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Fun Fred Thompson Facts

The buzz this week in the Presidential race has been about the possibility that Fred Thompson will throw his hat into the ring. IMAO has some fun "facts" about Fred Thompson. (Link via Lucianne) Among them:

* Fred Thompson has on multiple occasions pronounced "nuclear" correctly.

* Fred Thompson has blasted more people in the face with a shotgun than even Dick Cheney.

* The masked executioner of Saddam Hussein: Fred Thompson.

* Not only does Fred Thompson cut taxes, he cuts tax collectors.

* Fred Thompson is the only person to have ever bested Miyamato Mushashi in a duel. The reason Musashi is so vague about the book of the void is because the fifth ring of combat is really Fred Thompson.

* The reason Fred Thompson didn't want to stay in the Senate for long is because all the extra scrutiny kept him from doing his favorite hobby: Prowling the streets at night killing drug dealers.

* Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his bed for Fred Thompson.

* Fred Thompson took over what was Al Gore's Senate seat, thereby dramatically reducing the Senate's carbon footprint. Fred Thompson then created carbon offset offsets by wastefully burning hippies.

There are many, many more so follow the link. They are from Frank J., so you know they are all funny (unless you are a cat lover, in which case one of them might not seem quite so).


Comments (46)

"wastefully burning hipp... (Below threshold)
Lee:

"wastefully burning hippies" - what a riot!

Watching conservatives desperately trying to find a candidate that can represent their morals and ideals has been painful, but someone who "burns hippies" is as close as you've come so far - so I guess that's progress.

From an earlier post:... (Below threshold)
BarneyG2000:

From an earlier post:

Thompson the perfect conservative? Let's look at his credentials.

Divorced
Hollywood Type
Lobbyist for foreign nationals
Lawyer

Then there is this:

The two areas where Thompson does buck the GOP belie his reformer image. Consistently, the former lawyer and lobbyist has broken voting ranks on the issues of tort and lobbying reform. He opposed banning members of Congress from accepting gifts from lobbyists and banning lobbyists from making contributions to members they'd recently petitioned.

Comment reprinted with my approval.

Fred also kept The Natio... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Fred also kept The Nation commercial spokesmen Sam Waterson in check on "Law & Order".

AND he doesn't think he's JFK.

It is comforting to think o... (Below threshold)
David March:

It is comforting to think of having someone like Mr. Thompson elected to high office. Precisely because he has been successful as a professional actor while simultaneously functioning in the alleged real world, he has a familiarity with the posing and shams of each community.

Miyamoto.... (Below threshold)
woody:

Miyamoto.

Interesting how the first t... (Below threshold)
metprof:

Interesting how the first two responses are from folks on the extreme left.....

metprof: and the first thin... (Below threshold)

metprof: and the first thinks it was a serious post.

metprof:Actually, ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

metprof:

Actually, it's a pretty common occurance. Sort of like the sun rising in the east.

You must be new here. ;-) Welcome to the fray!

Nothing that conservatives ... (Below threshold)
Lee:

Nothing that conservatives say or do is taken seriously by most Americans, Falze - -and it's odd that you thought my comment was "serious" - lol!

Metprof's characterization that I'm from the "extreme left" is also a riot -- but in answer to your question, metprof, conservatives wait until us liberals comment so they have someone to attack and "burn".

This suggests that most conservatives aren't really bright enough to have an opinion on important matters like presidential elections -- so they wait for a liberal to comment so they can respond with "liberal BAD!! -- grunt!, snort snort"....

Your comment, Peter F's and Falze's comments - all prime examples.

Since I am a liberal, and t... (Below threshold)
BarneyG2000:

Since I am a liberal, and therefore can not think for myself, I agree with Lee 110%.

Funny stuff, but seems like... (Below threshold)
Jim in Cleveland:

Funny stuff, but seems like a rip-off of the Chuck Norris

Facts.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_Facts

Jim, there's a reason for t... (Below threshold)
jpm100:

Jim, there's a reason for that. Fred Thompson is Chuck Norris' son.

Jim,Frank may have... (Below threshold)

Jim,

Frank may have had the idea from the Chuck Norris Facts, or perhaps it was the other way around. At any rate, "Fun Fact's" have been Frank J's stock and trade for years...

I'm voting for Fred, even i... (Below threshold)
yo:

I'm voting for Fred, even if he doesn't run.

Fred reminds me of Margret ... (Below threshold)
VagaBond:

Fred reminds me of Margret Thatcher.

I've got a fever ... and th... (Below threshold)
Dan Irving:

I've got a fever ... and the only prescription is ... more Fred Thompson!

[email protected] Irving!... (Below threshold)
VagaBond:
"Fred reminds me of Margret... (Below threshold)
yo:

"Fred reminds me of Margret Thatcher."

Fred's got much better legs.

(Warning: This post cont... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

(Warning: This post contains sardonic and obvious behaviorial humor with a touch of self-deprecating humor. May not be suitable for some readers.)

Lee,

OK, , buddy, hang with me now...

Next time I post something on a clearly humorous topic, I'll be sure to put a smiley face (":-)") on my wryly humorous comments. I'll do that just so you can say to yourself, "Ah, yes, I see now. Peter is attempting to be funny. I may not agree with his humor, I may not even think it's even remotely funny. In fact, no one else may find it funny either--which is likely the case. But alas, his statement was said in jest. Therefore, I'll refrain from making a horse's patoot out of myself by entering a bat guano defensive post filled with gross generalizations and sterotypes about conservatives that only shows I've obviously and completely missed the humor behind Peter's original (and even second) post. Best of all, I may actually discover that, by golly, some conservatives like Peter, actually DO have a sense of humor. And that maybe, just maybe, I should chill out and cut them some slack. Heck, maybe, I can even laugh along with them, as much as it will hurt me to do so. The point is "I get it".

So, just for you, buddy, like a 14-year spending too much time on MySpace talking to his girlfriend, I'm using smiley faces from here on out! Love 'em! Get used to 'em! They're your friends! :-)

Hearts and kisses,
Peter

:-)

You apparently don't follow... (Below threshold)
Lee:

You apparently don't follow your own advice, Peter F.

...but you sure can write a lot of meaningless words and waste a lot of people's time in your attempt to grunt and snort at liberals.

I'm voting for FrankJ, even... (Below threshold)
2klbofun:

I'm voting for FrankJ, even if he doesn't run. . .

Posted by: Lee at March 13,... (Below threshold)
yo:

Posted by: Lee at March 13, 2007 02:37 PM

Someone's got a poopy diaper.

Sorry Lee, but your first c... (Below threshold)
Lorie Byrd:

Sorry Lee, but your first comment only makes sense if you believed Thompson was really burning hippies.

I thought the post was a take off on the Jack Bauer ones I have seen. There have been similar ones about Dick Cheney, too. I can't think of any similar jokes about Democrats.

* Nancy Pelosi has on multi... (Below threshold)
yo:

* Nancy Pelosi has on multiple occasions pronounced "botox" correctly.

* Bill Clinton has blasted more white trash hunnies in the face ... well, finish as you will.

* The masked executioner of freedom of speech: Dennis Kucinic.

* Not only does Harry Reid raise taxes, he raises puppies .. and eats them.

* Howard Dean never bested Miyamato Mushashi in a duel. Howard has no idea who Miyamato Mushashi is.

* The reason John Edwards didn't stay in the Senate so long is because all the extra scrutiny kept him from doing his favorite hobby: Prowling the streets at night looking for the right shampoo to give his hair that extra bounce.

* Every night before going to sleep, Osama bin Laden checks under his balls for Jack Murtha.

My own advice? Huh? Let's k... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

My own advice? Huh? Let's keep this in context shall we? Neither of my two original posts were directed at you. The first was just a general response to the topic; the second directed to metprof who was making a casual observation. Not until you decided to, for whatever reason, lump me into your comments did I direct my quiver of humor at you.

However, if you mean "grunting" at liberals on other topics in other threads that are not humorous, well, then you bet ever one of your yellow liberal bones in your body I do that--especally when it's called for.

Finally, that post was called "writing". I enjoy it. In fact, I do it for a living. It's not political writing, but I enjoy it and get paid handsomely. So your trite deflection of my "wasting" your time and others with post shows that a.) you have adult A.D.D. and don't like reading beyond two sentences, b.) you can't laugh at yourself for being so, well, humorless, or c.) yo's right, you've got poppy in your diaper, or d.) all of the above.

I'll go with "b" and "c".

Damn, there I go "wasting" words again. Shame on me. I'm sure that contributed to global warming somehow. I'll go offset my carbon footprint by buying some carbon credits. Whew! feel better already! :-)


(See? A smiley face. Just for you!)

I DO think that every presi... (Below threshold)
Publicus:

I DO think that every president needs to be able to pronounce "nuclear" correctly.

Well that excludes most of ... (Below threshold)
Buddy:

Well that excludes most of texas, and 3/4 of the south from ever being eligible for president :-P

P.S. also excluded Eisenhow... (Below threshold)
Buddy:

P.S. also excluded Eisenhower, Carter, and Clinton.

P.P.SAlso John F. ... (Below threshold)
buddy:

P.P.S

Also John F. Kennedy and Gerald Ford. Excludes most military folk, too, as thats how they pronounce it.

http://vernondent.blogspot.com/2006/01/carnival-of-etymologies.html

Lorie grunted: "Sorry Le... (Below threshold)
Lee:

Lorie grunted: "Sorry Lee, but your first comment only makes sense if you believed Thompson was really burning hippies.""Sorry Lee, but your first comment only makes sense if you believed Thompson was really burning hippies.".

Only if you're really believed that I believed it did, Lorie! (sheesh why is it that conservatives can never "logic" past second base).

Peter F.'s Liberal Derangement Syndrome is in full bloom. You should pass out safety goggles for your reader, Peter - so they can avoid be splattered by the foam.

Short Bus Version Post For ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Short Bus Version Post For Lee:

Hmm, did I mention the word 'liberal'or attack you for being as such in my post any way, shape or form? Nope! You're just a humorless turd who's remarkably unfunny, regardless of your political affiliation.

grunts and more foam... </... (Below threshold)
Lee:

grunts and more foam...

or did you really assume th... (Below threshold)
Lee:

or did you really assume that I bothered reading the tripe you posted, Peter F?

LOL - I get it - you think I actually read your comments up above! Now that's funny.... not nearly as funny as burning hippies - but still funny!

Actually, it's a pretty ... (Below threshold)
Brian:

Actually, it's a pretty common occurance. Sort of like the sun rising in the east.

Hmmm, except that in a quick survey of the Wizbang articles on the front page right now, there are 15 first comments from the right, 2 of indeterminate affiliation, and only 1... that's right, this thread right here... from the left.

I'd call this an insignificant issue, if it didn't so clearly illustrate the right-wing echo chamber of stating falsities repeatedly until you convince yourselves they're true.

Correction: 4 of indetermin... (Below threshold)
Brian:

Correction: 4 of indeterminate affiliation

No, Lee, I suspect you don'... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

No, Lee, I suspect you don't like much beyond the sound of your own voice.

If Lee doesn't read your co... (Below threshold)
SCSIwuzzy:

If Lee doesn't read your comments, Peter, how and why is he responding to them?

;)

SCSI:As a reformed... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

SCSI:

As a reformed Bay Area-raised liberal, I could explain it to you in a post. But that would just end up overloading and frying the Wizbang! server, and I don't want Kevin, Jay, et al. mad at me.

;-)

P.S. also excluded Eisen... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

P.S. also excluded Eisenhower, Carter, and Clinton. Also John F. Kennedy and Gerald Ford..

And, funny that, they were all (Except one) Democrats too...

If Lee doesn't read your... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

If Lee doesn't read your comments, Peter, how and why is he responding to them?

No fair! You are trying to ascribe LOGIC too Lee's ruminations. Facist.

:)
:)
:) (Just for you, Lee)

*to, even.(So, you... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

*to, even.

(So, you leftist spelling freaks can go suck my left nut.)

*FascistOkay, I'll... (Below threshold)
James Cloninger:

*Fascist

Okay, I'll go suck my own left nut now...

:)
:)
:)

(Kevin, how about a spell checker on the next update?)

Me thinks old "pucker puss"... (Below threshold)
jhow66:

Me thinks old "pucker puss" (lee lee) (RTP) (RM) has his "panties" in a wad. He (or her) got his ass kicked again.

:(
:(
:(

Ugh - leave you guys alone ... (Below threshold)
Lee:

Ugh - leave you guys alone for a little while and the floor gets sticky - yuck!

Hey where is the fun fact t... (Below threshold)
Not Dick but Richard:

Hey where is the fun fact that he was an asbestos lobbyist?

_

I feel a glare coming on. Y... (Below threshold)
Fred Thompson:

I feel a glare coming on. You short-bussers get out and go home. Scoot.




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