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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Cast member Natalie Maines (C) gestures, as co-stars Martie Maguire (L) and Emily Robison watch at a news conference for the documentary 'Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing' during the 31st Toronto International Film Festival in Toronto September 13, 2006. (Mario Anzuoni/Reuters)


Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Previous winners here and here. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (95)

If I only had a brain.... (Below threshold)

If I only had a brain.

I-am a stupid F--k!... (Below threshold)
G:

I-am a stupid F--k!

Since we're getting kind of... (Below threshold)
KP:

Since we're getting kind of old and fat, we're officially changing our names to the Dixie Hens.

So what if we not packing t... (Below threshold)
G:

So what if we not packing them in and we're loosing money and album sales. I know a stoopid F#%* when I see em!

"Our new, cool-fans-who-get... (Below threshold)

"Our new, cool-fans-who-get-it list is this long now!"

Stay tuned for the new Moon... (Below threshold)

Stay tuned for the new Moonbat Network show -- The Spew

Emily (the brunette): Oh, G... (Below threshold)
Strick:

Emily (the brunette): Oh, God. Is she ever going to shut up?

Oh Great, here she goes aga... (Below threshold)
spypeach:

Oh Great, here she goes again. Why does she always have to talk about how big her turds are?

daddy's wasn't that big, bu... (Below threshold)
christopher aland:

daddy's wasn't that big, but uncle ned, you should have seen the size of him, whoo-eee

It worked for Sharon Stone'... (Below threshold)
Taf:

It worked for Sharon Stone's career. What have I got to lose!

Dixie Shit Natalie Maines r... (Below threshold)
Norm:

Dixie Shit Natalie Maines reveals that their Wide Open Spaces song was written based on the emptiness between her ears.

This one time, at band camp... (Below threshold)
Howie Felterbush:

This one time, at band camp.....

.... and the flute was this long.

The Dixie Chicks thank all ... (Below threshold)

The Dixie Chicks thank all 37 of their die-hard fans for attending the new a cappella format concert tour.

Today on the Jerry Springer... (Below threshold)
SurfinKC:

Today on the Jerry Springer show, will talk with three women who are all married to the same bad idea.

"You know, I never meant th... (Below threshold)
JimK:

"You know, I never meant the name to have that X in the middle. I'm just saying it was supposed to be a C and a K. Stupid NASCAR-loving fascist fanbase...the record company made us change it."

3 women who count their mon... (Below threshold)
MyPetGloat:

3 women who count their money while Wizbang pouts.

BDS meets PMS.... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

BDS meets PMS.

My Mouth? It is this big. ... (Below threshold)
billburz:

My Mouth? It is this big. My Brain? It is as closed as my legs!

Welcome to The Dating Game!... (Below threshold)
Steve:

Welcome to The Dating Game!!! Today we have Three Scum Sucking Liberal Whine Bags for the Bachelors to question. Hey, Where did the Bachelors go??? OOOOPS!!

We are the PIXIE PIGS.... (Below threshold)
jhow66:

We are the PIXIE PIGS.

"So now listen to this, the... (Below threshold)
FreakyBoy:

"So now listen to this, then the G-damn doc tells me it's some f-ed up thing called Tourette's Disorder. Which sh*t, I reckon from the name, it's a di-sease young women can catch if their band tours France or Europe or even here on the continent of Canadia. Ain't that a motherf-er?"

I a move to regain their fa... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

I a move to regain their fading popularity, the Dixie Chix that they "Loved Bush, supported the war in Iraq and just wish that all the slack mouthed, cousin marrying, moronic country fans would just give them another chance.

ABC's newest addition to th... (Below threshold)
Matt:

ABC's newest addition to the VIEW.

Making a mockery of their o... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

Making a mockery of their own tour, the Dixie Chicks refused to just "Shut up and sing". Most of their former fans would be happy if they would just "Shut up".

The New View... (Below threshold)
boris1:

The New View

You want me to spread my le... (Below threshold)
Justrand:

You want me to spread my legs THIS wide...right NOW? Oh, OK!

The Toronto International F... (Below threshold)
yetanotherjohn:

The Toronto International Film Festival was pleased to present a balanced political presentation that represented the right, center and left positions of the democratic party. The right wing democratic party position was Bush was a moronic boob who was too stupid to be truly evil. The moderate democratic position was that Bush was truly evil but to incompetent to do anything not approved by his puppet masters. The left wing view was that Bush personally planted the explosives in the World Trade Center and his plot to control the world has only so far been averted by the judicious use of tinfoil.

Cock puppets!... (Below threshold)
914:

Cock puppets!

By no longer catering to th... (Below threshold)
FormerHostage:

By no longer catering to those hicks we've actually made ourselves more available to our new fans...for like...birthday parties or mall openings...anything that pays.

I don't know about all that... (Below threshold)

I don't know about all that talk about "drop in sales," our album was Number 3 on iTunes last week and if we can make money without touring the "red states" then cool...I was more of a punk rocker anyway.

After reviewing the tape, t... (Below threshold)
FormerHostage:

After reviewing the tape, technicians determined that the loud sucking sound was not actually produced by the opening of Ms Maines mouth but instead was the sound of their career heading south right after she began to speak.

The Dixie Chicks discuss th... (Below threshold)
FormerHostage:

The Dixie Chicks discuss their new "Would You Like Fries With That" tour where they'll be opening for Sinead O'Connor with George Michaels.

Were so punctional and func... (Below threshold)
914:

Were so punctional and functional it makes My mind quiver.

"Hey Canada, what's with th... (Below threshold)
Tango:

"Hey Canada, what's with that big, stupid-looking leaf on your flag?"

"Uh! Color me stupid, but, ... (Below threshold)
jab:

"Uh! Color me stupid, but, what was i talking about?"

NOTE: a "Coffee Spew" alert... (Below threshold)
Justrand:

NOTE: a "Coffee Spew" alert should have been issued for FreakyBoy's post above!! I had a mouthful and damn near drenched my entire desk!! Worth scrolling up for if you missed it!

now back to the caption contest...

Well I don't know why I ... (Below threshold)
Jenna:

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I got the feeling that something ain't right,
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair,
And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs,
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.

Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

I pledge allegiance to the ... (Below threshold)
914:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United states of Europe
And to the republic for which I stand
One nation under Kofi, with bribery and injustice for all

And I trust Kevin about thi... (Below threshold)
Weegie:

And I trust Kevin about this far to actually have the winner announced on Sunday.

Bob Ney is like sooooooooo ... (Below threshold)
PJF:

Bob Ney is like sooooooooo guilty. Dick Cheney is next or I am not a Dixie Chick! ;)

http://patrickjfitzgerald.blogspot.com

Beyond this point here ther... (Below threshold)
JaySwash:

Beyond this point here there be dragons...

Preppy, Sleazy and Unhinged... (Below threshold)
914:

Preppy, Sleazy and Unhinged.

B.D.O.A.... (Below threshold)
914:

B.D.O.A.

And it was this LONG... (Below threshold)
richard jefferson:

And it was this LONG

And if you think I'M a nutc... (Below threshold)
Scott:

And if you think I'M a nutcase, get a couple of drinks in these two and... WOW

"When we think of artists t... (Below threshold)
Just a Patent Attorney:

"When we think of artists that have made a significant impact, but in a brief period of time [holds hands apart to indicate a short time], I am reminded of that great poet laureate who sang:

'To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal, light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle'

That's really at the heart of what the Dixie Chicks is all about - want country, you got it; want soft vomit inducing pop, you got it; want rap, you got it. We're everything to nobody. Just don't call it 'a comeback', sucka."

OMG. If that Zen guy would ... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

OMG. If that Zen guy would come to one of our concerts, he would learn what the sound is of one hand clapping.

Ok, so maybe I don't know a... (Below threshold)
Steven L.:

Ok, so maybe I don't know about [airquotes] "politics," or read up on [airquote]"foreign countries," or have an [airquotes] "education," but I take my responsibilities as a country singer seriously, and none of that will stop me from telling other people how to react to news. I mean, educating them.

Revelation According MunDan... (Below threshold)
MunDane:

Revelation According MunDane 33:14-17
(14)Lo, I opened my eyes and The Three Horsemen of the Undistinguished appeared. (15)To one was given the power of boredom, and cause slumber to fall on the afflicted. (16)To the second was given the power of outrageous speech, which did arouse People but for a brief period of time, as the People, they had heard it all before. (17)To the third was give the power of indifference, which did cause the People to go and seek another fad to follow.

The daughters of the Three ... (Below threshold)
Will Traynor:

The daughters of the Three Stooges carry on their fathers' legacy.

"I once opened my mouth...a... (Below threshold)

"I once opened my mouth...ahhh...about this wide."

Chicken Little And "The Sky... (Below threshold)

Chicken Little And "The Sky Has Fallen Singers."

"Y'all see, my real mistake... (Below threshold)
Nihilistic_Disintegration:

"Y'all see, my real mistake was thinking that inbred backward-assed redneck country fans who lap up that Toby Keith 'I love America' bullsh*t actually believed in the First Amendment. Gosh, y'all can imagine my surprise when I found out they're just a bunch of closed-minded boot-stomping gravy-chugging flag-waving retards. My bad."

Maines Announces Choice of ... (Below threshold)
Todd:

Maines Announces Choice of Halloween Costume as 'French Maid'

(or is that french-made)

Actually my penis was... (Below threshold)
heymike:

Actually my penis was this long but of course that was before the surgery.

Well, if y'all think it sme... (Below threshold)
OneDrummer:

Well, if y'all think it smells like fish now, y'all gotta check out our tour bus!! This ain't nothin'!

"Damn, y'all, when I exerci... (Below threshold)

"Damn, y'all, when I exercised my First Amendment rights I didn't think that gave you the right to do it too! My bad..."

Stupid Girl(s)... (Below threshold)

Stupid Girl(s)

And that's how Ann Coulter ... (Below threshold)
CayuteKitt:

And that's how Ann Coulter pulled a "Sharon Stone"!

The Dixie Chicks leave Amer... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

The Dixie Chicks leave America, tour France and participate in a left wing talk show--simultaneously raising the average IQ of all three locations.

"...and we'll call our next... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

"...and we'll call our next album The Aristocrats"

"Maybe I am dumber than a b... (Below threshold)

"Maybe I am dumber than a box of rocks, but like, the box is *this* big!"

"We've decided to change ou... (Below threshold)
Eric:

"We've decided to change our name from the Dixie Chicks to the Yankee Yutz"*


* Yutz: This is from the Yiddish, it means ditz, clutz, dumkoft, ninny, nincompoop, socially incompetant boob, twit, dumbass.

Wide Open SpacesI ... (Below threshold)
Norm F.:

Wide Open Spaces

I don’t know what I'm talking about
After I left home, I always struck out
To find a brain and a life of my own
My head’s in the clouds, cause I’m always stoned

Many precede and many will follow
This young girl's dream is still hollow
It takes the shape of a left nutfest
But what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed

[Chorus:]
She has wide open spaces
Between her ears – it’s a big mistake
She needs new brain cells
She thinks that telling lies sells

She traveled down this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning, she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons, she'll take this test

As her folks drive away, her dad yells, "It’s all about oil!"
Mom stares out the window and says, "You’re an idiot girl"
She said, "It didn't seem like that long ago"
When she stood there and let her own bias show

[Chorus:]
She has wide open spaces
Between her ears – it’s a big mistake
She needs new brain cells
She thinks that telling lies sells

"I'll badmouth the Presiden... (Below threshold)

"I'll badmouth the President in whatever country I want to but I'm too CHICKen to do so in my own."

"I can't believe we let Nat... (Below threshold)
Erin:

"I can't believe we let Natalie "Satan's angel" take us down" Our souls are dying:)

The Three Chix From the Hix... (Below threshold)
johnmc:

The Three Chix From the Hix: Just Shut Up!

"Three blind mice! Three bl... (Below threshold)
tarheelcon:

"Three blind mice! Three blind mice!"

"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart... (Below threshold)
Eric:

"I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!"

Chicks nix hick tix!<... (Below threshold)
The Dixie Chicks now unders... (Below threshold)

The Dixie Chicks now understand how it feels to have your career ruined by one person.

I got sumpin' to say and, d... (Below threshold)
Clay:

I got sumpin' to say and, darnit, ya'll just gotta listen.

3 blind mice aptly named ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

3 blind mice aptly named dumb stupid and clueless.

Shit, Stink, and The Fly.</... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

Shit, Stink, and The Fly.

"Today on our show, we cont... (Below threshold)
John F Not Kerry:

"Today on our show, we continue the controversial practice of posting the guests' IQ's on the wall behind them."

"...and so Nancy Pelosi was... (Below threshold)
c:

"...and so Nancy Pelosi was all: 'Wal-Mart doesn't care about the middle class' and pissin' all over them and I'm thinkin' to myself: sheeyut girl, that don't sound like a very smart political strategy for the Democrats.

I mean runnin' down something that's real popular with your fan base; is that smart marketin' ?

"We've had a career this lo... (Below threshold)

"We've had a career this long! That doesn't look like much y'all, but y'all break it down in to tiny little micro-whatevers.... and you get a whooooole laaattta career y'all.....yeeeeehaaaawwww!!!!!

"Maybe if I cross my finger... (Below threshold)
Kevin:

"Maybe if I cross my fingers AND my legs this time.... people are'nt going to think I'm stupid for what I am about to say"

So Dorothy and the Tinwench... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

So Dorothy and the Tinwench here tell the Wizard I was there for, like, a brain, but I told him I'd be happier with a life-like rubber phallus about so long...

Our publicist told me to ke... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Our publicist told me to keep my legs tightly crossed lest I continue talking out of my ass.

Oh sure, bashing the presid... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Oh sure, bashing the president may have cost us our loyal fans in America but our following in Tehran and Pyongyang has never been stronger.

Don't let my bandmates' bod... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Don't let my bandmates' body language fool you, they simply adore it when I shoot off my big, fat yap.

An excerpt from the yet-to-... (Below threshold)

An excerpt from the yet-to-be-published 2008 Edition of The Guinness Book of World Records:

"The Dixie Chicks became the biggest failures in the entertainment industry when they turned their concerts into the on-stage version of Air America. The new concert format was so bad that not even Al Franken would buy a concert ticket."

We never felt like excercis... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

We never felt like excercising our First Amendment rights would affect our ability to sell records, because when you want off-key caterwalling where else are you going to go?

Like, the "right" [quote ge... (Below threshold)
Spike:

Like, the "right" [quote gesture] to be heard is right there in the Bill of the Constitution. So, like, if you're not smart enough to know that, you don't have to.

I've pissed off half the co... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

I've pissed off half the country and flushed our careers down the toilet by bashing President Bush. What else does a girl have to do to get asked on a date by Keith Olbermann? Have a dick this big?

This is where my MUTE butto... (Below threshold)
epador:

This is where my MUTE button comes in handy.

And now we present the CBS ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

And now we present the CBS Movie of the Week

Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer

"I am the dick in Dixie Chi... (Below threshold)
La Mano:

"I am the dick in Dixie Chicks."

Still <a href="http://www.m... (Below threshold)
Natalie had scarcely finish... (Below threshold)

Natalie had scarcely finished referring to Reba McIntire's talent in "scare quotes" when the set and the Dixie Chicks were flattened by a dozen monster trucks, two Hummers, and a road-grader.

The Music City News gave the performance four stars.

Maine cocktails with Natali... (Below threshold)
914:

Maine cocktails with Natalie..

The Maine in Spain stays mo... (Below threshold)
914:

The Maine in Spain stays mostly on the wang..

Dumb & Dumber & Dumberer</p... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Dumb & Dumber & Dumberer

Update: <a href="ht... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Previous winners here and here. The contest is now closed.




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