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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Shakira performs during the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards in New York, on Thursday, Aug. 31, 2006. (AP Photo/Jeff Christensen)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (78)

Pre-emptive: I'd hit it!</... (Below threshold)
LJD:

Pre-emptive: I'd hit it!

Shakira, promoting a deodor... (Below threshold)
Jim in Cleveland:

Shakira, promoting a deodorant, had to clarify to the men in the crowd to "Raise your hand if you're Sure!"

as Jackie Gleason puts it..... (Below threshold)
heymike:

as Jackie Gleason puts it..

"hammina hammina hammina"

Katie's (Couric) new look d... (Below threshold)
Ichabod Crane:

Katie's (Couric) new look debuts on CBS Evening News..We didn't photoshop this! (We promise..CBS)

Greeter at the pearly gate:... (Below threshold)
Jumpinjoe:

Greeter at the pearly gate:

This is what you could have had plus 71 more of me if you would not have blown up all those women and children.

Now please exit right to the John Holmes gay sodomy room and spread eagle.

Producers of "The View" swe... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Producers of "The View" swear Rosie O'Donnell's picture was not photshopped. You be the judge.

Nathan Lane unveils his new... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Nathan Lane unveils his new look with the words "TrimSpa Baby!"

"You'd like to be this smoo... (Below threshold)

"You'd like to be this smooth too? And without that nasty razor burn? So get NAIR, already!"

Shakira it all baby.... (Below threshold)

Shakira it all baby.

No hips for oil!... (Below threshold)
jack oneil:

No hips for oil!

Valery Plame, undercover at... (Below threshold)

Valery Plame, undercover at the MTV awards show.

Armitage is speechless.

"Happy Birthday, President ... (Below threshold)
SurfinKC:

"Happy Birthday, President Gore, Happy Birthday to you!"

" "In other words,... (Below threshold)
mtgyau:

" "

In other words, rendered completely incapacitated by truth-telling hips.

Another CBS photoshop job o... (Below threshold)

Another CBS photoshop job on Katie Couric. They used to think she was just fat. Now they think she's ugly too.

I'm sorry...all I can think... (Below threshold)

I'm sorry...all I can think of can't be printed here. OH BABY!!

Starkist Tuna, in an effort... (Below threshold)

Starkist Tuna, in an effort to raise sagging sales, announces they are replacing Charlie the Tuna with a more popular spokesperson.

"Sometimes a microphone is ... (Below threshold)
jack:

"Sometimes a microphone is just a microphone."

You know what they say: loo... (Below threshold)
OregonMuse:

You know what they say: loose hips sink... no, wait a minute, I guess they don't.

Now this is one "hip... (Below threshold)
OregonMuse:

Now this is one "hippy" I could actually like...

"No, really. Is there a Do... (Below threshold)

"No, really. Is there a Doctor in the house? I just threw out my hip..."

Why we fight.... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

Why we fight.

Bill Clinton's birthday cel... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

Bill Clinton's birthday celebration continued with the singing of the traditional birthday song followed by the former president sharing a cigar with her in private.

"I dream of tweenie"... (Below threshold)
914:

"I dream of tweenie"

I hate it when the use musi... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

I hate it when the use music to promote sex. Sex should be appreciated on its own merits.

"Stuck...stuu-uuck....STUUU... (Below threshold)

"Stuck...stuu-uuck....STUUUUUUUCCKKK!!!!"

Barn doors open.... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

Barn doors open.

I wonder when the roadies a... (Below threshold)
eman:

I wonder when the roadies are going to figure out that my hand is stuck.

I don't care what she says ... (Below threshold)

I don't care what she says in that song man... her hips are the dirtiest liars I've ever met.

A large disturbance in the ... (Below threshold)

A large disturbance in the Force could be felt as every male over 10 years old attempted to initiate a wardrobe malfunction.

One of the Middle East's le... (Below threshold)

One of the Middle East's less evil influences on popular culture.

"Put your right foot in"</p... (Below threshold)
plainslow:

"Put your right foot in"

Valerie Flameouts real alte... (Below threshold)
914:

Valerie Flameouts real alter ego does a skit on Lettermen...


Undercover angel, powdercake fantasy

I'll be the cushion, You do... (Below threshold)
914:

I'll be the cushion, You do the pushin.

What IS that spot on the dr... (Below threshold)
SILVER BULLET:

What IS that spot on the dress? Ask Slick Willy!!

Have her scrubbed, and sent... (Below threshold)
Son Of The Godfather:

Have her scrubbed, and sent to my tent.

Holy shnikes, Barbara Eden ... (Below threshold)
Son Of The Godfather:

Holy shnikes, Barbara Eden has still got it!

Shakira - The anti-burkha.<... (Below threshold)
Son Of The Godfather:

Shakira - The anti-burkha.

PS: I liked Daniel's cap: "I don't care what she says in that song man... her hips are the dirtiest liars I've ever met."

That picture gives me a ful... (Below threshold)
Son Of The Godfather:

That picture gives me a full-on Major Nelson. :)

While some thought this pho... (Below threshold)
JAT:

While some thought this photo of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was Photoshopped, it turns out that Ahmadinejad loves to wear women's clothing.

Her hips don't lie. They j... (Below threshold)

Her hips don't lie. They just talk naughty.

ScheheraZOWIE!... (Below threshold)

ScheheraZOWIE!

In order to increase viewer... (Below threshold)
2klb_o_fun:

In order to increase viewership, Michelle Malkin enlists the aid of Shakira a guest vlogger at Hot Air.

Neither Mary Kathrarine nor Bethany could not be reached for comment. . .

Burka this! ... (Below threshold)
eman:

Burka this!

Since she's at least 18, wh... (Below threshold)
loaner1967:

Since she's at least 18, what I am thinking is isn't illegal...but I oughta be ashamed!!

Her hips don't lie. They ju... (Below threshold)

Her hips don't lie. They just talk dirty.

Former President William Je... (Below threshold)
Tango:

Former President William Jefferson Clinton celebrated his 60TH birthday on August 19TH 2006 with a theme celebration based on the Marilyn Monroe & JFK rumored connection. Here Shakira sings a bubbly rendition of Happy Birthday reminicient of Marilyn's birthday cooing at JFK's 46TH at Madison Square Garden back in 1962. Unfortunately, Shakira was later found dead of an apparent drug overdose at the home of Clinton pardonee Marc Rich. Chappaqua police are investigating a report of a suspicious pick-up truck with Arkansas plates seen by residents circling the area earlier that afternoon. Roger Clinton, brother and another pardonee, when reached for comment by the Post stated, "I was bass fishing in Texarkana with some buddies at the time of this unfortunate happenstance."

"Does this outfit make me l... (Below threshold)

"Does this outfit make me look too hippy?"

"Chicken Dance!"... (Below threshold)

"Chicken Dance!"

Nips don't lie...... (Below threshold)
ken:

Nips don't lie...

Why they hate us... (Below threshold)

Why they hate us

How about you shake-it-over... (Below threshold)
Headzero:

How about you shake-it-over-hera?

W.W.A.D.?Who Would... (Below threshold)
Robb H:

W.W.A.D.?

Who Would Allah Do?

Uhhhh, just curious, but is... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Uhhhh, just curious, but is it wrong to sport wood at work?

Liar, liar, my pants are <i... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Liar, liar, my pants are defintiely on fire.

OK, if the other 71 look th... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

OK, if the other 71 look this, screw it, I'm convertin'.

As Shakira took the stage i... (Below threshold)
Big E:

As Shakira took the stage it became clear to everyone present and watching from home that Madonna's career was officially over. Secretly everyone was very relieved.

OK, if the other 71 look li... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

OK, if the other 71 look like this, screw it, I'm convertin'.

(Oops, left a word out. My bad...)

Wait!I can't type ... (Below threshold)

Wait!

I can't type that fast one handed.

She would never do for Slic... (Below threshold)
SILVER BULLET:

She would never do for Slick Willy.........Not as fat as Monica! And, can she do the old cigar trick?

Look, my deodorant doesn't ... (Below threshold)

Look, my deodorant doesn't leave that white streak!

"Is she running for office?... (Below threshold)
Hodink:

"Is she running for office? I'll vote for her! Is she Republican? Is Katherine Harris in charge so we can make sure she wins?"

Hodink, you're crapping on ... (Below threshold)

Hodink, you're crapping on the wrong Republican. It was Ken Blackwell in Ohio that followed the rule of law and certified the elections on time in 2004.

"The future Mrs. Kenefick t... (Below threshold)
JimK:

"The future Mrs. Kenefick took a moment Friday to announce her undying love for her future husband, a small-time blogger from Connecticut."

(Do not attempt to dissuade me from this fantasy or I shall smite you.)

"Well, Christian males get ... (Below threshold)
The Listkeeper:

"Well, Christian males get an even 100 of THESE when they die, so..."

"Cameraman, I fart in your ... (Below threshold)

"Cameraman, I fart in your general direction."

After Shakira's Performance... (Below threshold)

After Shakira's Performance, Many Skeptics Of Global Warming Were Reconsidering Their Position.

Shak, Shak, Shak, Sh... (Below threshold)
chief78:

Shak, Shak, Shak,
Shak, Shak, Shak,
Shak-ira booty,
Shak-ira booty.

(with apologies to KC and the Sunshine Band)

Hips Don't Lie, but Genital... (Below threshold)

Hips Don't Lie, but Genital Herpes Does.

Shakira performs her rendit... (Below threshold)
Mac Lorry:

Shakira performs her rendition of Jimmy Soul' s number one hit from 1963 "if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife."

"I'm prettier than you! I'... (Below threshold)

"I'm prettier than you! I'm dead sexy! Look at mah bel-ly!"

Arrrrr! Thar be Booty!... (Below threshold)
Captain Jack Sparrow:

Arrrrr! Thar be Booty!

Going to see her in concert... (Below threshold)

Going to see her in concert next Tuesday. Eat your hearts out fellas!

Casting call: <a href="http... (Below threshold)
capitano:

Casting call: Barbarella II, the Musical

Shakira on the set of the ... (Below threshold)
Andrew V.:

Shakira on the set of the up coming I Dream of Jennie movie.

I have an oral fixation. <... (Below threshold)
McCain:

I have an oral fixation.

I wanna be kissed by You, B... (Below threshold)
914:

I wanna be kissed by You, By You and nobody else but You..

Sung by Ginger Grant

Im a little stiff! can You ... (Below threshold)
914:

Im a little stiff! can You guys help Me out?

Even ten of Dairy Queen's C... (Below threshold)

Even ten of Dairy Queen's Chili Meltdown GrillBurgers couldn't come close to making a man out of Shakira.




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