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Wizbang Halloween Caption Contest

What the heck, it's a good night for a midweek caption contest. Caption this suddenly relevant again picture.


kerryhalloween4.jpg


I'll select a couple finalist this evening and then put those up for a vote tomorrow...


Comments (184)

Compare: when held up for c... (Below threshold)
SCSIwuzzy:

Compare: when held up for comparision, you can plainly see that my makeup is not orange.

Also, only one of these is already hollow, and the other needs to be carved out to become scary.

good timing kev... (Below threshold)
Paul:

good timing kev

I can fit this AND my foot ... (Below threshold)
Retread:

I can fit this AND my foot in my mouth.

You know, education, if you... (Below threshold)
mcg:

You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well.

If you don't, your head swells up this big.

And by the way, check out this huge pumpkin!

Has Kerry heard of YOU TUBE... (Below threshold)
kathie:

Has Kerry heard of YOU TUBE, we have already heard his words, he can't fake it. Too bad Kerry, we heard what we heard.

And now, for my final trick... (Below threshold)
Sue:

And now, for my final trick, watch me stuff this pumpkin into the hole in my head.

No, it's not for a brain tr... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

No, it's not for a brain transplant.

One's a hollow shell filled... (Below threshold)

One's a hollow shell filled with air.

The other's a variety of squash.

"You know, pumpkin, if you ... (Below threshold)
wcgreen:

"You know, pumpkin, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck with a knife and someone carves until you look like a doughy Rush Limbaugh."

....or this one:An... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

....or this one:

And now I'd like to introduce my running mate....

"Can you believe I laid thi... (Below threshold)
J. Craddock:

"Can you believe I laid this the day before Halloween?"

"Dumb and Dumber"<... (Below threshold)

"Dumb and Dumber"

You pick who's who or what's what.

Ann Richards sends Kerry a ... (Below threshold)
Jo:

Ann Richards sends Kerry a gift from the great beyond.

Whats the difference betwee... (Below threshold)
Mainstreet8:

Whats the difference between a pumpkin and US Senator? The pumpkin is actually a fruit. The Senator is actually a vegetable.

"This proves once and for a... (Below threshold)
jack:

"This proves once and for all that I spent Halloween in Cambodia."

My political life is a grea... (Below threshold)

My political life is a great big steaming pile about this big - or small - or not - or until I retract - or you ask me again. Did you know they have these in Vietnam?

"You know, education, if yo... (Below threshold)
jaymaster:

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck as a Democrat."

This is the last friend I'v... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

This is the last friend I've got.

"...And I don't have a plan... (Below threshold)
VagaBond:

"...And I don't have a plan on how to carve this either."

No, i don't apologize. Ju... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

No, i don't apologize. Just be like this pumpkin.... unoffended.

Hey, I can carve up the tro... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Hey, I can carve up the troops faster than this pumpkin!!!

"Look, it's a jack-ass-late... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Look, it's a jack-ass-latern".

"Scary-tough on the outside... (Below threshold)

"Scary-tough on the outside, slimy on the inside. And, a pumpkin."

One was squashed in 2004.</... (Below threshold)
Pat:

One was squashed in 2004.

The other will be squashed into a pie.

Tweedledumb and Tweedledumb... (Below threshold)
sam:

Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber.

Carhartt John shows off The... (Below threshold)
smitch:

Carhartt John shows off The Great Pumpkin grown on the window ledge of his Beacon Hill townhouse.

Knock on it and it and it s... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Knock on it and it and it sounds hollow... the pumpkin does too.

"I voted for Halloween befo... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"I voted for Halloween before I voted against it."

If Bush had offered this to... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

If Bush had offered this to Saddam, we wouldn't need to be in Iraq now....

Wow, I didn't know they mad... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Wow, I didn't know they made an actual Asshat costume!

"As a matter of fact, Tere... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

"As a matter of fact, Teresa did like it. Why do you ask?"

"You know, if you don't stu... (Below threshold)
Clay:

"You know, if you don't study, you'll end up like this pumpkin that we're sending to Iraq."

Those that volunteer for th... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Those that volunteer for the military are dumber than this pumpkin.

"If Only our soldiers were ... (Below threshold)
David:

"If Only our soldiers were as smart as this.

I'm not supposed to say this on the air?"

Kerry and Clinton in 2008!<... (Below threshold)

Kerry and Clinton in 2008!

(The campaign photo.)

See Karl, I'm a real man! N... (Below threshold)
IllTemperedCur:

See Karl, I'm a real man! Not a straw man! Watch me wrestle this typical Iraq vet!

Arrrrgghh! Take that you dummy!

No fair!

Ow! Ow!

UNCLE! UNCLE!

Scary Kerry!... (Below threshold)
George Martin:

Scary Kerry!

"And my stem cells pretty m... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

"And my stem cells pretty much took care of our Halloween decoration needs too."

The size and proportions ar... (Below threshold)
John in CA:

The size and proportions are right, so all that's left is to carve the likeness of his face onto it

-OR-

Republicans fear the gourd; Democrats fear and love the gourd

I'd like to thank Madame Tu... (Below threshold)
IllTemperedCur:

I'd like to thank Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum for the remarkably life-like bust.

Watch while I take my foot ... (Below threshold)
Ed:

Watch while I take my foot out of my mouth and insert this Pumpkin.

I apologize to no man. The... (Below threshold)
Webster:

I apologize to no man. The Republicans would have you believe I had carnal knowledge of this pumpkin when in actuality it was a botched joke about Bush's failed Iraq policy.

My thoughts resemble the in... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

My thoughts resemble the inside of this!!

Senator Kerry, shown here w... (Below threshold)
Sputnik:

Senator Kerry, shown here with his stunt double, is currently filming his new movie "I served in Vietnam."

I'm sorry that you didn't w... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

I'm sorry that you didn't win the "best pumpkin" contest but I voted for this before i voted against it.

This is just like my brain,... (Below threshold)
Phil:

This is just like my brain, large and filled with nothing of substance.

I've had my head up my a... (Below threshold)
Justrand:

I've had my head up my ass so long, shoving THIS up there should be no problem!!

Turkey...pumpkin...all we'r... (Below threshold)
cadrys:

Turkey...pumpkin...all we're missing is cranberry sauce!

School teacher: "And class,... (Below threshold)
DaveD:

School teacher: "And class, this is a picture showing you what I mean when I use the word 'antonym'. On your left (as always) is Massachusetts Senator John F. Kerry; on the right, produce."

The prize-winning pumpkin i... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

The prize-winning pumpkin is shown here with the 2nd place winner on the right....

"What do you mean I cant pu... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"What do you mean I cant put something this big in my mouth? Get a news camera in here"

----------------

"Why when I was in Vietnam we ate pumpkin sandwiches"

-----------------------------

"He does look a bit like John Edwards doesnt he"

----------------------

"Meet the only person smart enough to be my running mate in '08"

------------

"In fact I was the inspiration for the great pumpkin in the Charlie Brown story"

---------------------

"And here we have the only person to vote for Senator Kerry in '08 other than himself"

----------------

"I bet my secret operations hat would look great on him this Halloween"

---------------------

"Here we see Senator Kerry in his pumpkin costume standing next to a cardboard cutout of himself"

-----------

Senator Kerry proudly stands next to his offspring at Father and Son day

This used to be my Presiden... (Below threshold)
glenn:

This used to be my Presidential Limo, didn't it??
didn't it, hey, i'm talking to you.

A little bit more botox and... (Below threshold)
DonH:

A little bit more botox and I will be almost as bright as this pumpkin!

One of these things is not ... (Below threshold)
Dave K:

One of these things is not like the other. One of these things does not belong.....what?... you forgot to add the odd one out.... That wasn't smart of you go join the army.

Teresa, it's time for my su... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Teresa, it's time for my suppository.

""You know, education, if y... (Below threshold)
retired military:

""You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq. OR you could be left standing there as the Halloween joke holding a pumpkin in your hands and the entire world marvels at which has more sense the white head or the orange head."

"Remember, if you're as dum... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

"Remember, if you're as dumb as this pumpkin, you'll end up in Iraq."

You know when I see an ear ... (Below threshold)
JAT:

You know when I see an ear a corn like this - I say, now this is what the American farmer can do when he justs finishes school.

"Can I get me a pumpkin her... (Below threshold)
dendeku:

"Can I get me a pumpkin here?"

"What do you mean there's a... (Below threshold)
dendeku:

"What do you mean there's a tag still on these Carharts?"

If you hollowed out the hea... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

If you hollowed out the head and carved a nose, mouth and eyes it would look almost human. Oh, and it's holding a nice pumpkin.

What do they have in common... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

What do they have in common? Besides IQ I mean...

Kerry: "See this pumpkin? ... (Below threshold)
JimK:

Kerry: "See this pumpkin? Smarter than the average soldier. I should know, because I..."

CROWD: "...SERVED IN VIETNAM - WE KNOW!"

Separated at birth.<p... (Below threshold)
astigafa:

Separated at birth.

-----------------------------------------

Sen. Kerry attempts to demonstrate his personal charisma by holding a pumpkin.

"You see boys and girls, I ... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

"You see boys and girls, I had to serve in Viet Nam because I was as dumb as this..."

"..........and still am!"</... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

"..........and still am!"

It's for my brain transplan... (Below threshold)
Mark L:

It's for my brain transplant -- it's bound to be an improvement.

Stupid is as Stupid does!</... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Stupid is as Stupid does!

or

"Let's see McCain pull one of these out of his ..s!

If I open my butt hole as w... (Below threshold)
Billburz:

If I open my butt hole as wide as I open my mouth, this disappears as fast as my 2008 candidacy.

"I got a pair THIS BIG!"</p... (Below threshold)
BorgQueen:

"I got a pair THIS BIG!"

"Pumpkin: A large orange fr... (Below threshold)

"Pumpkin: A large orange fruit."
- MSN Encarta Dictionary

"John Kerry: A large orange-faced fruit-loop."
- United States Armed Forces

<a href="http://www.rickada... (Below threshold)
John Kerry holds the tragic... (Below threshold)

John Kerry holds the tragically murdered body of his intellectual brother, demanding an apology for the speciesist profiling that causes them to be murdered by the millions

He had a wife but couldn't ... (Below threshold)

He had a wife but couldn't keep her.
So he put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well.

Actually we were seperated ... (Below threshold)
pjs1881:

Actually we were seperated at birth.

"Look! It's almost as big a... (Below threshold)
USMC Pilot:

"Look! It's almost as big as my head!"

I hold here the head of an ... (Below threshold)
retired military:

I hold here the head of an Iraqi citizen. Note the strange color. This is due to his being terrorized by the lazy, ingorant, soldiers who ew have fighting this unjust war. This citizen would have been better off under the rule of Saddam where he would have been allowed to die with dignity/

2nd try..."Of cour... (Below threshold)
Pat:

2nd try...

"Of course I served honorably in Vietnam! This Pumpkin can tell you about the time I saved him from enemy fire!"

(a spin-off from my first one) "Unlike this pumpkin, Kerry can actually be squashed twice"

"Pumpkin?? Where are my gl... (Below threshold)
Howie Felterbush:

"Pumpkin?? Where are my glasses? I thought I was giving Teresa a tushy massage."

Go to school and get an edu... (Below threshold)
Jack Burton:

Go to school and get an education. Otherwise, you'll end up like this pumpkin.

What came first???... (Below threshold)
Paul Hansen:

What came first???

The pumpkin or the moron???

my balls are this big, real... (Below threshold)
andrew feder:

my balls are this big, really

Listen carefully to the sou... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Listen carefully to the sound this pumpkin makes when I drop is the same sound my campaign made when I gave that speech at the college last night.

"Yep...as messed up as I am... (Below threshold)
nogo postal:

"Yep...as messed up as I am..at least I don't make pumkin hollow promises as Commander-in-Chief to our troops caught up in a civil war in Iraq"

"I spent Halloween of '68 g... (Below threshold)

"I spent Halloween of '68 going hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable. I have that memory which is seared -- seared -- in me..."

"And after I scoop out it's... (Below threshold)
RodgerH:

"And after I scoop out it's innards, we'll have the same IQ!"

Poor Mr. Pumpkin flushes br... (Below threshold)
Usful Ijit:

Poor Mr. Pumpkin flushes bright orange in embarrassment as John Kerry tickles his nether regions. Moments later, in a sign of respect, Kerry tips the pumpkin over and pops its stem in his mouth.

--Author: Jim Webb

Everyone gets everything he... (Below threshold)

Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a pumpkin, and for my sins, they gave me one.

"The Bush administration st... (Below threshold)

"The Bush administration still has no plan to carve this pumpkin. I'd also like to add that I voted for funding for knives before voting against them, and the uncarved state of this pumpkin is proof that only dropouts and retards enlist in pumpkin-carving. See the ugly scar on the bottom? Bush's fault...."

Rick Adams had a good one, ... (Below threshold)

Rick Adams had a good one, if you missed it: http://www.rickadams.org/images/kerry.jpg

Of course, it isn't technically a "caption," so it should be disqualified, but it is pretty funny anyway.

"Don't just take my word fo... (Below threshold)
J. Craddock:

"Don't just take my word for it. Here, I give you the senior Senator from Massachusetts."

or

"Look, I'm really beside myself with the blogosphere's reaction to my comments on the military."

Help me carve an evil Bush ... (Below threshold)
tehbmwman:

Help me carve an evil Bush face, will ya?

This pumpkin has a better c... (Below threshold)
Soupy2c2:

This pumpkin has a better chance of becoming President before I do.

Here is an AP photo showing... (Below threshold)

Here is an AP photo showing a wrinkled orange colored empty gourd. And a pumpkin.

And this is what my head lo... (Below threshold)
Kevin Moore:

And this is what my head looks like WITHOUT my hair.

The wonderful effects of BO... (Below threshold)
Myron:

The wonderful effects of BOTOX, before and after.

The gift(served in ...) tha... (Below threshold)
Jim Melton:

The gift(served in ...) that keeps on giving.

"You know, education, if yo... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don't, you get to be in a Wizbangblog.com Caption contest holding a stupid pumpkin."

--------------------

"You see this" (holds up pumpkin)

"This is John Kerry's Brain"

"and this"

Smashes pumpkin in a million pieces.

"This is John Kerry's brain after Vietnam"

"Big? This!? You should se... (Below threshold)
PVD:

"Big? This!? You should seen the EGG I laid yesterday! That was huge!"

You only wish that I would ... (Below threshold)
Henriet Schapelhouman:

You only wish that I would turn into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight

or

I'd rather look like this pumpkin than apologize. What? I already look like this pumpkin?

As big as this is, it's sti... (Below threshold)
stan:

As big as this is, it's still not as big as my dumbass.

"No, really, they're doing ... (Below threshold)
QuantumFizz:

"No, really, they're doing away with Holloween in France and they sold me all they had.. Paid next to nothing for them.. and they told me that if I put them in plastic wrap the things will hold for a year.. The ship arrives in a couple of weeks". Honest. I'm not lying!! You'll see!

You know I served in Viet N... (Below threshold)

You know I served in Viet Nam and I respect the military, little pumpkin pie.

For a $1000 campaign donati... (Below threshold)
jaymaster:

For a $1000 campaign donation, frequent Wizbang! commenter (Lefty) Lee experienced his political wet dream, and had his photo taken alongside his hero, John Kerry.

Ever since Hillary c... (Below threshold)
jaymaster:


Ever since Hillary cast that spell on her after the loss in '04, John needs to be sure to have Theresa out of public view before midnight...

Lurch and Uncle Fester out ... (Below threshold)
brad:

Lurch and Uncle Fester out on the town.

Encouraged by Jimmy Carter'... (Below threshold)

Encouraged by Jimmy Carter's years as a peanut farmer and subsequent presidency, John Kerry seeks to increase his chances by taking up a new trade...

It was Halloween in Cambodi... (Below threshold)
c:

It was Halloween in Cambodia, 1968 -- a special ops mission -- the Seal team leader was Chambers -- W.Chambers -- he tossed me these magic seeds -- they're good luck you know.

Kerry and the pumpkin, so m... (Below threshold)
JamesT:

Kerry and the pumpkin, so much alike. Tough on the outside, soft and squishy with no spine on the inside with little chunky bits that make you wanna spit.

They found this in my pants... (Below threshold)
Robert:

They found this in my pants when I got home from Viet Nam.

I think I'll shove this pum... (Below threshold)
goobaby:

I think I'll shove this pumpkin up my ass now

I still have this magic pum... (Below threshold)
David Spence:

I still have this magic pumpkin given to me in Cambodia by a CIA agent.

Yeap, there's mush in both ... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Yeap, there's mush in both of 'em - and the mush is interchangable....

after experementing persona... (Below threshold)

after experementing personally with stem cell research Kerry produced a horrible orange clone of his own head.

(odly enough the head filled with seeds turned out to be much smarter than the actual Kerry)

That is ONE SCARY PUMPKIN! ... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

That is ONE SCARY PUMPKIN! I can't wait to see how they carve up the other one!!

"A large naked pumpkin ran ... (Below threshold)
David Spence:

"A large naked pumpkin ran happily toward Kerry from a little plot of dirt. The man grabbed the enormous orange orb in his arms, turned it upside down, and put the pumpkin's large turgid stem in his mouth."

Ah, a ventriloquist!! I w... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Ah, a ventriloquist!! I wonder what the pumpkin made him say?

If Bush would just make our... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

If Bush would just make our troops lob these at the terrorists, we wouldn't be spending so much money on the war over there....

Nice jack-o-lantern huh?</p... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Nice jack-o-lantern huh?

What did you say? Turn it around??

If each person would just d... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

If each person would just donate one pumpkin to each terrorist, we wouldn't have this problem....

Jane Fonda and I produced t... (Below threshold)
nehemiah:

Jane Fonda and I produced this after we did it in the manner of Ghengis Khan.

The troops. About as smart... (Below threshold)
Philip:

The troops. About as smart as this rock.

"This is my new wife. My la... (Below threshold)
Hodink:

"This is my new wife. My last wife said I was too stupid to be married to her."

KKKerry's fictional book - ... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

KKKerry's fictional book - $19.95

A political TV ad - $49.95

A going-away-for-good present - priceless.

If my head wasn't so big, t... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

If my head wasn't so big, this would fit....

O .K. there are reasons not... (Below threshold)
chefphil:

O .K. there are reasons not to have cloneing

ELEPHANTS can recognise the... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

ELEPHANTS can recognise themselves in a mirror and use their reflections to explore hidden parts of themselves, a measure of subjective self-awareness that until now has been shown definitively only in humans and apes.

Kerry uses a pumpkin to expose his hidden self....

Guess who in this photo has... (Below threshold)
RADiCalMan:

Guess who in this photo has the higher IQ?

"If I had let this do the t... (Below threshold)

"If I had let this do the talking instead ..."

Needs Ketchup.... (Below threshold)
sentinel:

Needs Ketchup.

"now see, a little botox an... (Below threshold)
markm:

"now see, a little botox and you could smooth this bugger right out"

Some of the comments are br... (Below threshold)
Gingerguy:

Some of the comments are brilliant, glad I don't have to choose the winners.

BE SURE TO VOTE!!!, so Mr. Pumpkin's pals do not control congress.

"I did, I did see the great... (Below threshold)
retired military:

"I did, I did see the great Pumpkin. He looked just like that this. And I would have caught him too but that son of a bitch Secret Service Agent tripped me."

I'm surprised that he's not... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

I'm surprised that he's not hiding behind it....

Oh, I have a choice???... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Oh, I have a choice???

THE PUMPKIN FOR PRESIDENT!!!

It takes a village [pumpkin... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

It takes a village [pumpkin] to hold one....

The one on the left is a mu... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

The one on the left is a much easier target (for jokes).

Wipe that smirk off you fac... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Wipe that smirk off you face Kerry - you haven't beaten that pumpkin yet....

The one on the left is a Bi... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

The one on the left is a Bill Clinton look-alike (see the hair) and the one on the right is a Hillary look-alike (before her facejob in the morning).

Sorry, i just can't quit. ... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Sorry, i just can't quit. This is SOOOOOO easy.

John Kerry finally wins a d... (Below threshold)

John Kerry finally wins a debate.

New public service announce... (Below threshold)

New public service announcement promoting fruits and vegetables (take your pick... as if it matters)

DRUDGE BREAKING: John Kerry... (Below threshold)

DRUDGE BREAKING: John Kerry inherits Ted Kennedy's left butt cheek. Developing

You didn't KNOW I was a ven... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

You didn't KNOW I was a ventriloquist? Well, my left hand is inside so listen to this....

Are my lips moving?

VENTRILOQUIST KERRY: Hi, ... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

VENTRILOQUIST KERRY: Hi, I brought a friend along with me today.
PUMPKIN: I'm not your friend. ACORN made me vote for you.

I will NOT stand by and all... (Below threshold)
b:

I will NOT stand by and allow a bunch of chicken-hawk republicans smash this pumpkinn - I mean my reputation.

Today, this is an allegory ... (Below threshold)
b:

Today, this is an allegory for my brain. Tomorrow, an allegory for my career.

PumpkinHeads 4... (Below threshold)
914:

PumpkinHeads 4

Sewing the see's of egotism.

Sorry that was supposed to... (Below threshold)
914:

Sorry that was supposed to read seed's not see's. Its early.

See You military brat's. I ... (Below threshold)
914:

See You military brat's. I graduated near the middle of My class and here I am in Iraq picking pumpkin's for a livin..Anyone know where I can get Me a carving liscense?

Kerry: Calm down already, I... (Below threshold)
914:

Kerry: Calm down already, I only want one picture!!

Pumpkin: Let Me go You tomato killer!

DRUDGEBREAKING: Once believ... (Below threshold)

DRUDGEBREAKING: Once believed to be only a myth these newly released photographs provide proof that the elusive Ass-Squash does exist.

what's happening above the ... (Below threshold)
rodney dill:

what's happening above the terrified Shih Tzu from the last contest

I have as much of a chance ... (Below threshold)
Ace:

I have as much of a chance of becoming President as I have of passing this out my butt.

Kerry on the right before b... (Below threshold)
914:

Kerry on the right before botox.

Kerry on the left after botox.

'06 Election returns:... (Below threshold)
JohnMc:

'06 Election returns:

- Kerry, 1 vote.
- Pumpkin, 4328 votes.

Noting voting irregularities, lawyers for the Kerry camp stated "We believe that the Pumpkin Coalition were consorting with ACORN's. We will be filing a temporary injunction on the results."

News at 11....

"Me & the Mrs... REPORTING ... (Below threshold)

"Me & the Mrs... REPORTING FOR DUTY!"

See this scar here? This i... (Below threshold)
kbiel:

See this scar here? This is how I earned my purple hearts.

This, America, is a waterme... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

This, America, is a watermelon....

ooops, i mean a pumpkin - b... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

ooops, i mean a pumpkin - but I will NOT apologize!!!

Yes, I know I'm a big pussy... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Yes, I know I'm a big pussy, but I have great hair, plus Mommy TaRaZa gives me a weekly allowance. See what I bought this week.

Can I climb in this and hid... (Below threshold)
how do you do ?:

Can I climb in this and hide?

Hey look....Hillary's ass b... (Below threshold)
oh Hillary!:

Hey look....Hillary's ass before plastic surgery!

"I'm told it's used in a ri... (Below threshold)
Brad:

"I'm told it's used in a ritual of the common people, the stupid ones. I believe it has something to do with pretending to be something you're not and getting candy for it. Perhaps my team should research this so I can be up on it."

"Can you believe it?!?!" W... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

"Can you believe it?!?!" With all her millions, this is the best pumpkin my wife could get!!!!

....and the winner of the J... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

....and the winner of the John F. Kerry look alike contest is....

Spittin' Image... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Spittin' Image

"Can someone PLEASE tell Di... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

"Can someone PLEASE tell Dick Cheney that he's no William Tell and I'm not gonna put this on my head!"

"This is where I store my b... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

"This is where I store my brains."

Yes, I did spend Christmas ... (Below threshold)
scotty:

Yes, I did spend Christmas in Cambodia but this punkin reminds me that I also spent Halloween there. Oh the memory of those young Cambodian kids Trick-or-Treating is Seared, SEARDED into my memory.

"OK now, which is the fruit... (Below threshold)
radiCalMan:

"OK now, which is the fruit and which is the vegetable?"

Notice that his mouth is sh... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Notice that his mouth is shut???

"I didn't steal it! I got ... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

"I didn't steal it! I got this in the neighborhood of make-believe near the castle from Mr. McFeely..."

After successful outpatient... (Below threshold)
Don:

After successful outpatient surgery, John Kerry displays his latest polyp.

Tahrayza: "Is that a banana... (Below threshold)
Bungalowlife:

Tahrayza: "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

JFK: "Ce n'est pas un banane, ma cherie, c'est un tres grand courgette! Quel surprise!"

Pumpkin and Scarecrow set f... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

Pumpkin and Scarecrow set for $149.95

last one, free delivery....

The pumpkin apologized....<... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

The pumpkin apologized....

"Take the picture quick! ... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

"Take the picture quick! This thing is heavy and I'm sweating under the spotlights with this coat on."

I've got to tell Al Gore th... (Below threshold)
aardvark:

I've got to tell Al Gore that this is proof of global warming. We grow really big peaches here in Massachusetts since the growing season is longer.

(sorry if this was taken al... (Below threshold)
retired military:

(sorry if this was taken already"

"You know I voted for Halloween before I voted against it"

"This is the gallstone that... (Below threshold)

"This is the gallstone that I effortlessly passed!"

This is a pumpkin. This i... (Below threshold)
steak111111:

This is a pumpkin. This is your mind on stupidity.

"Unlike me, this pumpkin wo... (Below threshold)
crajay:

"Unlike me, this pumpkin won't begin to smell until November 7."

... and if your arthritis i... (Below threshold)
ConanInSeattle:

... and if your arthritis is really bad soak one of these in gin, but you only have to eat one a day.




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