groups."

"No. I said it had a RO-bu... (Below threshold)
No One of Consequence:

"No. I said it had a RO-bust flavor."

And if you don't like the w... (Below threshold)
Tim:

And if you don't like the wine, you should see what I can do with the bottle!

I just find it disgusting w... (Below threshold)

I just find it disgusting when people use wine to sell sex. Sex should be valued on its own merits. We don't need to cater to the perverted oeniphiles among us with their filthy references to head, body and aftertaste.

I think this qualifies as d... (Below threshold)

I think this qualifies as diversifying your portfolio assets.

If you stare at this pictur... (Below threshold)
bluesharper:

If you stare at this picture long enough, eventually you will see a wine bottle and a glass in the foreground.

"How you doin'?"... (Below threshold)
Master Shake:

"How you doin'?"

Sales of the new wine dropp... (Below threshold)

Sales of the new wine dropped instantly when the story leaked that Ron Jeremy personally installed the cork in every bottle.

Nice rack... of wine. ... (Below threshold)

Nice rack... of wine.

If at first you don't succeed, get her another glass of wine.

Miles would have no problem drinking this merlot, especially if it came with the owner.

Chairman of the Committee t... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

Chairman of the Committee to Elect Bill Clinton to a 3rd Term.

1: "Of course I scored</... (Below threshold)
kbiel:

1: "Of course I scored well with all the wine tasters."

2: "New wine mogul shows off her grape press."

3: "And remember, white wines always go well with blonds and reds go well with brunettes."

the origional champagne gla... (Below threshold)
billburz:

the origional champagne glass was shaped like Marie Antoinette's breast, and this cabernet glass, well, its the breast one available.

Now tell me the truth Bill.... (Below threshold)
Fatbutcute:

Now tell me the truth Bill. Is Hillary going to run for president?

Gives a jug of wine a whole... (Below threshold)
SILVER BULLET:

Gives a jug of wine a whole new meaning!
Drink up, y'all.
SB

"Mmmm, what a nice bouquet.... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Mmmm, what a nice bouquet. Hey! Why did you slap me?"

"Is that a corkscrew in you... (Below threshold)

"Is that a corkscrew in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

After I took this picture a... (Below threshold)
Norm:

After I took this picture at her request, you can't imagine what happened...first I put the camera down on the coffee table, then I took my wine glass, then i told her to get her friggin legs off the couch and give me some space and pass the remote...Gonzaga blew a 17 point lead...DAMN!

Why don't you take the foil... (Below threshold)
wishfulthinking:

Why don't you take the foil off that bottle and move it closer, dear. I don't want to be left high and dry again.

"Great legs, a full body, a... (Below threshold)
Jim in Cleveland:

"Great legs, a full body, and a great finish. And the wine isn't bad, either."

Does "hubada-hubada-hubada-... (Below threshold)
docjim505:

Does "hubada-hubada-hubada-hubada" count as a caption?

Caption "The only thing wro... (Below threshold)
cubanbob:

Caption "The only thing wrong with this picture is that I'm not in it!"

"James Bond... you always w... (Below threshold)

"James Bond... you always were a... cunning linguist."

A bottle of Sogno Uno with ... (Below threshold)
jab:

A bottle of Sogno Uno with a rating of "91":
$35

A set of Riedel Sommeliers Bordeaux Glasses from Williams-Sonoma:
$99

Your own porno movie with Savanna Samson:
PRICELESS!!

This is how Hillary looks i... (Below threshold)

This is how Hillary looks in Bill's wine goggles.

Mind you, that is NOT the first bottle of wine.

Goes down smooth and easy, ... (Below threshold)
ken:

Goes down smooth and easy, with a happy finish.

Titled: Maureen Dowd In Dra... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Titled: Maureen Dowd In Drag, A Self Portrait

"Dear, the man at the wine ... (Below threshold)

"Dear, the man at the wine counter told me that Sogno Uno is Italian for 'uni-breasted strumpet'. What's that supposed to mean"?

Do these goblets make my br... (Below threshold)
n757ct:

Do these goblets make my breasts look small?

Getting closer to the Ameri... (Below threshold)
Michael:

Getting closer to the American male dream - a porn star who brews her own inviting YOU to spend some time with HER.

"Magumbos" the new wine fro... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Magumbos" the new wine from Ernest & Julio Gallo.

Hooters introduces it's new... (Below threshold)
Norman:

Hooters introduces it's new home delivery service!

"I wonder when would be the... (Below threshold)
Master Shake:

"I wonder when would be the best time to tell him I'm a pre-op tranny?"

Sogno Uno - all you need is... (Below threshold)
HankF:

Sogno Uno - all you need is a corkscrew, hand cream and tissues.

Opening his third bottle of... (Below threshold)
smitty:

Opening his third bottle of wine, Bill Clinton finally starts getting amorous toward Hillary.

2008: This week Gallo gidd... (Below threshold)
HankF:

2008: This week Gallo giddily annouced the latest Samson offering, Songo Uno 19, which Parker described as "sweeter than poon tang".

"Of course their not real. ... (Below threshold)
Big E:

"Of course their not real. Now, could you possibly use TWO hands to take the picture? I dont have all day to hang out here and frankly I'm more than just a little uncomfortable with how this is going..."

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"We will sell no breas... u... (Below threshold)
mesablue:

"We will sell no breas... um, er, wine before it's time"

Wow! It's a good thing we t... (Below threshold)
wishfulthinking:

Wow! It's a good thing we tested that one! The bulb at the end didn't help at all.

Now take the busted pink one off the bottle and try the ribbed one. Maybe ribs will make it stronger.

"We will sell no wine (hic)... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"We will sell no wine (hic) before...Holy Rosebud! Check out that bimbo's wine rack!" --Orsen Wells from beyond the grave.

We finally see "The Contine... (Below threshold)
jaymaster:

We finally see "The Continental" from Christopher Walken's view.

Runner up for "The Face of ... (Below threshold)
epador:

Runner up for "The Face of VD" picture contest.

In her latest movie, Savann... (Below threshold)
jaymaster:

In her latest movie, Savanna satisfies her two greatest passions (sex and wine), as she teams up with Asian porn star "Bamboo" for a sex filled romp through California wine country. If you're into inter-racial lesbian action, and wine, don't miss "Sideways"!

Wine & Cheesecake... (Below threshold)

Wine & Cheesecake

Wanted: A corkscrew . . . m... (Below threshold)

Wanted: A corkscrew . . . minus the cork.

Corkscrew this!... (Below threshold)

Corkscrew this!

Porn, alcohol,and gaudy fur... (Below threshold)
doug:

Porn, alcohol,and gaudy furniture.Ain't America great?

Red wine? You're supposed ... (Below threshold)

Red wine? You're supposed to drink white wine with things that smell fishy.

Cheney's Suite requirements... (Below threshold)

Cheney's Suite requirements include Fox on the TV and Sprite in the fridge.

Clinton's Suite requirements include a fox on the couch and a half gallon bottle of wine with a dancing animal on the label.

And he'll need ice with that.

Would you care to drink fro... (Below threshold)
Thom:

Would you care to drink from the glass? The bottle? Or my personal "Decanters" ?????

I hadn't tried Sideways<... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

I hadn't tried Sideways before, but now I was willing to give it a try.

Wine so exciting, it comes ... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

Wine so exciting, it comes with its own condom.

With jugs like hers, who ne... (Below threshold)

With jugs like hers, who needs the bottle?

"Hi Big Boy! If I look lik... (Below threshold)
Hornet:

"Hi Big Boy! If I look like this after the first bottle, imagine how I'll look after you finish the bottle in front of you...and how I'll look in the morning."

That's it, Lady. Drink unt... (Below threshold)

That's it, Lady. Drink until you're easy . . . if you aren't already.

I'll taste Miss Merlot here... (Below threshold)

I'll taste Miss Merlot here.
You can taste whatever is in the bottle.

"When your glass is half-em... (Below threshold)
Tom M:

"When your glass is half-empty, it is good that your girl is half-full".

How did you get a photo of ... (Below threshold)
shark:

How did you get a photo of my girlfriend??!?!

French desperation evident ... (Below threshold)

French desperation evident in latest strategy to end U.S. wine boycott.

HOMEWORK with miss Lafay... (Below threshold)
virgo:

HOMEWORK with miss Lafaye..

"I think you'll find that t... (Below threshold)

"I think you'll find that this vintage is particularly smooth on the tongue, with a delightful finish."

Wine is fine, 'but lick her... (Below threshold)
scrapiron:

Wine is fine, 'but lick her is quicker'

Wet me swip into sompting m... (Below threshold)
moflcky:

Wet me swip into sompting more comfwetable.

ah, now feew wefreshed!

Objects in this scene are s... (Below threshold)
Ken:

Objects in this scene are smaller than they appear?

Wine, Woman, and.. is that ... (Below threshold)
Ken:

Wine, Woman, and.. is that an image of the prophet?!!
Death to the zinfendel!

Zeasorb-AF Super Absorbant ... (Below threshold)
Charles V:

Zeasorb-AF Super Absorbant Antifungal Powder. Cures and soothes athletes foot, jock itch and ringworm. At your local pharmacy now.

Hi big boy, why don't you b... (Below threshold)
TF:

Hi big boy, why don't you bring your goblet over here. I'll hold it for you. Yes, bring the bottle. The one with the pink tip..er...shaft....er....top. I'll hold it as well. Oh! I seem to be out of hands. If I hold the bottle between these goblets, can you pop the cork?

You don't want to know how ... (Below threshold)
he hate me:

You don't want to know how we crush the grapes.

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.




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