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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Chairman of Microsoft Corporation Bill Gates stands to accept an honorary Doctor of Laws degree during the 356th Commencement Exercises at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts June 7, 2007. (Brian Snyder/Reuters)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed, but a new contest will begin on Friday.

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Comments (107)

"Seven years of college dow... (Below threshold)
Craig:

"Seven years of college down the drain!"

Bill Gates, the richest man... (Below threshold)
Eric:

Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, ponders how his life would be different if he had not dropped out of college.

The only thing that took lo... (Below threshold)

The only thing that took longer than getting a new release out of Microsoft.

PCU... (Below threshold)

PCU

This would be Lambda Lambda... (Below threshold)

This would be Lambda Lambda Lambda's proudest moment.

Slow, bulky, and bug-ridden... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Slow, bulky, and bug-ridden is no way to release an operating system.

Bill Gate reflects upon rec... (Below threshold)
marc:

Bill Gate reflects upon receipt of his Doctorate of Digital Entomology degree.

Bill Gates smiles, secure i... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Bill Gates smiles, secure in the knowledge he's the only person on stage not wearing any pants under his gown.

Bill Gates was later mistak... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Bill Gates was later mistaken for Harry Reid and beaten senseless by people opposed to amnesty for illegal immigrants.

Yes chancellor, that is a m... (Below threshold)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Yes chancellor, that is a mouse in my pocket...

iRule... (Below threshold)

iRule

After receiving an honorary... (Below threshold)

After receiving an honorary degree, Bill Gates revealed Microsoft's newest technology, simply called "Egghead", the totally wireless, take-with-you-anywhere laptop.

After receiving an honorary... (Below threshold)

After receiving an honorary degree, Bill Gates revealed Microsoft's newest technology, simply called "Egghead", the totally wireless, take-with-you-anywhere laptop. When not in use, it conveniently stores itself in the "common sense" area of the brain, which nobody seems to use any more.

(apologies for re-post; hit the button before it made any sense!)

" NO, no Bill we said you e... (Below threshold)
Gmax:

" NO, no Bill we said you earned the DUNCE CAP for the way Microsoft's stock has performed of late!"

The HonoraryTM class degree... (Below threshold)

The HonoraryTM class degree was immediately popular, and early reviews were favorable. It was only later that critical flaws in the degree were discovered, which allowed for Education Theft, corrupted Ideals, Memory loss and system failure. A "patch" was developed, but soon afterwards, university officials admitted that the only correction was an expensive upgrade, and even that would not fix the problem completely or undo the damage.

These problems helped drive demand for an alternative system, the iWork.

Bill smiled contentedly, kn... (Below threshold)
Gmac:

Bill smiled contentedly, knowing his future did not depend on him using his degree.

Grueling years of study for... (Below threshold)
brainy435:

Grueling years of study for an ivy-league degree: 4

Years to repay student loans after graduation: 10

Being a college dropout with more money then everyone else assembled: priceless.

You have new software updat... (Below threshold)
Mark:

You have new software updates available would you like to download them now?

College, didn't need it. </... (Below threshold)

College, didn't need it.

"Thank you all for this hon... (Below threshold)

"Thank you all for this honor. In return, I'd like to offer these fine graduates the chance to work for my company for $500,000 per year! As you accept your diploma, you will be given a chance to be hired by me by passing this simple test! OK...I'm thinking of a number between 1 and...70 BILLION!!! Just tell me what it is and you're hired, mwah-ha-ha-ha!"

Harvard graduation 1.0 proj... (Below threshold)
Mikey60:

Harvard graduation 1.0 projected release date, 1977. Actual delivery date, 2007.

Wow! I REALLY can buy anyth... (Below threshold)
Chief White Bear:

Wow! I REALLY can buy anything!

Thunder somewhat stolen, bu... (Below threshold)
rockindoug:

Thunder somewhat stolen, but:

"I'm thinking of a number between one and my net worth...."

Wonder what you have to ach... (Below threshold)
Nylda:

Wonder what you have to achieve in life to get a degree from Yale?

"Suckers."... (Below threshold)

"Suckers."

"If only they knew that I n... (Below threshold)
Norm F.:

"If only they knew that I named my computer company after a memeorable remark made by my first ever girlfriend when she saw my penis, and this hat looks kind of cool".

"Woot"... (Below threshold)

"Woot"

or more correctly"... (Below threshold)

or more correctly

"w00t"

"These muggles will respect... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

"These muggles will respect me now", Harry Gates thinks to himself...

Certainly now, I am the hig... (Below threshold)
Jeff:

Certainly now, I am the highest level Dungeon Master ever...

Heh heh, I wonder what they... (Below threshold)
John in CA:

Heh heh, I wonder what they think of the Windows logo I painted on top of this thing

My reindeer flies sideways,... (Below threshold)
jaymaster:

My reindeer flies sideways, your reindeer flies upside down....

I just love that song. I wonder if I can download it from iTunes?

What if I woke up tomorrow ... (Below threshold)
kim:

What if I woke up tomorrow in Scooter Libby's body?
================================

Public health easy? Well, ... (Below threshold)
kim:

Public health easy? Well, at least it is sane and sanitary. Now public policy? Well that's not hard at all, and too easy to introduce a hothoused mutant strain, pathological in the extreme. Are you listening, George?
======================

"Hmmm... if they give me a ... (Below threshold)

"Hmmm... if they give me a Masters Degree I could be known as Master ..."

Gates just found out he's g... (Below threshold)

Gates just found out he's getting an iPhone for graduation.

Hey - I can hide my bad hai... (Below threshold)
Roy:

Hey - I can hide my bad haircut, and look smart too.

"$49,999,999,999...$50,000,... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

"$49,999,999,999...$50,000,000,000...$50,000,000,001...hey, I make money just counting to myself..."

I wonder if they would find... (Below threshold)

I wonder if they would find out if I bought a Mac

"May I go to the bathroo... (Below threshold)
rockindoug:

"May I go to the bathroom?"

...


"Thank you"

Bill Gates contemplates buy... (Below threshold)
Peter F.:

Bill Gates contemplates buying Heaven and what the re-sale value might be.