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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Michael Dell, chairman and CEO of Dell Inc., poses during a ceremony where he donated a collection of materials relating to the company's history to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History, in Washington May 9, 2007. The items donated include a 1985 PC Limited computer (R) and a Dell OptiPlex GX520 built in 2005 at their newest manufacturing facility in the United States. (Molly Riley/Reuters)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed, but Wizbang Blue has another caption contest now running.


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Comments (105)

Floppy? you have no idea.</... (Below threshold)
plebe:

Floppy? you have no idea.

Ms. Curic, there is no doub... (Below threshold)
JAT:

Ms. Curic, there is no doubt in my mind that the IBM here will suit you well - we even installed some fonts from the 1970's so you can reproduce authentic documents from that era.

"And now thanks to Dell's a... (Below threshold)

"And now thanks to Dell's award-winning customer service, when you order a brand new Dell Dimension E521, we'll send you an obsolescent brick from the 80s and pretend you're insane when you call to complain."

And lastly I'd to thank Al ... (Below threshold)

And lastly I'd to thank Al Gore. Without his invention of the Internet, none of this (including my vast fortune) would have been possible.

We've made downloading p0rn... (Below threshold)

We've made downloading p0rn better and faster than ever.

We took everything in this ... (Below threshold)

We took everything in this original PC and put it in a prettier box.

Microsoft's 'I'm Mac, an... (Below threshold)

Microsoft's 'I'm Mac, and this is my PC' counter ad did not enjoy the same popularity.

I got nothing...... (Below threshold)
Tango:

I got nothing...

"... and this model really ... (Below threshold)

"... and this model really did have an 'Any' key."

One of these came with a 1 ... (Below threshold)
Olaf:

One of these came with a 1 year warranty, superior customer service and support, including a friendly voice you could actually understand whenever you called in with a problem, and believe it or not, still functions 15 years later like the day it was made, the other is a broken Dell.

Michael Dell proudly stands... (Below threshold)
buckhunter:

Michael Dell proudly stands above the first PC design he copied. "I would like to thank IBM for providing all the RND expenses for me to become a billionaire"

I cant think of anything..<... (Below threshold)
pretzel_logic:

I cant think of anything..

Even Geeks think SBD's are ... (Below threshold)
Allium:

Even Geeks think SBD's are funny

"Dude, yer gettin' a ... (Below threshold)

"Dude, yer gettin' a real live Dell!"

Yes, it's true that Dell's ... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Yes, it's true that Dell's have always had a "D" chip - set to self-destruct exactly one day after the expiration of your warranty.

Dude, you're getting some o... (Below threshold)

Dude, you're getting some old crap.

A tailor? I don't need no s... (Below threshold)
puffin:

A tailor? I don't need no stinking tailor.

"Dude, you're getting a Mic... (Below threshold)
pretzel_logic:

"Dude, you're getting a Michael Dell Cardboard cut-out!"

"I can't imagine anyone nee... (Below threshold)

"I can't imagine anyone needing more than a 10MB hard drive."

"Dude, what the hell did yo... (Below threshold)

"Dude, what the hell did you fire me for? My career is over!"

You'll notice that Michael ... (Below threshold)

You'll notice that Michael is careful to not stand behind the Dell.

If he won't stand behind them, who will?

Mom, meet my new girlfriend... (Below threshold)
billburz:

Mom, meet my new girlfriend.

Michael Dell looks a little... (Below threshold)

Michael Dell looks a little green after Steve Jobs heckles from the audience: "If it were me, I'd shut Dell down and give the money back to the shareholders."

You can see at a glance why... (Below threshold)

You can see at a glance why Dell's first mp3 player didn't succeed in the market.

"I was thinking about this ... (Below threshold)

"I was thinking about this one, but now I'm leaning towards this one."

Michael Dell feigns a smile... (Below threshold)
_Mike_:

Michael Dell feigns a smile while thinking to himself, "Marketing morons. Who the hell thought a retro-style PC was a good idea."

And Michael, can you tell u... (Below threshold)

And Michael, can you tell us what technological innovations distinguish the Dell from a standard PC?

Well, ah, um,...,it's not beige.

It's a new technology we call "charcoal".

Michael Dell begins to wond... (Below threshold)
_Mike_:

Michael Dell begins to wonder if they haven't taken his corporate initiative 'back to basics' a little too far back.

"And after all this time, m... (Below threshold)

"And after all this time, my suit hasn't changed at all."

Michael Dell poses for phot... (Below threshold)

Michael Dell poses for photos as he hand-delivers the Pentagon's first Dell computer purchased through the newly streamlined prodcurment process.

I am Beldar.Your p... (Below threshold)

I am Beldar.

Your puny Earth technologies are so primitive.

After consuming mass quantities, I will go back to France.

Once again the black-clad S... (Below threshold)

Once again the black-clad Sith demonstrates its power over the white-armored Stormtrooper.

To lower costs, the first D... (Below threshold)

To lower costs, the first Dell shipped without keyboard, mouse, monitor, cpu, disk drives, memory, or a power supply.

A Shell executive displays ... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

A Shell executive displays the massive computing resources they are dedicating to researching for an alternate to oil as an energy source.

And, this compact gray devi... (Below threshold)

And, this compact gray device on my right is a new product we're very excited about.

It's called the "dPhone".

Michael Dell shows off Dell... (Below threshold)
wave man:

Michael Dell shows off Dell's current model of boat anchor, as well as a prototype doorstop to be offered sometime in the future.

I get a tax write off for d... (Below threshold)

I get a tax write off for donating my worhless old computers to the Smithsonian. Dude, is this a great country or what?

"Dear God help me...I'm in ... (Below threshold)

"Dear God help me...I'm in techno-geek helllllll!!!!"

Take your pick. Both are o... (Below threshold)
Bob Jones:

Take your pick. Both are only $199 after a $500 mail in rebate.

Please wait from 2 weeks to when Hell freezes over to receive your rebate.

"We started with nothing bu... (Below threshold)
J-Ho:

"We started with nothing but a garage, a dream, and unlimited access to porn. Now look at us!"

Michael tries using his old... (Below threshold)
Roy:

Michael tries using his old trinkets to snare a babe at the Women's Engineering Expo

Michael Dell, chairman and ... (Below threshold)
Johnny Regurgitate:

Michael Dell, chairman and CEO of Dell Inc., poses during a ceremony where he donated a collection of materials relating to the company's history to the Smithsonian National Museum of American History, in Washington May 9, 2007.

Why does he look so much li... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Why does he look so much like a used car salesman?

This is the newest BushGeni... (Below threshold)
Semanticleo:

This is the newest BushGenius to be implemented in Iraq. It has a hard drive which (gasp) boasts 20 MB
and a clock speed of 366 KILOHERTZ.

Yup, that should turn this war around.

We tried to tell them the i... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

We tried to tell them the island was going to blow if they didn't keep pushing the button. Did they listen? NOOOooo!

Everybody's got to have a r... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Everybody's got to have a retro model these days...

If Democrat's had their way... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

If Democrat's had their way you'd be using this "Eastern Bloc" model today.

Guess which one of these th... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Guess which one of these three still isn't getting laid.

This is the advanced Democr... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

This is the advanced Democrat slogan generator. It is the author of such clever slogans as:

"Give peace a chance."

"Buch lied. People died."

"No more War for Oil."

"America sucks."

And my personal favorite:

"We're all going to die."

Chris Matthews also used it to prepare questions for the last presidential debate.

"Yes, sir, the one on the l... (Below threshold)
SILVER BULLET:

"Yes, sir, the one on the left I use for a door-stop in my multi-million dollar mansion in Austin, Texas. May I recommend the Turbo on the right. It is reliable and who needs more than 10 megabites? It even comes with a pack of floppy discs."

"Hi, I'm a Mac....And I'm..... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Hi, I'm a Mac....And I'm..well, I'm still a dork."

A designer? No, we just fou... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

A designer? No, we just found it...

Michael Dell pictured with ... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Michael Dell pictured with his prom dates.

For buyers of this model, w... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

For buyers of this model, we are offering a free one-year individual carbon offset.

Introducing the new Democra... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Introducing the new Democrat mind-reader/hate-crime detector.

We're going to use this bab... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

We're going to use this baby to track and prosecute as many illegal aliens as possible.

After satisfying a few triv... (Below threshold)
jpm100:

After satisfying a few trivial earmarks, the Democrats unvail the new computer system bought with the remainder of the military funding bill.

And with our acoustic coupl... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

And with our acoustic coupler option you can be online in no time.

"... and with a $300.00 vid... (Below threshold)

"... and with a $300.00 video upgrade you'll be able to play Pong."

Evolution from right to lef... (Below threshold)
John:

Evolution from right to left: Think, Lancelot-Link, and Rinkey-Dink.

Why, yes, miss. I *do* hav... (Below threshold)

Why, yes, miss. I *do* have a floppy disk. If you're very lucky, you'll also get to see my hard drive.

Dell's founder and CEO show... (Below threshold)
John in CA:

Dell's founder and CEO shows the results of twenty years of, um, what's the opposite of innovation?

"Welcome to Dell's technica... (Below threshold)
woody:

"Welcome to Dell's technical support line. Due to unusually heavy call volume, your current system will be obsolete by the time one of our technical support representatives answers your call. Not that you speak Punjabi anyway."

IBM tries a "retro" marketi... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

IBM tries a "retro" marketing approach; if these were good enough for your parents when they were your age, they're good enough for you!

Which of these 3 tools coul... (Below threshold)
SCSIwuzzy:

Which of these 3 tools could pass the Turing test?

D) None of the above.

And no, this still does not... (Below threshold)
THC:

And no, this still does not mean you get tech support in clear English.

"This will rival...no, this... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"This will rival...no, this new laptop's portability will kick the iBook's ass," proclaimed Dell founder, Michael Dell.

"Yes, sir, just plug this b... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"Yes, sir, just plug this baby in and she does it all. It'll even play those new fangled VCR tapes...."

Micahel Dell announces Dell... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Micahel Dell announces Dell's new environmental corporate stewardship initiative: The Recycled Suit Program.

Dell unveils the computer t... (Below threshold)
Tim:

Dell unveils the computer that did all of Al Gore's computer work on global warming...

"After you install Vista, y... (Below threshold)
Bill Ramey:

"After you install Vista, your computer will run as fast as this beauty from the past."

Thinks there is nothing sex... (Below threshold)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Thinks there is nothing sexier than a blinking DOS cursor.

Michael Dell stands behind ... (Below threshold)
Kyle:

Michael Dell stands behind two computers: on the right in the picture is the computer the Democrat's "two months of money at a time" military appropriation will allow our soldiers to buy. On the left is al-Qaeda's new hardware.

Our firm uses Dell computer... (Below threshold)

Our firm uses Dell computers exclusively - and we've always been sorry!

Michael Dell with the first... (Below threshold)

Michael Dell with the first Mrs Dell:
"So old there wasn't even internet porn to surf!"

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday ... (Below threshold)
kim:

I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for one of this machine's hamburgers today.
=====================================

"And, this hot little baby ... (Below threshold)
RadiCalMan:

"And, this hot little baby here on my left is certified to be 100% rodent free!" (He can say this because his cat ate the mouse while he was building it in his dorm room.)

Dell - doing to the persona... (Below threshold)
itismedavid:

Dell - doing to the personal computer industry what Ford has done to the car industry - lagging behind after defining the mass marketing concept.

CIA finds Bin Laden's compu... (Below threshold)
Tim:

CIA finds Bin Laden's computer network in a remote cave

Tired of business owners ge... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Tired of business owners getting screwed by the liberals in Washington, Michael Dell decides to get even by sending them some of his company's products.

Michael Dell sends to Washi... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Michael Dell sends to Washington liberals some computers that are just like them - defective.

Why you should not buy a co... (Below threshold)

Why you should not buy a computer on Ebay.

And this is the workhorse o... (Below threshold)

And this is the workhorse of the Democratic Party.

Michael Dell's thought-bubb... (Below threshold)
Dodo David:

Michael Dell's thought-bubble:
"Now that I've gotten these computers out of my house, I have room for my new Gateway FX530XT."

Antiques Roadshow: "Do you ... (Below threshold)
starboardhelm:

Antiques Roadshow: "Do you have any idea what it's worth now?" Dell: "Yeah."

Michael Dell introduces the... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

Michael Dell introduces the media to his new Public Relations Vice President, Hal Reboot.

"I know that you and Frank ... (Below threshold)
Craig:

"I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen."

"...and the first one hundr... (Below threshold)
lightwave:

"...and the first one hundred callers will get a nifty red tie just like the one I'm wearing!"

Just a Boob and his Tube.</... (Below threshold)
lightwave:

Just a Boob and his Tube.

"...business skills...compu... (Below threshold)

"...business skills...computer hacking skills...girls like guys that have skills!"

Here ya go, Governor Sebeli... (Below threshold)
guido:

Here ya go, Governor Sebelius....Lotsa luck trying to build your disaster relief spreadsheet...because of George Bush's war, all of the good computers were sent to Iraq. (pssst, Howard Dean called me, too!)

Michael Dell displays the c... (Below threshold)
retired military:

Michael Dell displays the contents of one of the first computers owned by Jimmy Carter when he was President.

Upon inspection of the harddrive the following information was noted.

"Latest Democratic Strategies"

1. Play the race card
2. When confronted with an enemy, SURRENDER and then try to talk nice to them.
3. Raise taxes so that we can save the children.
4. Demonize republicans for everything

DRUDGEBREAKING: Michael Del... (Below threshold)

DRUDGEBREAKING: Michael Dell reveals the hardware behind the real reason that the Wizbang Caption Contest sometimes takes a few extra days to judge.
Developing....

Michael Dell announces his ... (Below threshold)
mojo:

Michael Dell announces his company's "classic" line of 4.77MHz PC's. "A full 256kb of RAM!" he gushes.

"Pay no attention to that m... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

"Pay no attention to that man behind the computer ..."

"PC Limited means it's s... (Below threshold)
lightwave:

"PC Limited means it's special, like me!"

Those who do not learn from... (Below threshold)
DJ Drummond:

Those who do not learn from History,
have I got a PC for you!

"WTF? There's a company eve... (Below threshold)

"WTF? There's a company even slower than Microsoft in releasing new products?"

Michael is the star in Dell... (Below threshold)

Michael is the star in Dell's new ad campaign.

"Don't think different."

Is it just me, or does Mich... (Below threshold)

Is it just me, or does Michael Dell look like the dork love child of Al Gore and John Kerry?

Someone reboot that one in ... (Below threshold)

Someone reboot that one in the back, it's starting to tip over.

That makes three pieces of ... (Below threshold)

That makes three pieces of obsolete crap.

"...so come on over to Craz... (Below threshold)

"...so come on over to Crazy Mikey's PC Outlet...and tell 'em Mikey sent ya!"

This is the view from Steve... (Below threshold)

This is the view from Steve Jobs rear-view mirror...

Update: <... (Below threshold)

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed, but Wizbang Blue has another caption contest now running.




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