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Concerned Reflection from The Huffington Post

As is so oft the case, we, the crack young staff of "The Hatemonger's Quarterly," found ourselves reading The Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington's example of Internet egomania. Naturally, we regularly peruse the ole' Huff Po in order to bask in the intellectually serious lucubrations to be found there.

And, as usual, we were not disappointed. On the contrary: Within a few seconds of searching around the Huffy Po, we spotted a learned musing titled "If Only Doug Feith Had Big Tits." We know what you're thinking, dear reader: With a title like that, it has to be thoughtful.

This little piece was penned by a fellow called Marty Kaplan. As his Huff Po bio makes clear, Mr. Kaplan is both director of the Norman Lear Center and the associate dean of the USC Annenberg School for Communication.

Wow: A dean of communications expatiating on a busty Douglas Feith. That is very impressive. No wonder Mr. Kaplan has made such strides in the academic rat race. He certainly has a way with words.

But we needn't speak for Mr. Kaplan. Rather, we'll let his charming "post" speak for itself. Here's the first of his two-paragraph opus:

If Doug Feith looked like Courtney Love's bad dream of Marilyn Monroe, would the cable "news" networks clear their schedules when evidence of his manipulation of pre-war intelligence hit the wires? If "the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the earth," as Gen. Tommy Franks called Feith, were a now-dead Playmate, would Wolf go wall-to-wall with the story of the neocon Fifth Column within the Pentagon?

Ah, yes: Unnecessary expletives, ad hominem attacks, the labeling of political opponents as members of a "Fifth Column"--here's the stuff of a serious professor of communications. With a guy like Marty Kaplan at the head of a communications school, one hardly need wonder why mainstream media outfits are in such a state of crisis.

Now, we, the crack young staff of "The Hatemonger's Quarterly," must admit that the obsessive television coverage of Anna Nicole Smith's death has been more than a mite enraging. But we don't think that it warrants the sophomoric ideological effusions of Marty Kaplan, a dean at a communications school.

Gee: We thought that our buddies on the Left hated it when people questioned their patriotism. And here we have Marty Kaplan--a prime mover-and-shaker in that storied Walter Mondale presidential campaign--calling neoconservatives a "Fifth Column." Perhaps Mr. Kaplan can pen another moronic screed attempting to hammer away at that seeming contradiction.

(Note: The crack young staff normally "weblog" at "The Hatemonger's Quarterly," where they are currently composing an important tract tentatively titled "If Only Marty Kaplan Had a Large Penis.")


Comments (16)

Oh yes, the dear Huff post.... (Below threshold)
Allen:

Oh yes, the dear Huff post. Really funny how often, more than less, what is published there is very close to the truth. But also to be fair, they also have a bunch of idiots publishing their BS on it also.

Just read very carefully what they say. 85% is the straight fact, 15% is BS.
Other than that, how about the Libby trial? Looks like the whole White House was doing a big cover up. What do you think about that?

Is Libby lying, or is he taking the fall for dear old Dick? The truth will be coming out, so quit blaming everyone else, we the American people not only expect, but demand a fair government, and so far as this trial has shown, we are getting screwed.

So all you lefties, quit crowing, and you righties, quit bitching. The truth will show up and who knows what it is.

Why is it that the liberals... (Below threshold)
LouDawg:

Why is it that the liberals always post the first comments on any topic posted Wizbang? Does BDS give them a sense of when new stuff is posted? Or do they sit here hitting the "refresh" button on their browsers until something new comes along?

"If Only Doug Feith Had Big... (Below threshold)
bryanD:

"If Only Doug Feith Had Big Tits": a great title for a survey of "news" minutes spent informing the general public of treason by government officials vs. B rolls of D-list whatzit's untimely demise. I'm with the houseboys of HM on this one. NO WAIT! The houseboys of HM want MORE B rolls of Whatzit, if that's what it takes to you know....Shhhh!

...another supremely lucid ... (Below threshold)

...another supremely lucid observation from bryan. Get some sleep, dude.

Alternate Huff Po title:</p... (Below threshold)
sean nyc/aa:

Alternate Huff Po title:

"If only Doug Feith had sucked someone's dick ..."

Just read very carefully... (Below threshold)
MikeSC:

Just read very carefully what they say. 85% is the straight fact, 15% is BS.
Other than that, how about the Libby trial? Looks like the whole White House was doing a big cover up. What do you think about that?

Let me guess --- you haven't followed the case at all, right?

One charge already dismissed. Russert has serious cred issues on the stand. Fitz case is dying a painful death as his different treatment of journalists (why was Gregory and Mitchell not called to testify? How could Russert not know when at least 2 people who work for NBC did know?).

"If Only Doug Feith Had Big Tits": a great title for a survey of "news" minutes spent informing the general public of treason by government officials vs. B rolls of D-list whatzit's untimely demise.

Except Feith didn't commit treason and the report clearly shows no illegality went on.

Again, I hear all this whining from the left that conservatives "question their patriotism", yet the only ones I ever see questioning patriotism is the left.

Alternate Huff Po title:

"If only Doug Feith had sucked someone's dick ..."

You'd stand and applaud whatever crimes he could have possible committed.
-=Mike

"Why is it that the libe... (Below threshold)
Lee:

"Why is it that the liberals always post the first comments on any topic posted Wizbang? Does BDS give them a sense of when new stuff is posted? Or do they sit here hitting the "refresh" button on their browsers until something new comes along?"

Since Allen's comment was, according to the timestamps on the post and his comments, a full hour and 17 minutes after the post went up your characterization that someone is hitting the refresh button waiting for the post is silly.

There are a lot more conservatives reading these pages than liberals, so what I want to know is why are the conservatives cowering in fear of making a comment, and only venture out from their turtle shells to make a comment after a liberal makes the first move?

Sure, it isn't fair to make a silly statement like the one I made preceding paragraph, but that didn't stop you from making yours....

Are people still using the ... (Below threshold)
John F Not Kerry:

Are people still using the word "neocon"? Can somebody tell me what it's supposed to mean, without including Jews, AIPAC, or Israel in the definition?

It is very telling that on ... (Below threshold)
BarneyG2000:

It is very telling that on day that Feith was topic number one (manipulation/cherry-pick), and with the so called Iranian involvement in Iraq, that Wizbang choose this topic?

JFNK, why don't you do a li... (Below threshold)
BarneyG2000:

JFNK, why don't you do a little research, and come back and give us your report?

JFNKWhat's the mat... (Below threshold)
aRepukelican:

JFNK

What's the matter baby?

Are you Jewish and an advocate of war anywhere or else why do you make an ass of yourself w/ your comment above.


I would imagine that Kerry is more than happy that you are "not." Who in their right mind would want a namesake who had their head so far up their own ass that one could see your forehead when you smile?

"so what I want to know is... (Below threshold)
Rob LA Ca.:

"so what I want to know is why are the conservatives cowering in fear of making a comment"

Nice try loser , It's Sunday stupid."And you know what I'm talking about".

You mean you don't worship your devil on Sunday? Owe I forgot , that is wxactly what you are doing here on Sunday ......Monday...Tuesday..

Nice post Rob. I was surpri... (Below threshold)
metprof:

Nice post Rob. I was surprised to see such lib posting on Sunday....not that they would be in church mind you but maybe at the local "stop the War" march or standing up for a woman's right to kill unborn children. Both of which would, of course, be "for the children". lolol

"pukeface" is a poet and do... (Below threshold)
jhow66:

"pukeface" is a poet and doesn't know it just as a dog is a goit.

And a gnat.... (Below threshold)
jhow66:

And a gnat.

Thanks for making your posi... (Below threshold)
Lee:

Thanks for making your position clear, jhow66.

You're still on those meds, right?




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