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Does Chivas make a tequila?

Earlier today, I heard Ted Kennedy (the senile senior senator from the state of inebriation Massachusetts) addressed one of the illegal alien rallies. Ted had a translator on hand, who repeated his statements in Spanish. (Personally, I found both versions incomprehensible. He needs an English translator.)

My first thought was a bit of a cheap shot. Was it really a good idea to remind those of us who've followed the modern Falstaff for some time about how he was kicked out of Harvard for cheating, more specifically for paying someone to take a Spanish exam? That was why Ted spent a hitch in the Army back in the 50's, and unlike his brothers didn't serve as an officer.

But that started me thinking. It's only natural that Ted supports the illegal aliens. There are so many ways he can identify with them:

  • The illegal aliens refuse to accept the responsibility for their illegal actions in entering this country in violation of the law, or overstaying their visas. Ted Kennedy refused to accept the responsibility for driving his car into the pond at Chappaquiddick, leaving a young woman to die.
  • Ted earned a bit of a "wetback" himself when he swam to shore and left Mary Jo to drown.
  • Too many illegal aliens can't speak English. Ted has his own challenges in this area.
  • Illegal aliens cannot legally work in the United States. Ted Kennedy has never held a job in his life.
  • Illegal aliens are eager to partake of the benefits they did not earn. Ted Kennedy has been riding his family name and money for decades.

In retrospect, it should have been obvious. I should have seen it coming...

Update: I really should have refrained from the "wetback" comment above. The problem is that it's damned near irresistible to avoid mentioning liquids when discussing Ted Kennedy, given his fondness for alcoholic beverages, his "blonde in the pond" history, and the fact that one of his dogs is named "Splash." Teddy is waterlogged in so many ways...


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Comments (25)

Jay, I hate to get picky, b... (Below threshold)
Beth:

Jay, I hate to get picky, but didn't you say that Teddy was in the Army for a little while in the 50's? So, he did have a job, for a little while, at least.

I'm not a Teddy fan by any stretch... in fact, that was the ONLY thing wrong I found... you were, in fact, bordering on kind to him.

Ted earned a bit of a "w... (Below threshold)
J:

Ted earned a bit of a "wetback" himself when he swam to shore and left Mary Jo to drown.

You know, including a racial slur in your piece may get a few people upset......

I think comparing them to T... (Below threshold)
B Moe:

I think comparing them to Ted Kennedy is a helluva lot worse than calling them wetbacks. I mean that is cold Jay Tea.^^

Jay;You complain w... (Below threshold)
Semanticleo:

Jay;

You complain when Oliver posts gratuitous
noggin' slappers you cite as having no substantive
content. What is the salient point you wish to
convey? That cheap partisan shots and opportunistic
politicians should only come from the Right Wing?

Left her to drown?... (Below threshold)

Left her to drown?

I think it's fair to say she was already drown when he left. The impact (of the car hitting the water) did toss poor Mary Jo into the back seat. In the pitch-black water, it is understandable that Kennedy (who was also involved in a serious car accident mind you) had trouble finding her.

It isn't like he shot her in the face or anything.

Leo, I claim the Ted Kenned... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Leo, I claim the Ted Kennedy Exception: NO shots at him are ever considered gratuitous.

And no, I don't complain "when Oliver posts gratuitous noggin' slappers you cite as having no substantive content." I criticize him when he reduces complex issues to simple partisanship, where bad for Bush = good and good for Bush = bad. His obsession with filtering everything through his partisan agenda causes him to make incredibly stupid statements, and his knee-jerk reactions often cause him to take the wrong side on issues of real substance.

Besides, like I said, this is a shot at Ted Kennedy. Those can never be considered cheap or gratuitous. Especially from someone who has to live next state to him.

J.

Give Teddy a break, he's on... (Below threshold)

Give Teddy a break, he's only drinking the cheap scotch that most Americans don't want to drink.

Actually, Seattle, there is... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Actually, Seattle, there is considerable evidence that she was not only alive for some time after the car went in the drink, but conscious. She was found curled up with her head in what was the last air pocket in the car -- see http://ytedk.com/exhibits.htm for proof.

Had he shot her in the face, it would have been kinder than leaving her to slowly drown.

J.

Seattle:Car moving... (Below threshold)

Seattle:

Car moving forward, hits water, front seat passenger thrown into back seat? [that's interesting physics]

Or

Disoriented front seat passenger floats/climbs up to temporary air bubble in back of passenger compartment while drowning? [common occurrence in vehicle immersions]

While there is plenty of controversy on this subject, there are experts that feel if he had gone for help immediately she might have been saved. Having repeatedly trained on underwater egress, I can guarantee you it ain't easy to get out on your own.

NO shots at him are ever c... (Below threshold)
Semanticleo:

NO shots at him are ever considered gratuitous.

So then I have free pass here to lampoon my
buffoon of choice, since I have to live in the
same country as George Bush?

Leo, have you ever been den... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Leo, have you ever been denied that privilege? I don't recall ever quibbling with cheap shots against Bush, just using Bush hatred to shape a position on a major issue.

I understand if you're not used to the kind of environment we have around here. It's very freewheeling and open; we don't filter or delete comments, we don't require registration, and we never ban people for any but the most heinous reasons. That might be a bit of a shock after the controlled environment Oliver runs.

J.

When anyone ever says the l... (Below threshold)
jp2:

When anyone ever says the left is vicious, offensive and full of hate - come here to Wizbang for a correction.

Lucky that Bush and Cheney didn't have anyone with them on their multiple DUIs.

Who, on the right, wouldn't... (Below threshold)
Fran:

Who, on the right, wouldn't want to discuss the obvious ghosts of the past...

...it certainly helps me to disregard what Jay has to say about some arguments of today.

Regarding illegal immigrants, as far as I'm concerned the operative word is ILLEGAL.

As far as the politics of illegal immigrants, I suggest that it has been the policies of the right that have allowed 12-20 illegals into the country. I would also suggest that it has been the policies of the left that have sought to extend a legal drivers license, school and other benefits to these people.

Even with the security concerns of 9/11 the GOP and/or business couldn't dissassociate themselves from the opportunity for cheap labor.

Plus, I wonder who in this country is benefitting from an unchecked border and drug trafficking.

The only ones who are taking this debate seriously are 'The Minute Men'. I don't agree with all of their motivations. What I do acknowledge is that it certainly takes alot for the people of this country to act.

Maybe our ability to type is inversley related to our ability to take action.

I see Hillary was addressin... (Below threshold)
Tim:

I see Hillary was addressing some illegals too. Some of the few that haven't gone down on Bill.

Who, on the right, would... (Below threshold)
Proud Kaffir:

Who, on the right, wouldn't want to discuss the obvious ghosts of the past...

I'll remember that one next time the liberals are pouring through a judicial candidate's video rentals, a political candidate's divorce hearing, or a blogger's movie reviews.

Lucky that Bush and Chen... (Below threshold)
Proud Kaffir:

Lucky that Bush and Cheney didn't have anyone with them on their multiple DUIs.

If they had killed someone in such a fashion, they would not be president or vice-president, nor even in Congress.

For those apparently too la... (Below threshold)
B Moe:

For those apparently too lazy to follow the link above:

"- State Police Detective George Killen was the senior officer responsible for the investigation and prosecution of all criminal matters on Cape Cod and the islands. When Medical Examiner Donald Mills called to ask whether or not an autopsy should be performed on Mary Jo Kopechne, Killen told him that if he was satisfied with his diagnosis and there was no evidence of foul play, no autopsy was necessary.

- Mills called undertaker Eugene Frieh and instructed him to go ahead with the embalming. Mills then put the accident at Chappaquiddick out of his mind. He had a baby to deliver at Oak Bluffs Hospital.

- Frieh was surprised no autopsy had been ordered in the case. "I figured there should have been one for three reasons: the type of accident it was; the important people involved; and the fact that insurance companies would be hounding officials over double indemnity claims."
- Frieh began preparing the body for the embalming process. As was customary in drowning cases, a body block was affixed under the diaphragm to provide abdominal compression and thereby remove any water from the lungs and stomach. He observed "a very slight bit of moisture," which he estimated to be less than a tea-cup. "I did raise an eyebrow in the sense that I was expecting much more moisture."
- Because the car had gone over a bridge, Frieh wondered if there might be some injury Dr. Mills had missed during his brief on-scene examination. After a thorough examination, he discovered no bruises or marks on the body, except for a slight abrasion on the left hand knuckle.

- Frieh was beginning to doubt the validity of the medical examiner's diagnosis. The lack of water evacuated from the body was "unusual" in a drowning case. Frieh suspected that instead, the accident victim may have suffocated to death. His observations strongly supported scuba diver John Farrar's theory that Mary Jo Kopechne had survived in the submerged automobile by breathing a pocket of trapped air, and had died by suffocation only after the oxygen had been depleted.

- When Frieh contacted Dr. Mills to suggest he change his finding, the medical examiner told him he "didn't want to cause any problem," and refused to make an independant decision about ordering an autopsy."

It is extremely unlikely she drowned, she suffocated slowly, trapped in a cold, dark car while the worthless son of a bitch started planning his cover story. Anybody that tries to defend Ted Kennedy is beyond vile.

LOL WETBACKS!!!! THAT'S HIL... (Below threshold)
Terrance Hello:

LOL WETBACKS!!!! THAT'S HILLARIOUS!!!!!


OMG TED KENNEDY OMG CHAPPAQUIDDICK OMG

What the FUCK is wrong with you people? Dick Cheney shoots a man and we're told to stop victimising him, Ted Kennedy crashes a car into a river FORTY YEARS AGO in a situation no-one will ever be certain about and you're STILL GOING ON ABOUT IT? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU'RE FUCKING PATHETIC.

Terrance:Harry Whi... (Below threshold)
Jay Tea:

Terrance:

Harry Whittington was given immediate medical attention. Law enforcement and medical personnel were involved immediately in the accident. And upon his release from the hospital, Mr. Whittington said he hold no ill will towards Mr. Cheney.

None of those things were true at Chappaquiddick, and Mr. Kennedy's victim, Mary Jo Kopechne, has been unavailable for comment for almost 37 years.

J.

Damn Jay- "Wetback?" That's... (Below threshold)

Damn Jay- "Wetback?" That's just wrong, and I'm surprised that you even wrote it. Disappointing to someone who agrees with most of what you write.

Yeah- I get it that you were just trying to be funny, but it's just not. It takes an ax to your more reasoned posts on immigration and gives others the opportunity to end any argument you make by calling you a racist. (Expect to hear from Oliver and David in 3...2...1...- and there is no way I can even defend you on this one.)

But maybe you weren't aware that the term you used is just as offensive as some of the vile terms you might call me or hear in a hard core rap video.

Yes, satire and Ted Kennedy bashing is fun, but I hope you would think twice about including racial slurs in your humor in the future. It's a free country, but you are usually more thoughtful than that.

Since we're discussing car ... (Below threshold)
A Hermit:

Since we're discussing car accidents, why don't we hear more about "little accident"?

Oh, I forgot, IOKIYAR....

That's "Laura's little acci... (Below threshold)
A Hermit:

That's "Laura's little accident"...

A Hermit, congratulations o... (Below threshold)
B Moe:

A Hermit, congratulations on proving yourself one of the sorriest idiots on the planet. I cannot believe there are people too stupid to understand the differences in those two events, but apparently the left is full of them.

Yet it's her husband who's ... (Below threshold)
Robert:

Yet it's her husband who's an alcaholic.

God works in mysterious ways.

I live in Dallas, am a hard... (Below threshold)

I live in Dallas, am a hard-core conservative, but I have a little different take on the situation.

First off, I want us to build a double fence from San Diego to the mouth of the Rio Grande and patrol it with soldiers, helicopters, and unmanned spy planes.

However, I have done church work with some who were illegal immigrants, I have seen the conditions of the poor in Ciudad Juarez, and I have to empathize with them. They have no hope over there. If I ask myself what I would do if I lived in such grinding poverty and couldn’t feed my family, I have to say that I would get to the US as quickly as I could.

I’m against blanket amnesty, but once the borders are closed I think that something can be done to assimilate the illegal immigrants into society and make English fluency compulsory in order to gain citizenship. Those who can’t do that should be shipped back down to Mexico where they apply for immigration legally.

Stingray:  a blog for salty Christians




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