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The shortage of real men

Brace yourself folks, for yet another un-important story for today! Hopefully Lee Ward won't get too excited this time around, since, you know, every post ever published has to be about the most urgent, pressing news stories of the day.

I came across a post today that apparently is about five years old. It's an essay called "The Pussification of the Western Male", written by Kim du Toit (I know it's a well-known essay, but I swear, it's my first time coming across it, just today). I read the entire thing, and loved it. There is some profanity, but it's a great essay (if you're easily offended, then I suggest ignoring this post). I sincerely hope he doesn't mind my reposting a large portion of the essay here (it's after the jump), but it really is such a great read, so be sure to follow the link to read the entire thing.

I know it's incredibly long, but even as a woman, I loved it. I loved every word.

It is ridiculously hard to find real men today. I've dated every antithesis to the real man that exists. One guy was the biggest metrosexual I've ever encountered. He highlighted his short hair -- when he asked me to do it, he complained over and over again about how pulling strands with the tiny metal hook through the cap on his head hurt his scalp so badly. He took baths, in this gigantic tub, with bath beads, bath salts, bath bubbles. He'd light candles and play Enya. He liked to shop. Apparently, he watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy a lot.

I've dated guys with no brains or spines of their own -- they just follow the crowd, doing whatever their friends will do, without ever giving a thought for themselves. I've dated guys that get mad when I don't cuddle at night, or get hurt when I don't want to go into deep discussions about our "feelings".

Are there honestly women out there that are attracted to these kinds of men?

My boyfriend is not one of those men (thank God). I am always shocked to find women attracted to men that take more than half an hour to get ready, or have to get all spruced up to go to the grocery store. I hate it when a guy I might be dating won't do anything -- or care -- when other guys hit on me right in front of them. I just want to shake reality into them! As Kim's wife noted, it could just be a look or a change in his stance -- but a real man won't just let it pass him by. You don't have to go beat the asshole down, but if someone's hitting on your woman right in front of you, do you really think you should just put up with it? I mean, it's more than a little disrespectful to you, the so-called man in the relationship.

I don't want a man who doesn't know anything about sports, cars, and guns. I also don't want a man to sit there and blather on for hours about his "feelings" -- I'm the woman, not you, and that's my department (although any kind of smart woman will try to reserve those conversations for other women only). As much as I may joke about it, it isn't really exciting to hear about a man watching Sex and the City, or wanting to go see the latest Jennifer Lopez chick flick.

Men and women are different. If I wanted to date someone who was sensitive, emotional, stylish, cuddly, and always prepared to talk about "feelings", I'd be a lesbian and date a damn woman. I, and I'd be willing to say most women (real women, anyways), want a real man. When I get married, my husband will be the head of the household, because that's where he should be. It doesn't make my thoughts or opinions any less valid or worthwhile, but he should be the one running things. Ultimately, he's the one who should be in charge.

Real men understand honor, loyalty, camaraderie, duty, valour. They understand the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, and will stand up when needed to simply because it is what's right. They won't care about what the rest of the world thinks about it, because they know they're doing the right thing. Real men are honest, respectful, and loving, but that doesn't mean they aren't a little rough around the edges. I'd be willing to bet they don't want a doormat for a wife or girlfriend -- a strong man will want a strong woman who can understand him.

There's a reason men like Clint Eastwood and John Wayne have timeless appeal with men and women alike. It's because they're real men, men who do tough work, who get sweaty and dirty, who stand up for what's right, who can be menacing and hard, but kind and loving at the same time. They aren't ashamed of being men, most importantly.

We need more men in this country. I have a good feeling you could find a lot of these men in the military, and that's probably why so many women are attracted to the man-in-uniform bit. Soldiers, firefighters, police officers -- that the uniform is sexy is not because of the clothes. It's because of what that uniform represents, and what it signifies to us.

We should be encouraging boys to be boys, not trying to feminize them (sorry, Gloria Steinem). There's a shortage of real men in this country, and I'm lucky enough to have found one of them. We need to start encouraging men to be men again, though -- otherwise, we could end up with a bunch of European girly men... like, say, in France. And that's an ugly thought.

Hat Tip: Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler (and where the inspiration for this post based on a five-year-old essay came from)

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Comments (77)

Not to worry, I'm sure Lee,... (Below threshold)
BillyBob:

Not to worry, I'm sure Lee, NoGo, Barney, and all the other poo flinging liberal miserable socialist pussies will chime in soon.

Thank a leftist feminazi for the pussification of the American male. Woman can't make up their mind what they want and gay agenda pushed by the media has made it seem OK for these pussies to, well, act like pussies.

It's a cycle that will only lead to shrinks making mega bucks off folks like Lee lying on the couch fretting over his jeans make him look fat.

Speaking of real men - Larr... (Below threshold)
jp2:

Speaking of real men - Larry Craig.

(Look elsewhere for coverage)

Apologies - Jay Tea pulls t... (Below threshold)
jp2:

Apologies - Jay Tea pulls through!

Cassy, you've broken every ... (Below threshold)

Cassy, you've broken every guy's heart here by acknowledging you have a boyfriend.

Speaking of real men - Larry Craig.

Someone like jp2 would think that's a real man.

(Look elsewhere for coverage)


You mean, like the post prior to this one?

But not to fear. Certainly leeward will be, ummm, all over this story.

Why would I disagree with t... (Below threshold)
JFO:

Why would I disagree with this woman. Her experience clearly is dating like minded wingnuts as no other self-respecting male would go near her. How does it feel to be called a pussy by one of your own boys?

JFO, if you have sny self-r... (Below threshold)
John Irving:

JFO, if you have sny self-respect at all, it's because you're the only person deluded enough to give you any respect.

I have seen this change in ... (Below threshold)

I have seen this change in men in the last 20 years and do not understand it. What are we saying to our daughters that we compete for hair dye too?

I am married to a real man, and today is our anniversary, and I wrote a tribute to him!!

I hope that this trend ends, because like the cowboy before, I do not want a real American to fall to the wayside for the likes of a metrosexual man.

Ultimately, he's the one... (Below threshold)
Sara:

Ultimately, he's the one who should be in charge.>

Correction: Ultimately, he's the one who should think he's in charge.

Some men confuse being controlling as being powerful. They are usually the abusers.

Some men think we want them to be sensitive when we really want them to protect us, stand up for us, be there and be counted on to watch our backs.

We don't want a Ken doll or some metrosexual type.

A man of steel and velvet, a secure self-assured man comfortable in his own skin. who is honest and trustworthy, a "can do" man, not a man who whines about what he or everyone else can't or won't do. And definitely not a braggart. If you have to brag about being a real man or all the things you do or own that you think makes you a real man -- you aren't.

WOW, it all reads like a Jo... (Below threshold)
marc:

WOW, it all reads like a John Kerry or John Edwards bio.

Hit a sensitive nerve there... (Below threshold)
JFO:

Hit a sensitive nerve there did I pus...err John Irving?

JFO, obviously masculinity ... (Below threshold)
SPQR:

JFO, obviously masculinity is not an issue for adolescents. Time for you to grow up.

Cassy:I heartily r... (Below threshold)
pennywit:

Cassy:

I heartily recomment Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job, a hearty defense of the Beta Male. I won't spoil the whole thing, but suffice it to say that according to the theory espoused in that book, the Beta Male multiplied because the Alpha Male, he of conflicts and dominance, went off to fight wars with other Alpha Males, and the Beta Male was left behind to comfort the widows ...

--|PW|--

Ah, I found it: Moore's hi... (Below threshold)
pennywit:

Ah, I found it: Moore's hilarious essay on the Beta male. A taste:

That is, when the alpha males were out charging after mastodons, the beta males could imagine in advance that attacking what was essentially an angry, wooly bulldozer with a pointy stick, might be a losing proposition, so he hung back at camp to console the grieving widows whose Alpha-male mates had been stomped into mastodon moss. When alpha males set out to conquer neighboring tribes, to count coup and take heads, beta males could see in advance that in the event of a victory, the influx of female slaves was going to leave a surplus of mateless women cast out for younger trophy models, with nothing to do but salt down the heads and file the uncounted coups, and many would need find solace in the arms of any beta male smart enough to survive.

--|PW|--

There are certainly few men... (Below threshold)
Jo:

There are certainly few men in the Democrat party. If I were single, I could never date one. Can you imagine a real man saying "Gee, those wussy soft on crime, terrorist sympathizers really speak to me. They soooo get me."

Ewwwwwwwwww. No thanks. Real men vote GOP.

Item: There are <a href="ht... (Below threshold)

Item: There are manly virtues, and a Y-chromosome bearer must have them to qualify as a man.

Item: There are also manly deficits, which come upon us all with the passing of the years, and American men, though among the best of the Western world, should learn to cope with them somewhat better than they have to date.

I blame gender-war feminism and political correctness for our problems of the first sort, and our media-powered "youth culture" for our problems of the second sort.

Jo,So do real wome... (Below threshold)
Sheik Yur Bouty:

Jo,

So do real women.

"Hit a sensitive nerve ther... (Below threshold)
yo:

"Hit a sensitive nerve there did I pus...err John Irving?"


Says the man who gargles Vagisil each night before going to bed ...

Well, I was starting to thi... (Below threshold)
Knightbrigade:

Well, I was starting to think I was a dinosaur outdated and looked upon negatively.

Now, as an NRA, NON-PC, leader type kind of guy, I guess there is hope huh!? lmao

Liberal clowns like the Breck girl-John Edwards with their pretty hair, really ARE wusses...

sarah... (Below threshold)


sarah

Correction: Ultimately, he's the one who should think he's in charge.

No sara, he should believe he's in charge.

Thinking about it when it counts doesn't...count. A man has to believe it.

A man thinks about it before he believes it.

BTW, Great post Cassy.

Liberal clowns like the ... (Below threshold)
Brian:

Liberal clowns like the Breck girl-John Edwards with their pretty hair, really ARE wusses...

Hey, then what do you think of Maybelline Man Romney?

Mitt styles his hair in the... (Below threshold)
yo:

Mitt styles his hair in the exhaust stream of an F-18.

Edwards is still a pu**y.

Hey, then what do you... (Below threshold)

Hey, then what do you think of Maybelline Man Romney?

Brian, are you looking for a date? Is that the teenage indication of interest approach or do you just think he is cute?

Hey, then what do ... (Below threshold)
Hey, then what do you think of Maybelline Man Romney?

Ding dong. There's a difference between someone who makes sure he looks good and one who let's his vanity define him - as Edwards does.

John Kerry and John Edwards at their announcement press conference: "And we have better hair!"

Thought I was going to puke.

Dang Cassy where were you 5... (Below threshold)
jhow66:

Dang Cassy where were you 52 years ago? Oh well like they say ,52 years late and $52 short.

OMG, Real men s... (Below threshold)
civil behavior:

OMG, Real men should be the one running things.

You mean like George Bush? Dick?

Running it into the ground?

Oh yes, more real men like that please.

Tough enough and with so much backbone they avoided serving teir country when they could have. Yep, some real men in those two idols.

George W Bush, pussy extrao... (Below threshold)
JFO:

George W Bush, pussy extraordinaire: "Daddy, get me out a that there Vetnam will ya"? "Sure son, here's a fun jet to ride around in in the US, that is whenever you feel like showing up."

JFOCould you fly tha... (Below threshold)

JFO
Could you fly that jet? Can you fly that jet?

Notice how excited the moon... (Below threshold)

Notice how excited the moonbat morons are about this.

Methinks they doth protest too much.

I must admit that this is t... (Below threshold)
Don:

I must admit that this is truly a great post.
If I were 40 or 50 years younger now, I would most likely have a grand time (a little less competition now, then back then) :)
As luck would have it, I was born at the right time, for me, and have had a great time getting here none the less.
A suggestion to the young ladies, there really are men out there, don't just settle for second best.

Just stay away from the don... (Below threshold)
Don:

Just stay away from the donky party, you will have a hard time finding a man there

I hunt, fish, spit, scratch... (Below threshold)
Buckhunter:

I hunt, fish, spit, scratch the twins,lift heavy things, chase down scary noises, when necessary, smoke, drink, open doors for women, leave the elevator last, take out the garbage, unclog the tolets, clean the puke, fix the cars, eat a sandwich with dirty hands, watch sports, swear like a sailor once in a while, pray to the Lord, protect my family at all cost, and will never change. Men in their twenties can't even talk like men anymore. They are too busy highlighting their hair and hanging out with chicks they are not trying to sleep with. We can not let this trend continue if we are going to survive in this crazy world.

Why would I disagr... (Below threshold)
Why would I disagree with this woman. Her experience clearly is dating like minded wingnuts as no other self-respecting male would go near her. How does it feel to be called a pussy by one of your own boys?

jfo, was there a point somewhere in that comment? Or was it all just in an effort for you to take a cheap shot at Cassy?

Brian, are you looking f... (Below threshold)
Brian:

Brian, are you looking for a date? Is that the teenage indication of interest approach or do you just think he is cute?

Neither. I was responding to the previous poster, who was fawning over "Breck girl-John Edwards with their pretty hair". Try to keep up.

Cassy, you've broken eve... (Below threshold)
Brian:

Cassy, you've broken every guy's heart here by acknowledging you have a boyfriend.

That comment made me throw up a little in my mouth.

There's a difference bet... (Below threshold)
Brian:

There's a difference between someone who makes sure he looks good and one who let's his vanity define him - as Edwards does.

And you base that on what? His $400 haircut, vs. Romney's $300 makeover? A flip comment at a press conference? Is that all you got?

To me, the bigger mystery i... (Below threshold)
Brian:

To me, the bigger mystery is why jhow even posts here anymore, considering that now even his own side thinks he's a "disingenuous buffoon".

Thankfully, there still exi... (Below threshold)