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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin
Published: June 2, 2006 - 7:00 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Chef Jeff Zellner of Denny's Beer Barrell hoists one of the establishment's record-breaking burgers in the kitchen in Clearfield, Pennsylvania, in May 2005. European lawmakers adopted new laws on food labels aimed at fighting obesity by ensuring that consumers are warned about high levels of sugar, fat and salt in products.(AFP/Getty Images/File/Jeff Swensen)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.

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Comments (112)

Anybody want to take bets o... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Lorie Byrd | June 2, 2006 7:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lorie Byrd:

Anybody want to take bets on how many submissions include Michael Moore's name?

1. Posted by Lorie Byrd | June 2, 2006 7:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:20

We'll call this the "Big Al... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by billburz | June 2, 2006 7:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
billburz:

We'll call this the "Big Al". Guess the Carbon Footprint, pre and post eating!

2. Posted by billburz | June 2, 2006 7:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:22

Would you like fries with t... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Steve | June 2, 2006 7:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve:

Would you like fries with that?

3. Posted by Steve | June 2, 2006 7:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:26

After reading the reports o... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Faith+1 | June 2, 2006 7:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

After reading the reports of a national obesity problem high schooler Josh Bransen said, "Screw the fat police, Super Size Me!"

4. Posted by Faith+1 | June 2, 2006 7:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:40

DRUDGEBREAKING: While excav... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 7:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

DRUDGEBREAKING: While excavations at the Hidden Dreams horse farm didn't yield any new evidence of Jimmy Hoffa's remains, new theories have surfaced as to the disposition of the former Teamster.

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 7:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:50

"...and your Diet Coke will... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 7:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"...and your Diet Coke will be right up..."

(since Steve took the fries caption)

6. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 7:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:51

Hmmmm.Michael Moor... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by ed | June 2, 2006 7:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
ed:

Hmmmm.

Michael Moore: Uuuuggggghhhhhhhaaarrrrggghhhhh!

7. Posted by ed | June 2, 2006 7:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:52

"I will gladly pay you Tues... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by J-Ho | June 2, 2006 7:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
J-Ho:

"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

8. Posted by J-Ho | June 2, 2006 7:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:59

"In Soviet Russia, burger e... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by kev | June 2, 2006 8:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kev:

"In Soviet Russia, burger eats YOU!!"

9. Posted by kev | June 2, 2006 8:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:09

So big that I had to have m... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Sinner | June 2, 2006 8:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sinner:

So big that I had to have my jaw wired back together!

10. Posted by Sinner | June 2, 2006 8:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:10

It's called the "Ted Kenned... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 2, 2006 8:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

It's called the "Ted Kennedy" burger. If eating it doesn't kill you, you will wish you were dead.

11. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 2, 2006 8:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:16

Arteries too soft? We have ... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Weegie | June 2, 2006 8:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Weegie:

Arteries too soft? We have the cure!

12. Posted by Weegie | June 2, 2006 8:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:16

Hold the cheese.... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by elvis | June 2, 2006 8:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
elvis:

Hold the cheese.

13. Posted by elvis | June 2, 2006 8:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:34

Morgan Spurlock is a pussy!... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Mike | June 2, 2006 8:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mike:

Morgan Spurlock is a pussy!

14. Posted by Mike | June 2, 2006 8:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:34

Uh waiter, I thought I told... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by DJ | June 2, 2006 8:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DJ:

Uh waiter, I thought I told you I wanted the large cheeseburger.

15. Posted by DJ | June 2, 2006 8:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:46

One all beef patty, cheese,... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Jay | June 2, 2006 8:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jay:

One all beef patty, cheese, special sauce, lettuce, pickles on a... hey! Where are the sesame seeds? I'm sending it back.

16. Posted by Jay | June 2, 2006 8:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:48

The EU sets standards for p... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by Imhotep | June 2, 2006 8:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Imhotep:

The EU sets standards for portion control, but they failed to control the number of facial piercings in the Chef!

If the fat from the food doesn't kill you, the Hepatitis C from the wait staff will.

17. Posted by Imhotep | June 2, 2006 8:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:58

WASHINGTON -- Democratic Le... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 2, 2006 9:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

WASHINGTON -- Democratic Leader Jerrold (The Waddler) Nadler accepted free Hardees Thickburgers® while that restaurant was trying to influence him on federal food regulations.

He defended the gifts, saying they would never influence his position and was simply trying to learn how his legislation might affect an important home state industry.

"I love the burgers anyways, so it wasn't like being punished," added Nadler, a former competitive eater.

18. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 2, 2006 9:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:05

Disciples prepare for Hajj ... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Tango | June 2, 2006 9:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tango:

Disciples prepare for Hajj to Graceland with offerings that are said to be pleasing to the deceased King.

19. Posted by Tango | June 2, 2006 9:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:06

Macdonald's unveil's it's n... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Norm | June 2, 2006 9:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm:

Macdonald's unveil's it's new Quarter-Tonner with Cheese Burger. Not available in for Take-Out or Drive-Thru.

20. Posted by Norm | June 2, 2006 9:07 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:07

You say you can't fit it in... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by pedrovex | June 2, 2006 9:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
pedrovex:

You say you can't fit it in your mouth...thats okay, its a Suppository hamburger.

21. Posted by pedrovex | June 2, 2006 9:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:24

It's the latest offshore de... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Mac Lorry | June 2, 2006 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mac Lorry:

It's the latest offshore design. The BBC's "Americans are pigs" refrain has gotten a lot of traction.

22. Posted by Mac Lorry | June 2, 2006 9:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:28

And now for our Piece de re... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Ozone64 | June 2, 2006 9:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ozone64:

And now for our Piece de resistance. Our 10 lb Heart Attack Burger with a side order of Massive Coronary.

23. Posted by Ozone64 | June 2, 2006 9:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:36

and if I think there one of... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by yetanotherjohn | June 2, 2006 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

and if I think there one of Bushitler's little Eichmans, I spit on it before I take it out to them.

24. Posted by yetanotherjohn | June 2, 2006 9:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:37

I will gladly pay you on Th... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by EdMcGon | June 2, 2006 9:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
EdMcGon:

I will gladly pay you on Thursday for a hamburger today...

25. Posted by EdMcGon | June 2, 2006 9:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:38

The new Alvin Hevesi burger... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by yetanotherjohn | June 2, 2006 9:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

The new Alvin Hevesi burger. If you can open your mouth wide enough to get a bite of this, you'll have no trouble inserting your foot.

http://www.wnbc.com/politics/9306297/detail.html

26. Posted by yetanotherjohn | June 2, 2006 9:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:40

You just know that kid spit... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Takefive | June 2, 2006 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Takefive:

You just know that kid spit on that burger!

27. Posted by Takefive | June 2, 2006 9:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:43

Here's your appetizer Mr. M... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Tim Murphy | June 2, 2006 9:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tim Murphy:

Here's your appetizer Mr. Moore.

28. Posted by Tim Murphy | June 2, 2006 9:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:51

______GUTCHECK_______... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 9:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

______GUTCHECK_______
__________________BURP!

29. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 9:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:56

Percy the Punkster says, "H... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Charlie Earl | June 2, 2006 9:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Charlie Earl:

Percy the Punkster says, "Hey Kos, here's your PETA burger!

30. Posted by Charlie Earl | June 2, 2006 9:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:57

"That's a lotta dimp."... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by sentinel | June 2, 2006 9:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
sentinel:

"That's a lotta dimp."

31. Posted by sentinel | June 2, 2006 9:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:57

"Special Orders Don't Up Se... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

"Special Orders Don't Up Set Us."

32. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:00

Here's your sacrificed "Mar... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Vegas Vic | June 2, 2006 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Vegas Vic:

Here's your sacrificed "Marine-on- a- bun" Mr. Murtha. Would you like a side of Hypocrisy with you order?

33. Posted by Vegas Vic | June 2, 2006 10:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:09

Seconds Mr. Moore?... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

Seconds Mr. Moore?

34. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:11

Delivery order to PETA head... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Robert | June 2, 2006 10:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Robert:

Delivery order to PETA headquarters - It will be there in 30 min or its free.

35. Posted by Robert | June 2, 2006 10:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:13

Johnny Coldcuts, a frequent... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Rube | June 2, 2006 10:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rube:

Johnny Coldcuts, a frequent contributor to the Freddy Mercury fan-site "Ace of Spades HQ", seen here being 'fisted' by comedian David Spade in preparation for next month's Cornhole Classic.

36. Posted by Rube | June 2, 2006 10:15 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:15

"Services Will Be Held Foll... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

"Services Will Be Held Following The Meal."

37. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:20

"Have it your way...but wit... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Master Shake:

"Have it your way...but with spit!"

38. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:20

Care for some Eminem's with... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

Care for some Eminem's with Your burger?

39. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:21

"WARNING: Burger may conta... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Master Shake:

"WARNING: Burger may contain misplaced body piercings"

40. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:22

He thought having his lips ... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by BlogDog | June 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BlogDog:

He thought having his lips staples together was a good idea. But he ordered the megaburger anyway.

41. Posted by BlogDog | June 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:23

Sorry: make that "stapled" ... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by BlogDog | June 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BlogDog:

Sorry: make that "stapled" instead of "staples."

42. Posted by BlogDog | June 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:23

"Behold! The PETA Burger."... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Master Shake:

"Behold! The PETA Burger."

43. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:24

"The Littlest Fry Cook"... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Master Shake:

"The Littlest Fry Cook"

44. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:27

"And For Sixty More Cents W... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

"And For Sixty More Cents We Can Super Size It!"

45. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:34

Dessert? A ten pound Ex-La... (Below threshold)

46. Posted by Big E | June 2, 2006 10:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Big E:

Dessert? A ten pound Ex-Lax brownie washed down with a 44oz Alka Seltzer Big Gulp.

46. Posted by Big E | June 2, 2006 10:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:38

Free Stents With Every Orde... (Below threshold)

47. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

Free Stents With Every Order..

47. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:38

Bud light presents...... (Below threshold)

48. Posted by Faith+1 | June 2, 2006 10:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

Bud light presents...

Thank you Mr. Guargantuan Heart Attack On Plate Burger Maker....

48. Posted by Faith+1 | June 2, 2006 10:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:46

Steak & Shake's new Hot & S... (Below threshold)

49. Posted by Tim | June 2, 2006 10:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tim:

Steak & Shake's new Hot & Spicey Enormo Burger weighs in at a whopping 2 lbs and is only $1. Can you handle it for just a buck?



*$17.50 with drink

49. Posted by Tim | June 2, 2006 10:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:50

"WARNING>>>>Constructed By ... (Below threshold)

50. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 11:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

"WARNING>>>>Constructed By The U.S. Army Corps Of Engineers!"

50. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 11:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 11:10

From Pierce Punkster to Al ... (Below threshold)

51. Posted by SILVER BULLET | June 2, 2006 11:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SILVER BULLET:

From Pierce Punkster to Al Gore: "I've got your global warming right here! Enjoy the special spit sauce!"

51. Posted by SILVER BULLET | June 2, 2006 11:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 11:18

In Pennsylvania today, they... (Below threshold)

52. Posted by Rachel Edith | June 2, 2006 11:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rachel Edith:

In Pennsylvania today, they finally found Jimmy Hoffa.

52. Posted by Rachel Edith | June 2, 2006 11:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 11:42

When President Clinton drea... (Below threshold)

53. Posted by Peter F. | June 2, 2006 12:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.:

When President Clinton dreams.

53. Posted by Peter F. | June 2, 2006 12:04 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 12:04

Also comes with your choice... (Below threshold)

54. Posted by Peter F. | June 2, 2006 12:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.:

Also comes with your choice of string or waffle fries, soda and a side order of Lipitor.

54. Posted by Peter F. | June 2, 2006 12:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 12:05

"20,000 calories and 1: an ... (Below threshold)

55. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 12:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

"20,000 calories and 1: an arterie clogging oddyssey."

55. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 12:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 12:13

Rosie O'Donnell was briefly... (Below threshold)

56. Posted by MunDane | June 2, 2006 12:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MunDane:

Rosie O'Donnell was briefly upest as she said she wanted "Peppermint Patty on a bed of lettuce", but the light snack was nice.

56. Posted by MunDane | June 2, 2006 12:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 12:13

PINCUSHION, super-star of t... (Below threshold)

57. Posted by John | June 2, 2006 12:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John:

PINCUSHION, super-star of the dwarf-tossing circuit, holds down a regular job in the off season.

57. Posted by John | June 2, 2006 12:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 12:34

... Life takes determinatio... (Below threshold)

58. Posted by scotty | June 2, 2006 12:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scotty:

... Life takes determination. Life takes Visa. Well, guess what? The hospital takes Visa too.

58. Posted by scotty | June 2, 2006 12:59 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 12:59

(alternative version of sam... (Below threshold)

59. Posted by scotty | June 2, 2006 1:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scotty:

(alternative version of same Visa commercial)

... Life takes determination. This burger takes life...

59. Posted by scotty | June 2, 2006 1:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 13:00

As an aside, I ate one of t... (Below threshold)

60. Posted by scotty | June 2, 2006 1:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scotty:

As an aside, I ate one of those monsters a few years ago, back when young and dumb. 6 lbs of beef (uncooked). Took me 41 minutes. Got the T-shirt, etc. Spent the rest of the car trip rubbing my belly and wondering what the hell I was thinking.

But that wasn't the thing. The waitress told me when I was done that the *record* was held by a trucker who ate one in *6* minutes. Then ordered another. Ate it in *30* minutes. Then had a whole apple pie for dessert.

60. Posted by scotty | June 2, 2006 1:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 13:03

I said "TO Go!"... (Below threshold)

61. Posted by Steve | June 2, 2006 1:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve:

I said "TO Go!"

61. Posted by Steve | June 2, 2006 1:10 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 13:10

"Constructed By The U.S. Ar... (Below threshold)

62. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 1:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

"Constructed By The U.S. Army Corps Of Engineers, Some Arteries May Fail."

62. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 1:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 13:14

Be still my beating heart..... (Below threshold)

63. Posted by tarheelcon | June 2, 2006 1:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tarheelcon:

Be still my beating heart...

63. Posted by tarheelcon | June 2, 2006 1:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 13:20

In order to compensate for ... (Below threshold)

64. Posted by Jimmy the Dhimmi | June 2, 2006 1:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jimmy the Dhimmi:

In order to compensate for the lack of cheap labor after the government clamp-down on illegal immigration, McDonalds has resorted to hiring teenage scandinavian midgets.

64. Posted by Jimmy the Dhimmi | June 2, 2006 1:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 13:22

A burger so big, you can't ... (Below threshold)

65. Posted by LJD | June 2, 2006 1:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
LJD:

A burger so big, you can't eat it without some metal shit hanging out of your face.

65. Posted by LJD | June 2, 2006 1:29 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 13:29

Yes, Mr. Clinton, from your... (Below threshold)

66. Posted by DOUG BOOK | June 2, 2006 2:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DOUG BOOK:

Yes, Mr. Clinton, from your wife again. Say, you don't look so good!

66. Posted by DOUG BOOK | June 2, 2006 2:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 14:01

Yes, a defibrillator is inc... (Below threshold)

67. Posted by La Mano | June 2, 2006 2:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
La Mano:

Yes, a defibrillator is included.

67. Posted by La Mano | June 2, 2006 2:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 14:02

Hold the mayo.... (Below threshold)

68. Posted by La Mano | June 2, 2006 2:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
La Mano:

Hold the mayo.

68. Posted by La Mano | June 2, 2006 2:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 14:05

Introducing my new hamburge... (Below threshold)

69. Posted by Pamela Anderson | June 2, 2006 2:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pamela Anderson:

Introducing my new hamburger, "The Tommy Lee."

69. Posted by Pamela Anderson | June 2, 2006 2:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 14:08

Michael Moore is sued for $... (Below threshold)

70. Posted by McCain | June 2, 2006 2:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Michael Moore is sued for $85 million dollars, plus his lunch.

70. Posted by McCain | June 2, 2006 2:10 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 14:10

Burger King introduces a ne... (Below threshold)

71. Posted by McCain | June 2, 2006 2:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Burger King introduces a new low-carb burger for the diet-conscious crowd.

71. Posted by McCain | June 2, 2006 2:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 14:16

Hey Kid, take some good fin... (Below threshold)

72. Posted by TripleHeadedHydra | June 2, 2006 2:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
TripleHeadedHydra:

Hey Kid, take some good financial advice, bring that thing home and stick it under Your bed! in 6 years or so You can sell it on Ebay as Bin Ladens petrified bowel movement, which was found in the caves of Tora Bora. got it kid! good.

72. Posted by TripleHeadedHydra | June 2, 2006 2:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 14:17

A gift from the DNC to Howa... (Below threshold)

73. Posted by Norm | June 2, 2006 2:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm:

A gift from the DNC to Howard Dean. The card reads: "this should keep your big pie hole busy for a while. Now eat till its all done."

73. Posted by Norm | June 2, 2006 2:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 14:57

"Well, we used to call it t... (Below threshold)

74. Posted by JimK | June 2, 2006 3:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JimK:

"Well, we used to call it the Al Roker. Then we switched it to the Star Jones, but she got skinny too. For awhile it was the Janet Jackson, but you know how that turned out. We're thinking of going back to the original name: The Nicole Ritchie. She wasn't always anorexic you know."

74. Posted by JimK | June 2, 2006 3:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 15:02

Warning: object in mirror i... (Below threshold)

75. Posted by OregonMuse | June 2, 2006 3:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OregonMuse:

Warning: object in mirror is closer than it appears

75. Posted by OregonMuse | June 2, 2006 3:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 15:48

"But it looks so unnatural.... (Below threshold)

76. Posted by OregonMuse | June 2, 2006 3:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OregonMuse:

"But it looks so unnatural. And that burger's kinda freaky, too."

76. Posted by OregonMuse | June 2, 2006 3:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 15:50

Scooby Snack... (Below threshold)

77. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 3:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Scooby Snack

77. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 3:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 15:52

"McDonalds presents the bra... (Below threshold)

78. Posted by Seixon | June 2, 2006 3:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Seixon:

"McDonalds presents the brand new McDie"

78. Posted by Seixon | June 2, 2006 3:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 15:57

"...and a liter of cola."</... (Below threshold)

79. Posted by Maureen | June 2, 2006 4:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maureen:

"...and a liter of cola."

79. Posted by Maureen | June 2, 2006 4:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 16:05

Oh-Oh!This is sure t... (Below threshold)

80. Posted by Ken | June 2, 2006 4:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ken:

Oh-Oh!
This is sure to reignite discussions about focal lengths, circles of confusion, and analog vs. digital, auto vs. manual feeblebletzer settings.

80. Posted by Ken | June 2, 2006 4:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 16:09

And a billion Indians wept.... (Below threshold)

81. Posted by Brad Warbiany | June 2, 2006 4:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brad Warbiany:

And a billion Indians wept...

81. Posted by Brad Warbiany | June 2, 2006 4:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 16:30

Introducing the new Whopper... (Below threshold)

82. Posted by Ed | June 2, 2006 5:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ed:

Introducing the new Whopper called " The Hillary " burger.

82. Posted by Ed | June 2, 2006 5:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 17:00

Hi My names Ernie and Im Yo... (Below threshold)

83. Posted by CurlyLarryMoe | June 2, 2006 5:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
CurlyLarryMoe:

Hi My names Ernie and Im Your busboy!want a burger? I made it myself!OH BY THE WAY im also infected with Hepatitis B.

83. Posted by CurlyLarryMoe | June 2, 2006 5:00 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 17:00

Wanting to reinvigorate slo... (Below threshold)

84. Posted by FormerHostage | June 2, 2006 5:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FormerHostage:

Wanting to reinvigorate slow sales, McDonalds introduces it's newest character incarnation:
"The Extreme Hamburgler"

84. Posted by FormerHostage | June 2, 2006 5:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 17:49

I got liiiipppsss,... (Below threshold)

85. Posted by FormerHostage | June 2, 2006 5:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FormerHostage:

I got liiiipppsss,
that jingle, jangle, jingle...

85. Posted by FormerHostage | June 2, 2006 5:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 17:50

Bet ya can't eat just one.<... (Below threshold)

86. Posted by smitty | June 2, 2006 6:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
smitty:

Bet ya can't eat just one.

86. Posted by smitty | June 2, 2006 6:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 18:20

Pork, Who needs Pork...... (Below threshold)

87. Posted by BigBird | June 2, 2006 6:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BigBird:

Pork, Who needs Pork...

87. Posted by BigBird | June 2, 2006 6:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 18:35

That'll do til you bring me... (Below threshold)

88. Posted by capitano | June 2, 2006 9:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
capitano:

That'll do til you bring me what I ordered -- a 100/100. -- and we will be counting to make sure.

88. Posted by capitano | June 2, 2006 9:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 21:43

Galahad Peller, great-grand... (Below threshold)

89. Posted by No One of Consequence | June 2, 2006 10:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No One of Consequence:

Galahad Peller, great-grandson of Clara Peller, brings an end to her long quest.

-or-

PETA Not-So-Original Movies presents: "Little Shop of Horrors II: White Castle"

89. Posted by No One of Consequence | June 2, 2006 10:15 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 22:15

Mr. Madden, Heres the Walla... (Below threshold)

90. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

Mr. Madden, Heres the Wallapalooza ordeurve You ordered! did You want a bucket of gravy with it as well? hmmmphhh$&*&%$$ Oh Im sorry You cant talk with Your mouth full..

90. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 22:30

Salome asked for his head, ... (Below threshold)

91. Posted by Teflon | June 3, 2006 12:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Teflon:

Salome asked for his head, and thus was Mayor McCheese martyred.

91. Posted by Teflon | June 3, 2006 12:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 00:36

Burger King's new Pound of ... (Below threshold)

92. Posted by Pristine Apostle | June 3, 2006 2:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pristine Apostle:

Burger King's new Pound of Flesh Whopper, made from fresh panda meat.

92. Posted by Pristine Apostle | June 3, 2006 2:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 02:39

"Uh, excuse me no, I said D... (Below threshold)

93. Posted by Adjustah | June 3, 2006 9:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Adjustah:

"Uh, excuse me no, I said DIET coke..."

93. Posted by Adjustah | June 3, 2006 9:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 09:47

Wedding souvenir from the A... (Below threshold)

94. Posted by Adjustah | June 3, 2006 9:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Adjustah:

Wedding souvenir from the Arnold/Barr wedding '90...

94. Posted by Adjustah | June 3, 2006 9:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 09:53

Try our delicious new "Sand... (Below threshold)

95. Posted by guido | June 3, 2006 11:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
guido:

Try our delicious new "Sandy Berger".
If you can stuff the whole thing down your pants (accidentally, of course), then it's absolutely free!

95. Posted by guido | June 3, 2006 11:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 11:46

Denny's Beer Barrel is nami... (Below threshold)

96. Posted by Maggie | June 3, 2006 1:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maggie:

Denny's Beer Barrel is naming its most popular dishes after infamous political figures. First it was "Chili Hillary" and now "Bubba's Burger".

96. Posted by Maggie | June 3, 2006 1:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 13:12

Fear factor challenge: Alri... (Below threshold)

97. Posted by virgo | June 3, 2006 1:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

Fear factor challenge: Alright Guys You've got 2 minutes to choke down this monster!and chase it down with a pitcher of Beer.
The winner gets $50,000 and a voucher for free gastric bypass surgery.

97. Posted by virgo | June 3, 2006 1:45 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 13:45

"Hey, Star Jones? Forget ab... (Below threshold)

98. Posted by Steve Doherty Jr. | June 3, 2006 1:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve Doherty Jr.:

"Hey, Star Jones? Forget about that
'light in the loafers' husband of yours
and come back to the dark side!"

98. Posted by Steve Doherty Jr. | June 3, 2006 1:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 13:49

moo... (Below threshold)

99. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 3, 2006 2:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

moo

99. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 3, 2006 2:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 14:52

Hey Kid, You forgot the Anc... (Below threshold)

100. Posted by virgo | June 3, 2006 3:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

Hey Kid, You forgot the Anchovies!

100. Posted by virgo | June 3, 2006 3:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 15:35

Tonight on "60 Minutes", we... (Below threshold)

101. Posted by OregonMuse | June 3, 2006 5:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OregonMuse:

Tonight on "60 Minutes", we'll go undercover to take a look at what the city of New York did with King Kong.

101. Posted by OregonMuse | June 3, 2006 5:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 17:43

Cow...It's whats for dinner... (Below threshold)

102. Posted by Doug | June 3, 2006 6:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Doug:

Cow...It's whats for dinner.

102. Posted by Doug | June 3, 2006 6:58 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 18:58

The 21st century American A... (Below threshold)

103. Posted by Tom Feral | June 3, 2006 8:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Feral:

The 21st century American Appetizer. AKA The Cow Pie.

103. Posted by Tom Feral | June 3, 2006 8:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 20:25

Speilberg unveils the new m... (Below threshold)

104. Posted by smitty | June 3, 2006 8:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
smitty:

Speilberg unveils the new mothership for "Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Part II".

104. Posted by smitty | June 3, 2006 8:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 20:51

So thats what "ROSANNE" did... (Below threshold)

105. Posted by virgo | June 3, 2006 9:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

So thats what "ROSANNE" did with all the whale blubber She had cut off Her derrier.

105. Posted by virgo | June 3, 2006 9:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 21:05

Mayor McCheese renounces Is... (Below threshold)

106. Posted by virgo | June 3, 2006 9:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

Mayor McCheese renounces Islam and has His head cut off and served live on Al JaZeera! long live Islam! the religion of Piece 's.

106. Posted by virgo | June 3, 2006 9:58 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 21:58

M&M: The Other White Meat</... (Below threshold)

107. Posted by Jasper | June 3, 2006 10:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jasper:

M&M: The Other White Meat

107. Posted by Jasper | June 3, 2006 10:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 3, 2006 22:47

Our Dead Man's Special. Se... (Below threshold)

108. Posted by Dan Melson | June 4, 2006 12:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dan Melson:

Our Dead Man's Special. Served with Aces and Eights. Anybody want to sponsor Michael Moore for seconds?

108. Posted by Dan Melson | June 4, 2006 12:07 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 4, 2006 00:07

The 6-6-6 Burger... (Below threshold)

109. Posted by Hodink | June 4, 2006 2:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hodink:

The 6-6-6 Burger

109. Posted by Hodink | June 4, 2006 2:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 4, 2006 02:10

Al Gore: "I invented that b... (Below threshold)

110. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 4, 2006 10:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Al Gore: "I invented that burger!"

110. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 4, 2006 10:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 4, 2006 10:11

JayTea says "Have this nice... (Below threshold)

111. Posted by fustian | June 4, 2006 2:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

JayTea says "Have this nice burger while you wait for us to judge LAST WEEK's caption contest...."

111. Posted by fustian | June 4, 2006 2:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 4, 2006 14:03

Update</stro... (Below threshold)

112. Posted by Kevin | June 5, 2006 1:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin:


Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.

112. Posted by Kevin | June 5, 2006 1:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 5, 2006 01:03


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