This Man Needs Some Help (Wizbang)

He had his thumbs surgically altered to better use his iPhone:

Thomas Martel, 28, of Bonnie Brae is a big guy. So he has a hard time using the features on ever-shrinking user interfaces on devices like his new iPhone. At least, he did, until he had his thumbs surgically altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling."
"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless."

"This is really, on the edge sort of stuff," explains Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who worked on developing the procedure. "We're turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency."

Instapundit, where I first saw this report, now reports that it's a hoax, which I am very, very happy to discover. Northern Denver News explains the purpose behind the fakery.

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Comments (12)

Reads exactly like an Onion... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by RYO | August 12, 2007 11:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

RYO:

Reads exactly like an Onion article.

Posted on August 12, 2007 11:05

Sweet Jesus.... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Mitchell | August 12, 2007 11:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Mitchell:

Sweet Jesus.

Posted on August 12, 2007 11:09

Can't get enough of that wo... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by kim | August 12, 2007 11:22 AM | Score: -1 (1 votes cast)

kim:

Can't get enough of that workplace effeciency, workplace effeciency, workplace effeciency. Can't get enough of that workplace effeciency, if I work my fingers to the bone.
=============================

Posted on August 12, 2007 11:22

I love the words "expensive... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by LAB | August 12, 2007 11:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

LAB:

I love the words "expensive", "efficiency", and useless-uh-"priceless" in the same article. What? They didn't use the term "cutting-edge" as well!? (Pun somewhat intended.)

Posted on August 12, 2007 11:24

The idealist knows the valu... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by kim | August 12, 2007 11:30 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)

The idealist knows the value of everything and the price of nothing, and the cynic the price of everything, but never the value.

h/t ol' Stonewall hisself.
===============================

Posted on August 12, 2007 11:30

What it hoaxed ain't funny.... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by kim | August 12, 2007 11:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

What it hoaxed ain't funny.
==================

Posted on August 12, 2007 11:37

Should've known from 'put t... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by kim | August 12, 2007 11:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Should've known from 'put the hammer down'.
===========================

Eh. Northeren Denver Newz s... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Les Nessman | August 12, 2007 11:50 AM | Score: -1 (1 votes cast)

Les Nessman:

Eh. Northeren Denver Newz sure sounds a little snippy and condescending when it fesses up that it was just a joke article. Are they a serious publication or are they trying to be the Onion?

With all the Lefty news outlets making up stories, how can someone tell the difference when they publish fake stories for humor or when they publish fake stories as 'fact'?

Posted on August 12, 2007 11:50

Funny - I keep seeing this ... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by cirby | August 12, 2007 12:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

cirby:

Funny - I keep seeing this one article, quoted everywhere, but no others on the same story, and zero photos of the guy who supposedly had the surgery.

I'm thinking that it's a scam on the reporter to get some free press for a plastic surgeon...

Posted on August 12, 2007 12:16

A hoax, yep. But I wouldn't... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by James Cloninger | August 12, 2007 3:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

James Cloninger:

A hoax, yep. But I wouldn't be surprised if someday some idiot did get that type of surgery done.

Posted on August 12, 2007 15:26

Here's the Snopes link:... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by cirby | August 12, 2007 3:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Here's the Snopes link:

http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/iphonethumb.asp

This story is satire - not ... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Matt | August 13, 2007 12:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Matt:

This story is satire - not real.

Posted on August 13, 2007 12:26

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