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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, delivers remarks at a gathering celebrating her election as the first woman speaker of the House of Representatives, Jan. 4, 2007, in Washington. The spotlight belonged to Nancy Pelosi on Thursday as she became the first woman in U.S. history to stand at the head of the House of Representatives, second in line to the presidency. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.


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Comments (119)

To back up her assertion th... (Below threshold)
LJD:

To back up her assertion that she can lick any man, the Speaker shows how she might handle one that is thirty feet tall.

My head can get about this ... (Below threshold)
jpm100:

My head can get about this big before it will explode.

"This is about the size of ... (Below threshold)
hermie:

"This is about the size of the various loopholes we'll be placing in the 'ethics' and 'campaign finance reform' legislation."

Flashing Vulcan gang signs,... (Below threshold)
smitch:

Flashing Vulcan gang signs, Speaker Pelosi signals Spock to lower the defense shields.

After we bend Cheney over t... (Below threshold)
trippin:

After we bend Cheney over the exam table, we'll insert a protoscope to see if he's hiding any subpoenaed documents.

Nancy Pelosi describing Dic... (Below threshold)
Eric:

Nancy Pelosi describing Dick Cheney.

"And this is the difference... (Below threshold)
Weegie:

"And this is the difference between our campaign promises and what we're actually going to deliver. Don't tell me you're still waiting for Clinton's middle-class tax cuts?"

"Before my facelift, my mou... (Below threshold)
Palmateer:

"Before my facelift, my mouth could open this wide."

Hahahah Smitch, that one ac... (Below threshold)
Vincent:

Hahahah Smitch, that one actually made me laugh! LOL

Rumor is that Dick Cheney i... (Below threshold)

Rumor is that Dick Cheney is this long, but he's not. However, he is this wide.

I used to have one this lon... (Below threshold)
Bud:

I used to have one this long....

Did you hear about the abor... (Below threshold)

Did you hear about the abortion doctor who pulled a baby this far out of the womb before sticking a pair of scissors in its neck and sucking out its brain?

Vulcan Pelosi(notice han... (Below threshold)
Diane:

Vulcan Pelosi(notice hands)closed yesterday's House session with the following before Scottie beamed her up:

"Peace and long life... for the children!"

During the press conference... (Below threshold)
Sheik Yur Bouty:

During the press conference to introduce her as the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi demonstrates the proper technique for grabing her hips as you pucker up to kiss her ass.

The bong was this big.... (Below threshold)
bill:

The bong was this big.

My plastic surgeon says he ... (Below threshold)

My plastic surgeon says he can give me a shlong
this long to match my big brass balls.

The syringe of Botox the Do... (Below threshold)
Imhotep:

The syringe of Botox the Doctor used was about this big.

"Yes I specifically designe... (Below threshold)

"Yes I specifically designed this mic so it wouldn't look like a phallic symbol."

San Fran Nan comments on th... (Below threshold)
Cybrludite:

San Fran Nan comments on the drunken Marine who banged her last night.

In order to prove she is th... (Below threshold)
Imhotep:

In order to prove she is the most powerful woman in America, Nancy Pelosi uses her Vulcan Cold Fusion technique to fuse two microphones heads into one.

Why'd they make that Muppet... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Why'd they make that Muppet out of leather?

You can dress up a howler m... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

You can dress up a howler monkey, but it's still going to shriek incoherently and sling feces.

Nancy Pelosi describing her... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

Nancy Pelosi describing herself.

I, for one, welcome our new... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted Speaker of the House I can be useful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

Okay, who wants to play 'Ca... (Below threshold)
elliot:

Okay, who wants to play 'Cat's Cradle' with me?

"We're THIS close to citing... (Below threshold)
nogo postal:

"We're THIS close to citing Alberto Gonzalaz for contmpt if he doesn't provide torture documents to Leahy's committee."

Was it that big?... (Below threshold)
ron:

Was it that big?

We're going to keep our cam... (Below threshold)
Gianni:

We're going to keep our campaign promises for about as long as it takes for a speeding bullet to go this far!

You got beaten by a woman b... (Below threshold)
MyPetGloat:

You got beaten by a woman by this much.

"Oooh Oohh, Mr. Kotttter...... (Below threshold)
Seth:

"Oooh Oohh, Mr. Kotttter... you see, Sweathogs can be elected to office!"

"I held Vince Foster's head... (Below threshold)
moseby:

"I held Vince Foster's head like this while hillary pulled the trigger."

Not only was it a rat, but ... (Below threshold)
Jack Burton:

Not only was it a rat, but a rat with a dick this big.

Now...take the Kool-aid lik... (Below threshold)
pretzel_logic:

Now...take the Kool-aid like this and drink..

...and then I had a penis t... (Below threshold)
billburz:

...and then I had a penis this big added.

N. Pelosi describing her preparatory steps for her upcoming job.

Yes, Mine is that big!... (Below threshold)
Mnemosyne:

Yes, Mine is that big!

Ah haa! I'll get you my p... (Below threshold)
Diane:

Ah haa! I'll get you my pretty and your little dog Barney!!

And I am going to wrap my h... (Below threshold)
Scott:

And I am going to wrap my hands around Georgie Porgie's neck just like this

Skeletor's mom.... (Below threshold)

Skeletor's mom.

I'll be bringing the new in... (Below threshold)
c:

I'll be bringing the new intern from accounting to the after-party party. Things go right I'll be showing him my "O" face, you know:

Ohhh! Ohhh! Ohhh!

In a career broadening move... (Below threshold)
MunDane:

In a career broadening move The first FEAMLE Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, who you know is female.

And the Speaker of the House.

So the speaker of the house, female, does her mime impression of blowing a bubble for the press. Who are impressed that the Speaker of the House, and a female one, is that talented. The first female Speaker of the House then entertained the corps by doing the "trapped in an invisble box" and "walking against the wind" schtick. The first Female Speaker of the House has many talents.

And NANCY POLOSI gives us a... (Below threshold)
spurwing plover:

And NANCY POLOSI gives us another demacratic fish story THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY WAS TEN TIMES BIGGER THEN THIS AND THE GOP WANTS YOUR KIDS TO STARVE

My penis is THIS big!... (Below threshold)
Justrand:

My penis is THIS big!

I think her face has locked... (Below threshold)
Dave:

I think her face has locked up!

The new Nancy Pelosi blow-u... (Below threshold)
John in CA:

The new Nancy Pelosi blow-up doll was unveiled yesterday. As promised, it's even more life-like than the real Pelosi.

Nancy mimicking what what s... (Below threshold)
P. Bunyan:

Nancy mimicking what what she'd do if Bill Clinton dropped his pants in front of her.

I can only think for this l... (Below threshold)
BLUESHARPER:

I can only think for this long!

I felt about this small aft... (Below threshold)
Jo:

I felt about this small after that humiliating Murtha fiasco just a few days after the election.

I told Jane Harman if she e... (Below threshold)
Jo:

I told Jane Harman if she even takes this much of a step in my direction, I'll slap her with a restraining order.

I want the "WHOLE ENCHILADA... (Below threshold)
jab:

I want the "WHOLE ENCHILADA!"

Even Democrat Porn is borin... (Below threshold)
Timmer:

Even Democrat Porn is boring.

This is how far I can go be... (Below threshold)

This is how far I can go before Hillary gets annoyed!

Now tihs is the point I rea... (Below threshold)
loaner1967:

Now tihs is the point I really want you to get...I am a complete Attention Whore.

Nancy Pelosi acts out how N... (Below threshold)

Nancy Pelosi acts out how NPR and CNN have been fellating the Democrats.

Speaker Pelosi shows off he... (Below threshold)
IllTemperedCur:

Speaker Pelosi shows off her kung fu, claiming that Rumsfeld's "Grimace Palm" fighting style is no match for her "Leaping Vulcan Whore" technique.

Hastert's gavel is this big... (Below threshold)
Sayhey_DK:

Hastert's gavel is this big, and I can't wait to get my hands wrapped around it!

Nancy is showing us how big... (Below threshold)
Chip:

Nancy is showing us how big she thinks the country of Iraq is.

SanFranNan proves rigor mor... (Below threshold)
Gianni:

SanFranNan proves rigor mortis of the face and hands sets in once a person is proven to be brain dead?

Bwahahahahaha! It's mine. I... (Below threshold)
Clay:

Bwahahahahaha! It's mine. It's all MINE, I tell you.

My head rquires a crown at ... (Below threshold)
JD:

My head rquires a crown at least this big.

The marble ceiling I single... (Below threshold)
Insomniac:

The marble ceiling I single-handedly broke through was THIS FRIGGIN' THICK!

Speaker Pelosi responds to ... (Below threshold)
Insomniac:

Speaker Pelosi responds to Barbara Walters' question: If your ego were a person, how big would its pinky toes be?

"Oh crap....my...lips...are... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Oh crap....my...lips...are...stuck..."

It was made of glass...abou... (Below threshold)
CZ:

It was made of glass...about this long...doesn't need batteries...and it gets to places Paul has never been. It was so nice of Hillary to share it with me.

"It's this big, and it fits... (Below threshold)
drjohn:

"It's this big, and it fits- even sideways."

On the plus side: At least ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

On the plus side: At least she's been through menopause. Hmm, scratch that...

"Skeletor makes his first a... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Skeletor makes his first address to the House..."

"I promise to run the most ... (Below threshold)

"I promise to run the most ethical congress ever"

what about William Jefferson?

"ok, aside from that starting now"

what about Steny Hoyer and John Murtha?

"ok, aside from that starting now"

Nancy Pelosi's music video,... (Below threshold)
VagaBond:

Nancy Pelosi's music video, "Who Let the Dogs Out" debuts on MTV.

When asked if she considere... (Below threshold)
_Mike_:

When asked if she considered herself a child of the 60's, Pelosi replied that she was a child of every decade while starting to break dance by doing the 'robot'.

Welcome, young Skywalker. I... (Below threshold)
Headzero:

Welcome, young Skywalker. I have been expecting you. You'll no longer need *those*. Guards, leave us. I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call *me* master.

Cheney might have nine diff... (Below threshold)

Cheney might have nine different ways to kill you, Pelosi only needs one.

Nancy Pelosi demonstrates h... (Below threshold)
_Mike_:

Nancy Pelosi demonstrates how she used her kung fu to defeat the other would be Speakers to become the new MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE.. erm..ah. Speaker of the House.

OOOH What a pretty gavel. I... (Below threshold)

OOOH What a pretty gavel. I must bang it.

"So, once we left the main ... (Below threshold)
SCSIwuzzy:

"So, once we left the main party she rolled up the sleeve of her flannel shirt, and showed off the tatoo of a ruler that went from her knuckles to her elbow. She bet me she could get at least this far, if we only had some KY, or in a pinch, Wesson oil. And I thought to myself, what the hell, you only live once."

"I didn't run as a woman, I... (Below threshold)
Faith+1:

"I didn't run as a woman, I ran again as a seasoned politician and experienced legislator."

"It takes a woman to clean House."

"Two thirds of the public have absolutely no idea who I am. I see that as a strength."

So back in 1973 I wa... (Below threshold)
Tom:


So back in 1973 I was holding Jerry Garcia just like this and you know what he said? He said, "Nancy, you are the most powerful woman in America." Fate, huh...

Speaker Pelosi breaks into ... (Below threshold)
Tango:

Speaker Pelosi breaks into a rendition of Kung Fu Fighting while explaining the new Democratic strategy on Iraq, singing:

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting - hugh
Those kids were fast as lighting - ha
In fact it was a little bit frightening - hugh
But they fought with expert timing. - ha

Sexy Kung Foo Fighter
Let me take you higher...

... and I will huff, and I ... (Below threshold)
ijosha:

... and I will huff, and I will puff, and I will blow your house down!

Sorry -- that was supposed ... (Below threshold)
ijosha:

Sorry -- that was supposed to be "House" (with a capital H).

"Swear to God, before the p... (Below threshold)
Mitchell:

"Swear to God, before the plastic surgery, my ass was this big!"

Botox? This much.... (Below threshold)
Milo:

Botox? This much.

Nancy: "OK, Republicans on ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Nancy: "OK, Republicans on this side of the aisle, now you sing!"

Republicans (singing): "Now is a time of great decision / Are we to stay or up and quit? / There's no avoiding this conclusion: / Our town is turning into shit. Aaaaa-men."

(See if you get that reference Tom Biological. ;-)

"Help! I can't close them!... (Below threshold)
brobin:

"Help! I can't close them!"

Peter F.,Pelosi do... (Below threshold)
IllTemperedCur:

Peter F.,

Pelosi does a mean Heady Lamarr...

That's HEADLY!!!!

"Now is a time of ... (Below threshold)
Insomniac:
"Now is a time of great decision / Are we to stay or up and quit? / There's no avoiding this conclusion: / Our town is turning into shit. Aaaaa-men."

What is Blazing Saddles, Alex?

Read My lips.....no new tax... (Below threshold)
914:

Read My lips.....no new taxes!

My Kung-Foo is strong! Your... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

My Kung-Foo is strong! Your Kung-Foo is weak!

You call yourself a Congres... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

You call yourself a Congressman you son of a bitch?

"Yes Madame Speaker, Dolly ... (Below threshold)

"Yes Madame Speaker, Dolly Parton not withstanding, you now have the biggest boobs."

"And we're going to miss ou... (Below threshold)
Weegie:

"And we're going to miss our ethics target by thiiiiis much."

Who can give me more botox?... (Below threshold)
Vegas Sal:

Who can give me more botox?????????????????

I'm gonna show Hastert My O... (Below threshold)

I'm gonna show Hastert My OH Face

Nancy Pelosi, The First Wom... (Below threshold)
DD:

Nancy Pelosi, The First Woman Speaker of the House and the only Democrat with any measurable amount of testosterone blowing more HOT AIR

Avid harmonica player Nancy... (Below threshold)

Avid harmonica player Nancy Pelsoi attempted to use her giant "Hummer" instrument but accidentally left her harp in San Francisco.

My cock is HUGE!... (Below threshold)
billy:

My cock is HUGE!

Who threw that water on Me?... (Below threshold)
914:

Who threw that water on Me? Im melting..... melting ohhh My beautiful wickedness....

"Everybody was Kung-Fo figh... (Below threshold)
Chuck:

"Everybody was Kung-Fo fighting, they were fast as lightning"....

Live Long and Prosper....</... (Below threshold)
Bill:

Live Long and Prosper....

If I have my picture taken ... (Below threshold)
trippin:

If I have my picture taken with my hands out like this, I'm sure that somewhere out in cyberspace it'll expose a bunch of sexually frustrated right wing perverts commenting inanely in some blog...

" Do you like my pearl neck... (Below threshold)

" Do you like my pearl necklace? This is how you get one."

Attention: Must be at least... (Below threshold)

Attention: Must be at least this long to ride.

Nancy Pelosi, a Level 1 Wiz... (Below threshold)
No One Of Consequence:

Nancy Pelosi, a Level 1 Wizard, threatens to unleash a Burning Hands spell against her political foes.

Gesturing like Leona Bobbit... (Below threshold)
elliot:

Gesturing like Leona Bobbitt, Nancy indicates what might happen if anybody crosses her.

Correction: make that Loren... (Below threshold)
elliot:

Correction: make that Lorena Bobbitt...

Pelosi about the Democrat v... (Below threshold)

Pelosi about the Democrat voting bloc: "So I thought to myself, 'Ohh, baby, you're *so* talented...and they are *so* DUMB.'"

Does that answer your question, Peter F.? ;-)

SCSIwuzzy...wow. Trying to remove that image now.

Pelosi playing Iraq, Paper,... (Below threshold)

Pelosi playing Iraq, Paper, Scissors.

"I can't believe my head us... (Below threshold)

"I can't believe my head used to be that small!"

Nancy Pelosi prepares to re... (Below threshold)

Nancy Pelosi prepares to reward the MSM for their role in the midterm elections. She is quoted as saying, "Just don't grab my ears, I know what I am doing."

Speaker of the House Nancy ... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi reacts when an intoxicated Rick Sutcliffe announces that George Clooney is on his way to Congress to get everybody to go over there and solve that thing.

And with me tonight is the ... (Below threshold)

And with me tonight is the invisible man...

"You're the illogical </... (Below threshold)

"You're the illogical ones, you GOP slime. I'm this close to bannishing you to the farthest planet" declared Nancy Pelosi, as she gave her Vulcan hand greeting.

"I sense something. A prese... (Below threshold)

"I sense something. A presence I've not felt since..."

"Yep the Cowboy's receiver ... (Below threshold)

"Yep the Cowboy's receiver was 'bout this shy of the first down."

My balls are this much bigg... (Below threshold)

My balls are this much bigger than Clinton's - and I ain't talking about Bill.

In order to expand her poli... (Below threshold)

In order to expand her political accessability, Pelosi integrates a "Cooking with Nancy" segment into the House agenda schedule so that the American People can eat it everyday. BAM

Unfortunately her own party... (Below threshold)

Unfortunately her own party had not counted on Pelosi being able to recite Vogon poetry with such grammatic precision.

♫One toke ov... (Below threshold)


One toke over the line, sweet Jesus
One toke over the line
Sitting downtown
In a railway station
One toke over the line

Speaker of the House Nancy ... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi addresses a gathering of Democratic party members wearing the only type of peal necklace she will ever have around her neck.

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.




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