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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin

Published: June 8, 2007 - 7:00 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Chairman of Microsoft Corporation Bill Gates stands to accept an honorary Doctor of Laws degree during the 356th Commencement Exercises at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts June 7, 2007. (Brian Snyder/Reuters)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed, but a new contest will begin on Friday.

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Comments (107)

"Seven years of college dow... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Craig | June 8, 2007 7:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Craig:

"Seven years of college down the drain!"

1. Posted by Craig | June 8, 2007 7:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:32

Bill Gates, the richest man... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Eric | June 8, 2007 7:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric:

Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, ponders how his life would be different if he had not dropped out of college.

2. Posted by Eric | June 8, 2007 7:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:42

The only thing that took lo... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

The only thing that took longer than getting a new release out of Microsoft.

3. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:44

PCU... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

PCU

4. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:44

This would be Lambda Lambda... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

This would be Lambda Lambda Lambda's proudest moment.

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:47

Slow, bulky, and bug-ridden... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Slow, bulky, and bug-ridden is no way to release an operating system.

6. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:09

Bill Gate reflects upon rec... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by marc | June 8, 2007 8:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
marc:

Bill Gate reflects upon receipt of his Doctorate of Digital Entomology degree.

7. Posted by marc | June 8, 2007 8:12 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:12

Bill Gates smiles, secure i... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Bill Gates smiles, secure in the knowledge he's the only person on stage not wearing any pants under his gown.

8. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:14

Bill Gates was later mistak... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Bill Gates was later mistaken for Harry Reid and beaten senseless by people opposed to amnesty for illegal immigrants.

9. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:16

Yes chancellor, that is a m... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Yes chancellor, that is a mouse in my pocket...

10. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:17

iRule... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 8:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

iRule

11. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 8:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:21

After receiving an honorary... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Margo Demers | June 8, 2007 8:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Margo Demers:

After receiving an honorary degree, Bill Gates revealed Microsoft's newest technology, simply called "Egghead", the totally wireless, take-with-you-anywhere laptop.

12. Posted by Margo Demers | June 8, 2007 8:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:29

After receiving an honorary... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by Margo Demers | June 8, 2007 8:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Margo Demers:

After receiving an honorary degree, Bill Gates revealed Microsoft's newest technology, simply called "Egghead", the totally wireless, take-with-you-anywhere laptop. When not in use, it conveniently stores itself in the "common sense" area of the brain, which nobody seems to use any more.

(apologies for re-post; hit the button before it made any sense!)

13. Posted by Margo Demers | June 8, 2007 8:33 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:33

" NO, no Bill we said you e... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Gmax | June 8, 2007 9:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gmax:

" NO, no Bill we said you earned the DUNCE CAP for the way Microsoft's stock has performed of late!"

14. Posted by Gmax | June 8, 2007 9:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:04

The HonoraryTM class degree... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by DJ Drummond | June 8, 2007 9:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DJ Drummond:

The HonoraryTM class degree was immediately popular, and early reviews were favorable. It was only later that critical flaws in the degree were discovered, which allowed for Education Theft, corrupted Ideals, Memory loss and system failure. A "patch" was developed, but soon afterwards, university officials admitted that the only correction was an expensive upgrade, and even that would not fix the problem completely or undo the damage.

These problems helped drive demand for an alternative system, the iWork.

15. Posted by DJ Drummond | June 8, 2007 9:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:23

Bill smiled contentedly, kn... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Gmac | June 8, 2007 9:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gmac:

Bill smiled contentedly, knowing his future did not depend on him using his degree.

16. Posted by Gmac | June 8, 2007 9:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:25

Grueling years of study for... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by brainy435 | June 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
brainy435:

Grueling years of study for an ivy-league degree: 4

Years to repay student loans after graduation: 10

Being a college dropout with more money then everyone else assembled: priceless.

17. Posted by brainy435 | June 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:30

You have new software updat... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Mark | June 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mark:

You have new software updates available would you like to download them now?

18. Posted by Mark | June 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:30

College, didn't need it. </... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by scotty | June 8, 2007 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scotty:

College, didn't need it.

19. Posted by scotty | June 8, 2007 9:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:37

"Thank you all for this hon... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Falze | June 8, 2007 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Falze:

"Thank you all for this honor. In return, I'd like to offer these fine graduates the chance to work for my company for $500,000 per year! As you accept your diploma, you will be given a chance to be hired by me by passing this simple test! OK...I'm thinking of a number between 1 and...70 BILLION!!! Just tell me what it is and you're hired, mwah-ha-ha-ha!"

20. Posted by Falze | June 8, 2007 9:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:37

Harvard graduation 1.0 proj... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Mikey60 | June 8, 2007 9:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mikey60:

Harvard graduation 1.0 projected release date, 1977. Actual delivery date, 2007.

21. Posted by Mikey60 | June 8, 2007 9:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:42

Wow! I REALLY can buy anyth... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Chief White Bear | June 8, 2007 9:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chief White Bear:

Wow! I REALLY can buy anything!

22. Posted by Chief White Bear | June 8, 2007 9:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:55

Thunder somewhat stolen, bu... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by rockindoug | June 8, 2007 10:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rockindoug:

Thunder somewhat stolen, but:

"I'm thinking of a number between one and my net worth...."

23. Posted by rockindoug | June 8, 2007 10:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:05

Wonder what you have to ach... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Nylda | June 8, 2007 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Nylda:

Wonder what you have to achieve in life to get a degree from Yale?

24. Posted by Nylda | June 8, 2007 10:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:09

"Suckers."... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Eric Forhan | June 8, 2007 10:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric Forhan:

"Suckers."

25. Posted by Eric Forhan | June 8, 2007 10:12 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:12

"If only they knew that I n... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Norm F. | June 8, 2007 10:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm F.:

"If only they knew that I named my computer company after a memeorable remark made by my first ever girlfriend when she saw my penis, and this hat looks kind of cool".

26. Posted by Norm F. | June 8, 2007 10:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:17

"Woot"... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 10:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Woot"

27. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 10:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:24

or more correctly"... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 10:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

or more correctly

"w00t"

28. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 10:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:27

"These muggles will respect... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 10:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

"These muggles will respect me now", Harry Gates thinks to himself...

29. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 10:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:29

Certainly now, I am the hig... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 10:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Certainly now, I am the highest level Dungeon Master ever...

30. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 10:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:37

Heh heh, I wonder what they... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by John in CA | June 8, 2007 10:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John in CA:

Heh heh, I wonder what they think of the Windows logo I painted on top of this thing

31. Posted by John in CA | June 8, 2007 10:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:42

My reindeer flies sideways,... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by jaymaster | June 8, 2007 10:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jaymaster:

My reindeer flies sideways, your reindeer flies upside down....

I just love that song. I wonder if I can download it from iTunes?

32. Posted by jaymaster | June 8, 2007 10:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:43

What if I woke up tomorrow ... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by kim | June 8, 2007 10:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kim:

What if I woke up tomorrow in Scooter Libby's body?
================================

33. Posted by kim | June 8, 2007 10:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:52

Public health easy? Well, ... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by kim | June 8, 2007 10:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kim:

Public health easy? Well, at least it is sane and sanitary. Now public policy? Well that's not hard at all, and too easy to introduce a hothoused mutant strain, pathological in the extreme. Are you listening, George?
======================

34. Posted by kim | June 8, 2007 10:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:58

"Hmmm... if they give me a ... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 11:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Hmmm... if they give me a Masters Degree I could be known as Master ..."

35. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 11:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 11:17

Gates just found out he's g... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by fustian | June 8, 2007 11:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Gates just found out he's getting an iPhone for graduation.

36. Posted by fustian | June 8, 2007 11:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 11:27

Hey - I can hide my bad hai... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Roy | June 8, 2007 12:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Roy:

Hey - I can hide my bad haircut, and look smart too.

37. Posted by Roy | June 8, 2007 12:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:18

"$49,999,999,999...$50,000,... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Peter F. | June 8, 2007 12:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.:

"$49,999,999,999...$50,000,000,000...$50,000,000,001...hey, I make money just counting to myself..."

38. Posted by Peter F. | June 8, 2007 12:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:20

I wonder if they would find... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Don Singleton | June 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Don Singleton:

I wonder if they would find out if I bought a Mac

39. Posted by Don Singleton | June 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:21

"May I go to the bathroo... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by rockindoug | June 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rockindoug:

"May I go to the bathroom?"

...


"Thank you"

40. Posted by rockindoug | June 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:21

Bill Gates contemplates buy... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Peter F. | June 8, 2007 12:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.:

Bill Gates contemplates buying Heaven and what the re-sale value might be.

41. Posted by Peter F. | June 8, 2007 12:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:23

I'm so very proud of the bl... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by Syllabucks | June 8, 2007 12:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Syllabucks:

I'm so very proud of the blue frogs on my man boobs!

42. Posted by Syllabucks | June 8, 2007 12:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:25

"Your careers all belong... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by DJ Drummond | June 8, 2007 12:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DJ Drummond:

"Your careers all belong to me."

43. Posted by DJ Drummond | June 8, 2007 12:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:25

Thought Bubble: I hope I ca... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by Bungalowlife | June 8, 2007 12:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bungalowlife:

Thought Bubble: I hope I can keep this robe for the kegger-toga afterparty. Toga! Toga! Toga!

44. Posted by Bungalowlife | June 8, 2007 12:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:30

Sorry, but Genuine Advantag... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 12:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Sorry, but Genuine Advantage has determined that this is not a genuine diploma. Would you like to resolve this issue now?

45. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 12:32 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:32

"Hope I get a bowl of soup ... (Below threshold)

46. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 12:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Hope I get a bowl of soup with this hat."

46. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 12:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:34

I owe all my success to <a ... (Below threshold)

47. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 12:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I owe all my success to Sherman.

47. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 12:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:37

I wonder what Paris Hilton ... (Below threshold)

48. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 12:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

I wonder what Paris Hilton makes of all this?

48. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 12:44 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:44

:::Reading back of diploma:... (Below threshold)

49. Posted by Farmer Joe | June 8, 2007 12:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Farmer Joe:

:::Reading back of diploma:::

"'End User License agreement: This degree is the property of Harvard University. License is granted to the user to...' HEY!!"

49. Posted by Farmer Joe | June 8, 2007 12:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:48

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart... (Below threshold)

50. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 8, 2007 12:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

50. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 8, 2007 12:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:48

What Would Jay Tea Do?... (Below threshold)

51. Posted by EL Rider | June 8, 2007 12:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
EL Rider:

What Would Jay Tea Do?

51. Posted by EL Rider | June 8, 2007 12:54 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:54

"Amazing what a threat to c... (Below threshold)

52. Posted by TJ | June 8, 2007 12:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
TJ:

"Amazing what a threat to cut off all the university's software licenses will accomplish!"

52. Posted by TJ | June 8, 2007 12:55 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:55

Richest man on earth. How y... (Below threshold)

53. Posted by John | June 8, 2007 1:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John:

Richest man on earth. How you like me now sorority bee-otches!

53. Posted by John | June 8, 2007 1:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 13:01

The Stay in School ad campa... (Below threshold)

54. Posted by THC | June 8, 2007 1:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
THC:

The Stay in School ad campaign is dealt a serious setback.

54. Posted by THC | June 8, 2007 1:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 13:26

Bill Gates smirks smugly as... (Below threshold)

55. Posted by Jason | June 8, 2007 1:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jason:

Bill Gates smirks smugly as he notices all the broke, drunken slobs in the audience who used to give him wedgies in the high school locker room.

55. Posted by Jason | June 8, 2007 1:28 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 13:28

In order to ensure our secu... (Below threshold)

56. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | June 8, 2007 1:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SCSIwuzzy:

In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire, for a safe and secure society which I assure you will last for ten thousand years

56. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | June 8, 2007 1:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 13:30

uh...Mr Gates? Excuse me pl... (Below threshold)

57. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 1:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

uh...Mr Gates? Excuse me please...sorry, but we are not able to print your diploma at this time...it seems that Vista is unable to recognize and load the correct print driver for our diploma printer...It will be a few moments while we move our printer back to our Linux box...

57. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 1:39 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 13:39

"Once Bill Gates received h... (Below threshold)

58. Posted by No One of Consequence | June 8, 2007 1:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No One of Consequence:

"Once Bill Gates received his degree, the average yearly salary of new graduates jumped to $10,000,000"

58. Posted by No One of Consequence | June 8, 2007 1:54 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 13:54

"Id rather be assisting Red... (Below threshold)

59. Posted by Elroy Jetson | June 8, 2007 2:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Elroy Jetson:

"Id rather be assisting Red China in their censorship efforts than here with you dorks right now!"

59. Posted by Elroy Jetson | June 8, 2007 2:10 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 14:10

"No one will ever notice wh... (Below threshold)

60. Posted by ijosha | June 8, 2007 2:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
ijosha:

"No one will ever notice where I hid my tassel" Bill though, smiling quietly to himself.

60. Posted by ijosha | June 8, 2007 2:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 14:11

I'm richer than Jobs, I'm s... (Below threshold)

61. Posted by trappedinmn | June 8, 2007 2:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
trappedinmn:

I'm richer than Jobs, I'm smarter than Jobs, I'm better looking than Jobs....so why do his products work and mine suck?

61. Posted by trappedinmn | June 8, 2007 2:33 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 14:33

"D'you know that the human ... (Below threshold)

62. Posted by jab | June 8, 2007 3:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jab:

"D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?"

62. Posted by jab | June 8, 2007 3:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 15:12

Lord, what a life; no wonde... (Below threshold)

63. Posted by La Mano | June 8, 2007 3:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
La Mano:

Lord, what a life; no wonder they call them the Gates of heaven.

63. Posted by La Mano | June 8, 2007 3:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 15:16

Bill Gates finally makes en... (Below threshold)

64. Posted by Chris G | June 8, 2007 4:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chris G:

Bill Gates finally makes enough money to pay off his school loan and graduate, after the $10,000 loan on his Harvard student account has been accruing at 21% since the Carter Administration

64. Posted by Chris G | June 8, 2007 4:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 16:27

I finally realized I couldn... (Below threshold)

65. Posted by SILVER BULLET | June 8, 2007 4:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SILVER BULLET:

I finally realized I couldn't get anywhere in this world without a college degree!

65. Posted by SILVER BULLET | June 8, 2007 4:27 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 16:27

"Mannnnnnn.... that was ... (Below threshold)

66. Posted by biggrog | June 8, 2007 8:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
biggrog:

"Mannnnnnn.... that was a big dump. Good thing I didn't wait!"

66. Posted by biggrog | June 8, 2007 8:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 20:01

Instead of wearing the bla... (Below threshold)

67. Posted by Gary | June 8, 2007 8:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gary:

Instead of wearing the black Zune on my head I should have wore the new red Zune. It would have matched my gown better!

67. Posted by Gary | June 8, 2007 8:28 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 20:28

Or as I like to say, the ey... (Below threshold)

68. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 8:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Or as I like to say, the eyes are the Windows® to the soul...

68. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 8:42 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 20:42

After commencement, everyon... (Below threshold)

69. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 8:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

After commencement, everyone is invited to my place to watch Revenge of the Nerds.

69. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 8:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 20:48

"The clouds are especially ... (Below threshold)

70. Posted by LAB | June 8, 2007 9:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
LAB:

"The clouds are especially fluffy today."

70. Posted by LAB | June 8, 2007 9:02 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 21:02

Q - Where did you get the n... (Below threshold)

71. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 9:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff Blogworthy:

Q - Where did you get the name Microsoft?

A - Actually, it was a name my first girlfriend came up with...

71. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | June 8, 2007 9:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 21:19

Who Photoshopped the black ... (Below threshold)

72. Posted by WC Green | June 8, 2007 9:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
WC Green:

Who Photoshopped the black square over my halo?

72. Posted by WC Green | June 8, 2007 9:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 21:34

"I wonder what Steve Jobs i... (Below threshold)

73. Posted by vader06 | June 8, 2007 9:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
vader06:

"I wonder what Steve Jobs is doing right now ???"

73. Posted by vader06 | June 8, 2007 9:52 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 21:52

Theodorkic of York ponders:... (Below threshold)

74. Posted by Spike | June 8, 2007 10:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Spike:

Theodorkic of York ponders: "Hmmmmmmm. What if I could give Windows to the Open Source movement; I could create a secure environment for browsing that would dynamically innoculate itself from viruses and worms; I could do away with the "blue screen of death and create a crash free system........"

"NAAAAAAAH! Hit Control+ALT+DELETE"

74. Posted by Spike | June 8, 2007 10:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 22:47

Net worth...$50 Billion; Ha... (Below threshold)

75. Posted by Spike | June 8, 2007 10:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Spike:

Net worth...$50 Billion; Harvard Endowment....$29.5 Billion. MSFT since Spike has owned it for three years? WORTHLESS!

75. Posted by Spike | June 8, 2007 10:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 22:49

Graduates is stupid.... (Below threshold)

76. Posted by Spike | June 8, 2007 10:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Spike:

Graduates is stupid.

76. Posted by Spike | June 8, 2007 10:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 22:50

I wonder what I can steal f... (Below threshold)

77. Posted by Timmer | June 8, 2007 11:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Timmer:

I wonder what I can steal from Mac OS X Leopard?

77. Posted by Timmer | June 8, 2007 11:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 23:53

Harvard wishes to grant you... (Below threshold)

78. Posted by trappedinmn | June 8, 2007 11:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
trappedinmn:

Harvard wishes to grant you an honorary degree...Cancel or Allow?

78. Posted by trappedinmn | June 8, 2007 11:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 23:53

Thought bubble:"I ... (Below threshold)

79. Posted by -S- | June 9, 2007 12:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
-S-:

Thought bubble:

"I can has cheeseburger?"

79. Posted by -S- | June 9, 2007 12:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 00:09

OMG, I screwed that up, um,... (Below threshold)

80. Posted by -S- | June 9, 2007 12:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
-S-:

OMG, I screwed that up, um, "LOL":

Starting over....

THOUGHT BUBBLE:

"I can has cheeZburger?"

80. Posted by -S- | June 9, 2007 12:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 00:11

Slowly a grin came to the f... (Below threshold)

81. Posted by Charles V | June 9, 2007 12:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Charles V:

Slowly a grin came to the famed computer wizard's face. Hidden beneath the podium Paris Hilton unzipped Bill's pants to give him his graduation present.

81. Posted by Charles V | June 9, 2007 12:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 00:28

Unlike Paris Hilton, Bill G... (Below threshold)

82. Posted by Lord Floppington | June 9, 2007 1:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lord Floppington:

Unlike Paris Hilton, Bill Gates manages to fight back tears moments before he is whisked away to Krypton's 2-D prison facility.

82. Posted by Lord Floppington | June 9, 2007 1:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 01:29

Go figure, the only one of ... (Below threshold)

83. Posted by Pat | June 9, 2007 2:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pat:

Go figure, the only one of Gates' platforms that actually works is on his head...

83. Posted by Pat | June 9, 2007 2:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 02:47

Bill thinks to himself abou... (Below threshold)

84. Posted by Paul Hooson | June 9, 2007 3:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Paul Hooson:

Bill thinks to himself about all his hard work:" Let's see. I talk like Kermit the Frog. I look like a geek. So I had to become a billionaire to get a babe. Good plan".

84. Posted by Paul Hooson | June 9, 2007 3:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 03:50

"...And to think, I started... (Below threshold)

85. Posted by Peter F. | June 9, 2007 4:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.:

"...And to think, I started all of this with a Secret Decoder Ring...."

85. Posted by Peter F. | June 9, 2007 4:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 04:47

"Did I leave the iron on?..... (Below threshold)

86. Posted by Peter F. | June 9, 2007 4:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.:

"Did I leave the iron on?....Wait a tic....I have someone to do that for me...silly me"

86. Posted by Peter F. | June 9, 2007 4:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 04:49

I'm still eligible for an f... (Below threshold)

87. Posted by epador | June 9, 2007 8:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
epador:

I'm still eligible for an free iPod until I finish grad school.

87. Posted by epador | June 9, 2007 8:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 08:13

Thought bubble:"I ... (Below threshold)

88. Posted by Daniel | June 9, 2007 11:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Daniel:

Thought bubble:

"I think... yeah. I just had an idea."

88. Posted by Daniel | June 9, 2007 11:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 11:44

:::Reading back of... (Below threshold)

89. Posted by Daniel | June 9, 2007 11:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Daniel:
:::Reading back of diploma:::

"'End User License agreement: This degree is the property of Harvard University. License is granted to the user to...' HEY!!"

that one gets my vote. hooray for the EULA!

89. Posted by Daniel | June 9, 2007 11:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 11:53

Well, it's been a long road... (Below threshold)

90. Posted by itismedavid | June 9, 2007 4:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
itismedavid:

Well, it's been a long road but now that I have graduated, I can finally make something out of my life.

90. Posted by itismedavid | June 9, 2007 4:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 16:36

The Window's Vista™ black "... (Below threshold)

91. Posted by RadiCalMan | June 9, 2007 9:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
RadiCalMan:

The Window's Vista™ black "screen of dearth" was affixed to Bill's head.

91. Posted by RadiCalMan | June 9, 2007 9:06 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 21:06

Guess which college dropout... (Below threshold)

92. Posted by Palmateer | June 9, 2007 10:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Palmateer:

Guess which college dropout has the most honorary degrees?

92. Posted by Palmateer | June 9, 2007 10:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 22:09

Vista's new screensaver.</p... (Below threshold)

93. Posted by Paul Hooson | June 9, 2007 10:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Paul Hooson:

Vista's new screensaver.

93. Posted by Paul Hooson | June 9, 2007 10:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 22:37

Someone reboot Gates. He's ... (Below threshold)

94. Posted by fustian | June 9, 2007 11:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Someone reboot Gates. He's having delusions of grandeur again. When he gets that dopey look on his face, he's thinking he's Steve Jobs...

94. Posted by fustian | June 9, 2007 11:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 23:24

You can't buy taste, Bill..... (Below threshold)

95. Posted by fustian | June 9, 2007 11:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

You can't buy taste, Bill...

95. Posted by fustian | June 9, 2007 11:29 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 23:29

Dude, you're gettin' a shee... (Below threshold)

96. Posted by fustian | June 9, 2007 11:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Dude, you're gettin' a sheepskin!

96. Posted by fustian | June 9, 2007 11:41 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 9, 2007 23:41

Wonder how many Zunes I can... (Below threshold)

97. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Wonder how many Zunes I can unload on these yahoos?...

97. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 10, 2007 02:13

Maybe this'll get me into t... (Below threshold)

98. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Maybe this'll get me into the Apple Genius Bar...

98. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 10, 2007 02:28

Maybe we should have called... (Below threshold)

99. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Maybe we should have called it "Walls"?...

99. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 10, 2007 02:32

Gates still hasn't caught o... (Below threshold)

100. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Gates still hasn't caught on that Harvard pranksters put two Apple-key patches on his graduation robe...

100. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 10, 2007 02:34

Bill Gates: an 8088 in a Qu... (Below threshold)

101. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Bill Gates: an 8088 in a Quad Core world.

101. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:45 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 10, 2007 02:45

I've got it! We'll put a ph... (Below threshold)

102. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

I've got it! We'll put a phone in it and call it iSurface...

102. Posted by fustian | June 10, 2007 2:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 10, 2007 02:48

"2B OR NOT 2B ... equals FF... (Below threshold)

103. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 10, 2007 3:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"2B OR NOT 2B ... equals FF"

103. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 10, 2007 3:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 10, 2007 15:05

"42"... (Below threshold)

104. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 11, 2007 12:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"42"

104. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 11, 2007 12:32 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 11, 2007 12:32

I wonder if Hillary & Bill ... (Below threshold)

105. Posted by bones47 | June 16, 2007 2:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
bones47:

I wonder if Hillary & Bill will talk with me again, since I am doing so well at school?

105. Posted by bones47 | June 16, 2007 2:29 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 16, 2007 14:29

"Ooooh, wearing panties at ... (Below threshold)

106. Posted by timturk | June 17, 2007 12:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
timturk:

"Ooooh, wearing panties at the graduation that I'm the keynote speaker, I feel so naughty."

106. Posted by timturk | June 17, 2007 12:34 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 17, 2007 00:34

Update: <... (Below threshold)

107. Posted by Kevin | June 18, 2007 2:13 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin:

Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed, but a new contest will begin on Friday.

107. Posted by Kevin | June 18, 2007 2:13 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 18, 2007 02:13


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