Scott Ott often writes satire that gets mistaken for real news because he skirts incredibly close to the truth, while pushing just enough over the top to make a point. I found the following offering to be a particularly good example. (Hat tip to Betsy Newmark who described the piece as "satire so accurate it hurts.")
(2006-06-03) -- The American Society of Professional Journalists today said it would offer major news organizations like CNN and the New York Times a "core values" training course in the wake of an incident in Haditha, Iraq.The journalist training comes as the Pentagon offers its own brand of values reinforcement for U.S. troops.
"We're just going to cover the basics," said an unnamed trainer, "We'll reinforce the bedrock values that 99.9 percent of journalists already live by, but may not always remember under the stress, fear and isolation of war."
The following is a partial list of topics from the "core wartime values" course for journalists:
-Hold the presses! Innocent until accused.
-How to use the word "alleged" and still get your point across.
-Finding a quotable Congressman to say what you mean.
-Top-notch news analysis in a word: Vietnam.




Comments (15)
Core Values Training. And ... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Dan Patterson | June 7, 2006 5:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Core Values Training. And Special High Intensity Training for people of the press.
This from Drudge: ANN COULTER RESPONDS TO SEN. CLINTON: 'BEFORE CRITICIZING OTHERS FOR BEING 'MEAN' TO WOMEN, PERHAPS HILLARY SHOULD TALK TO HER HUSBAND WHO WAS ACCUSED OF RAPE BY JUANITA BROADDRICK AND WAS GROPING KATHLEEN WILLEY AT THE VERY MOMENT WILLEY'S HUSBAND WAS COMMITTING SUICIDE.'
How's THAT for some sensitivity? We need more like that and I am glad to see it--Spades are Spades, Horseshit is Horseshit, and I say it's Brocolli and I say the Hell with it!!
Dan Patterson
Arrogant Infidel
1. Posted by Dan Patterson | June 7, 2006 5:07 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 17:07
2. Posted by Lee | June 7, 2006 6:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Congratulations. In light of the seriousness of the Haditha charges, this is particularly distasteful.
2. Posted by Lee | June 7, 2006 6:07 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 18:07
3. Posted by a4g | June 7, 2006 6:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What exactly are the Haditha charges, Lee?
3. Posted by a4g | June 7, 2006 6:24 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 18:24
4. Posted by Peter F. | June 7, 2006 6:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, Lee, those would be called "witch-hunt accusations to further a political agenda", not "charges".
4. Posted by Peter F. | June 7, 2006 6:56 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 18:56
5. Posted by Lee | June 7, 2006 7:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
witch hunt? by whom?
Are you so in denial that you think these murders were fabricated? that they didn't happen?
Eveidently you've been reading too many of lorie's posts. You are seriously misinformed.
Here, have a clue or two:
Yep, here's another clue, this time it's Gen. Michael Hagee, the Marine Corps commandant:
and for those paranoid schizophrenics, those who don't read MSM stories because it makes their tin-foil hats all a-tingly, and who really, really believe that the big bad MSM is out to get them, there's this:
(emphasis added)
How stupid can you get?
5. Posted by Lee | June 7, 2006 7:21 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 19:21
6. Posted by Proud Kaffir | June 7, 2006 7:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lee:
The press has already tried and convicted the Marines before the results of the investigation have been released. They are now basically on all-Haditha, all-the-time coverage, even though no new information has been forthcoming.
I will repeat here what I posted on another blog when this first broke:
This was a prediction that has certainly come to pass. The MSM wants to smear all our troops and declare the mission a failure due to the alleged isolated incident.
As to the MSM glee, they are in such a rush to condemn that they don't even check if the photos are correct here and here.
6. Posted by Proud Kaffir | June 7, 2006 7:43 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 19:43
7. Posted by Dan Patterson | June 7, 2006 7:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Well I must be pretty stupid. The glee in the MSM is almost palpable as Murtha makes the charges against the Marines; the Walter Cronkite proclamation in Viet Nam was incorrect as well but that hasn't stopped today's news outlets from grasping for an event with which to hang both the military and the political leadership. Much (no, not all) of the visible news reporters emphasize the events with furrowed brows and leading questions of the "Isn't this an indication that the war is lost?" sort. Charges that were uncovered many weeks before, I thought, and were being investigated already, or am I stupid again? Wasn't a photo published claiming to be the 'execution-style killing' in Haditha that was later found to be mis-captioned? Did that get any attention? Note that the events could be horrific, or they could be something else. We don't know. But why the emphasis on the possibility (probablity?) of crime? A bias against both the mission and the soldiers, perhaps? Am I stupid again?
Not a word of the improvements in Iraq and not a squeak about military success nor of any increasing Iraqi independance. Not a word about the use of civilians as shields, not a word about those same civilians knowing the whereabouts of IEDs and aiding the terrorists. Plenty of the "witch-hunt accusations to further a political agenda" though. Stupid.
Lee wrote: "Where, readers and viewers were left to wonder, were the all the gleeful articles, quotes, headlines, and cable news talk shows about Haditha?" The gleeful articles etc. were there partly by the puposeful omission of information on success--"who wants to read about a mission being accomplished? Didn't we see GW do that with his carrier landing?" and partly by reading the damned things and watching the news. Abhu Graib was nothing (NOTHING! Emphasis added) but it became something because of the news industry. Stupid?
Lee also wrote: "Malkin, as is her custom, cited no examples on Fox to back up her charges that journalists at major dailies were thrilled about the unfolding mass murder story". Malkin has written her opinion based on her observations, many other people might agree and many might not, but hers is an arguable point. Still stupid?
That the news industry has a lefty bias is not arguable. That the Haditha incident is possibly horrifying is not arguable. It is also very possible that all is not as it seems in Haditha. Why not wait and find out or have you, Lee, seized upon the event as proof of a theorum? Stupid.
Dan Patterson
Arrogant Infidel
7. Posted by Dan Patterson | June 7, 2006 7:58 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 19:58
8. Posted by Peter F. | June 7, 2006 8:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Are you so in denial that you think these murders were fabricated?
No, you asshat, I'm not. But I'm not going to condemn our military men and women until the investigation is complete. I am not going to engage in speculative nonsense until all the facts are known. Nor am I going to go bloody apeshit over civilians getting killed or murdered in war. Even if this turns out to be true, It would not the first time it has ever happened nor will it be the last.
And consider just for a goddamn minute that it is widely known that the insurgents/al Qaeda use women and children as cover during battles. Children are literally forced into the street to halt fire from US and Iraqi forces so that they may escape. My buddy's brother has witnessed this repeatedly in the Afghan theater. And what about the children and women and innocents blown up every single, f***ing day by car bombs in Iraq, and in Israel, in Jordan, in Egypt?
So where the f*** is your righteous indignation at their tactics, huh? Or is that you expect it from them? Hmm, is that it? Our men and women have shown a helluva more respect for life and the rules of warfare than the enemy has ever shown. But people like you can't even acknowldge that fact. You want to focus on and handwring over this crap and condemn us for somehow not being better than our enemy. Tell me, where the f*** it's written that we have to be better than the enemy in war? Morally better doesn't win wars; it loses them. In fact, being morally better and sensitive may be the very thing that's dragging us down in this war. And that's thanks in large part to people like you, Lee. But you don't get that, and that doesn't surpise me in the least.
As somebody wrote recently, what makes us special is that we stand for liberty and are willing to fight for it, not just for ourselves but for others as well. Not that we prosecute war crimes to prove we're somehow better than the enemy. That's a farce of the highest order in which you are great participant.
It's the epitome of shameful.
8. Posted by Peter F. | June 7, 2006 8:34 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 20:34
9. Posted by Lee | June 7, 2006 9:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Proud Kaffir wrote: "The press has already tried and convicted the Marines before the results of the investigation have been released."
One example, please. Back up your claim with one example where the press has "tried and convicted the Marines...". Please, be Proud - an example, please, just one, please.
Peter F. wrote "I'm not going to condemn our military men and women until the investigation is complete"
Niether has the press. Give us an example, Peter, of where the MSM has condemned our military men and women.
The MSM is reporting what is known. The only people who are making up the news are those who keep blaming the media for trying and convicting the Marines over this issue.
Or, prove me wrong. Link to MSM examples (not more unsubstantiated Michelle Malkin BS) of what you claim, that proves your point that the MSM "... has already tried and convicted the Marines before the results of the investigation have been released."
Still waiting....
Peter F. also wrote: "Tell me, where the f*** it's written that we have to be better than the enemy in war?"
Don't go there Peter. There is no excuse for the murder of innocent Iraqis you clown.
9. Posted by Lee | June 7, 2006 9:45 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 21:45
10. Posted by jainphx | June 7, 2006 9:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.yes yes yes , no truer words have ever been spoken thank you. And Lee shame isn't enough to describe you, but will leave it there.
10. Posted by jainphx | June 7, 2006 9:53 PM |
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Posted on June 7, 2006 21:53
11. Posted by jhow66 | June 8, 2006 12:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"how stupid can you get?" Not near as stupid as some asskissing, bootlicking, appeasing leftwing moonbat by the name of "LEE". (oh cry me a river).
11. Posted by jhow66 | June 8, 2006 12:40 AM |
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Posted on June 8, 2006 00:40
12. Posted by virgo | June 8, 2006 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Oh but Lee,there are plenty of excuses no rather omissions of the murder of innocent Americans in Your warped twisted media! are'nt there Leak!
Massacre at Haditha is the only headline We need to know.
The press has not condemned our military Men and Women? Shhhhhhhh! Abu Graihb.
You are a Jackanapes of the 3rd kind...
12. Posted by virgo | June 8, 2006 10:20 AM |
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Posted on June 8, 2006 10:20
13. Posted by virgo | June 8, 2006 10:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lee
Plugging Your book on here ehh... what are You Joe the Lying Wilsons nephew or something? got a flamethrower anyone?
13. Posted by virgo | June 8, 2006 10:27 AM |
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Posted on June 8, 2006 10:27
14. Posted by virgo | June 8, 2006 10:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Darnit Mak and Lee they got Zarqawi!! bummer..
14. Posted by virgo | June 8, 2006 10:29 AM |
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Posted on June 8, 2006 10:29
15. Posted by Lee | June 11, 2006 4:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
still waiting for a link to any news story that demonstrates the glee the right-wing lugnuts keep crowing about -- that the MSM is "gleefully" reporting this story.
Come on - how can you commenters (and Lorie) claim it is true without having one link? Apparently none of you actually read any news accounts which were biased against the marines as you claimed, but instead you are just parroting and passing on the BS from Limbaugh, Malkin, O'Reilly, et al.
15. Posted by Lee | June 11, 2006 4:21 PM |
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Posted on June 11, 2006 16:21