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Naming names

Posted by Jay Tea

Published: January 20, 2007 - 5:00 AM

An acquaintance of mine was agonizing over a new vacuum cleaner. More specifically, she is the type that needs to anthropomorphize everything, and apparently the poor thing needed a name. I promptly came up with three suggestions:

1) "Herbert."
B) "S.O.S.," or "Sultan Of Suck."
III) "Monica."

Anyone else got any bright ideas?

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Comments (29)

She should have bought one ... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Lizzie | January 20, 2007 5:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lizzie:

She should have bought one of these. The anthropomorphising comes as part of the deal. ;-)

1. Posted by Lizzie | January 20, 2007 5:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 05:43

"Herbert" is no good since ... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Jess | January 20, 2007 6:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jess:

"Herbert" is no good since that was the insult used by the space hippies in that episode of the original Star Trek series.

Instead, I recommend H.E.R.B.I.E., the name of Mr. Fantastic's robot that replaced the Human Torch in the 1970s FF cartoon series.

2. Posted by Jess | January 20, 2007 6:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 06:59

She could call it troll. Tr... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by PorkSaladSandwich | January 20, 2007 7:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
PorkSaladSandwich:

She could call it troll. Trolls definitely suck.

3. Posted by PorkSaladSandwich | January 20, 2007 7:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 07:25

Sorry to post off topic but... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Mr. Serious | January 20, 2007 7:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mr. Serious:

Sorry to post off topic but Just felt a mild earthquake here in Seoul Korea. This means that:

1) Korea just had a quake, which is really very rare.
2) Japan just had a pretty big quake (nothing up on the seismic pages yet)
3) KJI just popped another nuke (pretty unlikely) we didn't feel the last one.

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

4. Posted by Mr. Serious | January 20, 2007 7:41 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 07:41

Don't discount a fourth opt... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Mr. Serious | January 20, 2007 7:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mr. Serious:

Don't discount a fourth option: Delirium Tremens.

5. Posted by Mr. Serious | January 20, 2007 7:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 07:44

The _______ power vacuum.. ... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Steve Crickmore | January 20, 2007 8:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve Crickmore:

The _______ power vacuum.. You fill in the blanks! .. Pelosi? How bout 'The Bush/2007 power vacuum'?

6. Posted by Steve Crickmore | January 20, 2007 8:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 08:27

How about:1. Ross ... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Tom Blogical | January 20, 2007 9:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

How about:

1. Ross (You know..."giant sucking sound")
2. Ah-nuhld The Dirtinator (or just The Dirtinator)
3. The Republican 2008 Presidential list of choices. For obvious reasons.
4. V.I.N.C.E.N.T. (Robot from the book/movie The Black Hole)
5. Mustang Sally (Because I love the song)

7. Posted by Tom Blogical | January 20, 2007 9:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 09:48

Depending upon her politica... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by epador | January 20, 2007 10:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
epador:

Depending upon her political persuasion:

Frank

or

Foley?

8. Posted by epador | January 20, 2007 10:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 10:29

Just call it the DNC. ... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Brian | January 20, 2007 11:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian:

Just call it the DNC.

9. Posted by Brian | January 20, 2007 11:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 11:16

How about "Jimmy Carter?"</... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by JAT | January 20, 2007 11:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAT:

How about "Jimmy Carter?"

10. Posted by JAT | January 20, 2007 11:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 11:29

I suggest "pucker puss" (le... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by jhow66 | January 20, 2007 11:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jhow66:

I suggest "pucker puss" (lee lee)

11. Posted by jhow66 | January 20, 2007 11:35 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 11:35

H.R.Suckin'Stuff, Vacula, M... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by bryanD | January 20, 2007 11:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
bryanD:

H.R.Suckin'Stuff, Vacula, Mikey ("he'll eat anything")

12. Posted by bryanD | January 20, 2007 11:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 11:39

How about....."Bef... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by Arcticman Speaks! | January 20, 2007 12:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Arcticman Speaks!:

How about.....

"Before we got married"

13. Posted by Arcticman Speaks! | January 20, 2007 12:10 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 12:10

Pornstar.... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by jpm100 | January 20, 2007 1:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jpm100:

Pornstar.

14. Posted by jpm100 | January 20, 2007 1:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 13:19

How about Jodi.Gave ... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by pretzel_logoc | January 20, 2007 1:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
pretzel_logoc:

How about Jodi.
Gave the best head that I recall and to all my friends!

15. Posted by pretzel_logoc | January 20, 2007 1:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 13:41

Hillary... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Bill M | January 20, 2007 2:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill M:

Hillary

16. Posted by Bill M | January 20, 2007 2:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 14:26

Vacuum has 2 Us=W. Dubbyah... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by woody | January 20, 2007 4:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
woody:

Vacuum has 2 Us=W. Dubbyah not such a bad name. 3 Us in Latin, now that U think about it. How 'bout Trippyuh?

17. Posted by woody | January 20, 2007 4:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 16:24

I second "Hillary"... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Bob Jones | January 20, 2007 4:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bob Jones:

I second "Hillary"

18. Posted by Bob Jones | January 20, 2007 4:28 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 16:28

let's see it sucks up dirt ... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by scott | January 20, 2007 5:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scott:

let's see it sucks up dirt and spits it back out in the same fashion over and over again.

how about the Media.

19. Posted by scott | January 20, 2007 5:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 17:12

Tell her to buy a Dyson and... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Steve | January 20, 2007 8:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steve:

Tell her to buy a Dyson and the name will suddenly become unimportant even for your friend............

Dyson

Nothing sucks like a Dyson, not the best marketing slogan, but it's true..........

20. Posted by Steve | January 20, 2007 8:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 20:12

how 'bout "jhow66 on his kn... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by slingshot | January 20, 2007 8:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
slingshot:

how 'bout "jhow66 on his knees in the men's room on saturday night"?

21. Posted by slingshot | January 20, 2007 8:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 20:24

"slingshot"? hmmm p'p' by a... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by jhow66 | January 20, 2007 9:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jhow66:

"slingshot"? hmmm p'p' by another "sock". Only a queer could come up with that kind of response.

22. Posted by jhow66 | January 20, 2007 9:40 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 21:40

Nah Jhow66. Not all queers... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | January 20, 2007 10:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SCSIwuzzy:

Nah Jhow66. Not all queers are morons, nor all morons queer.
Tom: Maximilian is better. He was the evil robot that sucked into the hole. Vincent escaped.

23. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | January 20, 2007 10:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 20, 2007 22:26

Unmarried Woman... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Dave G. | January 21, 2007 8:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave G.:

Unmarried Woman

24. Posted by Dave G. | January 21, 2007 8:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 21, 2007 08:20

My wife bought a trashcan w... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Billll | January 21, 2007 1:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Billll:

My wife bought a trashcan with an automaticlly opening lid. You hold your offering up to its electronic snout, and the maw gapes open to accept it. I've glued in some 'teeth' and named it 'Offler'.
Pratchet fans will understand.

25. Posted by Billll | January 21, 2007 1:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 21, 2007 13:17

I love my Dyson Animal (the... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by kimsch | January 21, 2007 4:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kimsch:

I love my Dyson Animal (the purple one). I have three cats, a Siberian, and a Shih Tzu. The Shih Tzu's the only one that doesn't shed.

I vote for Monica for the name... That's why Bubba went for her, Hillary wouldn't...

26. Posted by kimsch | January 21, 2007 4:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 21, 2007 16:09

SCSI:Exactly! You... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Tom Blogical | January 21, 2007 4:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

SCSI:

Exactly! You don't want a vacuum that sucks itself into oblivion! V.I.N.C.E.N.T. was the more useful one. (:-D)

27. Posted by Tom Blogical | January 21, 2007 4:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 21, 2007 16:47

Interesting thing about vac... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by cryptoref | January 21, 2007 7:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
cryptoref:

Interesting thing about vaccums,

When they suck they don't suck
When they don't suck they suck

28. Posted by cryptoref | January 21, 2007 7:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 21, 2007 19:48

I don't know if this would ... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Carl | January 23, 2007 12:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Carl:

I don't know if this would qualify, but my wife and I have an in-joke where whenever we come across something or someone that sucks in our opinion, we say they have (or it has) committed the "Hoover Maneuver."

29. Posted by Carl | January 23, 2007 12:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on January 23, 2007 00:58


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