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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin
Published: June 8, 2007 - 7:00 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Chairman of Microsoft Corporation Bill Gates stands to accept an honorary Doctor of Laws degree during the 356th Commencement Exercises at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts June 7, 2007. (Brian Snyder/Reuters)


Winners will be announced Sunday.


Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed, but a new contest will begin on Friday.

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Comments (107)

"Seven years of college dow... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Craig | June 8, 2007 7:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Craig:

"Seven years of college down the drain!"

1. Posted by Craig | June 8, 2007 7:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:32

Bill Gates, the richest man... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Eric | June 8, 2007 7:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric:

Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, ponders how his life would be different if he had not dropped out of college.

2. Posted by Eric | June 8, 2007 7:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:42

The only thing that took lo... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

The only thing that took longer than getting a new release out of Microsoft.

3. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:44

PCU... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

PCU

4. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:44

This would be Lambda Lambda... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

This would be Lambda Lambda Lambda's proudest moment.

5. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 7:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 07:47

Slow, bulky, and bug-ridden... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Slow, bulky, and bug-ridden is no way to release an operating system.

6. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:09

Bill Gate reflects upon rec... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by marc | June 8, 2007 8:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
marc:

Bill Gate reflects upon receipt of his Doctorate of Digital Entomology degree.

7. Posted by marc | June 8, 2007 8:12 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:12

Bill Gates smiles, secure i... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Bill Gates smiles, secure in the knowledge he's the only person on stage not wearing any pants under his gown.

8. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:14

Bill Gates was later mistak... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Bill Gates was later mistaken for Harry Reid and beaten senseless by people opposed to amnesty for illegal immigrants.

9. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:16

Yes chancellor, that is a m... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Baron Von Ottomatic:

Yes chancellor, that is a mouse in my pocket...

10. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | June 8, 2007 8:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:17

iRule... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 8:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

iRule

11. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 8:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:21

After receiving an honorary... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Margo Demers | June 8, 2007 8:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Margo Demers:

After receiving an honorary degree, Bill Gates revealed Microsoft's newest technology, simply called "Egghead", the totally wireless, take-with-you-anywhere laptop.

12. Posted by Margo Demers | June 8, 2007 8:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:29

After receiving an honorary... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by Margo Demers | June 8, 2007 8:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Margo Demers:

After receiving an honorary degree, Bill Gates revealed Microsoft's newest technology, simply called "Egghead", the totally wireless, take-with-you-anywhere laptop. When not in use, it conveniently stores itself in the "common sense" area of the brain, which nobody seems to use any more.

(apologies for re-post; hit the button before it made any sense!)

13. Posted by Margo Demers | June 8, 2007 8:33 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 08:33

" NO, no Bill we said you e... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Gmax | June 8, 2007 9:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gmax:

" NO, no Bill we said you earned the DUNCE CAP for the way Microsoft's stock has performed of late!"

14. Posted by Gmax | June 8, 2007 9:04 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:04

The HonoraryTM class degree... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by DJ Drummond | June 8, 2007 9:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DJ Drummond:

The HonoraryTM class degree was immediately popular, and early reviews were favorable. It was only later that critical flaws in the degree were discovered, which allowed for Education Theft, corrupted Ideals, Memory loss and system failure. A "patch" was developed, but soon afterwards, university officials admitted that the only correction was an expensive upgrade, and even that would not fix the problem completely or undo the damage.

These problems helped drive demand for an alternative system, the iWork.

15. Posted by DJ Drummond | June 8, 2007 9:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:23

Bill smiled contentedly, kn... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Gmac | June 8, 2007 9:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gmac:

Bill smiled contentedly, knowing his future did not depend on him using his degree.

16. Posted by Gmac | June 8, 2007 9:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:25

Grueling years of study for... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by brainy435 | June 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
brainy435:

Grueling years of study for an ivy-league degree: 4

Years to repay student loans after graduation: 10

Being a college dropout with more money then everyone else assembled: priceless.

17. Posted by brainy435 | June 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:30

You have new software updat... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Mark | June 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mark:

You have new software updates available would you like to download them now?

18. Posted by Mark | June 8, 2007 9:30 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:30

College, didn't need it. </... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by scotty | June 8, 2007 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
scotty:

College, didn't need it.

19. Posted by scotty | June 8, 2007 9:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:37

"Thank you all for this hon... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Falze | June 8, 2007 9:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Falze:

"Thank you all for this honor. In return, I'd like to offer these fine graduates the chance to work for my company for $500,000 per year! As you accept your diploma, you will be given a chance to be hired by me by passing this simple test! OK...I'm thinking of a number between 1 and...70 BILLION!!! Just tell me what it is and you're hired, mwah-ha-ha-ha!"

20. Posted by Falze | June 8, 2007 9:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:37

Harvard graduation 1.0 proj... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Mikey60 | June 8, 2007 9:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mikey60:

Harvard graduation 1.0 projected release date, 1977. Actual delivery date, 2007.

21. Posted by Mikey60 | June 8, 2007 9:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:42

Wow! I REALLY can buy anyth... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Chief White Bear | June 8, 2007 9:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chief White Bear:

Wow! I REALLY can buy anything!

22. Posted by Chief White Bear | June 8, 2007 9:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 09:55

Thunder somewhat stolen, bu... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by rockindoug | June 8, 2007 10:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rockindoug:

Thunder somewhat stolen, but:

"I'm thinking of a number between one and my net worth...."

23. Posted by rockindoug | June 8, 2007 10:05 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:05

Wonder what you have to ach... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Nylda | June 8, 2007 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Nylda:

Wonder what you have to achieve in life to get a degree from Yale?

24. Posted by Nylda | June 8, 2007 10:09 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:09

"Suckers."... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Eric Forhan | June 8, 2007 10:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric Forhan:

"Suckers."

25. Posted by Eric Forhan | June 8, 2007 10:12 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:12

"If only they knew that I n... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by Norm F. | June 8, 2007 10:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Norm F.:

"If only they knew that I named my computer company after a memeorable remark made by my first ever girlfriend when she saw my penis, and this hat looks kind of cool".

26. Posted by Norm F. | June 8, 2007 10:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:17

"Woot"... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 10:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Woot"

27. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 10:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:24

or more correctly"... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 10:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

or more correctly

"w00t"

28. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 10:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:27

"These muggles will respect... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 10:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

"These muggles will respect me now", Harry Gates thinks to himself...

29. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 10:29 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:29

Certainly now, I am the hig... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 10:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Certainly now, I am the highest level Dungeon Master ever...

30. Posted by Jeff | June 8, 2007 10:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:37

Heh heh, I wonder what they... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by John in CA | June 8, 2007 10:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John in CA:

Heh heh, I wonder what they think of the Windows logo I painted on top of this thing

31. Posted by John in CA | June 8, 2007 10:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:42

My reindeer flies sideways,... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by jaymaster | June 8, 2007 10:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
jaymaster:

My reindeer flies sideways, your reindeer flies upside down....

I just love that song. I wonder if I can download it from iTunes?

32. Posted by jaymaster | June 8, 2007 10:43 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:43

What if I woke up tomorrow ... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by kim | June 8, 2007 10:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kim:

What if I woke up tomorrow in Scooter Libby's body?
================================

33. Posted by kim | June 8, 2007 10:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:52

Public health easy? Well, ... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by kim | June 8, 2007 10:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
kim:

Public health easy? Well, at least it is sane and sanitary. Now public policy? Well that's not hard at all, and too easy to introduce a hothoused mutant strain, pathological in the extreme. Are you listening, George?
======================

34. Posted by kim | June 8, 2007 10:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 10:58

"Hmmm... if they give me a ... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 11:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Hmmm... if they give me a Masters Degree I could be known as Master ..."

35. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 8, 2007 11:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 11:17

Gates just found out he's g... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by fustian | June 8, 2007 11:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Gates just found out he's getting an iPhone for graduation.

36. Posted by fustian | June 8, 2007 11:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 11:27

Hey - I can hide my bad hai... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Roy | June 8, 2007 12:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Roy:

Hey - I can hide my bad haircut, and look smart too.

37. Posted by Roy | June 8, 2007 12:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:18

"$49,999,999,999...$50,000,... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Peter F. | June 8, 2007 12:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.:

"$49,999,999,999...$50,000,000,000...$50,000,000,001...hey, I make money just counting to myself..."

38. Posted by Peter F. | June 8, 2007 12:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:20

I wonder if they would find... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Don Singleton | June 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Don Singleton:

I wonder if they would find out if I bought a Mac

39. Posted by Don Singleton | June 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:21

"May I go to the bathroo... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by rockindoug | June 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
rockindoug:

"May I go to the bathroom?"

...


"Thank you"

40. Posted by rockindoug | June 8, 2007 12:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on June 8, 2007 12:21

Bill Gates contemplates buy... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Peter F. | June 8, 2007 12:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Peter F.:

Bill Gates contemplates buying Heaven and what the re-sale value might be.

41. Posted by Peter F. | June 8, 2007 12:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (