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The Notarious Jay Tea

Well, for some reason the great state of New Hampshire has decided to invest in my its trust and recognition, and I am now a Notary Public.

This means that from now on, if I call you an asshole, that means you are a LEGALLY CERTIFIED asshole.

Next up, the Justice of the Peace thing, and I can start performing weddings...


Comments (25)

Some states a notary can pe... (Below threshold)
drew:

Some states a notary can perform marriages, worst case join the Universal Life church and become and ordained minister, takes about 15 minutes but hey you can perform marriages once you complete the registration

Reverend Tea?... (Below threshold)
mantis:

Reverend Tea?

"Well, for some reason the ... (Below threshold)
brainy435:

"Well, for some reason the great state of New Hampshire has decided to invest in my its trust and recognition, and I am now a Notary Public."
Emphasis mine.

What is the law regarding typos in certified documents? LOL.


Sorry, Jay Tea.

...if I call you an assh... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

...if I call you an asshole, that means you are a LEGALLY CERTIFIED asshole

I don't even wanna know where the seal goes...

> I don't even wanna know w... (Below threshold)
89:

> I don't even wanna know where the seal goes...

It re-locates to the fjords of Norway and creates a local ecological disaster.

Does the same go for 'evil ... (Below threshold)

Does the same go for 'evil bastards?'

Congrats, Jay!... (Below threshold)
Publicus:

Congrats, Jay!

I can just hear it "By the ... (Below threshold)

I can just hear it "By the power vested in me by the state of New Hampshire, I now pronounce you Ass & Hole. You may kiss the sphincter"

JT is mad with power. ww</p... (Below threshold)
WildWillie:

JT is mad with power. ww

It's so cute, how the borde... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

It's so cute, how the border of the seal reads Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Congratulations, Jay Tea.</... (Below threshold)

Congratulations, Jay Tea.

Unfortunately you are so rude as to not live anywhere near me so it does me no bit of good. I can *never* find a notary when I need one.

"This means that from now o... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

"This means that from now on, if I call you an asshole, that means you are a LEGALLY CERTIFIED asshole."

Yes, but only in New Hampshire. Does the full faith and credit clause mean that other states must recognize your certification?

Hmmm. What does tha... (Below threshold)
ijosha:

Hmmm.
What does that say about the state of New Hampshire?
;D

All you got to do is fill o... (Below threshold)
Sal Manilla:

All you got to do is fill out an application....And I'm guessing have no criminal record. That just great...

Jeff, as I understand it, m... (Below threshold)

Jeff, as I understand it, my certification is good anywhere in the United States -- as long as I issue it from within New Hampshire. And as I only leave The Granite State with great reluctance, it's pretty much guaranteed to be valid.

J.

Your parents must be proud.... (Below threshold)
jp2:

Your parents must be proud.

"One day, my son will be a notary and write on a neo-con blog."

jp2:<br ... (Below threshold)
_Mike_:

jp2:


Your parents must be proud.

"One day, my son will be a notary and write on a neo-con blog."

Thanks for confirming what a classless dipshit you are, jp2.

And the actual reason I hit... (Below threshold)
_Mike_:

And the actual reason I hit the comment button...

Congrats on your notoriety. :)

Know here by all presents t... (Below threshold)

Know here by all presents that by the power vested in me by the great State of New Hampshire, I hereby certify jp2 is an asshole.

You may now kiss my ass.

J.

(My commission expires 2011)

Well, you are a notary. I'l... (Below threshold)
jp2:

Well, you are a notary. I'll make my way over in the next 4 years.

Don't just become a JP, go ... (Below threshold)
Scrapiron:

Don't just become a JP, go on the web and for $25 you can become a real live fire and brimstone certified preacher. That will put you even with the Revrund Al and Je$$ie. Just select a few passages from the bible, (one or two will do) use them and you'll be ahead of the racist 'preachers'.

Good point Scrap - but my r... (Below threshold)
jp2:

Good point Scrap - but my role models are Falwell and Robertson. Much more profit in bilking the right.

(Also, Robertson can leg press 3000 lbs!)

I suspect jp2 has at least ... (Below threshold)
epador:

I suspect jp2 has at least one arm or leg, so he or she can'r be a complete asshole. Just a certified one. Remember, the first certification is for free, but you'll have to pay for the next one.

"You know what you are? ... (Below threshold)
mantis:

"You know what you are? You're an asshalf. It takes two of you to make an asshole."

-

Before I left Massachusetts... (Below threshold)
Candy:

Before I left Massachusetts, I was a notary. An up-and-coming attorney asked me if I'd accompany him when he was in need of one, and I agreed. The pay was good. I should have suspected something. I found myself in a Columbian druglord's house, which was located above a really seedy-looking convenience store in East Boston. We were buzzed in and ushered up by this enormous scary guy. Long story short, I informed the attorney that it was my last trip.




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