Today's Boston Globe has a story that Ted Kennedy is considering writing a book about his life in public service. I thought that the Senior Senator (D-Chivas) could use a little help, so why don't we suggest a few titles he might use?
I'll start things off:
Who Says Fat, Drunk, And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life?
My 45 Years Of Screwing Up America
You CAN Fool All Of The People All Of The Time... As Long As They're From Massachusetts
Never An Honest Day's Work
...And I Alone Survived: An American Tragedy (Subtitle: Joe Jr,, Jack, and Bobby died, and this guy made it?
Named For The Family Chauffeur, But I Sure As Hell Can't Drive Like He Could
OK, I've had my fun. Now you folks go at it.
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Asshats
Comments (76)
The Unforgiven.... (Below threshold)1. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:09 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
The Unforgiven.
1. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:09 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:09
2. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:09 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Grapes of Sloth.
2. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:09 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:09
3. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:11 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
To Kill a Kopechne.
3. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:11 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:11
4. Posted by Bullwinkle | September 16, 2007 2:13 PM | Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
Profiles in Slurrage.
4. Posted by Bullwinkle | September 16, 2007 2:13 PM |
Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:13
5. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:19 PM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Worn and Pieced.
5. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:19 PM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:19
6. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:40 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Bullwinkle Wins, but here are some other JFK inspired entries sure to engage JT:
Why Massachusetts Slept
State of Idiots
6. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 2:40 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:40
7. Posted by Jason | September 16, 2007 2:40 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
How to Kill Friends and Influence No One But Gullible Voters
7. Posted by Jason | September 16, 2007 2:40 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:40
8. Posted by Jason | September 16, 2007 2:43 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
My Left Manboob
8. Posted by Jason | September 16, 2007 2:43 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:43
9. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 2:44 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Teddy Potted and the Oldsmobile of Death
9. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 2:44 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:44
10. Posted by Jason | September 16, 2007 2:47 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Liquid Courage: the Teddy Kennedy Story
10. Posted by Jason | September 16, 2007 2:47 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:47
11. Posted by Zelsdorf Ragshaft III | September 16, 2007 2:47 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Dishonored
11. Posted by Zelsdorf Ragshaft III | September 16, 2007 2:47 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:47
12. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 2:47 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
A Bridge Too Drunk
12. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 2:47 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:47
13. Posted by Jason | September 16, 2007 2:48 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
How about:
Drunk, Depantsed, Disheveled and Dishonored
13. Posted by Jason | September 16, 2007 2:48 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:48
14. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 2:59 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
300 -proof
14. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 2:59 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 14:59
15. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 3:02 PM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Tuesdays With Johnnie Walker
15. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 3:02 PM |
Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 15:02
16. Posted by Bungalowlife | September 16, 2007 3:02 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Up From Sloth
16. Posted by Bungalowlife | September 16, 2007 3:02 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 15:02
17. Posted by Gringo | September 16, 2007 3:38 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Is "Moby Dick" taken?
17. Posted by Gringo | September 16, 2007 3:38 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 15:38
18. Posted by David | September 16, 2007 3:44 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
If it's Scotch it must be Monday morning
A Bridge too Far
(yes it is taken, but If Joe Biden can do it why not Teddy).
My life as the top slice of a Waitress Sandwhich, with an introduction by Chris "bottom slice" Dodd.
18. Posted by David | September 16, 2007 3:44 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 15:44
19. Posted by 2cuteX1/2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 3:44 PM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
"The Politically Correct Guide to Hating Your Country"
"The Idiots Guide to Killing Chicks"
"Everything you wanted to know about making a waitress sandwich, but were afraid to ask"
19. Posted by 2cuteX1/2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 3:44 PM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 15:44
20. Posted by 2cuteX1/2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 3:55 PM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
"Goodbye Mary Jo, hello decades of success in the dem party"
Ted Kennedy: How to lose a ton, stay sober and protect the Constitution, an instruction manual (Forward by Kim Jong il)
20. Posted by 2cuteX1/2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 3:55 PM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 15:55
21. Posted by capitano | September 16, 2007 4:11 PM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
The Great Gasbag
Gone with the Wind Farm
Massholes: We're Not All Drunk, We Just Drive that Way
21. Posted by capitano | September 16, 2007 4:11 PM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:11
22. Posted by 2cuteX1/2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 4:12 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
The Bubble (King Bill version)
chapter 1) verse 13) And the family attorney said, Lo, and there was a misdemeanor, cast down upon The Chosen One. And he beheld the Oldsmobile, and it was good. And Teddy said, I prayed the Lord give me a firmament, 'neath my shoddin hooves, And it was so. And Chivas begat Regal, etc., etc.
...
22. Posted by 2cuteX1/2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 4:12 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:12
23. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 4:21 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Drunk With Power: The Teddy Kennedy Story
23. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 4:21 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:21
24. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 4:29 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Dude! Where's My Pants?
24. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 4:29 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:29
25. Posted by marc | September 16, 2007 4:35 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Politics for [Fat Assed] Dummies.
25. Posted by marc | September 16, 2007 4:35 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:35
26. Posted by 2cuteX1/2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 4:43 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"Catch 22 -broads in a limo"
"How to Speak to a Tanked Senator (if you must)"
"A Tree gets peed on, and dies, in Boston"
"Treason: A how to manual"
"Power to the Bartender!"
"The Looming Blowhard"
"Liberal obfuscations to conservative truths"
"Roses to the left of me, a pool to the right (How I staggered between them unscathed)"
"101 Temperance Laws that could ruin America"
"The Drinker You Vote, The Senator You Get"
"Do (nothing) as I say. I'm a horrible creep, didn't you know ?
26. Posted by 2cuteX1/2![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 4:43 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:43
27. Posted by Son Of The Godfather | September 16, 2007 4:44 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Fatenheit 911 (lbs)
27. Posted by Son Of The Godfather | September 16, 2007 4:44 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:44
28. Posted by Son Of The Godfather | September 16, 2007 4:49 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
The Windmills Of My Mind... But Not My Backyard
28. Posted by Son Of The Godfather | September 16, 2007 4:49 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:49
29. Posted by spurwing plover | September 16, 2007 4:50 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Mein kampf II
29. Posted by spurwing plover | September 16, 2007 4:50 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:50
30. Posted by rodney dill | September 16, 2007 4:56 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
If I Did It
30. Posted by rodney dill | September 16, 2007 4:56 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 16:56
31. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 5:01 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
The Fellowship of the Drink
The Two Faces
The Return of the DrinKing
31. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 5:01 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 17:01
32. Posted by JFO | September 16, 2007 5:10 PM | Score: -13 (13 votes cast)
Fair is Fair here so I'll do some fo [b]ush's autobiography.
Who Says Coke Snorting, Drunk, And Stupid Is No Way To Get To Be President.
My 8 Years Of Screwing Up The World
You CAN Lie TOl All Of The People All Of The Time... As Long As They're From The Right Wing
Never An Honest Day's Work - Always on Vacation
...And I Alone Survived ; I Destroyed The Middle Easy All By Myself
Named For My Daddy But Not Big Enough To Fill His ShoesI
32. Posted by JFO | September 16, 2007 5:10 PM |
Score: -13 (13 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 17:10
33. Posted by Jo | September 16, 2007 5:19 PM | Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
JFO: I'm a big fat idiot who can't stay on topic...
ADD I guess.
33. Posted by Jo | September 16, 2007 5:19 PM |
Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 17:19
34. Posted by JFO | September 16, 2007 5:22 PM | Score: -10 (10 votes cast)
Ooops so sorry about that JO. I thought idiots was the topic.
34. Posted by JFO | September 16, 2007 5:22 PM |
Score: -10 (10 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 17:22
35. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 5:53 PM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
"JFO: I'm a big fat idiot who can't stay on topic..."
C'mon, Jo! There's no indication that he's fat!
35. Posted by alacrityfitzhugh | September 16, 2007 5:53 PM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 17:53
36. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 6:01 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Other than having to make a small change on numbers one and five, the NYT Bestselling non fiction list does pretty well too:
1. TAKING
2. MOTHER TERESA: COME BE MY LIGHT
3. LONE SURVIVOR
4. DEAD CERTAIN
5. QUIET STRENGTH, LOUD STENCH
36. Posted by epador | September 16, 2007 6:01 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 18:01
37. Posted by Darleen | September 16, 2007 6:14 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Kennedy Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry
37. Posted by Darleen | September 16, 2007 6:14 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 18:14
38. Posted by JFO | September 16, 2007 6:20 PM | Score: -16 (16 votes cast)
Being a [b]ush Means Never Being Able To Say You Were Right
38. Posted by JFO | September 16, 2007 6:20 PM |
Score: -16 (16 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 18:20
39. Posted by JFO<3Terrorists | September 16, 2007 6:58 PM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Jackass Fellating Ostrich?
39. Posted by JFO<3Terrorists | September 16, 2007 6:58 PM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on September 16, 2007 18:58
40. Posted by tee bee![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 7:30 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Priceless, epador. Alternates:
Court Jester of Camelot: Ted Kennedy and the Career only Machiavelli Could Explain
Now I think we should jump to the ghostwriting part. One should always work with a sharp opening paragraph. Ahem:
"It was a dark and lonely night. Although he knew the breathy bubbling welling up from the river belonged to the pretty contents of the car, he bit his lip and turned and trudged toward the light of the distant house, knowing it was better this way. 'Help is at hand!' he thought to himself. 'They'll have a phone, and plenty of Crown Royal on ice.'
40. Posted by tee bee![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://wizbangblog.com/nav-commenters.gif)
| September 16, 2007 7:30 PM |
