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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin

Published: September 22, 2006 - 8:00 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

John Kerry visits a tailgate party in Iowa


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.

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» rightlinx.com linked with RightLinx Caption Contest #7 - Hotties Edition

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Comments (113)

Like...ummm....could you li... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by CZ | September 22, 2006 7:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
CZ:

Like...ummm....could you like, have Senator Kennedy autograph this for meeee?

1. Posted by CZ | September 22, 2006 7:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:21

"Really, it'll flush that b... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by TC@LeatherPenguin | September 22, 2006 7:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
TC@LeatherPenguin:

"Really, it'll flush that broom right out of your ass!"

2. Posted by TC@LeatherPenguin | September 22, 2006 7:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:25

Tell me again, girls... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by D | September 22, 2006 7:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
D:


Tell me again, girls, so I get it right at the pep rally ...... Is it Hawkeyes or Buckeyes?

3. Posted by D | September 22, 2006 7:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:28

"Sure, yeah, you're cuter, ... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by FreakyBoy | September 22, 2006 7:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FreakyBoy:

"Sure, yeah, you're cuter, and with the beer bong you seem like more fun; but, the gal holding my hand has a nine fugure trust fund."

4. Posted by FreakyBoy | September 22, 2006 7:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:37

Hi, I'm, like, a Nursing st... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by guido | September 22, 2006 7:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
guido:

Hi, I'm, like, a Nursing student, y'know, and, like,
everybody tells me that, y'know, you're so full of,like, shit and stuff. So, can I, like, practice
my enema homework on you? Like, I've got a really big test for this on Monday, y'know, and it would really, really, like, help me and stuff.

5. Posted by guido | September 22, 2006 7:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:45

"Yes, I'm sure Lewinski did... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 22, 2006 7:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Yes, I'm sure Lewinski didn't just use a penis pump on Bill."

6. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 22, 2006 7:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:47

Wow, even that apparent bul... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by guido | September 22, 2006 7:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
guido:

Wow, even that apparent bulge in his pants goes to the left.

7. Posted by guido | September 22, 2006 7:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:48

First, you rub some Heinz o... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Bob Jones | September 22, 2006 7:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bob Jones:

First, you rub some Heinz on this end and shove it up your butt, then have TerRayZa drop a gerbil in this end. You'll never think of a Swiftoboat Vet again. I promise!

8. Posted by Bob Jones | September 22, 2006 7:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:50

John Kerry accepts a used H... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Tango | September 22, 2006 7:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tango:

John Kerry accepts a used Hawkeye beer-bong to funnel-feed America’s youth his new agenda.

9. Posted by Tango | September 22, 2006 7:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:50

"Sure, put it in, as long a... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by FreakyBoy | September 22, 2006 7:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FreakyBoy:

"Sure, put it in, as long as you're sure no one will be able to tell when I'm talking out of my ass anymore."

10. Posted by FreakyBoy | September 22, 2006 7:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 07:52

I sure hope you ladies aren... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by guido | September 22, 2006 8:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
guido:

I sure hope you ladies aren't Swift Boat Vets.
Because I would hate to have to kick your hot little asses from one side of this campus to the other.

11. Posted by guido | September 22, 2006 8:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:03

"Don't I know you from Viet... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Margo Demers | September 22, 2006 8:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Margo Demers:

"Don't I know you from Vietnam?"

12. Posted by Margo Demers | September 22, 2006 8:06 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:06

"Your car's all gassed up a... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 22, 2006 8:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Your car's all gassed up and ready to go now sir."
"Uh thanks, just throw that back in the trunk."

13. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 22, 2006 8:07 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:07

"Man, I just love you India... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 22, 2006 8:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Man, I just love you Indiana Hosers."

14. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 22, 2006 8:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:09

Senator Kerry shows off his... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by jim | September 22, 2006 8:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jim:

Senator Kerry shows off his anal trumpet

15. Posted by jim | September 22, 2006 8:12 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:12

A Hawkeye 'researcher' disp... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Mike | September 22, 2006 8:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mike:

A Hawkeye 'researcher' display's for Senator Kerry an invention designed to make sure that his '08 positions are heard: The Mega-Procto-Phone.

16. Posted by Mike | September 22, 2006 8:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:27

the 2008 Monica tryouts </p... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by scotty | September 22, 2006 8:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scotty:

the 2008 Monica tryouts

17. Posted by scotty | September 22, 2006 8:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:34

Tell me again how much your... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by scotty | September 22, 2006 8:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scotty:

Tell me again how much your worth, cause I really need to get away from Theresa...

18. Posted by scotty | September 22, 2006 8:35 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:35

Sure Senator, but first,... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by heymike | September 22, 2006 8:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
heymike:

Sure Senator, but first, I need to drink-you-pretty.

19. Posted by heymike | September 22, 2006 8:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:37

deep in the jungles of Iowa... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by scotty | September 22, 2006 8:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scotty:

deep in the jungles of Iowa , Kerry stalks his prey, the young wealthy heiress is most vulnerable when drunk...

20. Posted by scotty | September 22, 2006 8:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:37

This is the wrong bong in t... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Good Lt | September 22, 2006 8:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Good Lt:

This is the wrong bong in the wrong place at the wrong time, young lady.

21. Posted by Good Lt | September 22, 2006 8:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:45

Come on Johnny don't be coy... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Mike | September 22, 2006 8:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mike:

Come on Johnny don't be coy... You sucked before...

22. Posted by Mike | September 22, 2006 8:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:46

College Democrats offer to ... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Adam Lawson | September 22, 2006 8:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Adam Lawson:

College Democrats offer to help Kerry refill on bullshit before the November elections.

23. Posted by Adam Lawson | September 22, 2006 8:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:49

Campus life changed as men ... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by B's Freak | September 22, 2006 8:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
B's Freak:

Campus life changed as men stopped sucking beer bongs after the act became known as a "Kerry's Monica".

24. Posted by B's Freak | September 22, 2006 8:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:49

I so love voting democrat. ... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by billy | September 22, 2006 8:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
billy:

I so love voting democrat. It, like, set me free. I mean, I can get drunk and not even worry about it. And later, I'll show my tits to everybody...because I'm so liberated. And my sorority sisters call me 'lil hoover because I love to suck cock on the first date, you know, cause I dont believe in having sex before the 5th date - I read that on a feminist blog, ya know. Whew, I'm feeling a buzzed, wanna see my tits? They're so popular at MySpace. You were such a good president, President Clinton. God I love Berkley. See ya.

25. Posted by billy | September 22, 2006 8:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:50

Dude, for you, we call this... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Weegie | September 22, 2006 8:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Weegie:

Dude, for you, we call this device a "personality installer".

26. Posted by Weegie | September 22, 2006 8:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:51

Recipe for disaster:<... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Chuck Simmins | September 22, 2006 8:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chuck Simmins:

Recipe for disaster:

2 willing coeds
1 laughing black man
a funnel
John Kerry on camera

27. Posted by Chuck Simmins | September 22, 2006 8:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:51

"Naaaaaahhhh!!! We use it ... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Tom Blogical | September 22, 2006 8:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

"Naaaaaahhhh!!! We use it for Heinz ketchup at campus cookouts!"

28. Posted by Tom Blogical | September 22, 2006 8:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:52

"Hey does Teddy know you ha... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by JAT | September 22, 2006 8:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAT:

"Hey does Teddy know you have is pennis enlarger?"

29. Posted by JAT | September 22, 2006 8:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:54

"Sure, but, could you pour ... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Giacomo | September 22, 2006 8:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Giacomo:

"Sure, but, could you pour it into a demitasse cup instead?"

30. Posted by Giacomo | September 22, 2006 8:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:54

"Double soy non-fat latte H... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Imhotep | September 22, 2006 8:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Imhotep:

"Double soy non-fat latte HIGH COLONIC for you, sir?!"

31. Posted by Imhotep | September 22, 2006 8:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:55

"Here, John. Dubya wanted ... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by Logan | September 22, 2006 8:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Logan:

"Here, John. Dubya wanted you to have this."

32. Posted by Logan | September 22, 2006 8:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:56

Several concerned students ... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Giacomo | September 22, 2006 8:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Giacomo:

Several concerned students capture John Kerry to force feed the emaciated senator - for his own good.

33. Posted by Giacomo | September 22, 2006 8:56 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:56

"We call it a 'swift boat o... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Giacomo | September 22, 2006 8:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Giacomo:

"We call it a 'swift boat of beer'. Want to try it?"

34. Posted by Giacomo | September 22, 2006 8:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:58

Tell me you love me or I'll... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by JAT | September 22, 2006 8:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAT:

Tell me you love me or I'll suck the Pelosi out of you with my beer bong!

35. Posted by JAT | September 22, 2006 8:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:58

Your right. It's not a ciga... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by plainslow | September 22, 2006 8:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
plainslow:

Your right. It's not a cigar, but your no Bill Clinton either.

36. Posted by plainslow | September 22, 2006 8:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 08:59

Multiple entries in this on... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Faith+1 | September 22, 2006 9:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

Multiple entries in this one:

1) "Really, sir, your farts do stink and we can prove it."

2) "John Kerry, on the prowl for a younger, hipper trust fund sugar-momma."

3) Kerry: "Which end do I drink from? Never mind, I'll just keep flipping it around."

4) "Sorry, but since Teresa cut my allowance I can't afford both of you."

5) "Hey girls, wanna see my Magic Hat?"

37. Posted by Faith+1 | September 22, 2006 9:15 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:15

Ok, Ok...so if I do it, I g... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Jeremy | September 22, 2006 9:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeremy:

Ok, Ok...so if I do it, I get your vote right?

38. Posted by Jeremy | September 22, 2006 9:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:17

Ahh yes, we used to do beer... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Brian | September 22, 2006 9:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian:

Ahh yes, we used to do beer bongs back when I was crusing up and down the Mekong running CIA ops against Charlie. Those magical moments are seared, I tell you are seared into my memory.

39. Posted by Brian | September 22, 2006 9:19 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:19

No Lindsay Lohan the set fo... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by sentinel | September 22, 2006 9:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
sentinel:

No Lindsay Lohan the set for Herbie Recocked is over there.

40. Posted by sentinel | September 22, 2006 9:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:20

"Lindsay Lohan was more tha... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Editor | September 22, 2006 9:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Editor:

"Lindsay Lohan was more than pleased to introduce MTV's newest voter registration drive - Vote or Pass Out."

41. Posted by Editor | September 22, 2006 9:22 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:22

Dang it, Sentinel.... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by Editor | September 22, 2006 9:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Editor:

Dang it, Sentinel.

42. Posted by Editor | September 22, 2006 9:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:23

"C'mon, Senator...do it for... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by Stander | September 22, 2006 9:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stander:

"C'mon, Senator...do it for ME?...I'll give you a Purple HEAArrrtt..."

43. Posted by Stander | September 22, 2006 9:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:23

Kerry in 2008: "I experimen... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by Jason | September 22, 2006 9:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jason:

Kerry in 2008: "I experimented with the beer bong, but I didn't swallow."

44. Posted by Jason | September 22, 2006 9:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:42

"Is this heaven?""No... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by takefive | September 22, 2006 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
takefive:

"Is this heaven?"
"No, it's Iowa!"

45. Posted by takefive | September 22, 2006 9:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:43

If we stick this here, we c... (Below threshold)

46. Posted by Fwarnt | September 22, 2006 9:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fwarnt:

If we stick this here, we can get even more crap to come out of there.

46. Posted by Fwarnt | September 22, 2006 9:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 09:52

After tweaking his nose in ... (Below threshold)

47. Posted by FreakyBoy | September 22, 2006 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FreakyBoy:

After tweaking his nose in a freak beer bong accident, John Kerry submitted paperwork to the Navy requesting a fourth purple heart.

47. Posted by FreakyBoy | September 22, 2006 10:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:09

So after inserting this end... (Below threshold)

48. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

So after inserting this end, we put soapy water in the other end and voila, we get all the BS out of the politician.

48. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:33 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:33

Sen. Kennedy left this in m... (Below threshold)

49. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

Sen. Kennedy left this in my room, can you return it for me?

49. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:34

No, it's true. I always be... (Below threshold)

50. Posted by Maggie | September 22, 2006 10:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maggie:

No, it's true. I always beer bonged with blondes before I beer bonged with brunettes.

50. Posted by Maggie | September 22, 2006 10:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:36

Sen. Kerry proposed his fir... (Below threshold)

51. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

Sen. Kerry proposed his first major piece of legislation yesterday in a move he says will make college "more rewarding for the students and a better value for the parents". Crtics noted while the bill provides the students with the tools, it doesn't provide them with the substance.

51. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:36

You know I think you two de... (Below threshold)

52. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

You know I think you two definately understand me better than Teresa. How would you like a position on my staff.

52. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:38

I think we are about to see... (Below threshold)

53. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

I think we are about to see a bunch of frightened horses.

53. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:39

Who says the democrats in t... (Below threshold)

54. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
yetanotherjohn:

Who says the democrats in the senate don't have any ideas?

54. Posted by yetanotherjohn | September 22, 2006 10:40 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:40

You look like my daughter. ... (Below threshold)

55. Posted by Robert | September 22, 2006 10:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Robert:

You look like my daughter.

55. Posted by Robert | September 22, 2006 10:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:51

If I were President, you gi... (Below threshold)

56. Posted by SurfinKC | September 22, 2006 10:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SurfinKC:

If I were President, you girls wouldn't have to argue about who gets to use the bong first!

56. Posted by SurfinKC | September 22, 2006 10:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:53

Senator the students were s... (Below threshold)

57. Posted by gmax | September 22, 2006 10:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
gmax:

Senator the students were saying you are a douche bag. I dont believe it, cuz this is a douche bag.

57. Posted by gmax | September 22, 2006 10:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 10:59

"Well, sweetheart, just thi... (Below threshold)

58. Posted by JimK | September 22, 2006 11:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JimK:

"Well, sweetheart, just think of me as a taller, uglier Bill Clinton. *zzzziiiipppppp*

58. Posted by JimK | September 22, 2006 11:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 11:00

John Kerry - Public Enema N... (Below threshold)

59. Posted by Norm | September 22, 2006 11:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm:

John Kerry - Public Enema Number One

A John Kerry supporter shows him the Hugo Chavez Sulphur Eliminator for him to use while delivering his next speech.

59. Posted by Norm | September 22, 2006 11:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 11:16

"Want to see my Silver Star... (Below threshold)

60. Posted by Hermoine | September 22, 2006 11:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hermoine:

"Want to see my Silver Star?"

60. Posted by Hermoine | September 22, 2006 11:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 11:44

"In fact, I swallowed the b... (Below threshold)

61. Posted by Brad | September 22, 2006 11:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brad:

"In fact, I swallowed the beer before I drank it."

61. Posted by Brad | September 22, 2006 11:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 11:45

It's from our Cattle Breedi... (Below threshold)

62. Posted by Window Dresssing | September 22, 2006 11:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Window Dresssing:

It's from our Cattle Breeding Lab but doubles as a beer bong on Saturdays.

62. Posted by Window Dresssing | September 22, 2006 11:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 11:52

John bong silver rides agai... (Below threshold)

63. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 11:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

John bong silver rides again!

63. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 11:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 11:57

If I were president You wou... (Below threshold)

64. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 12:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

If I were president You would be using a smarter more intelligenly designed device.

64. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 12:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:03

It goes in here then goes r... (Below threshold)

65. Posted by SILVER BULLET | September 22, 2006 12:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SILVER BULLET:

It goes in here then goes round and round and comes out here as your most brilliant speech before the senate. Which end to insert? I told you but you were looking at my tits. Honest, I wouldn't pull your leg, Mr. Kerry.

65. Posted by SILVER BULLET | September 22, 2006 12:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:13

That reminds me....you know... (Below threshold)

66. Posted by Rory | September 22, 2006 12:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rory:

That reminds me....you know I was in Vietnam, and I was going up the Mekgong Delta-it was Christmas time and I woke up with one of those in my.......er,

hat!

66. Posted by Rory | September 22, 2006 12:15 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:15

I actually voted for a seco... (Below threshold)

67. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 12:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

I actually voted for a second kegger..before I voted against it.

67. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 12:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:18

Beer bongs,broads and Sprin... (Below threshold)

68. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 12:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

Beer bongs,broads and Springsteen.

Glory Days

68. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 12:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:24

I found this in George Bush... (Below threshold)

69. Posted by MyPetGloat | September 22, 2006 12:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MyPetGloat:

I found this in George Bush's old dorm room next to a couple of eight balls!

69. Posted by MyPetGloat | September 22, 2006 12:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:24

Here Mr. Kerry, take the "I... (Below threshold)

70. Posted by Jack Oneil | September 22, 2006 12:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jack Oneil:

Here Mr. Kerry, take the "I'm going to run and win in 08'" funnel again.

70. Posted by Jack Oneil | September 22, 2006 12:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:34

Take me Senator.Ta... (Below threshold)

71. Posted by fustian | September 22, 2006 12:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Take me Senator.

Take me in a fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan.

71. Posted by fustian | September 22, 2006 12:39 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:39

Senator!Is that a ... (Below threshold)

72. Posted by fustian | September 22, 2006 12:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Senator!

Is that a Swift Boat in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?

72. Posted by fustian | September 22, 2006 12:40 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 12:40

Like I am so glad you lost.... (Below threshold)

73. Posted by Drew | September 22, 2006 1:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Drew:

Like I am so glad you lost..look how much better Iraq is two years later...

73. Posted by Drew | September 22, 2006 1:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:02

To reach everyone who cares... (Below threshold)

74. Posted by Mac Lorry | September 22, 2006 1:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mac Lorry:

To reach everyone who cares about what you say, speak into this end and put the other end in you ear.

74. Posted by Mac Lorry | September 22, 2006 1:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:03

Tiffany Tanner, a biology s... (Below threshold)

75. Posted by work4none | September 22, 2006 1:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
work4none:

Tiffany Tanner, a biology student at Iowa, solicits for some of Senator John Kerry's spittle. "I plan on proving once and for all, by DNA comparison, that Mr. Kerry is in fact the illegitimate son of the late actor Fred Gwynne."

75. Posted by work4none | September 22, 2006 1:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:13

"Here you go, Mr. Clinton..... (Below threshold)

76. Posted by Adjustah | September 22, 2006 1:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Adjustah:

"Here you go, Mr. Clinton..."

76. Posted by Adjustah | September 22, 2006 1:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:14

Betcha can't roll a quarter... (Below threshold)

77. Posted by VagaBond | September 22, 2006 1:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
VagaBond:

Betcha can't roll a quarter down your face into this funnel Mr. Kerry.

77. Posted by VagaBond | September 22, 2006 1:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:14

It's a model of your spine,... (Below threshold)

78. Posted by Mark L | September 22, 2006 1:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mark L:

It's a model of your spine, Senator.

78. Posted by Mark L | September 22, 2006 1:31 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:31

Kerry to Coed:And yo... (Below threshold)

79. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | September 22, 2006 1:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SCSIwuzzy:

Kerry to Coed:
And you say you have a trust fund?
How large?
Really?

Well, let me call my divorce attorney, and you keep drinking till I'm pretty.
A hose and funnel will poll better than gin and raisins...

79. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | September 22, 2006 1:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:35

"I sipped but did not swall... (Below threshold)

80. Posted by La Mano | September 22, 2006 1:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
La Mano:

"I sipped but did not swallow."

80. Posted by La Mano | September 22, 2006 1:38 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:38

"I'm sorry dear was your na... (Below threshold)

81. Posted by vader06 | September 22, 2006 1:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
vader06:

"I'm sorry dear was your name Monica ?...I think you have mistaken me for another Democratic Politician..."

81. Posted by vader06 | September 22, 2006 1:42 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 13:42

Some veterinary students mi... (Below threshold)

82. Posted by P. Buynay | September 22, 2006 2:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
P. Buynay:

Some veterinary students mistake the communist senator for a bloated horse and suggest the fasted way to get rid of all that hot air.

82. Posted by P. Buynay | September 22, 2006 2:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 14:24

Senator John Kerry, smiling... (Below threshold)

83. Posted by Patti | September 22, 2006 2:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Patti:

Senator John Kerry, smiling, at last has something to relieve himself without leaving the podium while giving a "brief" speech

83. Posted by Patti | September 22, 2006 2:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 14:27

A veterinary student mistak... (Below threshold)

84. Posted by P. Bunyan | September 22, 2006 2:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
P. Bunyan:

A veterinary student mistakes the communist senator from Massachusettes for a bloated horse and suggest the fastest way to get rid of all that hot air built up inside him.

84. Posted by P. Bunyan | September 22, 2006 2:29 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 14:29

Gosh Senator, you have a fr... (Below threshold)

85. Posted by Jeff | September 22, 2006 2:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Gosh Senator, you have a freakishly large head!

85. Posted by Jeff | September 22, 2006 2:54 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 14:54

Here ya go Senator, you wil... (Below threshold)

86. Posted by Jeff | September 22, 2006 2:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Here ya go Senator, you will need this when you are trying to blow smoke up voters asses.

86. Posted by Jeff | September 22, 2006 2:56 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 14:56

Okay, Senator, you talk int... (Below threshold)

87. Posted by John in CA | September 22, 2006 4:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John in CA:

Okay, Senator, you talk into this end, I hook this other end up to the turbine, and the hot air will power our little town (and most of Chicago, too) for the next three years

87. Posted by John in CA | September 22, 2006 4:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 16:25

"Senator...You so funny.... (Below threshold)

88. Posted by Porkopolis | September 22, 2006 4:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Porkopolis:

"Senator...You so funny...it's designed to recycle bullsh*t from either end!"

88. Posted by Porkopolis | September 22, 2006 4:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 16:30

"Hey, Mr. Kerry. We want t... (Below threshold)

89. Posted by GrimJack | September 22, 2006 4:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
GrimJack:

"Hey, Mr. Kerry. We want to see if you're really Presidential Material. Pretend you're the President, I'm Monica, and this is a Cigar. And you have to do everything while you talk tough about kicking the Swift Boat Vets' ass on the phone with Theresa!"

89. Posted by GrimJack | September 22, 2006 4:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 16:35

Kerry: "No, Really!! This i... (Below threshold)

90. Posted by GrimJack | September 22, 2006 4:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
GrimJack:

Kerry: "No, Really!! This is my lucky funnel. It was given to me by James Bond when I ferried him on my Swift Boat to the heart of China on a super secret mission that President Kennedy sent me on during my tour in Viet Nam. It is seared into my memory, like the figures from Theresa's bank statements. I didn't want to brag about it during my last campaign because I didn't want to be seen as a show off and distract from the issues."

90. Posted by GrimJack | September 22, 2006 4:43 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 16:43

Can I get me an enema here?... (Below threshold)

91. Posted by Spike | September 22, 2006 4:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Spike:

Can I get me an enema here?

91. Posted by Spike | September 22, 2006 4:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 16:57

Hey, Babe! If you have a co... (Below threshold)

92. Posted by Spike | September 22, 2006 5:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Spike:

Hey, Babe! If you have a couple billion dollars, I'll blow smoke up your ass, too, and then you can be the next Mrs. John Heinz Kerry.

92. Posted by Spike | September 22, 2006 5:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 17:02

"Just a little farther, Joh... (Below threshold)

93. Posted by mesabi | September 22, 2006 5:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
mesabi:

"Just a little farther, John", "Have another drink and climb into this nice warm trunk"

93. Posted by mesabi | September 22, 2006 5:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 17:53

Kumbaya karaoke with Kerry.... (Below threshold)

94. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 6:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

Kumbaya karaoke with Kerry.

94. Posted by 914 | September 22, 2006 6:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 18:16

"This way you can listen wh... (Below threshold)

95. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 22, 2006 9:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"This way you can listen when you're speaking out your a$$."

95. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 22, 2006 9:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 21:24

It's the Beer Bong Deluxe 6... (Below threshold)

96. Posted by tarheelcon | September 22, 2006 9:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tarheelcon:

It's the Beer Bong Deluxe 6000 guranteed to transform you into Senator Kennedy or your money back.

96. Posted by tarheelcon | September 22, 2006 9:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 21:41

Is this what I have to suck... (Below threshold)

97. Posted by jerseychris | September 22, 2006 9:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jerseychris:

Is this what I have to suck sxxt through to get the presidential nomination?

97. Posted by jerseychris | September 22, 2006 9:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 21:41

"You'll love it, it's almos... (Below threshold)

98. Posted by Andrew Paterson | September 22, 2006 10:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Andrew Paterson:

"You'll love it, it's almost a full circle!"

98. Posted by Andrew Paterson | September 22, 2006 10:06 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 22:06

Sen. Kerry discloses how he... (Below threshold)

99. Posted by tulaw | September 22, 2006 10:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tulaw:

Sen. Kerry discloses how he toots his own horn when not giving a campaign speech.

99. Posted by tulaw | September 22, 2006 10:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 22:25

Gosh no, Darlin, way too sm... (Below threshold)

100. Posted by Nylda | September 22, 2006 10:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Nylda:

Gosh no, Darlin, way too small for a sperm siphon.

100. Posted by Nylda | September 22, 2006 10:44 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 22:44

Deep in Cambodia on Christm... (Below threshold)

101. Posted by Jim Addison | September 22, 2006 11:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jim Addison:

Deep in Cambodia on Christmas Day, 1968, Lt. John Kerry relaxes with CIA agents during a rare break in Khmer Rouge fire.

101. Posted by Jim Addison | September 22, 2006 11:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 22, 2006 23:25

"Sweetheart, I'm no Ted Ken... (Below threshold)

102. Posted by Tom Blogical | September 23, 2006 12:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

"Sweetheart, I'm no Ted Kennedy, but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to give me the other end."

102. Posted by Tom Blogical | September 23, 2006 12:03 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 23, 2006 00:03

"Does the beer go in the sa... (Below threshold)

103. Posted by coggieguy | September 23, 2006 12:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
coggieguy:

"Does the beer go in the same end as the Kool Aid? Cheryl?, Shirley? Cindy!"

103. Posted by coggieguy | September 23, 2006 12:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 23, 2006 00:30

Come on, John, don't be a w... (Below threshold)

104. Posted by nyemo | September 23, 2006 12:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
nyemo:

Come on, John, don't be a wuss. George Bush does line of coke with this thang. A coupla beers ain't gonna hurt cha.

104. Posted by nyemo | September 23, 2006 12:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 23, 2006 00:41

"Last time I used one of th... (Below threshold)

105. Posted by La Mano | September 23, 2006 1:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
La Mano:

"Last time I used one of these, I was in Vietnam, you know. I ended up boating in Cambodia on Christmas. I found a magic hat. Would you like to see my magic hat?"

105. Posted by La Mano | September 23, 2006 1:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 23, 2006 01:31

If You hold it for too long... (Below threshold)

106. Posted by 914 | September 23, 2006 1:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

If You hold it for too long dear My perfect DNA will spoil.

106. Posted by 914 | September 23, 2006 1:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 23, 2006 13:12

You should see My new and i... (Below threshold)

107. Posted by 914 | September 23, 2006 1:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
914:

You should see My new and improved mustard dispenser.

107. Posted by 914 | September 23, 2006 1:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 23, 2006 13:16

...ma prima avea ciascu... (Below threshold)

108. Posted by Kent G Budge | September 23, 2006 3:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kent G Budge:

...ma prima avea ciascun la lingua stretta
coi denti verso lor duca per cenno;
ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta."

Inferno, Canto XXI, 137-139

("... but first each pressed his tongue between his teeth at their leader for a signal and he made a trumpet of his rear.")

108. Posted by Kent G Budge | September 23, 2006 3:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 23, 2006 15:11

Senator Kerry: "Why yes, I'... (Below threshold)

109. Posted by schulz | September 24, 2006 12:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
schulz:

Senator Kerry: "Why yes, I'd love to try your beverage ingestion device. May I recommend a 1962 Saint-Emilion Bordeaux?"

109. Posted by schulz | September 24, 2006 12:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 24, 2006 00:46

"Well, young lady, we do ha... (Below threshold)

110. Posted by Ingress | September 24, 2006 10:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ingress:

"Well, young lady, we do have a shared interest. Tell me about your other assets."

110. Posted by Ingress | September 24, 2006 10:36 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 24, 2006 10:36

"Well, yes that was in my t... (Below threshold)

111. Posted by elliot | September 24, 2006 2:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
elliot:

"Well, yes that was in my tour busses gas tank, and no I don't know where your gas cap is"

111. Posted by elliot | September 24, 2006 2:56 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 24, 2006 14:56

I'm sorry John, but in Chic... (Below threshold)

112. Posted by Aaron | September 25, 2006 12:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Aaron:

I'm sorry John, but in Chicago you cant buy 'pate de foie gras' so we figured while you're here...

112. Posted by Aaron | September 25, 2006 12:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 25, 2006 00:32

Update: <... (Below threshold)

113. Posted by Kevin | September 25, 2006 12:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin:

Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entreis. The contest is now closed.

113. Posted by Kevin | September 25, 2006 12:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on September 25, 2006 00:53




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