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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin
Published: June 2, 2006 - 7:00 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Chef Jeff Zellner of Denny's Beer Barrell hoists one of the establishment's record-breaking burgers in the kitchen in Clearfield, Pennsylvania, in May 2005. European lawmakers adopted new laws on food labels aimed at fighting obesity by ensuring that consumers are warned about high levels of sugar, fat and salt in products.(AFP/Getty Images/File/Jeff Swensen)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.

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Comments (112)

Anybody want to take bets o... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Lorie Byrd | June 2, 2006 7:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lorie Byrd:

Anybody want to take bets on how many submissions include Michael Moore's name?

1. Posted by Lorie Byrd | June 2, 2006 7:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:20

We'll call this the "Big Al... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by billburz | June 2, 2006 7:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
billburz:

We'll call this the "Big Al". Guess the Carbon Footprint, pre and post eating!

2. Posted by billburz | June 2, 2006 7:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:22

Would you like fries with t... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Steve | June 2, 2006 7:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve:

Would you like fries with that?

3. Posted by Steve | June 2, 2006 7:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:26

After reading the reports o... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Faith+1 | June 2, 2006 7:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

After reading the reports of a national obesity problem high schooler Josh Bransen said, "Screw the fat police, Super Size Me!"

4. Posted by Faith+1 | June 2, 2006 7:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:40

DRUDGEBREAKING: While excav... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 7:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

DRUDGEBREAKING: While excavations at the Hidden Dreams horse farm didn't yield any new evidence of Jimmy Hoffa's remains, new theories have surfaced as to the disposition of the former Teamster.

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 7:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:50

"...and your Diet Coke will... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 7:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"...and your Diet Coke will be right up..."

(since Steve took the fries caption)

6. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 2, 2006 7:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:51

Hmmmm.Michael Moor... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by ed | June 2, 2006 7:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
ed:

Hmmmm.

Michael Moore: Uuuuggggghhhhhhhaaarrrrggghhhhh!

7. Posted by ed | June 2, 2006 7:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:52

"I will gladly pay you Tues... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by J-Ho | June 2, 2006 7:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
J-Ho:

"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

8. Posted by J-Ho | June 2, 2006 7:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 07:59

"In Soviet Russia, burger e... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by kev | June 2, 2006 8:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kev:

"In Soviet Russia, burger eats YOU!!"

9. Posted by kev | June 2, 2006 8:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:09

So big that I had to have m... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Sinner | June 2, 2006 8:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sinner:

So big that I had to have my jaw wired back together!

10. Posted by Sinner | June 2, 2006 8:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:10

It's called the "Ted Kenned... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 2, 2006 8:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

It's called the "Ted Kennedy" burger. If eating it doesn't kill you, you will wish you were dead.

11. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 2, 2006 8:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:16

Arteries too soft? We have ... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Weegie | June 2, 2006 8:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Weegie:

Arteries too soft? We have the cure!

12. Posted by Weegie | June 2, 2006 8:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:16

Hold the cheese.... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by elvis | June 2, 2006 8:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
elvis:

Hold the cheese.

13. Posted by elvis | June 2, 2006 8:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:34

Morgan Spurlock is a pussy!... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Mike | June 2, 2006 8:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mike:

Morgan Spurlock is a pussy!

14. Posted by Mike | June 2, 2006 8:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:34

Uh waiter, I thought I told... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by DJ | June 2, 2006 8:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DJ:

Uh waiter, I thought I told you I wanted the large cheeseburger.

15. Posted by DJ | June 2, 2006 8:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:46

One all beef patty, cheese,... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Jay | June 2, 2006 8:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jay:

One all beef patty, cheese, special sauce, lettuce, pickles on a... hey! Where are the sesame seeds? I'm sending it back.

16. Posted by Jay | June 2, 2006 8:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:48

The EU sets standards for p... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by Imhotep | June 2, 2006 8:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Imhotep:

The EU sets standards for portion control, but they failed to control the number of facial piercings in the Chef!

If the fat from the food doesn't kill you, the Hepatitis C from the wait staff will.

17. Posted by Imhotep | June 2, 2006 8:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 08:58

WASHINGTON -- Democratic Le... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 2, 2006 9:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

WASHINGTON -- Democratic Leader Jerrold (The Waddler) Nadler accepted free Hardees Thickburgers® while that restaurant was trying to influence him on federal food regulations.

He defended the gifts, saying they would never influence his position and was simply trying to learn how his legislation might affect an important home state industry.

"I love the burgers anyways, so it wasn't like being punished," added Nadler, a former competitive eater.

18. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 2, 2006 9:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:05

Disciples prepare for Hajj ... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Tango | June 2, 2006 9:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tango:

Disciples prepare for Hajj to Graceland with offerings that are said to be pleasing to the deceased King.

19. Posted by Tango | June 2, 2006 9:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:06

Macdonald's unveil's it's n... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Norm | June 2, 2006 9:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm:

Macdonald's unveil's it's new Quarter-Tonner with Cheese Burger. Not available in for Take-Out or Drive-Thru.

20. Posted by Norm | June 2, 2006 9:07 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:07

You say you can't fit it in... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by pedrovex | June 2, 2006 9:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
pedrovex:

You say you can't fit it in your mouth...thats okay, its a Suppository hamburger.

21. Posted by pedrovex | June 2, 2006 9:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:24

It's the latest offshore de... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Mac Lorry | June 2, 2006 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mac Lorry:

It's the latest offshore design. The BBC's "Americans are pigs" refrain has gotten a lot of traction.

22. Posted by Mac Lorry | June 2, 2006 9:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:28

And now for our Piece de re... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Ozone64 | June 2, 2006 9:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ozone64:

And now for our Piece de resistance. Our 10 lb Heart Attack Burger with a side order of Massive Coronary.

23. Posted by Ozone64 | June 2, 2006 9:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:36

and if I think there one of... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by yetanotherjohn | June 2, 2006 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

and if I think there one of Bushitler's little Eichmans, I spit on it before I take it out to them.

24. Posted by yetanotherjohn | June 2, 2006 9:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:37

I will gladly pay you on Th... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by EdMcGon | June 2, 2006 9:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
EdMcGon:

I will gladly pay you on Thursday for a hamburger today...

25. Posted by EdMcGon | June 2, 2006 9:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:38

The new Alvin Hevesi burger... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by yetanotherjohn | June 2, 2006 9:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

The new Alvin Hevesi burger. If you can open your mouth wide enough to get a bite of this, you'll have no trouble inserting your foot.

http://www.wnbc.com/politics/9306297/detail.html

26. Posted by yetanotherjohn | June 2, 2006 9:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:40

You just know that kid spit... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Takefive | June 2, 2006 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Takefive:

You just know that kid spit on that burger!

27. Posted by Takefive | June 2, 2006 9:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:43

Here's your appetizer Mr. M... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Tim Murphy | June 2, 2006 9:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tim Murphy:

Here's your appetizer Mr. Moore.

28. Posted by Tim Murphy | June 2, 2006 9:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:51

______GUTCHECK_______... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 9:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

______GUTCHECK_______
__________________BURP!

29. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 9:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:56

Percy the Punkster says, "H... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Charlie Earl | June 2, 2006 9:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Charlie Earl:

Percy the Punkster says, "Hey Kos, here's your PETA burger!

30. Posted by Charlie Earl | June 2, 2006 9:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:57

"That's a lotta dimp."... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by sentinel | June 2, 2006 9:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
sentinel:

"That's a lotta dimp."

31. Posted by sentinel | June 2, 2006 9:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 09:57

"Special Orders Don't Up Se... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

"Special Orders Don't Up Set Us."

32. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:00

Here's your sacrificed "Mar... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Vegas Vic | June 2, 2006 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Vegas Vic:

Here's your sacrificed "Marine-on- a- bun" Mr. Murtha. Would you like a side of Hypocrisy with you order?

33. Posted by Vegas Vic | June 2, 2006 10:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:09

Seconds Mr. Moore?... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

Seconds Mr. Moore?

34. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:11

Delivery order to PETA head... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Robert | June 2, 2006 10:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Robert:

Delivery order to PETA headquarters - It will be there in 30 min or its free.

35. Posted by Robert | June 2, 2006 10:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:13

Johnny Coldcuts, a frequent... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Rube | June 2, 2006 10:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rube:

Johnny Coldcuts, a frequent contributor to the Freddy Mercury fan-site "Ace of Spades HQ", seen here being 'fisted' by comedian David Spade in preparation for next month's Cornhole Classic.

36. Posted by Rube | June 2, 2006 10:15 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:15

"Services Will Be Held Foll... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
radio free fred:

"Services Will Be Held Following The Meal."

37. Posted by radio free fred | June 2, 2006 10:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:20

"Have it your way...but wit... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Master Shake:

"Have it your way...but with spit!"

38. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:20

Care for some Eminem's with... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
virgo:

Care for some Eminem's with Your burger?

39. Posted by virgo | June 2, 2006 10:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:21

"WARNING: Burger may conta... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Master Shake:

"WARNING: Burger may contain misplaced body piercings"

40. Posted by Master Shake | June 2, 2006 10:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:22

He thought having his lips ... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by BlogDog | June 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BlogDog:

He thought having his lips staples together was a good idea. But he ordered the megaburger anyway.

41. Posted by BlogDog | June 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:23

Sorry: make that "stapled" ... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by BlogDog | June 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
BlogDog:

Sorry: make that "stapled" instead of "staples."

42. Posted by BlogDog | June 2, 2006 10:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 2, 2006 10:23