The shortage of real men (Wizbang)

Brace yourself folks, for yet another un-important story for today! Hopefully Lee Ward won't get too excited this time around, since, you know, every post ever published has to be about the most urgent, pressing news stories of the day.

I came across a post today that apparently is about five years old. It's an essay called "The Pussification of the Western Male", written by Kim du Toit (I know it's a well-known essay, but I swear, it's my first time coming across it, just today). I read the entire thing, and loved it. There is some profanity, but it's a great essay (if you're easily offended, then I suggest ignoring this post). I sincerely hope he doesn't mind my reposting a large portion of the essay here (it's after the jump), but it really is such a great read, so be sure to follow the link to read the entire thing.

I know it's incredibly long, but even as a woman, I loved it. I loved every word.

It is ridiculously hard to find real men today. I've dated every antithesis to the real man that exists. One guy was the biggest metrosexual I've ever encountered. He highlighted his short hair -- when he asked me to do it, he complained over and over again about how pulling strands with the tiny metal hook through the cap on his head hurt his scalp so badly. He took baths, in this gigantic tub, with bath beads, bath salts, bath bubbles. He'd light candles and play Enya. He liked to shop. Apparently, he watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy a lot.

I've dated guys with no brains or spines of their own -- they just follow the crowd, doing whatever their friends will do, without ever giving a thought for themselves. I've dated guys that get mad when I don't cuddle at night, or get hurt when I don't want to go into deep discussions about our "feelings".

Are there honestly women out there that are attracted to these kinds of men?

My boyfriend is not one of those men (thank God). I am always shocked to find women attracted to men that take more than half an hour to get ready, or have to get all spruced up to go to the grocery store. I hate it when a guy I might be dating won't do anything -- or care -- when other guys hit on me right in front of them. I just want to shake reality into them! As Kim's wife noted, it could just be a look or a change in his stance -- but a real man won't just let it pass him by. You don't have to go beat the asshole down, but if someone's hitting on your woman right in front of you, do you really think you should just put up with it? I mean, it's more than a little disrespectful to you, the so-called man in the relationship.

I don't want a man who doesn't know anything about sports, cars, and guns. I also don't want a man to sit there and blather on for hours about his "feelings" -- I'm the woman, not you, and that's my department (although any kind of smart woman will try to reserve those conversations for other women only). As much as I may joke about it, it isn't really exciting to hear about a man watching Sex and the City, or wanting to go see the latest Jennifer Lopez chick flick.

Men and women are different. If I wanted to date someone who was sensitive, emotional, stylish, cuddly, and always prepared to talk about "feelings", I'd be a lesbian and date a damn woman. I, and I'd be willing to say most women (real women, anyways), want a real man. When I get married, my husband will be the head of the household, because that's where he should be. It doesn't make my thoughts or opinions any less valid or worthwhile, but he should be the one running things. Ultimately, he's the one who should be in charge.

Real men understand honor, loyalty, camaraderie, duty, valour. They understand the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, and will stand up when needed to simply because it is what's right. They won't care about what the rest of the world thinks about it, because they know they're doing the right thing. Real men are honest, respectful, and loving, but that doesn't mean they aren't a little rough around the edges. I'd be willing to bet they don't want a doormat for a wife or girlfriend -- a strong man will want a strong woman who can understand him.

There's a reason men like Clint Eastwood and John Wayne have timeless appeal with men and women alike. It's because they're real men, men who do tough work, who get sweaty and dirty, who stand up for what's right, who can be menacing and hard, but kind and loving at the same time. They aren't ashamed of being men, most importantly.

We need more men in this country. I have a good feeling you could find a lot of these men in the military, and that's probably why so many women are attracted to the man-in-uniform bit. Soldiers, firefighters, police officers -- that the uniform is sexy is not because of the clothes. It's because of what that uniform represents, and what it signifies to us.

We should be encouraging boys to be boys, not trying to feminize them (sorry, Gloria Steinem). There's a shortage of real men in this country, and I'm lucky enough to have found one of them. We need to start encouraging men to be men again, though -- otherwise, we could end up with a bunch of European girly men... like, say, in France. And that's an ugly thought.

Hat Tip: Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler (and where the inspiration for this post based on a five-year-old essay came from)

Comments (77)

Not to worry, I'm sure Lee,... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by BillyBob | August 27, 2007 6:07 PM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)

BillyBob:

Not to worry, I'm sure Lee, NoGo, Barney, and all the other poo flinging liberal miserable socialist pussies will chime in soon.

Thank a leftist feminazi for the pussification of the American male. Woman can't make up their mind what they want and gay agenda pushed by the media has made it seem OK for these pussies to, well, act like pussies.

It's a cycle that will only lead to shrinks making mega bucks off folks like Lee lying on the couch fretting over his jeans make him look fat.

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:07

Speaking of real men - Larr... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by jp2 | August 27, 2007 6:13 PM | Score: -8 (8 votes cast)

jp2:

Speaking of real men - Larry Craig.

(Look elsewhere for coverage)

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:13

Apologies - Jay Tea pulls t... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by jp2 | August 27, 2007 6:19 PM | Score: -7 (7 votes cast)

Apologies - Jay Tea pulls through!

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:19

Cassy, you've broken every ... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by John in CA | August 27, 2007 6:23 PM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

John in CA:

Cassy, you've broken every guy's heart here by acknowledging you have a boyfriend.

Someone like jp2 would think that's a real man.

You mean, like the post prior to this one?

But not to fear. Certainly leeward will be, ummm, all over this story.

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:23

Why would I disagree with t... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by JFO | August 27, 2007 6:34 PM | Score: -13 (15 votes cast)

JFO:

Why would I disagree with this woman. Her experience clearly is dating like minded wingnuts as no other self-respecting male would go near her. How does it feel to be called a pussy by one of your own boys?

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:34

JFO, if you have sny self-r... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by John Irving | August 27, 2007 6:38 PM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)

John Irving:

JFO, if you have sny self-respect at all, it's because you're the only person deluded enough to give you any respect.

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:38

I have seen this change in ... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by jennifer | August 27, 2007 6:39 PM | Score: 6 (8 votes cast)

jennifer:

I have seen this change in men in the last 20 years and do not understand it. What are we saying to our daughters that we compete for hair dye too?

I am married to a real man, and today is our anniversary, and I wrote a tribute to him!!

I hope that this trend ends, because like the cowboy before, I do not want a real American to fall to the wayside for the likes of a metrosexual man.

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:39

Ultimately, he's the one... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Sara | August 27, 2007 6:43 PM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)

Sara:

Ultimately, he's the one who should be in charge.>

Correction: Ultimately, he's the one who should think he's in charge.

Some men confuse being controlling as being powerful. They are usually the abusers.

Some men think we want them to be sensitive when we really want them to protect us, stand up for us, be there and be counted on to watch our backs.

We don't want a Ken doll or some metrosexual type.

A man of steel and velvet, a secure self-assured man comfortable in his own skin. who is honest and trustworthy, a "can do" man, not a man who whines about what he or everyone else can't or won't do. And definitely not a braggart. If you have to brag about being a real man or all the things you do or own that you think makes you a real man -- you aren't.

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:43

WOW, it all reads like a Jo... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by marc | August 27, 2007 6:45 PM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)

marc:

WOW, it all reads like a John Kerry or John Edwards bio.

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:45

Hit a sensitive nerve there... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by JFO | August 27, 2007 6:56 PM | Score: -7 (9 votes cast)

Hit a sensitive nerve there did I pus...err John Irving?

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:56

JFO, obviously masculinity ... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by SPQR | August 27, 2007 6:59 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

SPQR:

JFO, obviously masculinity is not an issue for adolescents. Time for you to grow up.

Posted on August 27, 2007 18:59

Cassy:I heartily r... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by pennywit | August 27, 2007 7:01 PM | Score: 3 (7 votes cast)

pennywit:

Cassy:

I heartily recomment Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job, a hearty defense of the Beta Male. I won't spoil the whole thing, but suffice it to say that according to the theory espoused in that book, the Beta Male multiplied because the Alpha Male, he of conflicts and dominance, went off to fight wars with other Alpha Males, and the Beta Male was left behind to comfort the widows ...

--|PW|--

Posted on August 27, 2007 19:01

Ah, I found it: Moore's hi... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by pennywit | August 27, 2007 7:05 PM | Score: 3 (7 votes cast)

Ah, I found it: Moore's hilarious essay on the Beta male. A taste:

That is, when the alpha males were out charging after mastodons, the beta males could imagine in advance that attacking what was essentially an angry, wooly bulldozer with a pointy stick, might be a losing proposition, so he hung back at camp to console the grieving widows whose Alpha-male mates had been stomped into mastodon moss. When alpha males set out to conquer neighboring tribes, to count coup and take heads, beta males could see in advance that in the event of a victory, the influx of female slaves was going to leave a surplus of mateless women cast out for younger trophy models, with nothing to do but salt down the heads and file the uncounted coups, and many would need find solace in the arms of any beta male smart enough to survive.

Posted on August 27, 2007 19:05

There are certainly few men... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Jo | August 27, 2007 7:12 PM | Score: 4 (8 votes cast)

Jo:

There are certainly few men in the Democrat party. If I were single, I could never date one. Can you imagine a real man saying "Gee, those wussy soft on crime, terrorist sympathizers really speak to me. They soooo get me."

Ewwwwwwwwww. No thanks. Real men vote GOP.

Posted on August 27, 2007 19:12

Item: There are <a href="ht... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Francis W. Porretto | August 27, 2007 7:39 PM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Francis W. Porretto:

Item: There are manly virtues, and a Y-chromosome bearer must have them to qualify as a man.

Item: There are also manly deficits, which come upon us all with the passing of the years, and American men, though among the best of the Western world, should learn to cope with them somewhat better than they have to date.

I blame gender-war feminism and political correctness for our problems of the first sort, and our media-powered "youth culture" for our problems of the second sort.

Posted on August 27, 2007 19:39

Jo,So do real wome... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by Sheik Yur Bouty | August 27, 2007 7:43 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)

Sheik Yur Bouty:

Jo,

So do real women.

Posted on August 27, 2007 19:43

"Hit a sensitive nerve ther... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by yo | August 27, 2007 7:47 PM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)

yo:

"Hit a sensitive nerve there did I pus...err John Irving?"

Says the man who gargles Vagisil each night before going to bed ...

Posted on August 27, 2007 19:47

Well, I was starting to thi... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Knightbrigade | August 27, 2007 8:23 PM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)

Knightbrigade:

Well, I was starting to think I was a dinosaur outdated and looked upon negatively.

Now, as an NRA, NON-PC, leader type kind of guy, I guess there is hope huh!? lmao

Liberal clowns like the Breck girl-John Edwards with their pretty hair, really ARE wusses...

Posted on August 27, 2007 20:23

sarah... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by HughS | August 27, 2007 8:23 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

HughS:

sarah

No sara, he should believe he's in charge.

Thinking about it when it counts doesn't...count. A man has to believe it.

A man thinks about it before he believes it.

BTW, Great post Cassy.

Liberal clowns like the ... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Brian | August 27, 2007 8:46 PM | Score: -3 (5 votes cast)

Brian:

Hey, then what do you think of Maybelline Man Romney?

Posted on August 27, 2007 20:46

Mitt styles his hair in the... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by yo | August 27, 2007 8:56 PM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)

Mitt styles his hair in the exhaust stream of an F-18.

Edwards is still a pu**y.

Posted on August 27, 2007 20:56

Hey, then what do you... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by HughS | August 27, 2007 8:56 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Brian, are you looking for a date? Is that the teenage indication of interest approach or do you just think he is cute?

Hey, then what do ... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by John in CA | August 27, 2007 9:15 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Ding dong. There's a difference between someone who makes sure he looks good and one who let's his vanity define him - as Edwards does.

John Kerry and John Edwards at their announcement press conference: "And we have better hair!"

Thought I was going to puke.

Posted on August 27, 2007 21:15

Dang Cassy where were you 5... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by jhow66 | August 27, 2007 10:07 PM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)

jhow66:

Dang Cassy where were you 52 years ago? Oh well like they say ,52 years late and $52 short.

Posted on August 27, 2007 22:07

OMG, Real men s... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by civil behavior | August 27, 2007 10:18 PM | Score: -7 (7 votes cast)

civil behavior:

OMG, Real men should be the one running things.

You mean like George Bush? Dick?

Running it into the ground?

Oh yes, more real men like that please.

Tough enough and with so much backbone they avoided serving teir country when they could have. Yep, some real men in those two idols.

Posted on August 27, 2007 22:18

George W Bush, pussy extrao... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by JFO | August 27, 2007 10:25 PM | Score: -10 (10 votes cast)

George W Bush, pussy extraordinaire: "Daddy, get me out a that there Vetnam will ya"? "Sure son, here's a fun jet to ride around in in the US, that is whenever you feel like showing up."

Posted on August 27, 2007 22:25

JFOCould you fly tha... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by HughS | August 27, 2007 10:34 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

JFO
Could you fly that jet? Can you fly that jet?

Posted on August 27, 2007 22:34

Notice how excited the moon... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Jim Addison | August 27, 2007 10:39 PM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)

Jim Addison:

Notice how excited the moonbat morons are about this.

Methinks they doth protest too much.

Posted on August 27, 2007 22:39

I must admit that this is t... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Don | August 27, 2007 10:41 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Don:

I must admit that this is truly a great post.
If I were 40 or 50 years younger now, I would most likely have a grand time (a little less competition now, then back then) :)
As luck would have it, I was born at the right time, for me, and have had a great time getting here none the less.
A suggestion to the young ladies, there really are men out there, don't just settle for second best.

Posted on August 27, 2007 22:41

Just stay away from the don... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Don | August 27, 2007 10:46 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)

Just stay away from the donky party, you will have a hard time finding a man there

Posted on August 27, 2007 22:46

I hunt, fish, spit, scratch... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Buckhunter | August 27, 2007 11:37 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

Buckhunter:

I hunt, fish, spit, scratch the twins,lift heavy things, chase down scary noises, when necessary, smoke, drink, open doors for women, leave the elevator last, take out the garbage, unclog the tolets, clean the puke, fix the cars, eat a sandwich with dirty hands, watch sports, swear like a sailor once in a while, pray to the Lord, protect my family at all cost, and will never change. Men in their twenties can't even talk like men anymore. They are too busy highlighting their hair and hanging out with chicks they are not trying to sleep with. We can not let this trend continue if we are going to survive in this crazy world.

Posted on August 27, 2007 23:37

Why would I disagr... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by John in CA | August 27, 2007 11:56 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)

jfo, was there a point somewhere in that comment? Or was it all just in an effort for you to take a cheap shot at Cassy?

Posted on August 27, 2007 23:56

Brian, are you looking f... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Brian | August 28, 2007 12:18 AM | Score: -3 (3 votes cast)

Neither. I was responding to the previous poster, who was fawning over "Breck girl-John Edwards with their pretty hair". Try to keep up.

Posted on August 28, 2007 00:18

Cassy, you've broken eve... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Brian | August 28, 2007 12:20 AM | Score: -4 (8 votes cast)

That comment made me throw up a little in my mouth.