I have mentioned my friend Candy several times. She's a born-again Christian home-schooling mother of five who fled Massachusetts for East Nowhere, Maine several years ago.
But that means she doesn't still have a sense of humor. Every now and then she sends me something that makes me laugh a lot, and wince just a little...
Her latest example is below the fold. You'll understand why.
Just for Valentine's Day.
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Now men . . men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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Comments (12)
LOL! That was not only funn... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Kim Priestap | February 14, 2007 8:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
LOL! That was not only funny but quite true.
1. Posted by Kim Priestap | February 14, 2007 8:29 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2007 08:29
2. Posted by jocrazy0 | February 14, 2007 9:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I found myself laughing at that. I must be a masochist or maybe I resemble that remark............
2. Posted by jocrazy0 | February 14, 2007 9:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2007 09:20
3. Posted by KobeClan | February 14, 2007 9:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
ROFLOL!
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds eventually mature.
All men are pigs.
I once bought my wife a very expensive bottle of perfume for Valentine's Day. When she opened it up she began crying hysterically. Confused, as any pig would be, I asked her what was wrong.
"You don't like MY perfume!! Why didn't you tell me ten years ago!"
Happy Valentine's Day!
3. Posted by KobeClan | February 14, 2007 9:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2007 09:49
4. Posted by jpm100 | February 14, 2007 10:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And thus the feminization of American men continues unopposed.
runs and hides among the scattered refuse of bachelor apartment
4. Posted by jpm100 | February 14, 2007 10:22 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2007 10:22
5. Posted by Jon | February 14, 2007 12:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Love this one! I don't care how "not PC" it is, when you poke fun at yourself and others at the same time, it can be extra funny.
5. Posted by Jon | February 14, 2007 12:50 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2007 12:50
6. Posted by -S- | February 14, 2007 2:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It's a very funny story...but...how do apples stomp grapes, I'm wondering.
Happy Valentine's Day, Jay Tea and all.
Men are like men, women are like women, that's the way I see it.
~;-D
6. Posted by -S- | February 14, 2007 2:15 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2007 14:15
7. Posted by MunDane | February 14, 2007 2:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Male, and loved the joke!
7. Posted by MunDane | February 14, 2007 2:18 PM |
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Posted on February 14, 2007 14:18
8. Posted by kbiel | February 14, 2007 2:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
That's a funny joke. It also points out one thing that men and women do have in common: both like to laugh at men.
8. Posted by kbiel | February 14, 2007 2:53 PM |
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Posted on February 14, 2007 14:53
9. Posted by Peter F. | February 14, 2007 4:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I think my wife is in a perpetual state of stomping! LOL I'm one stubborn-ass grape...
Nice, Candy. :-)
9. Posted by Peter F. | February 14, 2007 4:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2007 16:12
10. Posted by wavemaker | February 14, 2007 7:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
it's all in the telling, however.
For instance, would the stories sound remotely as funny if they were being told by Amanda Marcotte?
10. Posted by wavemaker | February 14, 2007 7:09 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 14, 2007 19:09
11. Posted by James Cloninger | February 15, 2007 12:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
For instance, would the stories sound remotely as funny if they were being told by Amanda Marcotte?
Well, I'm sure the "f" key would have to be replaced by essay's end.
11. Posted by James Cloninger | February 15, 2007 12:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on February 15, 2007 00:37
12. Posted by 89 | October 21, 2007 4:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This was genuinely funny. Usual disclaimer about spousal abuse not being funny, etc. etc.
PC off.
12. Posted by 89 | October 21, 2007 4:33 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 21, 2007 16:33