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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Tennis star Maria Sharapova at a press conference for the Sony Ericsson Championship


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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» The Daily Brief: A Military Blog For All The World To See And Read linked with Caption This One (060512)

Comments (104)

15-love... (Below threshold)
sentinel:

15-love

Ummmm, sure....I'll be your... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Ummmm, sure....I'll be your ball girl.....

"ooooh...right here?, right... (Below threshold)
markm:

"ooooh...right here?, right now???...k"

Wow! I mean I can see where... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

Wow! I mean I can see where it may be a problem, but the rules clearly state no part of your body can touch the net. I'd be happy to clarify this for you later tonight.

"Look at his eyes...look at... (Below threshold)

"Look at his eyes...look at his eyes...."

"Well its big... but McEnro... (Below threshold)

"Well its big... but McEnroe is a bigger one."

Love Stinks... (Below threshold)

Love Stinks

Ball Boy try-outs continue ... (Below threshold)
Tango:

Ball Boy try-outs continue for the US Open. Here in the shorts competition, a contestant tries to remain bulgeless and composed as a judge gives him a "What if I were panty-less scenario."

And, is every shot a "power... (Below threshold)

And, is every shot a "power shot"?

Yum! Nice, but I still pref... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Yum! Nice, but I still prefer playing doubles with Serena.

Would you like some Aural S... (Below threshold)
billburz:

Would you like some Aural Sex!

In lieu of the traditional ... (Below threshold)

In lieu of the traditional ball boys, Ericsson introduces a new innovation to the women's game: "ballMEN".

"Uh, sir ... down in front.... (Below threshold)
jim:

"Uh, sir ... down in front."

Could you tell us again abo... (Below threshold)
HankF:

Could you tell us again about your groundstroke, and how often it results in a winner?

Yes, quite impressive. It'... (Below threshold)
Guido:

Yes, quite impressive. It's probably the biggest one I've seen since that time I saw Martina Navratilova naked in the locker room.

"Ummm, Nike's only a sponso... (Below threshold)

"Ummm, Nike's only a sponsor, I don't just do it."

"Tell me about your racket ... (Below threshold)

"Tell me about your racket again."

"As I was saying, my new design consists of the shaft, throat and the head. At ball impact the mechanical energy produced is transformed into an electrical response making the racket stiffen."

Pictured: Hillary Clinton's... (Below threshold)
JimK:

Pictured: Hillary Clinton's assistant pre-screening interns for the Senator's potential Presidential run.

Martina: "What do you mean ... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

Martina: "What do you mean 'Am I into handcuffs'?"

"can you believe it, last n... (Below threshold)
markm:

"can you believe it, last night a ball boy nailed me with a looper right here!"


sorry

"It's Tawooo, It's Tawoo... (Below threshold)
HeyMike:

"It's Tawooo, It's Tawooo!

Male porn star J-Load at au... (Below threshold)
Norm:

Male porn star J-Load at auditions for the upcoming porn movie "Super Slam".

Were you aware that "Sharap... (Below threshold)

Were you aware that "Sharapova" in English means "suck the chrome off a trailer hitch"?

It's a pleasure to meet you... (Below threshold)

It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Mauresmo...

Hmmmmmm. Do I risk tennis ... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Hmmmmmm. Do I risk tennis elbow on this guy?

What I said Ma'am, was, "do... (Below threshold)
Spike:

What I said Ma'am, was, "do you hold two balls when your serve?" (Wink)

....when you serve....... (Below threshold)
Spike:

....when you serve....

SIC

"Everyone knows, you idiot,... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

"Everyone knows, you idiot, that I only play with balls on the tennis court..never in the bedroom!"

In a new development, Bill ... (Below threshold)
lakestate:

In a new development, Bill Clinton tried out for ball boy at the U.S. Open Tennis Tournament.

(Continuing in the same gen... (Below threshold)
Maggie:

(Continuing in the same genre..)

"No, I don't want to see your racket and balls...your equipment doesn't interest me."

No sir, I don't know why so... (Below threshold)
Jim in Harrisburg:

No sir, I don't know why some people think Jenny McCarthy looks like Madonna either.

Yes, Miss Sharapova, I thin... (Below threshold)
Weegie:

Yes, Miss Sharapova, I think you'd appreciate my equipment and find my volleys quite satisfactory.

new this summer for celeb-r... (Below threshold)

new this summer for celeb-reality on VH1 is American Schlong, celebrities judging average peoples members.

No that's not him. The one ... (Below threshold)

No that's not him. The one the patrolman brought me to entertain had a left leaning one, and this one leans right.

"Yes, I can get my heels ba... (Below threshold)

"Yes, I can get my heels back to about here -- why do you ask?"

This will most certainly re... (Below threshold)
Doug:

This will most certainly require my two handed grip

"Yes the head is bigger, wi... (Below threshold)

"Yes the head is bigger, with an improved grip, and excellent recoil... uh we're still talking about rackets, right?"

"Oh-h-h m-m-my....ah, I can... (Below threshold)
Kirk:

"Oh-h-h m-m-my....ah, I can meet you for lunch."

Man: It's shrinkage I tell ... (Below threshold)
Mighty Dwight:

Man: It's shrinkage I tell you, shrinkage. I was in the pool...I was in the pool!

They are always so perfect ... (Below threshold)
bcb:

They are always so perfect until I get to the face!

Whoa, I guess you can tickl... (Below threshold)
Veeshir:

Whoa, I guess you can tickle your chin without using your hands.

What? I certainly will NOT ... (Below threshold)
bungaloebill:

What? I certainly will NOT hanging a sweat band on it!

Hmm..which one will I put i... (Below threshold)

Hmm..which one will I put in my pocket and which one will I hit...

No maam. I know I look like... (Below threshold)

No maam. I know I look like him, but I swear my name is "Mighty Dwight", not "Jay Tea".

Big muscles, big nose, big ... (Below threshold)

Big muscles, big nose, big feet, big arms, big...oh...nevermind, you can leave now.

There once was a lady in th... (Below threshold)
robert:

There once was a lady in the news
Who rarely, if ever, would lose.
But when she interviewed boys
As prospects for toys
She was looking a little higher than the shoes.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, YE... (Below threshold)
kev:

"No, no, no, no, no, no, YES! No, no, no, no, YES! No, YES! No, no, no, YES! No, no, no, no, no, no --

--

--

--

YE-EE-ESSSSS!!!"

Hmmmm."I love doub... (Below threshold)
ed:

Hmmmm.

"I love double-time march!"

lol.

Well, your ball handling sk... (Below threshold)
Scott:

Well, your ball handling skills are certainly impressive. How is your stamina?

"Who said you have to be a ... (Below threshold)

"Who said you have to be a Marine Corp doctor to conduct a short-arm inspection?"

"Would you mind scampering ... (Below threshold)
Cheddar:

"Would you mind scampering after a tennis ball so, I, mmm, ahh, can get a feel for your dexterity?"

"That's very impressive, bu... (Below threshold)
Cheddar:

"That's very impressive, but now what am I going to drink out of?"

"It states here on your res... (Below threshold)
Window Dressing:

"It states here on your resume that you are a 'self starter' but I had no idea!"

Maria Sparapova is taking i... (Below threshold)
stan25:

Maria Sparapova is taking interviews for a 3 a.m. cabana boy

"You must be from Warsaw, '... (Below threshold)

"You must be from Warsaw, 'cause I've never seen such a Pole."

"Oh my...."... (Below threshold)
No One of Consequence:

"Oh my...."

Hello. Nein dizbatcher says... (Below threshold)
Wally6500:

Hello. Nein dizbatcher says zere
iss problem mit deine kable.

Well, I know the NFL has at... (Below threshold)
cagey1:

Well, I know the NFL has athletes "miked up" for their games, but are you sure that's the best place for YOU to keep a mike? Reverb can be a bitch.

Bart: "'scuse me while I wh... (Below threshold)

Bart: "'scuse me while I whip this out."
Crowd: "Ahhhhh."
-- Blazing Saddles

The handcuffs were tasteful... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

The handcuffs were tasteful and understated, but his stance was still not that of a truly dutiful slave.

Thank you, we're finished h... (Below threshold)
otherwise:

Thank you, we're finished here. And take that thing with you.

I'm sure you realize that b... (Below threshold)
Vegas Vic:

I'm sure you realize that being an assistant for Congresswoman McKinney that you will be required to Duck and weave as well as Run and fetch?

Some Ph.D candidates find t... (Below threshold)
McCain:

Some Ph.D candidates find that oral examinations are a hard experience.

Uh, excuse me sir, but did ... (Below threshold)
P. Herold:

Uh, excuse me sir, but did you know your fly is open?

..and then Simon, in his us... (Below threshold)
McCain:

..and then Simon, in his usual witty yet petulant style, suggested that no white man will ever make it to the finals of the American Wiener.

Sorry Martina, nice try tho... (Below threshold)
CZ:

Sorry Martina, nice try tho'!

"Miss Sharapova, your word ... (Below threshold)
ken:

"Miss Sharapova, your word is 'gargantuan'."

"Can I have that used in my bedroo...errr, in a sentence, please?"

"Give me your best lob shot... (Below threshold)
Norm:

"Give me your best lob shot" said the deucebag.

I'm sorry, even if you did ... (Below threshold)
pupolet:

I'm sorry, even if you did have a sex change, you still don't qualify for the women's only tournament!

"I'm A Winner, Are You?"</p... (Below threshold)

"I'm A Winner, Are You?"

In an effort to boost TV ra... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

In an effort to boost TV ratings, officials interview male models to get the other gay demographic to watch tennis.

"Just because you put your ... (Below threshold)
Papa Smurf:

"Just because you put your name tag there doesn't mean I have to look at it."

Hummena, hummena, hummena..... (Below threshold)
FormerHostage:

Hummena, hummena, hummena...

And how do you get the w... (Below threshold)

And how do you get the wheelbarrow to turn sharp corners?

It's how big?... (Below threshold)
Rupla:

It's how big?

I was so happy to read this... (Below threshold)
Big D:

I was so happy to read this post, to realize finally I AM NOT ALONE. Thanks.

What is it with the left these days? I worked in the Carter campaign long ago. I used to frequently vote for Democrats. But somehow, after the first four years of Clinton, the Democrats simply stopped being credible on any issue. I think it sorta crystallized during the Monica Lewinsky scandal, but I am not completely sure. After that, well, it has just been all down hill for the left.

I frequently disagree with the Republicans, but sheesh, at least I feel I am listening to adults discuss issues in a rational way. I no longer feel that way at all about the Democrats.

For example, on Iraq, there was a good case for going in, and a good case for not going in. Only the opponents of the Iraq war never made the rational case against the war. The Republicans are frequently winning purely by default.

You know you don't have to ... (Below threshold)
Jim:

You know you don't have to act with me, Steve. You don't have to say anything, and you don't have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow.

"What hass its gots in its ... (Below threshold)

"What hass its gots in its pocketses?"

"So you're the best?"... (Below threshold)

"So you're the best?"
"D@mn straight."

"So how would you like it s... (Below threshold)

"So how would you like it signed?"

Maria: So why does your Joh... (Below threshold)
Mighty Dwight:

Maria: So why does your Johnson have a tatoo that says "SEC"? You a Gators fan?

Man: No Ma'am, it's a temporary Sponsors Ad

Maria: Sponsors Ad?

Man: Yes Ma'am, when fully extended it reads "Sony Ericsson Championship"

No, that's a microphone in ... (Below threshold)
ech:

No, that's a microphone in front of me, not a reference model with a condom on ....

Sven was so macho that the ... (Below threshold)
Imhotep:

Sven was so macho that the judges gave him 1st and 3rd place in the masterbation contest!

Do these shorts make me loo... (Below threshold)
Steve:

Do these shorts make me look fat?

Sir- I don't care if they a... (Below threshold)

Sir- I don't care if they are white and fuzzy. We can't use them on the court. You're gonna have to put them away.

So? You want to attend Duke... (Below threshold)
virgo:

So? You want to attend Duke ehh! first you will have to provide us with a DNA sample.

"You needn't say a word. I'... (Below threshold)
Rachel Edith:

"You needn't say a word. I'm hearing you ... powerfully and fully."

"It's where I hang the towe... (Below threshold)
MunDane:

"It's where I hang the towel, ma'am."

When I said, "Stand at ease... (Below threshold)
Harvey:

When I said, "Stand at ease" I meant all of you.

"Yes, that'll do do just fi... (Below threshold)

"Yes, that'll do do just fine for practicing my double-handed grip. Room 802 at 7:00?"

Don't stand there and tell ... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Don't stand there and tell me that you didn't just fart!

"How do you get it way up o... (Below threshold)

"How do you get it way up over your head like that?"

Game...Set...MATCH!... (Below threshold)
Mr. Otis A. Block:

Game...Set...MATCH!

"You Have A Dropped Shot On... (Below threshold)

"You Have A Dropped Shot On Your Shorts."

That's what the ad said, we... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

That's what the ad said, we ARE looking for ball boys.......you don't know anything about tennis, do you?

I am sorry, young man, but ... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

I am sorry, young man, but it doesn't eliminate your illegal alien status by having only PART of your body in the United States.

"Sometimes I'm sooo ... (Below threshold)

"Sometimes I'm sooo grateful for the collapse of communism."

... (Below threshold)
John Kerry:

"HunkyDorrie"

My oh My, Do You have a per... (Below threshold)
John Kerry:

My oh My, Do You have a permit to carry that thing?

"Inches or Centimeters?"</p... (Below threshold)
Rodney Dill:

"Inches or Centimeters?"

"At First Glance It Looked ... (Below threshold)

"At First Glance It Looked Like A Zipper Pull."

Hey, wait a minute.<p... (Below threshold)

Hey, wait a minute.

I thought illegal immigrants were supposed to do the jobs Americans DIDN'T want to do...!@#?

"Foot Fault! Well if it rea... (Below threshold)

"Foot Fault! Well if it really is that long."

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.




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