I've often cited P. J. O'Rourke's "Parliament Of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts To Explain The Entire U. S. Government" as one of the greatest influences on my political beliefs. With DJ's piece yesterday, I'm starting to wonder if I'm not the only Wizbanger who can say that.
DJ wrote "The God Who Votes." PJ's Preface to "Parliament Of Whores" is titled "Why God Is A Republican and Why Santa Claus Is A Democrat." I'm going to quote a bit of that here, as a sort-of response to DJ's piece:
But although this is a conservative book, it is not informed by any very elaborate political theory. I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is that God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.God is an elderly or, at any rate, a middle-aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and literally holds the mortgage on everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.
Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.
I know it's odd for a declared agnostic like me to so favorably quote something that affirms the existence of God, but that pretty much sums it up. Well, that and a couple other PJ quotes, conveniently put on the back of my copy of Parliament Of Whores:
Democrats are... the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government can't work, and then they get elected and prove it.
And this one says it all:
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.(Got your copy yet, Oyster?)




Comments (16)
Actually, over the last 12 ... (Below threshold)1. Posted by rick kennerly | October 4, 2007 6:20 AM | Score: -2 (4 votes cast)
Actually, over the last 12 years the GOP has managed to be more like the boozed up adolescent driver mentioned above: fiscally irresponsible--handing out tax cuts willy-nilly AND expanding government faster than any dem in the recent memory, ballooning the federal deficit, and generally acting irresponsibly and petty. The uber-Santa Claus of all time.
I mean, what a shame for one party to hold both houses and the presidency for so long and to just make a joke of the genuine gains of the Gingrich revolution and make so few real gains.
By the O'Rourke description above, God is not a Republican--sober, rational, accountable, fiscally responsible, forward looking.
We must continue or search for political God, it seems.
1. Posted by rick kennerly | October 4, 2007 6:20 AM |
Score: -2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 06:20
2. Posted by DaveD | October 4, 2007 7:26 AM | Score: -1 (3 votes cast)
Sadly, I must agree with Rick. Although in this age of victimhood and distain for having to face the consequences of one's own actions, perhaps this explains why God seems so unpopular.
2. Posted by DaveD | October 4, 2007 7:26 AM |
Score: -1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 07:26
3. Posted by drjohn | October 4, 2007 7:33 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
PJ and Mark Twain are favorite authors of all time. It's hard for me to read one of his book's without laughing out loud.
Holidays in Hell and CEO of the Sofa are two that come right to mind in that vein.
And Parliament of Whores is a classic for its accurate depiction of government and ought to be a must-read for college students- or any students for that matter.
He and I are of a similar mind.
Now I need to go mix that drink.....
3. Posted by drjohn | October 4, 2007 7:33 AM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 07:33
4. Posted by rick kennerly | October 4, 2007 7:42 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
A little early, but I'll drink to that. Try my Geriatric Screwdriver:
1 oz. vodka
6 oz. water
1 Tablespoon orange flavored Metamucil
Two or three of those in the morning should get things movin'.
4. Posted by rick kennerly | October 4, 2007 7:42 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 07:42
5. Posted by Oyster | October 4, 2007 7:46 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Okay, weird. I was just looking at the cover of the book (it was at the front door when I got home from work last night) and how odd it is that Jay posts about it again this morning :) Then I read to the end of the post.
Rick K: we see that and we understand that they have essentially tossed their principles out the window. But they didn't do it alone.
While the Democrats have bitterly complained over and over out one side of their mouth that Republicans have "cut funding" for this or that social program (when indeed we usually find that it wasn't cut, it was just not expanded as much as the Democrats wanted), out of the other side of their mouth they complain about the Republicans over-spending.
The Democrats are just as complicit in the spending. They simply used the opportunity to blame it all on Republicans because they held a majority.
Don't get me wrong. The Republicans have their own bloated programs for which they are responsible. This is nothing more that an in-fighting issue and a race to prove who is the more compassionate. All at our expense.
They all forgot to ask us.
5. Posted by Oyster | October 4, 2007 7:46 AM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 07:46
6. Posted by kim | October 4, 2007 8:08 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
So what, Rick, does Reid say when Bush vetoes the biggest expansion of socialized medical care since 1993? "Bush abandons children". Sure, there's a problem, but think how Republicans would be demonized had they resisted mightily all that expansion of the government. You want to chastise Republicans? Start with Democrats.
Besides, we know your tears are crocodilian.
============================
6. Posted by kim | October 4, 2007 8:08 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 08:08
7. Posted by Joe Yangtree | October 4, 2007 8:47 AM | Score: -1 (3 votes cast)
7. Posted by Joe Yangtree | October 4, 2007 8:47 AM |
Score: -1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 08:47
8. Posted by BarneyG2000 | October 4, 2007 9:33 AM | Score: -3 (3 votes cast)
What was that about taking responsibility? It is always someone else's fault when it comes to the Republicans. Here is another example courtesy of oyster:
"The Democrats are just as complicit in the spending. They simply used the opportunity to blame it all on Republicans because they held a majority."
8. Posted by BarneyG2000 | October 4, 2007 9:33 AM |
Score: -3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 09:33
9. Posted by Candy | October 4, 2007 9:34 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
LOVE PJ - Especially "Parliament of Whores". Also Mark Twain. I have to add one more writer who slays me - in fact I just picked up an older book of his from the library yesterday, and he's had me in stitches ever since: Dave Barry.
Jay Tea, I use a similar analogy (regarding teenage boys, whiskey and car keys) when I tell parents that having a kid in a room with a closed door and internet access is even scarier than giving them a loaded gun and a bottle of booze. I have several variations on this, but they all scare the piss out of the parents, which is important. At least it stops the "Well, MY little Johnny would NEVER do a google search for 'boobs'..."
9. Posted by Candy | October 4, 2007 9:34 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 09:34
10. Posted by Candy | October 4, 2007 9:49 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
...that 'boobs' story is true, by the way.... and Little Johnny was guilty.
10. Posted by Candy | October 4, 2007 9:49 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 09:49
11. Posted by 914 | October 4, 2007 9:51 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
"Giving money and power to Government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
Or a Kennedy!
11. Posted by 914 | October 4, 2007 9:51 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 09:51
12. Posted by kim | October 4, 2007 9:54 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Ambrose Bierce is my favorite, and of his, 'Chickamauga'. Well worth a read, Rick et al; it is short.
====================
12. Posted by kim | October 4, 2007 9:54 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 09:54
13. Posted by Gizmo | October 4, 2007 10:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Parliment... should be required reading in college government classes. Particular attention should be paid to "Would You Kill Your Mother To Pave I-95?" and "Agricultural Policy: How To Tell Your Ass From This Particular Hole In The Ground". (I wounder if that federal Mohair program is still around?)
Another O'Rourke work that deserves "required reading" status is Holidays In Hell. Particularly "The Holyland - God's Monkey House" and "Among The Euro-Weenies" P.J.'s clarity is summing things up is usually dead-on.
13. Posted by Gizmo | October 4, 2007 10:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 10:38
14. Posted by rick kennerly | October 4, 2007 1:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So what, Rick, does Reid say
Reid? Find Reid anywhere in the post above. What are you talking about? The quote was from PJ O'Rourke.
14. Posted by rick kennerly | October 4, 2007 1:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 13:34
15. Posted by Spurwing Plover | October 4, 2007 2:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hey the health freaks are already after santa they want him to slim down and give up his pipe and they urge kids to leave him apples or carrots i mean these wheat germ inhaling wackos just never end do they? SCREW THE HEALTH FREAKS SANTA FEEDS HIS REINDEER ON CARROTS AND APPLES
15. Posted by Spurwing Plover | October 4, 2007 2:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 14:40
16. Posted by epador | October 4, 2007 6:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Seems obvious to me that JT's last quote applies equally to donkeys and elephants, but it seems some of the pre-adolescent probably XY genotypes didn't fathom that subtlety.
16. Posted by epador | October 4, 2007 6:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2007 18:45